ELECTRIC NEON LINER | FESTIVAL MAKEUP

i still need to do this look

i had a miscarriage last week. it was the toughest thing ever. i was supposed to be 11 weeks that day. my parents came in to get lunch with me. i was feeling kind of crampy, but i figured it was my uterus expanding. i asked my mom about it. we had subway for lunch. they told me to tell them im pregnant (work). i showed my parents the actual size of the baby. they left i went to the bathroom. light pink when i wiped. i got scared. i heard spotting is normal in pregnancy. i went to work. could not focus. had my last break. more light pink. clocked out and started crying. went to my ob-gyn. they made an appt for the next morning. i called out work. scared. googled signs of miscarriage. next morning went to the appt. she said sex could cause bleeding and i just had sex with kyle a few days ago (yeah whatever..)...i figured it was from that. she did the ultrasound. we saw the baby hanging out. aww how cute. no heartbeat. confirmed by dr. no heartbeat. looked at my mom, burst out crying. she hugged me and was crying too. the dr told me the baby stopped growing at after 8 weeks. so it died after i had my first ultrasound, but i was supposed to be 11 weeks.  didnt go to work next day. bleeding didnt really start. dr told me i had three options. opt for natural miscarriage, medicine to start it, or a d&c procedure. it was the weekend so i didnt make a decision. i went to get my bloodwork done. friday i went about my normal day. upset about losing the baby of course. later that night, i felt a big clot come out. im pretty sure it was the baby. my parents came over and they slept at my house in case i had to go to the ER or something. saturday i felt fine. went to bushkill park then went to the shades of death rd with mike. explored a bit. even went out for sherrys bday later that night. sunday i started getting more cramping. it was tolerable at first, passed alot of clots. started hurting really badly, couldnt move. passed alot of clots. weak, no energy. called my parents. they came and picked me up to bring me to the ER. was in so much pain. could not walk. blood pouring out. had to wait for an open room. terrible pains. finally a room was open, still hurting so much. passed more clots on the toilet. they gave me morphine which helped. went home about an hour later. my parents house. picked up meds including percocets.

monday i had appt with my general dr. i asked for anxiety pills. ive been on them since monday and they make me tired. tried to drink some beer last night kept passing out. very depressed. been on a leave of absense. my ob gyn dr didnt want me to go to work until next week. more bloodwork tomorrow then we are going to see why i keep getting miscarriages!??? why?





later today im going to get my hair cut and highlighted. shrug.

regarding my transition

this thang..sorry. she KNOWS she is not a TRUE female/ this is why she is making these videos. trishay paytas has a flat back, never can get pregnant. i already did a transvestigation on her but i will do another one. she knows she is not a true woman ok???? she wants to spill the beans but she cannot!!!!

hey. so just when i think im getting over kyle,,he comes over and its so hot. like, im just so super attracted to him WTFHA?? and hes just..ughh...i cant stop thinking about him. anyways whatever

so...im 10 wks and 6 days pregnant, so it really seems more in the  week i was with mike that i conceived which is a good thing. i dont know kyle and it would be really weird and awkward if it was his. i mean, yes i like him alot...but yeah.

so i am going to just move in with mike (i will send his address)...just so i can save money.

heres the deal..like, this summer, i started going out and i actually started encountering (and that just means, seeing certain guys out..or whatever, you know..talking to cute guys..i mean yes i was with kyle a few times and he did stop by the other night i saw him..oh my gosh!!)

but i was starting to feel it, just like..well you know. seeing guys i find attractive..like that. i dont feel that way about mike anymore. i just dont.

the way hes treated me ...also, i just..my feelings arent there anymore. and no we havent had sex since august. probably since he got me pregnant. right?

so i really dont think i want to try to be a family with him. its sad yes...but maybe we can do split custody? i will not ask for child support tho. i dont know. this is really tought. i have a baby growing inside me and i am going to have a child to take care of! WOW! also, i wouldnt do the split custody until a few years down the road. i just dont want to be with mike.

ahh too much to think about!??! another thing with mike ..he makes me feel like my life is over. my life doenst have to be over if i have a kid.


i can still meet someone who is fun, hot, easy going, likes me, open minded, adventurous, sexy as heck..loves summer, travelling. doesnt shame me. etc etc etc.

next summer i will have this baby and yeah we will see. i also intend to start working out asap and get myself looking like a hot mama!

i cant wait to see this lil baby!!!

Katy Perry - Harleys In Hawaii (Official)

motorcycle rides are so sexy! i need me a man with a harley or somethin...lol

looks like it would be mikes tho..but im going to check my most fertile window later when im around all my notes of when i got my periods

Conception Date

The most likely conception date for a baby due on May 7, 2020 was August 14, 2019, based on a “typical” 40 week pregnancy.

Intercourse Dates

If your baby is due on May 7, 2020, intercourse was likely between August 8, 2019 and August 14, 2019. This is because sperm can live inside your body for up to a week, if the conditions are right.

Pregnancy Calendar

See what’s happening with baby and mama throughout your pregnancy with a complete pregnancy calendar for babies due on May 7, 2020.

hidden messages directed at me??

sometimes i still do notice things..directed at me i suppose? i didnt write about it before, but i will now. so..in the movie, the fanatic, it takes place in hollywood. the blvd primarily. the main character, played by john travolta, is 'moose'. MOOSE!?? he is a stalker type who tries to get close to his hero. idk, something about that character reminded me of moss in a way...also, he has a sign in his apartment (which was actually really cool), that says POISON on it. i was like, uhh..shrug. i noticed a few other things but i forget...but i also notice in the guys bedroom, was a single bottle of yuengling beer. my beer!?? what i drank when i was drinking that is. yuengling tho? aint no yuengling in california!?? so, i mean, that got my attention you know???

so im watching jersey shore. pt 1 of vinnys chippendale review..jwow is wearing a neon green dress, which i kept thinking of how nice that dress was. pt 2, they are wearing animal masks. them wearing animal masks got my attention..like some illuminati weird ritual stuff or something...but then, i notice jwow is wearing the same white rabbit mask i had when i was in hollywood. i wore that mask at a halloween party too. she wore that mask at the crazy horse strip club. they made jersey shore to film the outside of the strip club..and i recognized it. i was at that strip club when i got super drunk and left my purse and cell phone behind. i retrieved it back, still. also, that night..i was wearing a neon green dress. now im wondering if its all a hidden message at me...?
jwows even wearing the mask same as i did?

ovulation tracker. i figured out the average of days in between my periods, range from 28-35 days, making the average 30 days. i have been tracking my period but for some fucking reason i didnt put down when i had my period in august...i have been getting it second week of each month. now im really worried because im scared that it may not be mikes because......i was with kyle i didnt think it would be his...im just worried. i need it to be mikes. but i did take an ovulation test that august and it said i was ovulating on the 13th and i was with mike on the 11th..sperm can live up to 5 days. you only ovulate for 2 days so the egg would not of been around when i was with kyle which was on the 19th of august..but according to my cycle id be ovulating that week of the 19th.

this pumpkin spice is not helping me rest.

oh heres the juicy stuff i guess..

i have been getting my period every month (give or take)..since i was 13 years old. my period stories? um..i dont really have any? i mean...i have bled before and not have a pad. it doesnt really leak down the side of your legs tho. more like, it gets sticky in your underwear, and depending on what you are wearing , the stain will just be noticeable in the crotch area. so, not as if people are gonna notice blood everywhere. also, not gonna leave some blood stain on some poor sap either. yeah, cramps happen..but its not going to affect your whole outlook of the day..it comes every month. yes. check. first few days you cannot wear a tampon without a pad. for real tho. or you will leak on through the tampon..

with that being said, i googled 'celebrities who free bleed' because i remember reading about some blind where a female celeb just free bled everywhere. now, did this really happen? and who wsa this female celeb? do female celebs even get periods?

heres an article i found:

https://people.com/health/celebrity-period-pms-stories/?slide=5759493#5759493

Dakota Johnson "My boobs are like eight times the size they normally are. It’s really a traumatic thing, and it happens every month.”
um..having a period will not cause your boobs to get any bigger. WEIRD!??!

dove cameron : 
These days, the Descendants actress is completely comfortable being candid about her menstrual cycle. “I’m totally open about it now,” she said. “It’s actually super cool to get your period. I always get so stoked. My boyfriend’s like, ‘You’re a woman, that’s awesome.’ I’m like, ‘I know, it’s pretty great.'”

WEIRD of her boyfriend to say that to her. YOURE A WOMAN! THATS GREAT!??!

um what guy is gonna congratulate his girlfriend on being a woman because she got her period??

amy schumer says she was wearing a vivianne westwood dress and an OB tampon. um WHAT WHY? if you are wearing a designer dress, no small little OB tampon is gonna keep you safe! unless you are on the tail end of your period...

While on the subject, the star recounted being startled after asking a group of women for a tampon at a recent photo shoot. “The girl goes, in front of the whole room, ‘What size?’ I’m like, I know there’s different sizes of tampons, obviously, but nobody’s ever confronted me,” Schumer shared. “Like, ‘What’s the circumference of your — you’re a big hole, a little hole? How big is the hole in your body?’”


amy schumer, again, it does not work like that. she might have a vagina.. shcumer, but she aint getting a period..theres a video jon humanity did of her a while back. he doesnt make transvestigations anymore. but different size tampons work for different times of ones period. (i havent had my period in 2 months..since beginning of august)


lena dunham said she had a 13 day period once. um WHAT?  a real female would get that checked out

mindy kaling: I started menstruating in ninth grade. I spent all of eighth grade faking that I had my period, down to sticking Kotex in my underwear in case anyone needed proof,” she wrote.

FAKING she had her period. natalie portman joked that she was faking her pregnancy.

yeah..truth lies in weird ..whatevers


mon

Greta Thunberg Should Be In School

this one. doing all these masonic gestures. have they created an adult/child? and its not very comfortable to do the spock hand symbol, whilst holding water bottles and microphones!???! for real. this one is a transgendered mind controlled illuminati brainwashed pawn. what a life.

t

apology

why is trisha even saying she is transgender? is it because of my video transvestigation i did of her last year? jk..but i have left comments suggesting that she is an actual MTF. her back..her spine..is very flat. her skull shape is more masculine than feminine. i mean, do these people know they are transgender? because trish seems to feel something is up...

MTF Actors: Ellen Page

wow too bad they cant just let them be their TRUE GENDER ellen page is supposed to be a boy