i feel bad, earlier i was thinking , i could of had a 14 year old, yes! i got pregnant when i was 19, wow! i just...sigh...i feel terrible. i really cant wait to have kids, i told mike i want a baby and he said 2 years...i know moss keeps saying, 'lori you cant do that' etc...but the truth is, i want to feel how it is to be pregnant. i think it would be a calm, comfortable feeling. and i would look forward to my drs visits each month, and the ultrasound. it seems like such a loving time, to be pregnant. moss tells me that because he wants me to pursue my dreams, but what exactly are my dreams? what does it even matter? my life path went askew and i just do not know what my life path even is!??? i wish i can back up my life...and never EVER listen to anyone except for myself....life is short and before you know it, you ARE older. there was so many things i didnt do for myself because i have people telling me what to do.....(move here...come out here....follow my plan....move in) i never was able to just listen to myself, i would be in a much better place now if i could of just listened to myself. let me tell you something...hmm...........well, my early 20s, ok? i broke up with glenn, but for the better since he was cheating on me, and you know, like i said, for the better. after that, i was able to get jobs with temp agencies like manpower and allied, (unlike now where they just say, if we have something we will get back to you...YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING and its so frustrating now), and through temp agencies i had worked at pharmacuetical factories and warehouses such as roche and alcan, WSI etc....i liked those jobs, i really did. roche was a big plant and me and this other younger girl both worked there, it was 12 hour shifts during the summer, at 10.00, but i liked it. 4 days a week...we would assemble the big bulk bags and start the machines for the powder for whatever it was they were making. we also had picnics and fun things..
wsi was alot of fun too, we all got along, for the most part...listened to the radio, goofed off, everyone was an interesting character lol! my old buddy found me on facebook we used to chat alot, and the one big butch lady did not like me....there were others too, like jeremy the mouse, and paulo the situation skinny lookalike who would always hit on me, and derrick who was mixed, (black hispanic maybe?* ) who would always sleep on the job, he would go in the bathroom to sleep he also crossed the line sometimes you know? he knew the morning of 9/11 that something was gonna go down..? weird....but we had meetings there, coffee and cigarette breaks, we also all got forklift certified, and sometimes took the drums out unload or load onto the back of the trucks, (which i liked to do)...i liked that job too...we had a christmas party too where my friend stephanie came, (i brought her instead of glenn, not sure why i forget?) and she ended up liking the 'big boss'...ha! rich kramer! and then there was the hot skinny blonde
secretary, (what was her name again!???) i forget...wow how funny!but that was only a temp job so after 6 months i got layed off and was able to collect unemployment, where i learned about classes being payed to go to school, so i enrolled at warren county community college for graphic and web design! (something i do enjoy doing..)....what am i blogging about? forget it....i forgot my charger its 6 pm....i need to figure out what drinks to get so i can stock up....sigh SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wow! oh so at 25, (kind of late to start modeling right?) i went on the howard stern show and i was in a magazine too....(why am i writing all this!?? HA! whatever)...so yeah, also, i started modeling etc....ended up travelling and doing fashion shows etc for about 2 years, moved out to LA/hollywood....im just trying to see what happened for me to end up HERE!!! doing ABSO-FUCKING NOTHING WITH MY LIFE! and when i came home, people were not impressed that i lived out there, nope not really. no body really cared. nobody cares....
wsi was alot of fun too, we all got along, for the most part...listened to the radio, goofed off, everyone was an interesting character lol! my old buddy found me on facebook we used to chat alot, and the one big butch lady did not like me....there were others too, like jeremy the mouse, and paulo the situation skinny lookalike who would always hit on me, and derrick who was mixed, (black hispanic maybe?* ) who would always sleep on the job, he would go in the bathroom to sleep he also crossed the line sometimes you know? he knew the morning of 9/11 that something was gonna go down..? weird....but we had meetings there, coffee and cigarette breaks, we also all got forklift certified, and sometimes took the drums out unload or load onto the back of the trucks, (which i liked to do)...i liked that job too...we had a christmas party too where my friend stephanie came, (i brought her instead of glenn, not sure why i forget?) and she ended up liking the 'big boss'...ha! rich kramer! and then there was the hot skinny blonde
secretary, (what was her name again!???) i forget...wow how funny!but that was only a temp job so after 6 months i got layed off and was able to collect unemployment, where i learned about classes being payed to go to school, so i enrolled at warren county community college for graphic and web design! (something i do enjoy doing..)....what am i blogging about? forget it....i forgot my charger its 6 pm....i need to figure out what drinks to get so i can stock up....sigh SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wow! oh so at 25, (kind of late to start modeling right?) i went on the howard stern show and i was in a magazine too....(why am i writing all this!?? HA! whatever)...so yeah, also, i started modeling etc....ended up travelling and doing fashion shows etc for about 2 years, moved out to LA/hollywood....im just trying to see what happened for me to end up HERE!!! doing ABSO-FUCKING NOTHING WITH MY LIFE! and when i came home, people were not impressed that i lived out there, nope not really. no body really cared. nobody cares....
yeah no one cared. no one likes to hear about things i did with my life, especially mike. do you think he cares? he doesnt 'pay homage' to hollywood but he sure pays homage to penny....you know? since i moved back, i was attempting to go back out to LA but that seemed to be stalled, now i am living with mike and stuff, i dont have a good job, its kind of hard i cant even save up to buy some outfits. you see??? now i question my life....now, the only thing i got going for me is blogging, and facebook...and even the excitement of feeling like....whatever, is not even there anymore....excitement for life is slowly being drained for me...."hi that will be . 2.10"
**wow this was a good way to depress myself...geez....:/**
*wasnt trying to sound racist either. paulo was portugese btw...
EDIT: a lady actually asked me if i had any kids i forgot to add :(
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