hey. so just when i think im getting over kyle,,he comes over and its so hot. like, im just so super attracted to him WTFHA?? and hes just..ughh...i cant stop thinking about him. anyways whatever

so...im 10 wks and 6 days pregnant, so it really seems more in the  week i was with mike that i conceived which is a good thing. i dont know kyle and it would be really weird and awkward if it was his. i mean, yes i like him alot...but yeah.

so i am going to just move in with mike (i will send his address)...just so i can save money.

heres the deal..like, this summer, i started going out and i actually started encountering (and that just means, seeing certain guys out..or whatever, you know..talking to cute guys..i mean yes i was with kyle a few times and he did stop by the other night i saw him..oh my gosh!!)

but i was starting to feel it, just like..well you know. seeing guys i find attractive..like that. i dont feel that way about mike anymore. i just dont.

the way hes treated me ...also, i just..my feelings arent there anymore. and no we havent had sex since august. probably since he got me pregnant. right?

so i really dont think i want to try to be a family with him. its sad yes...but maybe we can do split custody? i will not ask for child support tho. i dont know. this is really tought. i have a baby growing inside me and i am going to have a child to take care of! WOW! also, i wouldnt do the split custody until a few years down the road. i just dont want to be with mike.

ahh too much to think about!??! another thing with mike ..he makes me feel like my life is over. my life doenst have to be over if i have a kid.


i can still meet someone who is fun, hot, easy going, likes me, open minded, adventurous, sexy as heck..loves summer, travelling. doesnt shame me. etc etc etc.

next summer i will have this baby and yeah we will see. i also intend to start working out asap and get myself looking like a hot mama!

i cant wait to see this lil baby!!!