free tarot (inspirational)

Card 1:  How you feel about yourself »

The Chariot

You feel everything is a constant battle at the moment, but persevere and you will triumph in the end. Expect some good news that will help you to keep going until you achieve your goals.

This is a time of movement and change and of conflicts ending in victory. You may well consider a journey that relates to work or go for that new car you've been looking at.

Card 2:  What you want most right now »

Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel suggests that you're looking for a turning point in your life and positive change, and if that's the case expect it now!

Life will go up a gear or two and events will accelerate you forward. Destiny is at play here - have you noticed a number of events that seem rather 'coincidental'? This is synchronicity, trust it and go with the flow.

Card 3:   Your fears »

Death

You are afraid of experiencing turbulent and catastrophic change, as we all are, yet such challenging transformation in our lives helps create the space for something new.

If you are experiencing or have just experienced losing a job, a bereavement, divorce or the end of a relationship, these changes will allow new experiences and opportunities to enter your life.

Card 4:   What is going for you »

Justice

There is a karmic power to the Justice card, reward for the good deeds you have done in the past. This is a period of good luck even if you don't know why you are being so favoured. You will approach any issues concerning relationships or business affairs with calm, balanced logic and any claim will go in your favour.

Card 5:   What is going against you »

The World

As always, fear holds us back and so often leads to missed opportunities. Do not give up or change direction this late in the game just because you have experienced delays - stick with it, have faith and trust the universe, and you will reach the successful conclusion you are wanting.

Card 6:  The likely outcome »

The Sun

The Sun is shining on you - it's your time for success, joy and happiness. You will feel confident and full of vitality. It's a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, perhaps enjoy a well-earned holiday, a time of pleasure and good news around children or the conception or birth of a longed-for baby. If you are not feeling this way take heart, you will enter this period soon.

respect

I found out that Lala died. She was at the jail with me. She was 38, but acted a bit childish. The way she spoke was little girly, but she was nice. She had a tattoo on her neck that said Lala. Her real name was Lalana (with the accent). I remember her explaining to me about SASY. Prior to that, I had never heard of it. She told me I get a color and I call the night before and if my color was called all I had to do the next day was show up. She made it sound so easy, but that is probably for her, she was just used to it. For me, SASY is worse then jail, by far! Annemarie later told me that she came back from work and when she went to our part of the jail, there was Lala, just sitting there as if nothing happened. 

The reason why I shared some of the girls FB profiles is because to me, this signifies a significant part of my life. No one will understand, unless they go through it...(such as the military etc). I noticed that Annemarie shared a post today to all the girls in the jail that she had tagged. She didnt tag me tho, whuteva!? So just out of curiousity, I started checking out their pages, and that is when I had discovered Lala passed away. 

As I was saying, this signifies an important part of my life, and when I looked through their pictures it just reminded me of that part of my life. Because, for some reason, I felt as if Moss might be a real friend, I shared with him some of the girls FB profiles, just so he can see some of the girls I was in the jail with. 

Lo and behold, I had forgotten what a creep Moss can be. I showed him a FB profile of this girl who sort of reminded me of jen, and i told him she is bisexual, (well, she is!?) this girl is not on my friends list, but i stalked her and just showed moss for some reason. 

I told him today about that Lala dying, and he asked me, 'is it one of the girls you wanted me to friend?"

come again? do what now??!? 

uh, never have i asked moss to friend ANYONE!??!?!! then he was like, 'whatever' no NOT WHatever moss

answer me, be honest please. did you send one of the jail girls a friends request? then he started to beat around the bush, making jokes and such.

first of all, that is embarrassing for me. if one of those girls got a friends request from some random creep on fb, they might of looked through friends to see who they know. so my name was keen to of come up.
then it would be revealed that i showed people their profiles.

this reminds me of when i told my ex boyfriend dennis what michelle rodriguez myspace password was, and he used that to msg her and try to talk to her about hawaii and lost. that made me look bad you know!??

so i kept on trying to ask moss, but all he did was make jokes.  he first said, 'ask her' then he said to look through his fb friends.

who is 'her'
that was the creepiest response ever
 i looked through mutual friends but i was not about to go searching through his whole friends list.

why couldnt he just tell me? i asked him, 'moss did you tell this person you know me?'

he dodged the questions with buffoonery. 

he thinks it is funny. i said moss please just be honest with me. please answer my questions.

"What?" he would reply. "you are confusing me!"

"Lori is the new black". "666 walnut street"

What the fuck kind of fuckery is that!?? He was mocking me.

I said to moss if you respect me as a friend, you would answer my questions. Making jokes is not respect. It is him proving to me he has no respect for me. It is him revealing to me his true colors. It is him showing me exactly how he feels about me. He views me as trash, that's what. 

Yes, I curse him out because he frustrates me and it hurts because I thought he was a friend.

He then says, "so i guess concert tickets, plane tickets for suites are not important" Him saying that to me just drove the nail in further.

I never ask him for 'concert tickets, plane tickets, or suites", he is always telling me about things but never do i ask him for anything.

Does he really think that is what friendship is all about? If so then he has been in that toxic city for too long, because that is not what true friendship and respect is about at all. I think he is around too many people that use others, but that is not what i am about. if he thinks that is what i am about, then he thinks i am trash

I do not need anyone like that in my life. 

To me, he does not represent courage, honor, or dignity.

To me, he represents sneakiness, disguised snarkiness, condescendingness and dishonesty.

i told him i will no longer talk to him unless he treats me with respect. 

Mi Vida Loca Palette: TWO-TONE EYE!

oh my gosh i always search and search for kat von d style eyes on youtube and no one ever has a tutorial but this one is from kat herself its called a two toned eye and i really like this look i am gonna start doing it, its a harley quinn sort of look. i havent worn any makeup in weeks really wow

ASMR - Boyfriend | Date Night Roleplay (Male Whisper, Kissing, Cuddle, P...

I have some asmr date night role playing ideas up my sleeve HAHA damn i need my own place ASAP! seriously i do

Miss Universe 2015: The Humiliation Ritual + MK-ULTRA Terror

also they walked through water RAIN MAN and when they did the finalists walk there were portraits of them looking down with a shattered glass effect (dissociative, multiple) not to mention the woman who ran into all those people watch video

Miss Universe Ritual

I could of told you who the winners/final 2 were to be from the Miss Universe pageant, based on what bikinis they wore. Phillipines and Columbia both wore black and white (duality). We all watched Miss Universe, (my mom and Sage) on Sunday when we got back from getting her. 

When asked why they think they would make the perfect Miss Universe, (they each wore soundproof headphones so that they would not hear each other), they gave us programmed responses. Miss USA had already stumbled her words prior, and so this time she once again stumbled her words, only to shout out, "Pay Attention" at the end. Yes, pay attention indeed.

Miss Columbia gave a very vain response, citing she is a sexy and confident woman.

Miss Phillipines said the only....well, good sound chip sounding thing, she would like to bring AWARENESS to her country about HIV and AIDS (which totally reminded me of the Miss Universe Aids awareness tour that Sanjana Jon used to do)...oh also throughout the show, Steve Harvey kept on saying, "I Pow-wow"...which was weird. sage had a chance to compete in Miss Native Princess competition but she said she was not that involved with church so she didn't. I told her she should next year for sure!

IPOWOW is a number to call they kept showing during the show (


https://www.ipowow.com/  ) weird the site has a picture of modern family with sophia vergara (columbia looked totally like her)...((((oh i was watching modern family and they had to blur out the fat gay guys cameltoe junk he was in spandex) 

so they gave out programmed answers, subliminally programming us the viewers to root for miss phillipines of course, so when the whole mishap happened, it would pack a bigger impact...

but why? what was the point of this ritual???

if you look at the logo of miss universe it resembles miss phillipines. it also resembles the columbia pictures chick and ishtar perhaps? statue of liberty/five pointed crown/starbucks siren...(even the miss universe crown is a subliminal demon face)

Miss COLUMBIA reaching for the stars. I am going to post a black child production in a few...

THE OFFICIAL JEFFREE STAR "FACE" ROUTINE

Transgender (MTF) Transition (Andrea Chrysanthe)

wow pretty interesting. im still watching it but he was a cute guy. i just always wonder about transitioning men to women, idk, just kind of interesting to me. but anyways, i think i like guys with long hair. i like that look now, i never did before...idk...being at work i kind of forgotten about feeling anything, so i forget how it feels like to be attracted to someone, or to go out to eat a restaurant, or to go to a movie...tomorrow i have to go with my parents to get sage. id rather not and just relax and clean my room a bit, i put the futon up. i cant go to sleep either even tho we are leaving in the morning. i miss going on trips. i just hope i get off sasi soon EDIT wow thats a long video. i need to go to sleep. when does he start changing!??

Anal shots/ butt chugging

oh my goard anal chugging youtube has this crazy shit...but seriously, the alchohol has to pour out. this is just gross, and dangerous. i would never allow anyone in my vicinity to do this stupid stunt.

King Weeding

The only company I have is the thoughts in my head. I like this, but then again, I do not. This causes much bouts of depression and over-analyzing. What am I? What do I represent? Do I really matter? Am I playing into this hippie hype, fueled by marijuana and ponders. I decide to take a fast-paced jot to the restrooms. Not the one that is used by all, but the one hidden in the office section. The one which is kept unlocked due to the guy that works in 'weeding'. He is allowed to use those restrooms because of his 'health condition', he told me once using quotes.

I kept note of the secret bathrooms, pushing the envelope by slowly using them every so often. No one noticed. No one cared. This new bathroom is answer to alleviate my growing depression this job is causing me. It is a path down a different outlook. 

I think about that guy who works in weeding. When I first saw him, I wondered who he was. He sat at the table like some sort of King of the Goblins, sitting on his throne. His back was turned to where I worked, and he just sat there, weeding, in solace. 

Now he has his own little desk area, where he sits, weeding. He has the looks of a smug hipster, complete with shaggy beard and a cap atop his head. I liken him to one of the lax attitude laden hipster types I seen at the drunk driving school. I don't like him much, I think. He always seems to be on a phone conference. We are at work. Who is he talking too, for hours, every night while he weeds? (Weeding is peeling the edges off of the letters, numbers and logos that we print out in Laser Cutting.)

I end up talking to him a few times, dropping casual jokes here and there. Not often, but occasionally. For the most part, I am ridden with the thoughts. The thoughts in my head, reminding me of how desolute my life is.

so moss keeps on pestering me about the damn avns and vegas and tbh i know i just will not be able to go this year. i am still on sasi, and i am working, plus i am not going to spend money on tickets and all that shit even tho moss said he would get my ticket. the truth is, sure i would like to go why not, but i just do not think this year is possible, so he needs to let off my case. the acms, yes. lets try for that. so here is a synch today i said this to moss and he told me this

he knows nothing about shutting off the rest of the world to focus his mind is so small. this world is vast and yet all moss thinks about are selfish things. 

he is not spirtual at all meaning he does not see beyond his silly stupid human self. that is him in the white and im blue and of course he did not go. no. why would he? he doesnt want to be cultured..going to a buddhist temple is something that would be very interesting to do. he is not cultured at all, maybe in porn and keeping ron around...and whatever else is going on with him. it was a synchronicty/sign that i asked him about being enlightened. that just answered my question

BTW, when you wrote this: <<right now i cant do anything what is wrong with you seriously? just because i said i miss it, doesnt mean i am saying i will never have excitement again. right now is the patience stage. do you know anything about buddhism or meditation?>> I was invited to this today: <<Tomorrow at 606 Wilshire cross street auditorium will be open tomorrow at 11 please get dear early to deal parking situation. You will be see at beautiful vintage altar to get enlightenment this ito open few time of years tomorrow will be open for last time of years come hang we Buddha's. .606 Wilshire. .make a good cause in your life. Get enlightenment. Love amy>>

that was a synchronicity see?

so you should go!

Buddhist temple

Anand Jon documents

i was googling gino (saras ex boyfriend) because i see he has been incarcerated and it sitting in the males prison at 666 walnut drive but anyways, i decided to google anand jon as i often do from time to time. i have never seen these documents but WOW!??! puts things in a different perspective. now i do not see him (well, around that time i saw him as a b-list fashion designer to the stars, even tho he also was A LIST RAPIST!!! ) but now that it is years later and i look and read all this i see that he was never a 'fashion designer' but that he was a predator moonlighting as a fashion designer. these documents are so creepy as they mention me being there several times as well.

and yes, i am definately going to write about that time. i worked for him for TWO years so there is ALOT to write about. man oh man...

http://www.courts.ca.gov/opinions/nonpub/B220072.PDF

Adele - Hello

I wanted to see what made Katy Perry lose her pancake mirror all over her pillowsheet, so I type in this video. The guy in it seems like a blabbermouth who never shuts up, so she finally tells him to shut his pie hole by throwing a scarf in his face and he gets all butthurt about it. Ok then. She does have a good voice tho. I wonder how they bury the album and dose it with witchcraft tho...

Lavender Lemonade

DIY Lavender Lemonade with Lavender Essential Oil

Ingredients

• 1 cup raw honey
• 12 cups pure water
• 1 drop lavender essential oil
• 6 lemons, peeled and juiced
• Lavender sprigs for garnish

Directions

Mix all ingredients together and chill. Add more water or raw honey if needed.

things to do:

- clean room
- write synchs in fishcenter journal
- write the letter
- womans world tips and scrapbook
- save and print pics from myspace
- crafts
- make pillows out of old band tshirts (cinderella, poison, faster pussycat, rob zombie)
- download songs and upload onto ipod
- make the youtube videos (yeah i had a child young, robertson blvd ugg and starbuck trainwreck mk ultra butterfly, he's dancing his way back to me, finally its happened to me; wine and temperpedic mattress parody)
- find out if stuff is still in old storage on carlton way
- make drs appt
- make dentist appt
- pay off fines

jewry i want (which reminds me happy channukah!) jewry, get it?

jade rings
turquoise
moonstone
opal
onyx
silver
slave bracelets

rings and jewelry i want

new peircings too (ear) -tragus, helix

take a load off sally

i want to share this on facebook but i kind of just want to chill out on fb anyways..i am so tired. this job is very depressing. cant wait to get layed off. all i do during the week is slehttp://www.veteranstoday.com/2015/12/06/holes/ep. wake up. work. sleep. wake up. work. my levels are very high. i should be getting my thyroid taken care of. moss told me to go on disability i was like, why? that was like a day before the shooting at the disability center. i dont know, doesnt mean anything...just seems like these sort of connections. obama even said poison during his speech. i did NOT think anything of it really, but afterwards, the simpsons came on, and they said poison, randomly. of course, if the simpsons say poison, i'm all like, 'well then!?"

idk, the world is fake. its all a play. stranger then one could exhume.

there were many inconsistenices one again, with the shooting in san bernardino. btw, the eagles of death has a song, which they sang, talking about cops and san bernardino. they played that song in paris.

open your eyes folks...

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2015/12/06/holes

time for sleep, so i can wake up and work another 10 hours at this depressing job.

2015 was the year of suck....

only gets better

fb synch twoheads

Facebook synchronicities. They happen to all of us. I need to make a new folder just for FB Synchs! So, this happened. I saw a pic, and the next post after I scrolled, i was like WHAA!>>>??!?

 

Synchs. I had a few this past week but I was unable to write them down when they happened. I need to make sure to bring my fishcenter journal and pen with me everywhere I go!!!???

I was reading the Strip City book, and we had a holiday lunch for us at work . Iwas kind of late so I had some pastas and what not, and a salad, but everyone else got their rolls and butter. I was so upset because I wanted a bread and butter. I sat down to read the book while I ate, and she says, 'that;s the 'bread and butter' of it.

not sure if i wrote about the tekila thing??? also, heard santa on tv as i read santa barbara...stuff like that...

i cant remember the other ones!???! i am going to make seperate blogs, one for my synchronicities, and another for my creative writing. i never get any sort of...targetted synchronicities anymore. my life is extrememly boring. work/sleep..wknds go way too fast.

going to get a futon couch so i can sit and watch movies and play my games, but writing. writing is very important to me. not just blogging, but actually putting thought into collaberative writing. if i really wanted too, i'd blow your mind away. i dont know...whoever you are!? im just saying in general...

San Bernardino Shooting Hoax - Obama War On Christmas - CNN & Satanism -...

i dont eat

every so often, i get a comment on a video i made, like an asmr one haha! i want to make more! just need a place to do it. i dont eat. i have no idea what to eat!? this house...nevermind...i just...i cant. i cant do this anymore.

the other day i was thinking about the tequila lime chicken, from te-kila in hollywood. it made me think of hollywood so i started youtubing tekila and hollywood blvd. a few minutes after that, katie msgd me asking when i would be back in hollywood. she said that she ran into george at tekila hollywood and he asked about me. SYNCH!

i forget what else i was meaning to blog now.....NOT ENOUGH TIME! i work till 3 am, come home...go online for an hour or so, sleep. wake up around 12-1 ish...then, i have to leave to work by 330. these hours SUCK they suck all your time! i hope i get layed off soon. then i can collect and take care of my health. the dr said that my bloodwork showed that my levels are very high...1700. i need to do something about it. but how can i when i barely have enough time to get ready in the little bit of time i have before work? and no i am not trying to get hired. i do not want to be like one of the people at this job who are in it for life. waiting for retirement. NO THANK YOU!

i am a free spirit. 2015 has been a horrible year for me. terrible. i travel. i go places. i live. i experience life. i am not someone who can be confined. lately i feel like i am succumbing to this life of confinement. this ho-hum mediocrity that i have come to adjust too. i can't. i can't do this shit.

so many places i want to travel before i decide to have kids. and its getting late. i need to get pregnant before i am too old.

LONDON! (yeah why not!? my friend lives there), JAPAN, EGYPT, ITALY, NEW ORLEANS, COSTA RICA (missionary trip), IRELAND (where my grandpappy is from...), THAILAND (volunteer)...


ugh almost time to go to work. this job is depressing. these hours are awful i never know when to eat. i wake up and have a light lunch...well, we dont have food here just junk. greasy stuff like bacon and sausage ughhhhh my mother buys veggies but never makes them. we never have veggies!? and my lunch is at 940. i dont eat on my breaks except a snack because first break is only 15 minutes, not enough time to eat a microwaveable meal, so i eat a light lunch at 130 and i dont eat until 945pm....

i just want this job to end already!

COMPLAINTS (chrome!!!

Earlier, I listened to the interview Nik Ritchie did with Kacey Jordan, (the porn star who slept with Charlie Sheen), and I really think that she should write a book. Not just about Charlie Sheen, but about all her clients. She started to tell some stories about how sick these guys are. She says she got pregnant with Charlie Sheen, and she had an abortion. Of course, they only had sex once and the condom broke. Aghh gross. Anyways,  I like reading stories like that. I like reading about sex industry work. It is just interesting to me, I don't know!? I am not intrigued by it, but it certainly is entertaining to read. Crazy stuff. So, I think that someone a book for me, at work. You see, I was reading the Holly Madison book, and I am done with it. Since I do not have a smart phone, I like to read books during my breaks and lunch. Before lunch, I was thinking, I need a good book to read! Kacey Jordan needs to write one! So, I saw this box for buying gifts for kids charity, so I got up to read the directions, and I spotted a book. It said, "Strip City' and had a picture of an eye on the front.  I never noticed that book before. All the books at the little table they have, a library of sorts, was boring, romance novels. So I grabbed the book, and it is interesting! It is about a stripper an autobiography  I think someone put it there for me to read. Someone who noticed me reading the Playboy Book. I think its the heavy-set girl with the ever changing variety of rainbow colored hair, who always talks to me. A while back, we were all talking, (Diane, a lady I knew from a long time ago, parents old friend..family friend whatever), and the other girl was talking , so diane was like, 'what are you eating?" because she had food in her mouth. The girl said, "peeps!" i thought that was so odd!?? why the fuck was she eating a peep, in october?? they dont come out yet?!? ok weird


I don;t know who left that book, but I am reading it. Soon I need to start writing. Seriously I have alot of stuff to write about. like the anand jon story...and more.

anyways thats all i guess ugh chrome changed on me its annoying i hate it


oh so that porn guy james deen is now being accused of rape. at first i was like, ugh that stoya whatever that vice always talks about, but i believe it. thats fucked up. misogyny prevails especially in the porn world i am sure. misogyny. i cant spell