i cant be with mike

why? he never wants to do anything with me. last night was an attempt to chill, drink some, watch vids, hang, talk, CONVERSATE, did that happen? no! of course not!!! whoa i just pasted that...ok!??! yeah so no, instead he lays on the couch like some sort of..i dont know? my parents are coming over, is he going to my cousins baby shower? no! that is what you do when you are in a relationship! ugh i just cant do this anymore. this isnt a relationship! (and no, i do not want to marry moss!) uck....im upset. we dont have fun together, and this is important for me, for him to go but he just wants to hide out in the basement. why am i with him? im leaving. i am! *and no, i do not want to marry moss!* moss is my friend but i could not marry someone who isnt my equal....someone..no just nO! oh yeah, i bought 2 six packs last night, (because i wanted to drink some beer, sue me! i worked all week in that boring place! plus, i can drink about 9 beers. well, he threw out the rest! it cost me 17.00 and he threw out my beer! im sick of him! ) i admit, i am kind of hungover right now and dont feel like being all upbeat around my christian family...ugh, but this is why i need mike there. he is supposed to be my boyfriend. that is what boyfriends do. imagine if we got married!? wow! that will never happen! hmm....matt is going for lisa! they are getting married, in december. its going to be a cruise ship wedding! im getting older ok? im not the hot 18 year old model on the valley beat ok? my life is not young and fresh! no! im getting older! im becoming an old lady! i need children, before my womb just...fails to exist! my womb needs bundlelization! http://www.thevalleybeat.com/The_Model_Beat/Model_Of_The_Week/Model_Of_The_Week
ok i cant deal with this anymore. why am i with him? he is carrying on, punching things, and stuff! wow! he is going to go, (i think?) who knows? and he tells me i cant drink!? i think seamarina wants to go out tonight. i just want to enjoy myself and have convestation, something that mike and i NEVER HAVE! he negates me, insults me, disrespects me!@ i had it! i need to live MY life...and he obviously does NOT want to be a part of it!