My friend is dying. She is yellow, jaundice. She is super thin, her liver is failing. I was looking for her old modeling photos but I think I already gave them to her. She has really aged, but then she started looking healthy again. I saw her a while back, she was super thin, but then I saw her when we went to the AA meeting, she was healthy looking. I saw her two weeks ago, she was yellow skin and thin. Now she is sick and weak in a hospital room.
My dad and uncle Bob and I went to see her tonight. She was sleeping, but they asked if she wanted to see us, she said yes. They brought her Bibles, and then my uncle put oil on her forehead and started praying for her. Praying and going over how in the Bible, miracles were performed. He spoke a bit of tongues. We prayed for a long time for her. Afterwards, she was crying, but she said she felt God in the room. So did I. God was definately there, I tell you what. Prayer is something, I try to tell people and they do not think prayer is meaningful, but it is. We felt God's presence. She wants to heal! I want her to heal, get better! For her kids sake, and hers! She is a good person. Yes, she has made alot of wrong choices, but she does not deserve to leave this world. I told her, "you get better, and you can sing at church." Imagine her testimony. Yes, God does wonders, miracles. Hearing my uncle pray and worship is so interesting. He has always been very loud spoken about his faith in the Lord, approaching strangers and telling them the Gospel. I knew he would move my friend. He is a good person, and a great disciple. I am not really religious, per se..but listening to him, it brings me back to being a little kid. We would always visit churches with my dad, and my uncle, and their friends, who were also singers, in gospel groups. They called themselves The Masters Clay, and they performed and sang and churches all around. I remember the tunes, very happy, upbeat music. Hearing him pray is not about being the Christian that this world despises, and doesn't understand. No, it is about pure safe fellowship, hearing prayers and hearing the language of the Heavens. Shannan felt it. My dad and uncle Bob then sang a little hymn for Shannan.
I was crying too. We went back to their house, and I gave Mike a call.
He told me basically, that her life is a waste, and she doesn't deserve to live. She doesn't deserve a miracle, she is an unfit mother and she lets drug dealers into her house. I told him, by the Love of God, a miracle will happen, and this miracle will CHANGE HER!!!! She will no longer put herself in these situations, she will become a worker of GOD!!! I will bring her and her kids to church. I will not drink with her, but I will encourage and support her! THIS IS WHAT YOU DO when you truly love someone.
Mike does not encourage or support me. He does not tenderly care for me. A husband needs to encourage, support, and care for his wife, and vice versa.
I honestly do not feel as if Mike is capable of doing this. Especially after hearing what he had to say about my friend, who quite honestly, is dying.
I was asking him, "do you think she deserves to die?" And he hung up on me. When I came home, I cried for a good 20 minutes. I do not want her to die. I want her to live! Heal! Get better!
Be a mother, be a sister, a friend. Be the beautiful person that she is. She will!
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
throughout my life ( well, since around age 13 when i started wearing perfume)...perfume has documented different times of my life. each scent hold memories for me, and i think throwback perfumes will be quite triggering and relaxing for an asmr video. such scents will include...
(starting from when i was 13 up until, well, now?? or, idk we will see..)
- Navy
- Malibu Musk
- exclamation
- loves baby powder
- electric youth
- elizabeth arden sunflowers
- pleasures
- charlie red
- ck one
- gap dream
- gap grass
- victorias secret apple
- victorias secret pear glace
- j.lo glow
- j.lo miami glow
- beyonce heat
so yeah, im going to get these scents to revisit them and what not. i am sure im forgetting a bunch, of course...but this will be more of a throwback to the 80s/90s or what not...the list starts from 8th to the army, to being in my 20s, with beyonce heat being in my 30s living with mike. i wear perfumes now but those are NOW TIMES!~ ya hear???
i forgot , bath and body works japanese cherry blossom and twilight woods reminds me of when i was living in los feliz, california. see? different scents will remind me of different times throughout my life.
(starting from when i was 13 up until, well, now?? or, idk we will see..)
- Navy
- Malibu Musk
- exclamation
- loves baby powder
- electric youth
- elizabeth arden sunflowers
- pleasures
- charlie red
- ck one
- gap dream
- gap grass
- victorias secret apple
- victorias secret pear glace
- j.lo glow
- j.lo miami glow
- beyonce heat
so yeah, im going to get these scents to revisit them and what not. i am sure im forgetting a bunch, of course...but this will be more of a throwback to the 80s/90s or what not...the list starts from 8th to the army, to being in my 20s, with beyonce heat being in my 30s living with mike. i wear perfumes now but those are NOW TIMES!~ ya hear???
i forgot , bath and body works japanese cherry blossom and twilight woods reminds me of when i was living in los feliz, california. see? different scents will remind me of different times throughout my life.
☆ASMR PERFUME SALES ROLEPLAY☆
she had the lady gaga fame perfume, and around 21:23 she puts it up to the camera, and you can actually hear weird screaming sounds. (yeah birds, just weird how it happens when she puts the card up to the camera- i remember people saying that lady gaga used alchemy spells to put in her perfume..so...just weird!?? oh fenella, she sounds like you! i think. anyways, i want to do a perfume sale throwback scents asmr. i will list the perfumes next post.
when i am at work, i think about asmr ideas. i really want to make more videos for my asmr channel. here are the ideas:
- movie theater
- 50s/60s breakfast diner
- breast implants consultation (there are NEVER breast implant ones, always nose jobs and stuff like that_
- hiring for a maid service
- good night guest
- wedding planner
- hairstylist, (punky styles)...
- welcome to heaven roleplay
i need a green screen and a setup. mikes house is bigger so i will be able to have the full upstairs. hes gonna stay in the basement. ill set the porch room up as a cozy office/greenscreen area.
- movie theater
- 50s/60s breakfast diner
- breast implants consultation (there are NEVER breast implant ones, always nose jobs and stuff like that_
- hiring for a maid service
- good night guest
- wedding planner
- hairstylist, (punky styles)...
- welcome to heaven roleplay
i need a green screen and a setup. mikes house is bigger so i will be able to have the full upstairs. hes gonna stay in the basement. ill set the porch room up as a cozy office/greenscreen area.
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
The Truth… Bhad Bhabie CopyCat Makeup Tested
aww she looks like sage. someone made a transvestigation about her but i think she is a real female. i cant believe sage is going to have a baby!??! WTH!??!
Monday, January 28, 2019
Sunday, January 27, 2019
drag kid
wow! https://vigilantcitizen.com/vigilantreport/the-exploitation-of-drag-kid-desmond-is-amazing/
I think they know how to make autism...(vaccines? or just a plot twist..),,,and this allows a childs mind to be more molded. as in the case with desmond, but based on the imagery he is being photod with...he is getting abused and tortured.
im watching about the ted bundy show...his files. also, desmond is sitting next to a murderer! a murderer who not only hit someone over the head 3 times, with a hammer, but proceeded to chop up the body to hide it!?? WHAT? what normal person can even DO THIS?
and desmond is sitting casually next to a person (like ted bundy). who did this. of course, was that person ,and ted bundy, seperated mentally? one was a normal, pleasant person, the other..
split personas, such as being able to perform on webcam, porn stars...i mean, is it because they really have split personalities?? that is what i think that CAM movie was really about...
I think they know how to make autism...(vaccines? or just a plot twist..),,,and this allows a childs mind to be more molded. as in the case with desmond, but based on the imagery he is being photod with...he is getting abused and tortured.
im watching about the ted bundy show...his files. also, desmond is sitting next to a murderer! a murderer who not only hit someone over the head 3 times, with a hammer, but proceeded to chop up the body to hide it!?? WHAT? what normal person can even DO THIS?
and desmond is sitting casually next to a person (like ted bundy). who did this. of course, was that person ,and ted bundy, seperated mentally? one was a normal, pleasant person, the other..
split personas, such as being able to perform on webcam, porn stars...i mean, is it because they really have split personalities?? that is what i think that CAM movie was really about...
i think there are underlying sort of...things, in that CAM movie. such as that girl who wins the awards, she is probably MK'd and probably an MTF. (yes, porn stars have been transgendered in utero. christy mack for example, has the hips of a male. not a woman. )..adonis belt!
i need to make more videos DANG! but the movie sort of implies split personalities, so of course, the top webcam models were molded that way. i mean, the tippers might even be algorythyms, with all those silly goofy gifs, that the movie even highlighted...to appear as if they are the top...tra-lala!
and in the movie, her doppleganger had an MK vibe to it...
i dont know ,its weird!??!?'
also, i really did not like the reactions of her and the girls, thinking that someone found a lookalike. i mean, when i get scared and or nervous, im like..freaking out! "WHAT THE HECK!?? HOW THE FUCK??? WHAT IS GOING ON THIS IS SO WEIRD!??" i mean, if i was a camgirl, and i saw an exact replica, well, if i saw ME online, when i wasnt even online!?? I wouldnt just think it was a setup, id be like WHAT!??
i need to make more videos DANG! but the movie sort of implies split personalities, so of course, the top webcam models were molded that way. i mean, the tippers might even be algorythyms, with all those silly goofy gifs, that the movie even highlighted...to appear as if they are the top...tra-lala!
and in the movie, her doppleganger had an MK vibe to it...
i dont know ,its weird!??!?'
also, i really did not like the reactions of her and the girls, thinking that someone found a lookalike. i mean, when i get scared and or nervous, im like..freaking out! "WHAT THE HECK!?? HOW THE FUCK??? WHAT IS GOING ON THIS IS SO WEIRD!??" i mean, if i was a camgirl, and i saw an exact replica, well, if i saw ME online, when i wasnt even online!?? I wouldnt just think it was a setup, id be like WHAT!??
i wont give spoilers to that movie...well, does anyone CARE!??!
this would be a huge fucked up thing to do to someone...
seperate twins, except train one to know about the other twin, and the one twin not even knowing.
the one twin has no idea it is a twin (aside from some strange dreams and weird synchronistic feelings)...
one day, comes across footage of themselves somehow, although they are like, 'um, i do not remember doing that??' they keep encountering things, videos or whatever, that they do not remember doing.
one day, they actually come in contact with themselves!! but, it was the twin!
how fucked up would that be?
The Prank! Coming Soon to Theaters near You!
this would be a huge fucked up thing to do to someone...
seperate twins, except train one to know about the other twin, and the one twin not even knowing.
the one twin has no idea it is a twin (aside from some strange dreams and weird synchronistic feelings)...
one day, comes across footage of themselves somehow, although they are like, 'um, i do not remember doing that??' they keep encountering things, videos or whatever, that they do not remember doing.
one day, they actually come in contact with themselves!! but, it was the twin!
how fucked up would that be?
The Prank! Coming Soon to Theaters near You!
[ASMR] Relaxing Spa Facial RP
When I was younger, we used to go visit my parents friends, Rich and Diane. I loved going over there. Rich had a beard and mustache and was a graphic designer. He used to make toys as well and he made Lisa and I a few toys, including a green lizard puppet and a cool dollhouse. I still remember how Diane talked. She had green eyes, I always called her, 'the lady with the green eyes.' I remember her infliction and just the way she spoke, much emphasis on words and such. One time, we had pizza and soda. Diane asked us each what kind of soda we wanted. I said, 'grape!" She then asked Lisa. Lisa shyly whispered, "Orange" Diane did not hear her. "what?" then lisa sort of slithered up off the table like a snake, "oRANGE!!" ( I always have these silly memories of Lisa. she isn't doing too good..alcohol. I don't know what to say to her...) but yeah, this asmr girl sort of reminds me of Diane, even the way she acts like. Rich and Diane were an older couple, no kids. Eventually, Diane did have a baby, (Ryan), I think she was in her 40s tho? Could of been 30s but when you are a kid, 30s seems old!)...and it was fun to go there because they had a nintendo with games such as bubble bobble and the goonies. I wonder what happened to them? I will have to ask my mom.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
creating and what not
Moss is in Vegas now, about to head into the AVN awards. I would of been there, if I wanted too. Truth is, I'd rather wait till April. It takes alot to take a weekend off, pack, and fly on a damn plane, just to follow Moss around while he gets his flower or make sports bets. Besides, I have been there many times for the AVNs, I know how it is like. But anyways...it is saturday night and im sitting home! i dont work tomorrow. i might go to church, probably. why not? i like going to church. im not drinking tonight. im sick tho. i was going to go to a party, (an essential oils party..so like, selling oils), but it was cancelled until feb. i watched 'american meme' on netflix. they have paris hilton in it (amongst other instagram or social media influencers..)...and, it actually showed footage of her when she first broke out, with anand jon!?? Why? i think that was the most earliest footage of her, when she worked with him. does she even know he is in prison for raping teenage girls?? if i stayed in LA im sure i would of went to a party at her house. i did party with her tho. at PURE in vegas, and also, la duex in hollywood. well, we walked up to her VIP table (with anand) in vegas. the one in hollywood was chelsea handlers party that my friend and i got into. hollywood is quite small and it is easy to shimmy into those type of parties, if you try. i guess. idk. my life now is so boring. sometimes i do miss and crave that excitement, i suppose.
no i dont wish i was in vegas now. that would mean i would be with moss, and i would be annoyed. last year i was drinking vodka before and during the show, i NEVER drink vodka like that. moss kept trying to push me to hang out with some girls he knew that went to a strip club. i didnt know them. why was he pushing me onto other people? eventually i did drink enough and i didnt care. so yeah i went with that girl and her husband or whatever he was and it didnt turn out good. so i just dont trust being around that kind of environment.
moss thinks, oh, she parties, she parties, let them party together. no, no. i do not know them, and vice versa. NOT A good fucking idea especially when going to a strip club and my attention span is DRUNK. that was last year. thinking about the avn awards tho, i never wanted to leave the hard rock to go to a strip club!? i wanted to stay at the hard rock...!??!
oh well...lol. moss just told me that girl is there (well i asked him) and he told me her grandfather played the biggest mafia guy in the movie casino. im like, what was the name of the guy? hes so vague.
oh so i was hanging out with a mafia chick that night? (jk i know it was a movie..pasquale cajano is the guys name he died in 2000)
anyways...so, i dont know what else i wanted to say. im bored, jk im happy to be home, i mean, going out isnt a big deal, but sometimes i get the itch...and i get an itch for attention. you know? i mean, no, im not still in my 20s, but..sometimes it feels nice to get attention, i guess.
i know, im engaged to mike...but i miss those feelings...i mean, hes trying. i cant be thinking like this. its not right!
i do want a family. and when i move in with mike, i can focus more on writing. creating. even my youtube channels. i have subscribers to all my channels, and some are growing! i have 5 youtube channels. and i have subscribers who are actually fans! they compliment me and they like my ways, they like what i do..they watch all my videos. really!??!
one is my normal lulafawn one...blogs, mukbangs, vlogs, smoking, having a beer, talking...
i have my ASMR one, (need and want to do more. i am going to get a greenscreen and i am definately going to revive it. i have subs there and i get comments)
my SMOKING channel. this is one that i think i can get payed views from (if youtube allows it??) it of course, is 18 + ..but it gets thousands of views per video, and new subscribers every day. theres a thing for smoking on youtube, idk shrug
my TRANSVESTIGATION channel! lots of subscribers and comments all the time! i need to make more vids!
my personal channel. hardly no subs, (i dont think any), but i like it that way. i do not tell my other channels about my personal channel and i do not want subs to that one. its just home video type of deals. trips, or hanging out with lila. not meant to have other people watch, you know?
so maybe i can work on it, build a brand? haha!
i definately need to write my autobiography about working for anand jon.
i also want to write memoirs of a walmart worker (silly read)
and my FICTION stories as well as my childrens stories!
YAY! and more! so i dont care if my weekends are not crazy or whatever. i need to focus on creating!
no i dont wish i was in vegas now. that would mean i would be with moss, and i would be annoyed. last year i was drinking vodka before and during the show, i NEVER drink vodka like that. moss kept trying to push me to hang out with some girls he knew that went to a strip club. i didnt know them. why was he pushing me onto other people? eventually i did drink enough and i didnt care. so yeah i went with that girl and her husband or whatever he was and it didnt turn out good. so i just dont trust being around that kind of environment.
moss thinks, oh, she parties, she parties, let them party together. no, no. i do not know them, and vice versa. NOT A good fucking idea especially when going to a strip club and my attention span is DRUNK. that was last year. thinking about the avn awards tho, i never wanted to leave the hard rock to go to a strip club!? i wanted to stay at the hard rock...!??!
oh well...lol. moss just told me that girl is there (well i asked him) and he told me her grandfather played the biggest mafia guy in the movie casino. im like, what was the name of the guy? hes so vague.
oh so i was hanging out with a mafia chick that night? (jk i know it was a movie..pasquale cajano is the guys name he died in 2000)
anyways...so, i dont know what else i wanted to say. im bored, jk im happy to be home, i mean, going out isnt a big deal, but sometimes i get the itch...and i get an itch for attention. you know? i mean, no, im not still in my 20s, but..sometimes it feels nice to get attention, i guess.
i know, im engaged to mike...but i miss those feelings...i mean, hes trying. i cant be thinking like this. its not right!
i do want a family. and when i move in with mike, i can focus more on writing. creating. even my youtube channels. i have subscribers to all my channels, and some are growing! i have 5 youtube channels. and i have subscribers who are actually fans! they compliment me and they like my ways, they like what i do..they watch all my videos. really!??!
one is my normal lulafawn one...blogs, mukbangs, vlogs, smoking, having a beer, talking...
i have my ASMR one, (need and want to do more. i am going to get a greenscreen and i am definately going to revive it. i have subs there and i get comments)
my SMOKING channel. this is one that i think i can get payed views from (if youtube allows it??) it of course, is 18 + ..but it gets thousands of views per video, and new subscribers every day. theres a thing for smoking on youtube, idk shrug
my TRANSVESTIGATION channel! lots of subscribers and comments all the time! i need to make more vids!
my personal channel. hardly no subs, (i dont think any), but i like it that way. i do not tell my other channels about my personal channel and i do not want subs to that one. its just home video type of deals. trips, or hanging out with lila. not meant to have other people watch, you know?
so maybe i can work on it, build a brand? haha!
i definately need to write my autobiography about working for anand jon.
i also want to write memoirs of a walmart worker (silly read)
and my FICTION stories as well as my childrens stories!
YAY! and more! so i dont care if my weekends are not crazy or whatever. i need to focus on creating!
Friday, January 25, 2019
i had a weird dream early this morning. i just read about how lucifer is actually female, (and shows always say lucy just earlier someone in the synchronicity group posted about lucy in the show lucifer)...but my dream was about a girl who has been abused all her life. she became evil and satan wanted her back. we entered a room, and it had pictures of all these times when terrible things happened to her. she revealed that she found out those times were totems, that she placed in her former life..to remind her of who she really is and who she is working for (satan)..but i did not believe that one bit. satan was coming, we could hear him down the hallways about to break down our door. this little girl was evil and tried to murder everyone, but i grabbed her and brought her with us. there was some kind of cup or something...a snowglobe? that i had to break in order to lure satan to us, but it was also a trap, because that cup had the power to entrap him back to hell. the little girl believed she had to go to hell, but aside from me hating her for stabbing my loved ones and trying to kill me, i still grabbed her, broke the glass, and ran. satan as right behind us, but we were able to get into another room and close the door and hold it shut even tho he was trying to open it, but then we heard a suction noise and he got sucked back down the hallways into hell. later we learned that it wasnt even satan, it was one of his minions that he had sent to do his dirty work (going to our dimension), just as the girl wasnt really working for satan he was trying to steal her soul. i saved her tho.
yeah weird dream???
yeah weird dream???
National Championship National Emergency The Blood Red Moon MLK Imagine...
i wanted to see if anjari (love letters to yahweh) had a take on the recent "maga wearing red cap racist teens and the veteran native american elder" as most people came to realize, REAL EYES REALIZE REAL LIES those boys actually did nothing wrong. nathan phillips lied about being a vietnam vet. ok..well my dad was in the marines during that time but was never shipped off to vietnam..he was a marine. what is nathan phillips miliatary background? nonetheless, later he admits he never stepped foot on vietnam. phillips singled out that boy, last name sandmann...im wondering..has this all been a setup, including the racist black israelites in the beginning. they singled out sandmann i think. sandman, mr. sandman, send me a dream. sleep sleep! now theyll sleep. is america asleep? or do we have eyes to see? what is it that they are hoping, cuz honey, illusions will fade and we can all see the truth! just like khloe kardashians hospital room when she was in labor, (yeah right!??) hon, that khloe did not give birth. it was all smoke and mirrors, i remember they did the mannequin challenge in the hospital room who does that? symbolizing movie sets. pshh get outta here. but watch this video by anjani really good videos! I knew him serving McDonalds (and wendys) had a hidden message!! I knew it! everything that happens has a hidden meaning...and i just watched a docunentary on the Fyre festival (busy phillips reminded me of fyre fest when she mentioned the fyre shows on hulu and netflix) ..all the supermodels and influencers were instagramming orange panels. ORANGE means sun worship, FIRE!
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Mtf (Male to Female) Vs Bio Female Comparison.
this one tries to show who she thinks are real females, but she says margot robbie is a deceiver. remember her in suicide squad, she was so thin but no hips...! I mean, where da hips????
Growing Up Supermodel: SuperTease | Premieres Aug. 15 at 10/9c | Lifetime
whut the heck...this is laughable, especially as older...those 'supermodels' mannn aint no true female! andrea shroder...is a PURE tranny. listen to the voice look at the face. man...i need to do a viddeo of this show. its on lifetime. im sick of watching the R. kelly show so i decided to watch this show. the daughters are models but they have nothing special about them...just because the parents are famous. ricky shroder...looks like a woman on hormones. this is all weird! and beverly peeles daugther, is such a tranny and so is she. WOWWWW
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Full video of what transpired regarding Catholic High students
I need to go to sleep. something about this whole situation seems setup. At first when i saw that short clip, yes, i saw those kids as ignorant and disrespectful, but this video (around 1:11 mins)...shows what happened before. prior, a black, radically racist prostesters were harassing these kids, (probably because they were wearing MAGA caps, and part of a catholic high school)..calling them school shooters and crackers. they're kids. they're teenagers. really. and the drum group approached them, (to diffuse the situation) . Those students were really not doing anything wrong...one of the first few comments on this video sums it up pretty well. racism should not exist, period. that group was being highly racist to those students. native americans believe this country should not have no walls, this is a free country, but....its not that simple. anyways, i feel this was all a setup, and illusions of course. watch, the chiefs will win the superbowl tho...(are they still in the running?) lol i got to go to bed tho...ughh
Monday, January 21, 2019
Shout Out to MaXY X Transvestigations
hahaha CLAP CLAP CLAP wtf is this? someone did a shout-out vid to my channel!!!?? WOOT WOOT!! and yes, tomorrow im gonna make another video. REAL WOMAN! SAMANTHA BROWN she is a host i seen her on pluto tv. she is a true female!! OMG im dying with laughter right now!! awesome!
i asked my kee, marble...lets start ya
hey kiko, hows it like yo when you cant even speako? im such a geek oh, and also such a ho ho HO! nah just kiddin, i aint even ribbin. im doing this staff like freestyle jibbin...jabbin, i aint havin...this accord on top of my world, spinning me up and wanna be hurled out like a pearl doubt, deep down in the sea with me missin out on kee..
its a rabbit a habit, follow your map its a ploy, a decoy...its a traged..a tragedy once again...kee..how it be, not able to communicate or talk like me? are you stuck in a prison or in a muck never risen???
((last night shannan was .. i forget the term she used. not freestyle but i was able too even tho its cringey, its a sin see? just forget about me, bee????
boyeee MC PEE PANTS IN DA HOUSE!!!
hey kiko, hows it like yo when you cant even speako? im such a geek oh, and also such a ho ho HO! nah just kiddin, i aint even ribbin. im doing this staff like freestyle jibbin...jabbin, i aint havin...this accord on top of my world, spinning me up and wanna be hurled out like a pearl doubt, deep down in the sea with me missin out on kee..
its a rabbit a habit, follow your map its a ploy, a decoy...its a traged..a tragedy once again...kee..how it be, not able to communicate or talk like me? are you stuck in a prison or in a muck never risen???
((last night shannan was .. i forget the term she used. not freestyle but i was able too even tho its cringey, its a sin see? just forget about me, bee????
boyeee MC PEE PANTS IN DA HOUSE!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2019
CHEAP VS EXPENSIVE MARKERS- Do You Need Expensive Supplies to Make Good ...
i found her on instagram and then i just looked for her on youtube. she is a really good artist and i want to have her inspire me to find the type of art supplies she uses. i would like to get her markers and colored pencils etc and really start working on my drawings. i need a studio (basement at mikes house), and an office (i will have my own office)...in fact, the whole upstairs will be mine and mike will be downstairs but i will use the laundry side of the basement as a studio as well where i can draw and paint and create! i cant wait!
i cant wait to create! paint and escape, disappear in a state of great concentrate of visions, missions and instruments of art, and to start, accomplish and to conquest and strive for the best, the test, the messed up accolades made akin to kanye west!
i cant wait to create! paint and escape, disappear in a state of great concentrate of visions, missions and instruments of art, and to start, accomplish and to conquest and strive for the best, the test, the messed up accolades made akin to kanye west!
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
i think i am going to write a 'confessions of a walmart worker'...just a quick read about working at walmart and all the things that went down lol. i also need to write more, ill be moving back in with mike soon. i will have the upstairs and he will have the downstairs (until we find a house to move into)..but i will have an office! the bedroom will be much bigger too. it will be nice! cant wait! ((i will put my own touch of course))..it will be nice to live with him again. although yes i will miss my cozy little house here. i want to start doing more artwork as well, and join a gym. perhaps i can join LA Fitness again? I love that place!!!i also want to stop drinking, because its really annoying, and costly, and its not fun anymore. im 40 years old now, ya know? there are other things to start focusing on. like my writing and fitness and being healthy and saving money. plus i want a kid and i cant be drinking in front of my child. so yeahh bye!
Monday, January 14, 2019
I just finished watching You, on netflix! The main girl, who is a cross between Juliette Lewis and Christina Applegate, is a writer...her friends name is Peach. This past week I have had many Peach synchronicities.
SPOILERS!! do not continue to read if you intend on watching this show on netflix!!! its a good show!
from the preview, (which drew me in), i just KNEW ..well, originally, i had thought ...that. he was ALWAYS pre-determining his next move!
i just jotted down a few key words while watching the last 2 eps tho..
"Everything I did, (or do), I did for you!"-reminds me of LABYRINTH when david bowie said this to sarah. (also bryan adams song)
Mr. Miyagi! Mr. Miyagi, karate kid. was he talked about in this show before??? He was, in the Escape Room movie..but...it was weird because Mr. Miyagi is made out to be a handler. The main character even looked like ralph macchios character in the karate kid. The character, Joe, also made facial expressions, that of James Franco.
books shown were Mr. Jekyl and Dr. Hyde...
"Deep as Poison"..this phrase was uttered. I jotted it down.
"A code" - this was also said...
"Selfish"...I told mike, yeah, im selfish! We SHOULD BE!?? right? we should do what makes us happy?? do what thou wilt? kidding...but also, mike likes cobra kai, and the karate kid..
i also noticed the stores next to his book store, 'sushi' and gracies liquor" i just mentioned how gracie, the old lady but shes so cool, shes a cashier at walmart. she just fell, and had to be shipped off to the ER. also, sushi...cuz. well, who doesnt love sushi? mike and i just had some!
but all in all, i feel like...shows like this, and saw, the hunger games...
escape room etc...it is atttempting to show torture, trauma and the likes, into making someone...someone who is stripped of all ego, someone who is stored away, hurt, abused, etc...how they let go and go into primal mode. this is showing MK ULTRA programming! also, truth hidden..such as sexual abuse, even murder. which seems and deemed normal whilst in survival mode.
and then, using these revelations to write about. maybe all these little nuances/synchronicities/coincidences/hidden messages was meant to make me (and others) sort of tap into a hidden dungeon of our minds...but really..how is this put to use???
SPOILERS!! do not continue to read if you intend on watching this show on netflix!!! its a good show!
from the preview, (which drew me in), i just KNEW ..well, originally, i had thought ...that. he was ALWAYS pre-determining his next move!
i just jotted down a few key words while watching the last 2 eps tho..
"Everything I did, (or do), I did for you!"-reminds me of LABYRINTH when david bowie said this to sarah. (also bryan adams song)
Mr. Miyagi! Mr. Miyagi, karate kid. was he talked about in this show before??? He was, in the Escape Room movie..but...it was weird because Mr. Miyagi is made out to be a handler. The main character even looked like ralph macchios character in the karate kid. The character, Joe, also made facial expressions, that of James Franco.
books shown were Mr. Jekyl and Dr. Hyde...
"Deep as Poison"..this phrase was uttered. I jotted it down.
"A code" - this was also said...
"Selfish"...I told mike, yeah, im selfish! We SHOULD BE!?? right? we should do what makes us happy?? do what thou wilt? kidding...but also, mike likes cobra kai, and the karate kid..
i also noticed the stores next to his book store, 'sushi' and gracies liquor" i just mentioned how gracie, the old lady but shes so cool, shes a cashier at walmart. she just fell, and had to be shipped off to the ER. also, sushi...cuz. well, who doesnt love sushi? mike and i just had some!
but all in all, i feel like...shows like this, and saw, the hunger games...
escape room etc...it is atttempting to show torture, trauma and the likes, into making someone...someone who is stripped of all ego, someone who is stored away, hurt, abused, etc...how they let go and go into primal mode. this is showing MK ULTRA programming! also, truth hidden..such as sexual abuse, even murder. which seems and deemed normal whilst in survival mode.
and then, using these revelations to write about. maybe all these little nuances/synchronicities/coincidences/hidden messages was meant to make me (and others) sort of tap into a hidden dungeon of our minds...but really..how is this put to use???
i forgot to say, i keep seeing lights. i want to make a font using my cursive handwriting. i know there is a way to do it...
but yeah, i am in bed and i saw a glimpse of flashing blue lights to the left of me on the futon. just now, i saw a white light flashing and reflecting on the top part of my glasses.
weird..
but yeah, i am in bed and i saw a glimpse of flashing blue lights to the left of me on the futon. just now, i saw a white light flashing and reflecting on the top part of my glasses.
weird..
apple juice and peaches
mike came over and brought mcdonalds breakfast. he said they had no orange juice so they gave him three apple juice boxes.
we were watching abandoned buildings on youtube, and the guy is in an old restaurant, and then he shows APPLE JUICE BOXES!!!
so i thought about peaches, well, because moss was telling me something about a party..oh he said he was talking to his friend who is at the party he is at. his friend is from georgia, so he told me he was telling him about fishcenter. moss is weird because someone will say something and it will make moss think about something totally not related, well, it is, but not related to their parlaying message, and in doing so, he strays away from their message, but since he thinks it is mosses world (well, to him it is!) he feels the need to share something that struck moss and his moss mind.
i told him, 'of course you related georgia to fishcenter. if it were me, i would relate georgia to...peaches!?? PEACHES!! i was getting syncs about peaches.
and its true. the peach/peaches salinger thing on YOU, and my dog peaches. just now, (while watching a MAC makeup tutorial..) (((10 years ago, or so, i reached into my old myspace album ((((i was gonna do the challenge on fb but decided NOT TOO but i did it on instagram..i feel insta is more forgiving than judgy fb))) more on that tomorrow tho..and i saw a pic where i had a MAC artist to my makeup really good. so i decided to check out MAC tutorials, ((((since i can order up some new makeup with my ULTA card))))...and the girl chose the blush named PEACHES!!!
mike came over and brought mcdonalds breakfast. he said they had no orange juice so they gave him three apple juice boxes.
we were watching abandoned buildings on youtube, and the guy is in an old restaurant, and then he shows APPLE JUICE BOXES!!!
so i thought about peaches, well, because moss was telling me something about a party..oh he said he was talking to his friend who is at the party he is at. his friend is from georgia, so he told me he was telling him about fishcenter. moss is weird because someone will say something and it will make moss think about something totally not related, well, it is, but not related to their parlaying message, and in doing so, he strays away from their message, but since he thinks it is mosses world (well, to him it is!) he feels the need to share something that struck moss and his moss mind.
i told him, 'of course you related georgia to fishcenter. if it were me, i would relate georgia to...peaches!?? PEACHES!! i was getting syncs about peaches.
and its true. the peach/peaches salinger thing on YOU, and my dog peaches. just now, (while watching a MAC makeup tutorial..) (((10 years ago, or so, i reached into my old myspace album ((((i was gonna do the challenge on fb but decided NOT TOO but i did it on instagram..i feel insta is more forgiving than judgy fb))) more on that tomorrow tho..and i saw a pic where i had a MAC artist to my makeup really good. so i decided to check out MAC tutorials, ((((since i can order up some new makeup with my ULTA card))))...and the girl chose the blush named PEACHES!!!
sunday!
i know this might , will, soun icky and gross, but i dont care no icky and grozz!! so anyways, i kind of like having a heavy period again!!! like, i used to get really heavy periods where i had to wear thick pads with a tampon, (i mean, what girls just wear a tampon?? especially on the first day...women be acting like they just wear a tampon and thats it um NOOOO that shit WILL seep right through just a tampon..).for real tho! i mean, on my last few days then yeah, but not the second day (first day is always slow), its the second day that is heavy. when i started taking birth control, my period became very light and short, which is nice, yes, but since i stopped taking b.c., its back to heavy but I like it because it means that my body is still good and im still releasing eggs and all that. YAY FOR RELEASING EGGS!!!
uh what else??? ahh ill post it tomorrow. its late and i need to go to sleep
uh what else??? ahh ill post it tomorrow. its late and i need to go to sleep
Sunday, January 13, 2019
so earlier today, at work, i was thinking of movies id like to see. at work, someone...i heard some lady she kept saying, "nadia"...because i started thinking about the american pie movies and nadia was played by..that actress...i forget her name now...shannon elizabeth..it also made me think of 13 ghosts, that she was in. i wanted to watch 13 ghosts, and the same people also made the house on haunted hill (the remake), i also like that movie too..
oh my gosh, so this escape movie, (i didnt even know it was out in the theater), reminded me of a few movies.
house on haunted hill
saw movies
cube movies
the belko experiment
do they really do this? signs point to YES
but..im wondering now, why exactly, was i hearing some woman saying, "nadia, nadia' at work???
poor gracie fell down at work today.
oh my gosh, so this escape movie, (i didnt even know it was out in the theater), reminded me of a few movies.
house on haunted hill
saw movies
cube movies
the belko experiment
do they really do this? signs point to YES
but..im wondering now, why exactly, was i hearing some woman saying, "nadia, nadia' at work???
poor gracie fell down at work today.
oh yes in the movie was also the 8ball lounge 8 is the 8 points of saturn...im gonna have to buy this movie when its out.
so mike wanted to go ICE SKATING TONIGHT
synchronicity, in the cold room, the one guy said, this is like ICE SKATING!!!
(there were masonic points in the first/last roon too, the checkerboard and the pillars, even the BLUE monarch or butterflies, not monarch, but butterflies.) each person had sufferedd trauma.
the rooms never let them relax..
so mike wanted to go ICE SKATING TONIGHT
synchronicity, in the cold room, the one guy said, this is like ICE SKATING!!!
(there were masonic points in the first/last roon too, the checkerboard and the pillars, even the BLUE monarch or butterflies, not monarch, but butterflies.) each person had sufferedd trauma.
the rooms never let them relax..
who are the people who are watching those getting tortured tho? WHOOO!?? (like the OWL says WINK!) the owl also winks, doesnt it?
it is US! ITS US WE ARE THE ONES WHO WATCH just like we watched the character in the bandersnatch show so does that mean everytime we watch a movie we are giving in to the rituals??
(just thoughts i have whilst )...
it is US! ITS US WE ARE THE ONES WHO WATCH just like we watched the character in the bandersnatch show so does that mean everytime we watch a movie we are giving in to the rituals??
(just thoughts i have whilst )...
You
when i was arguing with mike at applebees tonight (not bickering but being stern with him)..i heard a kid say YOU! made me think of the show YOU and the rihanna song you you you! (which happens to be on everytime i film a place with moss, like new orleans and atlantic city, that song by her seems to be always playing lol)..
that show is so creepy! the guy got really creepy manny miles-esque ( i follow manny miles on instagram and he says and thinks some really weird stuff. i was gonna screencap and post here a few times but never did...ehh whatever). i think the actor tapped into the creep factor that that manny miles has...but it really is a good show!
something odd tho, he was trying to find out the girls password for her laptop, her best friends name is peach. well her other friend revealed that the character that he was obsessed with, she had a bichon frise. it was just odd because my bichon frise when i was younger, (the family dog), her name was peaches. the guy always called peach peaches in the show..
anyways...hey this is a good article about illuminati symbolism (i just put illuminati to bring up info, but the movie, they used a logo so basically, its all working together including the police i feel they DO target people they DO sacrifice people and they DO make it seem like something else. they also promised the winner 10,000.00 i wont spoil the movie. thats not really a lot of money tho, 10,000.00 but i always thought to myself, i just wish i can have 10,000.00...in my bank account. or to spend or do what i wish with it. 10,000.00...you know? thats not really alot of money but to someone like me it is. it would be nice. but im not trying to do an escape room or weird ritual stuff to get that kind of money HA!! oops, well heres that link
https://illuminatiwatcher.com/escape-room-film-symbolism-of-the-occult/
that show is so creepy! the guy got really creepy manny miles-esque ( i follow manny miles on instagram and he says and thinks some really weird stuff. i was gonna screencap and post here a few times but never did...ehh whatever). i think the actor tapped into the creep factor that that manny miles has...but it really is a good show!
something odd tho, he was trying to find out the girls password for her laptop, her best friends name is peach. well her other friend revealed that the character that he was obsessed with, she had a bichon frise. it was just odd because my bichon frise when i was younger, (the family dog), her name was peaches. the guy always called peach peaches in the show..
anyways...hey this is a good article about illuminati symbolism (i just put illuminati to bring up info, but the movie, they used a logo so basically, its all working together including the police i feel they DO target people they DO sacrifice people and they DO make it seem like something else. they also promised the winner 10,000.00 i wont spoil the movie. thats not really a lot of money tho, 10,000.00 but i always thought to myself, i just wish i can have 10,000.00...in my bank account. or to spend or do what i wish with it. 10,000.00...you know? thats not really alot of money but to someone like me it is. it would be nice. but im not trying to do an escape room or weird ritual stuff to get that kind of money HA!! oops, well heres that link
https://illuminatiwatcher.com/escape-room-film-symbolism-of-the-occult/
movie and dinner
not dinner and a movie. nope. so i suggested to mike we go see a movie tonight. i really wanted to see the movie, "escape room"...so we went. mike has a medical condition where he just falls asleep. he falls asleep at the kitchen table and hits his head, or he somehow wakes up in the bathtub, he sleepwalks (he told me all this...). I told him he has to go to the sleep doctor. He has a deviated septum. Of course, I get upset at him when he falls asleep in the damn movie theater. Then he gets upset at me. I am being patient however, but still, it makes ME feel like I am a senior citizen. I just wish he can stay awake and enjoy movies with me. It feels incredibly lonely when we can't even connect via a movie. I am very into synchronicities and hidden symbols and codes and code cracking etc, so this movie was my type of movie. Of course, the movie was similar to Cube and the Saw movies, or any other movie where a group of people wake up and cannot figure out how they got there or how to get out. Escape Room also featured, a CUBE! I feel this is significant, but I will get back to that later. In one of the rooms..SPOILER ALERT, they were set to get POISONED...(carbon monoxide)...which I was like, 'poison huh?" ((I don't really look too much into hearing poison anymore. I mean, I'm not thinking...it was for me. Well, I do, but I do not get these hidden messages anymore, maybe because I don't have tv?? Well, I do have Roku and Netflix and prime...perhaps I am just getting old and boring, and they don't want to waste energy on me anymore..however, the movie..oh the movie showed that they wasted ALOT of energy on each individual and each room. Anyways, the underlying mesages were there. Anagrams, clues, hints etc. I wonder if they (sorry, too lazy to keep italicizing THEY)..actually do these sort of 'the most dangerous game' scenarios, where a group of elites get their entertainment fix via watching a group of sorry saps running away from death's grips, to be hunted as rabbits, and the final outcome being a sacrifice. Then they will just make up how they died. It's an umbrella society...hidden. Sport...the sport of hunter vs hunted. Watched, being watched. Scenarios being done on purpose. The cube represents Saturn, or Set...satan...etc. the cube...hellraiser's cube, info is out there..
i like talking about things like this, even tho people like mike might watch a movie like this and be like, 'that was stupid', which is so frustrating for me because i enjoy talking about a movie. if i watch a movie that i feel has hidden messages or whatever, i will leave the movie theater and i feel as if i am still wrapped in a veil of wonder. I will feel like I have all kinds of cosmic clues whispering at me or something...the girl in the movie started acting crazy and almost schizophrenic and it made me think..I can relate!? no but for real, and then we went to applebees and mike and i got into an argument. i saw through the argument however. i saw through the static of my surroundings. we were sitting at a table, with restaurant sounds, high school kids a chatter on a saturday night out at applebees, wearing their class of 2019 jackets, and mike and i. and i was making a point and arguing rather loud, not shouting or getting out of hand, but permeating my voice so it would not waft over to other tables, and if it did, i kept my tone and cantor in a calming manner so that others would just not notice the words i was boldly speaking. I made my eye contact serious, staring mike deep in his eyes, remaining calm but explaining to him that i am not going to put up with his behaviour towards me. we are good now dont worry! i have to put him in his place tho, and i cant do it by raising my voice to a screech , i just cant. at one point, because he kept saying to me, 'you don't know what you did?" (He asks me things in this way where it is demeaning and belittling and trying to mess me up and confuse me, its this mind game process or something..(oh that movie was full of mind games. i mean, on the superficial level, yeah its horror movie fluff...its the same theme different title)..i told mike, "what? i nudged you and said WAKE UP!" as soon as i said that, i felt weird. i told mike, you know, the term WAKE UP is like a totem. its like that high pitched ring you will hear when the world beyon this world is trying to get your attention. this world is the illusion. the truth is hidden underneath this shroud or veil, that veil you may feel after leaving a movie..it is a movie!? RIGHT? everything is a movie! thats it!! bingo! watson! etc etc etc
i dont know....whatever. heres something i read from another synchronicity group i find interesting. i never heard or knew this richest bezos/besos/kisses...the kiss etc even existed,,sorry, im not in that world im just in a simple world. im not rich or famous or influential or anything, i want to be creative tho! i have so many ideas! story ideas, fashion ideas, crafts and art etc...
but this was a coded message. the article even states that their behaviour was uncalled for. um, because it was SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! they were SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! besos and kisses/making out!
heres a link to the black cube:
https://www.nicholson1968.com/nicholson1968s-post/saturn-worshipthe-black-cube
i like talking about things like this, even tho people like mike might watch a movie like this and be like, 'that was stupid', which is so frustrating for me because i enjoy talking about a movie. if i watch a movie that i feel has hidden messages or whatever, i will leave the movie theater and i feel as if i am still wrapped in a veil of wonder. I will feel like I have all kinds of cosmic clues whispering at me or something...the girl in the movie started acting crazy and almost schizophrenic and it made me think..I can relate!? no but for real, and then we went to applebees and mike and i got into an argument. i saw through the argument however. i saw through the static of my surroundings. we were sitting at a table, with restaurant sounds, high school kids a chatter on a saturday night out at applebees, wearing their class of 2019 jackets, and mike and i. and i was making a point and arguing rather loud, not shouting or getting out of hand, but permeating my voice so it would not waft over to other tables, and if it did, i kept my tone and cantor in a calming manner so that others would just not notice the words i was boldly speaking. I made my eye contact serious, staring mike deep in his eyes, remaining calm but explaining to him that i am not going to put up with his behaviour towards me. we are good now dont worry! i have to put him in his place tho, and i cant do it by raising my voice to a screech , i just cant. at one point, because he kept saying to me, 'you don't know what you did?" (He asks me things in this way where it is demeaning and belittling and trying to mess me up and confuse me, its this mind game process or something..(oh that movie was full of mind games. i mean, on the superficial level, yeah its horror movie fluff...its the same theme different title)..i told mike, "what? i nudged you and said WAKE UP!" as soon as i said that, i felt weird. i told mike, you know, the term WAKE UP is like a totem. its like that high pitched ring you will hear when the world beyon this world is trying to get your attention. this world is the illusion. the truth is hidden underneath this shroud or veil, that veil you may feel after leaving a movie..it is a movie!? RIGHT? everything is a movie! thats it!! bingo! watson! etc etc etc
i dont know....whatever. heres something i read from another synchronicity group i find interesting. i never heard or knew this richest bezos/besos/kisses...the kiss etc even existed,,sorry, im not in that world im just in a simple world. im not rich or famous or influential or anything, i want to be creative tho! i have so many ideas! story ideas, fashion ideas, crafts and art etc...
but this was a coded message. the article even states that their behaviour was uncalled for. um, because it was SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! they were SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! besos and kisses/making out!
Bezos, the richest man in the world (aka the 'KING' of the world), caught making out with his lover at FELIX restaurant.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Jeff-Bezos-lover-reportedly-l…
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Jeff-Bezos-lover-reportedly-l…
"King Felix" is the subliminal coded two-word cypher sent out over the TV airwaves in Philip K. Dick's novel Valis.
'The Empire never ended,' but in 1974 a cypher was sent out as a signal that the Age of Iron was over; the cypher consisted of two words: KING FELIX, which refers to the Happy (or Rightful) King."
"The two-word cypher signal KING FELIX was not intended fro human beings but for the descendants of Ikhnaton, the three-eyed race which, in secret, exists with us."
Dick believed that, "The person referred to by the two-word cypher KING FELIX is the fifth Savior who... VALIS had said, was either already born or would soon be."
heres a link to the black cube:
https://www.nicholson1968.com/nicholson1968s-post/saturn-worshipthe-black-cube
Friday, January 11, 2019
Mirrored MrE FTM's Can Be Hard To Spot!
im pretty sure i have watched this before, but it does show females who transistioned and gosh damnet, they look like daemons, i mean, damons. matt damons..or demons...or all of the above!!??! anyways, we are so used to seeing these male celebs as men because we have been conditioned too, and plus well, they say they are men. never have they admitted, (well said,) yes, we are transgenders! so yeah, we believe these celebrities are real men.....however, again, these celebs resemble ftms and also, they have been stopped from puberty in the natural way and raised as males since babies...they are then iconized (after sodomized)..fluently. i know it all sounds ridiculous...but...idk hollywood is so weird. it is.
Thursday, January 10, 2019
Bam Margera Presents Castle Bam Bowl Party | Official Recap Video
theres more footage ha! kind of reminds me of my party out in the woods days. those were fun days. that guy AJ had a condo with a huge fireplace and hot tub and pool table and roommates and everyone would party there. they did not care about the condition of the main rooms and the rugs were always covered in cigarette stains and there was always beer everywhere. i can remember the smell of the kerosene (or gasoline idk) he had to fire up to let a steady blast of heat in, they didnt pay for heat. it was a party every weekend and those people reminded me of people from his show, like skaters and musicians and what not...
CASTLE BAM EXTRAVAGANZA!!!! BAM MARGERA OPEN HOUSE PARTY 12/13/18
i kept seeing bam talking about this big skater party at castle bam (back in december) lol. i was kind of curious but i didnt go. he was letting everyone in. seemed like it would of been fun tho SHRUGSSSSS
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
i should be going to sleep, but ahh whatevers. so this is really weird. how they do in vitro fertilization. so, they can freeze these fertilized eggs for years. imagine tho ..that means..the frozen fertilzed egg already holds the construct and codes for an actual human...so what would their true birthday even be? suppose they store a fertilized egg for 10 years before deciding to implant a surrogate with it...that child would of been robbed by 10 years!?? genetic science (or whatever its called) is so weird..i wish i still talked to jay he can explain how they can actually go and take away a chromosome. i mean, it is so easily explained if people would just research and read and try to make sense of it. there must be a way that they can subtract an x chromosome or add a y chromosome or whatever...i mean, possibly even cloning. yeah i never really looked into clones in hollywood...but..you never know they cloned animals..so im sure these frankensteins did it with humans i mean the ivf kids were man made , not done the normal way. but they still have souls, dont they?
i mean, is that soul encapsulated in a sort of limbo purgatory...
i mean, is that soul encapsulated in a sort of limbo purgatory...
stacy dash is a man
oh my gosh this guy is funny tho. greased up man, wooden leg...but for real. its so weird and easy to spot hidden transgenders anymore. listen, i am a real woman and my friends are real women. we have small, delicate features. small skull, real curves. notice how they dont have real curves, and if so, its just a fat transfer to the buttocks or thighs or brazilian butt lift..its not real female hips or curves. this is out of hand. im just WAITING for one of them to be revealed as a transgender. and not some unknown...no. this has to be SHOCKING!! i mean...shaking my head...
birdbox
Birdbox sounds like "Birdman" a movie that won Oscars and what not a few years back. I first heard about it from memes and people posting #birdbox etc on fb and what not.
Reminds me of a stephen king movie with its cast of oddball characters, (including the old crazy lady)..sandra bullock and her manly features.
Reminded me of 'A quiet place", and the happening. even the walking dead. (there was a rick in the movie)...played by that character actor who has been in many movies with the shifty eyes.
blindfold binding, (blindfolded kid in the bandersnatch movie as well)...
it wasn't even that great...
i dont know...SHRUGS
Reminds me of a stephen king movie with its cast of oddball characters, (including the old crazy lady)..sandra bullock and her manly features.
Reminded me of 'A quiet place", and the happening. even the walking dead. (there was a rick in the movie)...played by that character actor who has been in many movies with the shifty eyes.
blindfold binding, (blindfolded kid in the bandersnatch movie as well)...
it wasn't even that great...
i dont know...SHRUGS
Monday, January 7, 2019
cree life
this is a video from my mothers cousin (im not really sure..my dad sent me the link)..edit this is not cree life. im watching now. diamond. that is my grandmothers christian name OH YEAH SYNC!! another sync! man they happen all the time. mike and i were in my bed watching a movie. mike says MARBLE is marbles christian name (Cuz i said to call her Sir Scruffles)..mike says MARBLE is her christian name. in the movie we chose to watch, it says, 'this is my God Given name.." SANC!!
Yes! Cheif Billy Diamond is my mothers cousin!
Yes! Cheif Billy Diamond is my mothers cousin!
georges movie
so my hollywood friend, "hollywood george", wrote and directed this short film. he used my name, "Lori"..although...he should of just got me a part in the film ya know? same as my fashion designer friend jonathen, he COULD OF used me as a model..
grrrr
but yeah heres the link:
https://www.copsorrobbers.tv/
grrrr
but yeah heres the link:
https://www.copsorrobbers.tv/
i guess someone thanked satan last night at the golden globes. anyways, a few things i have been thinking about...and it happened.
i was at work and i was thinking of an old janet jackson song...well then, the next song on walmart radio was an old janet jackson song. after that a lady came through my line she had some shampoos. i thought to myself, 'people never buy the shampoo/conditioner i use..ELVIVE (it makes it easy to brush my hair after i take a shower)..well, that lady...those particular shampoos were hidden on the belt. a guy who works at walmart came through my line. he seemed chipper and friendly, (unlike most of the guys who work at walmart and who are in other departments)...there is one guy, tyler. hes really friendly and always saying hi to all the ladies. hes 19 but hes really outgoing and friendly. i wondered about how he looks outside of work, (he normally wears bowties)..so im at the register, all of a sudden i hear, "Hi Lori!" It was tyler, and he was wearing normal clothes. he came to walmart on his day off.
so those were just things i think about and it happened. other weird things happen to, i dont remember if i posted it or what. oh well
i was at work and i was thinking of an old janet jackson song...well then, the next song on walmart radio was an old janet jackson song. after that a lady came through my line she had some shampoos. i thought to myself, 'people never buy the shampoo/conditioner i use..ELVIVE (it makes it easy to brush my hair after i take a shower)..well, that lady...those particular shampoos were hidden on the belt. a guy who works at walmart came through my line. he seemed chipper and friendly, (unlike most of the guys who work at walmart and who are in other departments)...there is one guy, tyler. hes really friendly and always saying hi to all the ladies. hes 19 but hes really outgoing and friendly. i wondered about how he looks outside of work, (he normally wears bowties)..so im at the register, all of a sudden i hear, "Hi Lori!" It was tyler, and he was wearing normal clothes. he came to walmart on his day off.
so those were just things i think about and it happened. other weird things happen to, i dont remember if i posted it or what. oh well
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Twerker Damn Near Breaks Her Neck For 25K!! | #CityGirls25kTwerkChallenge
this is 'headtop' she didnt die tho its just one of her moves..
i want to make a memey meme
when other instagram models twerk they are like WOW The buttcheeks synchronize ..but when I TRY TO TWERK!! i look so odd!! im going to film myself attempting to twerk and put it after i see ''headtop' and others twerking. youtube headtop and that masonic violin player and his twerkers. by far, i have no clue on how to twerk i just look like a moron with no ass! HA!
when other instagram models twerk they are like WOW The buttcheeks synchronize ..but when I TRY TO TWERK!! i look so odd!! im going to film myself attempting to twerk and put it after i see ''headtop' and others twerking. youtube headtop and that masonic violin player and his twerkers. by far, i have no clue on how to twerk i just look like a moron with no ass! HA!
Friday, January 4, 2019
a few months ago, LAST YEAR sometime, moss posted an article about a chinese guy who died from complications of putting an eel up his butt. this is not the first time an asian man has did this. a few years ago, someone did this to a drunk man as a joke. well, RECENTLY another chinese guy did this!?? its an old fashioned folk remedy or something, it cures constipation. um..DA FUCK? so i sent moss the link. he says, "i saw that". i tell him, "no this is a new one." he says, "I posted that."
NO MOSS what the hell? why is he such an idiot sometimes?? THIS ONE IS FROM THIS YEAR!???
he is saying he posted that article, same one, about 2 months ago. I remember moss posting an article with video footage of another asian men playing a joke on a passed out drunk dude with VIDEO FOOTAGE! and the guy passed out and later died. how many times has moss posted about this matter? this fecal matter!??
and why do these asian men keep doing this??? i mean, wtf??
NO MOSS what the hell? why is he such an idiot sometimes?? THIS ONE IS FROM THIS YEAR!???
he is saying he posted that article, same one, about 2 months ago. I remember moss posting an article with video footage of another asian men playing a joke on a passed out drunk dude with VIDEO FOOTAGE! and the guy passed out and later died. how many times has moss posted about this matter? this fecal matter!??
and why do these asian men keep doing this??? i mean, wtf??
Thursday, January 3, 2019
changing the sex of an embyro
they can change the sex...if the original dna was the X chromosome they will take out a chromosome so it will be Y...or vice versa..i have questions. so, this is already a fertilized embryo, meaning...the original sex was already determined, but no...the geneticist will then extract cells, changing it. so if this was originally supposed to be a male, they will take out the cells to make it a female...yes, more questions. this makes it look like they pick out all the male ones and female but this is saying it will not affect the characteristics...etc 'the genome of the entire person'...hmmmm. methinks. (i hate that term lol) but yeah..interesting.
IVF/PGD technique[edit]
After ovarian stimulation, multiple eggs are removed from the mother. The eggs are fertilized in the laboratory using the father's sperm in a technique called in vitro fertilization (IVF). "In vitro" is Latin for "within glass". Fertilized eggs are called embryos. As the embryos develop through mitosis, they are separated by sex. Embryos of the desired gender are implanted back in the mother's uterus.
Prior to fertilization with IVF, the fertilized eggs can be genetically biopsied with preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) to increase fertilization success.[23] Once an embryo grows to a 6-8 cell size, a small laser incision in the egg membrane (zona pellucida) allows safe removal of one of the cells.[24] Every cell in the embryo contains an identical copy of the genome of the entire person. Removal of one of these cells does not harm the developing embryo.[25] A Geneticist then studies the chromosomes in the extracted cells for genetic defects and for a definite analysis of the embryo’s gender.[26]Embryos of the desired sex and with acceptable genetics are then placed back into the mother.
The IVF/PGD technique is favored over the Ericsson method because of the stricter control of the offspring gender in the laboratory. Since only embryos of the desired sex are transferred to the mother, IVF/PGD avoids the small likelihood present in the Ericsson method of an undesired sperm fertilizing the egg. Gender selection success rates for IVF/PGD are very high. The technique is recommended for couples who will not accept a child of the undesired gender.[27][28]
Timing methods
I am going to get a traceable light box, then I am going to use images of female celebrities and draw out their underlying skeletons. I will then use real women and draw out their skeletons, just to see the difference! But for real tho, I wish I can be a photographer and photograph real women of course I can just find images on modelmayhem and omp, (i do not use omp anymore tho)...just to show THE. DIFFERENCES! between real women models (not famous) and the famous reason why, someone just posted bella hadid being skinny shamed on fb i felt like saying, well, shes a man so...
Shadows that dance to a glance
Late one night, awash in the glow of nothing but the screen of my laptop, I felt my bladder needed to be relieved. I got up to use the bathroom, careful not to stare too deep into the other side of the mirror, careful to avoid that black matter of beyond the looking glass abyss. The only light on was a strand of Christmas lights, in which it made shadows dance amongst my face.
It took one glance to see something wrong. I tried to not look too deeply, but there it was.
I have a Marilyn Monroe picture which is on top of a little table in the hallway. I briefly glanced the reflection in the mirror. I gasped, and tried to convince myself it was nothing, but I saw it. The image seared itself into the very depths of my mind, as I had to scurry past it to get back to my room and in my bed.
The image I had seen in my mirror was in fact, Marilyn Monroe, head thrown back, mouth agape in a fit of a lauging grin, the usual MM depiction seen everywhere. However, in just a short second, her eyes turned pit black, amd the open mouthed laugh of a smile upturned slowly into an evil sort of grin. I dared not look any longer, because I simply convinced myself that my eyes were just playing tricks on me.
Shadows that dance to a glance. That is what it was. Living in one moment of beyond the looking glass abyss, do not look and you will miss...but it is there. It will always be there.
by Lulafawn
It took one glance to see something wrong. I tried to not look too deeply, but there it was.
I have a Marilyn Monroe picture which is on top of a little table in the hallway. I briefly glanced the reflection in the mirror. I gasped, and tried to convince myself it was nothing, but I saw it. The image seared itself into the very depths of my mind, as I had to scurry past it to get back to my room and in my bed.
The image I had seen in my mirror was in fact, Marilyn Monroe, head thrown back, mouth agape in a fit of a lauging grin, the usual MM depiction seen everywhere. However, in just a short second, her eyes turned pit black, amd the open mouthed laugh of a smile upturned slowly into an evil sort of grin. I dared not look any longer, because I simply convinced myself that my eyes were just playing tricks on me.
Shadows that dance to a glance. That is what it was. Living in one moment of beyond the looking glass abyss, do not look and you will miss...but it is there. It will always be there.
by Lulafawn
synchronicites and weird stuff
I have been getting synchronicities! It is late so I really do not want to write all about it, but I will, if not for my own records, actually. For example, I had told Mike, 'the next time you ask for the ring back, then SAYANARA!" (he got mad a few weeks ago and asked for the ring back..) the next day I kept hearing and reading SAYANARA. I heard it on the black mirror bandersnatch episode and I read it in Cosmo magazine. Hmm...
Something really weird happened the other night too. Marble woke me up with her whiskers, so I got up to feed her. I then went to the bathroom and washed my hands, well, I put my hands under the faucet and the water just turned on!? My sink *sync* has a handle that I have to pull up for the water to turn on. It just turned on, I did not pull the handle on!?? I felt like watching that episode triggered something, because one scene is very cool in the show, talking about no time, (I will try to find the words)..I went back to the couch where I was sleeping. I tried to sleep but I wanted to know what time it was. I turned around and I saw the squirrel pillow just resting on the armrest of the loveseat. (The couch is next to the loveseat, and where my head sleeps, it is next to the armrest and Marble usually sleeps on that armrest. Never do I just leave a pillow on the armrest tho. I keep it free for Marble.) My phone was also on the armrest, I usually have my phone in the nook of the sofa. I would of never just left a pillow on the armrest like that tho. I picked up my phone, and the screen just lit up, without me having to push in the button. I do realize that when there is a notification, it may just light up on its own, but when I looked, I saw a weird symbol, the symbol for when it has notifications turned off...so, it should not of turned on like that. A few minutes later, I picked up my phone to see what would happen, nothing happened. The screen did not light up as it did a few minutes prior.
In the bandersnatch show, he had no control over what the viewer wanted him to do. I was yawning, but all of a sudden I let out a weird shriek. I had no thoughts about making a noise so this sound startled me. I also felt one single strand of hair touching my face, as if that particular strand was static and decided to trace my face. It was really very weird.
It did not stop there tho. When I was at work, I went to put on sanitizer. The sanitizer was on top of a filing cabinet. All I did was squirt a bit of it on my hand. Next second, duck tape and a soda just flew off the filing cabinet. I did not knock into anything, nor did I move anything to make that happen. Even Julie, the csm was like, 'what was that noise?'
I posted it on FB and a girl I work with said that she went to the bathroom. In the bathroom there is one sink that does not work. Well, she said she was washing her hands and that particular sink that does not work just turned on. Sink/sync?
Oh and yes, I have had alot of syncs...well, I am too lazy right now to write them..I posted in my synchronicity group...
Hi everyone! So, I just watched Black Mirror, Bandersnatch on netflix. at one point, the boy is wearing blindfolds, it made me think of the other netflix hit, 'birdbox', where they were wearing blindfolds. It makes me wonder about being bound, or blinded by the truth. So..the other day, I told my fiancee, 'the next time you ask for the ring back, 'sayanara'..in the bandersnatch show, there is a demon, PAX, who makes an appearance. While scrolling through instagram during, I see a demon face, (I will post the pics soon..) pax is the thief of destiny. In the show, one scenario leads to the guy who says, "sayanara" (like what I told my fiancee)...the main character also pleads, "give me a sign! give me a sign!"...one point in the game someone says "wakey wakey". this is significant because there was another movie where they keep saying, "wake up" and the person wakes up to another scenario, i feel like hearing this phrase means something. For example, RIGHT NOW! (well, 5 mins ago), I hear "WAKE UP" i am watching this show on vice about drugs, (all the shows on that channel are about drugs tho..its just on..)..someone just said WAKE UP on it. Watch the show tho, there is one scene that explains several timelines, decisions and choices. It makes me think about my choices, such as choosing to accept my fiancees marriage proposal, but it kind of seems like I am getting signs to choose another path, although I never do or will. shrugs..EDIT also, i notice one of the albums to choose from are thompson twins, I HAVE THIS PARTICULAR ALBUM IN MY LIVING ROOM IT IS LEANED UP AGAINST THE MIRROR IN FACT! (black mirror, looking glass)...its weird...ya know?
Something really weird happened the other night too. Marble woke me up with her whiskers, so I got up to feed her. I then went to the bathroom and washed my hands, well, I put my hands under the faucet and the water just turned on!? My sink *sync* has a handle that I have to pull up for the water to turn on. It just turned on, I did not pull the handle on!?? I felt like watching that episode triggered something, because one scene is very cool in the show, talking about no time, (I will try to find the words)..I went back to the couch where I was sleeping. I tried to sleep but I wanted to know what time it was. I turned around and I saw the squirrel pillow just resting on the armrest of the loveseat. (The couch is next to the loveseat, and where my head sleeps, it is next to the armrest and Marble usually sleeps on that armrest. Never do I just leave a pillow on the armrest tho. I keep it free for Marble.) My phone was also on the armrest, I usually have my phone in the nook of the sofa. I would of never just left a pillow on the armrest like that tho. I picked up my phone, and the screen just lit up, without me having to push in the button. I do realize that when there is a notification, it may just light up on its own, but when I looked, I saw a weird symbol, the symbol for when it has notifications turned off...so, it should not of turned on like that. A few minutes later, I picked up my phone to see what would happen, nothing happened. The screen did not light up as it did a few minutes prior.
In the bandersnatch show, he had no control over what the viewer wanted him to do. I was yawning, but all of a sudden I let out a weird shriek. I had no thoughts about making a noise so this sound startled me. I also felt one single strand of hair touching my face, as if that particular strand was static and decided to trace my face. It was really very weird.
It did not stop there tho. When I was at work, I went to put on sanitizer. The sanitizer was on top of a filing cabinet. All I did was squirt a bit of it on my hand. Next second, duck tape and a soda just flew off the filing cabinet. I did not knock into anything, nor did I move anything to make that happen. Even Julie, the csm was like, 'what was that noise?'
I posted it on FB and a girl I work with said that she went to the bathroom. In the bathroom there is one sink that does not work. Well, she said she was washing her hands and that particular sink that does not work just turned on. Sink/sync?
Oh and yes, I have had alot of syncs...well, I am too lazy right now to write them..I posted in my synchronicity group...
Hi everyone! So, I just watched Black Mirror, Bandersnatch on netflix. at one point, the boy is wearing blindfolds, it made me think of the other netflix hit, 'birdbox', where they were wearing blindfolds. It makes me wonder about being bound, or blinded by the truth. So..the other day, I told my fiancee, 'the next time you ask for the ring back, 'sayanara'..in the bandersnatch show, there is a demon, PAX, who makes an appearance. While scrolling through instagram during, I see a demon face, (I will post the pics soon..) pax is the thief of destiny. In the show, one scenario leads to the guy who says, "sayanara" (like what I told my fiancee)...the main character also pleads, "give me a sign! give me a sign!"...one point in the game someone says "wakey wakey". this is significant because there was another movie where they keep saying, "wake up" and the person wakes up to another scenario, i feel like hearing this phrase means something. For example, RIGHT NOW! (well, 5 mins ago), I hear "WAKE UP" i am watching this show on vice about drugs, (all the shows on that channel are about drugs tho..its just on..)..someone just said WAKE UP on it. Watch the show tho, there is one scene that explains several timelines, decisions and choices. It makes me think about my choices, such as choosing to accept my fiancees marriage proposal, but it kind of seems like I am getting signs to choose another path, although I never do or will. shrugs..EDIT also, i notice one of the albums to choose from are thompson twins, I HAVE THIS PARTICULAR ALBUM IN MY LIVING ROOM IT IS LEANED UP AGAINST THE MIRROR IN FACT! (black mirror, looking glass)...its weird...ya know?
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
bandersnatch
i just left this comment on reddit thread about this episode. bandersnatch is also a creature that lives beyond the looking glass, alice in wonderland..
before i begin, CHOICES!! i will try to write more about this later. a few weeks ago, i was playing the game "Beyond two souls' where you make choices througout at one point, without thinking about what character to go too, i chose JAY and even saw on a street SIGN blue JAY etc (this was when i was trying to figure out whether i should ditch mike for good and date jay or just stay with mike) unfortunately, jay was a little too pushy with me and that just turned me off but if he wasnt like that well, who knows. doesnt matter anymore anyways, does it? but this episode of black mirror (just one ep now), reminded me of that, and the choices we make...however, the game concludes that the choices we choose do not really matter or something...idk..but yeah so...one of the decisions was which album to listen too. one of them was thompson twins. I HAVE THAT RECORD ALBUM IN FACT ITS LEANING UP AGAINST MY MIRROR!! (black mirror, looking glass), in my living room !???! (living room is the name of my tv too for some reason..well, cuz its in the living room)...but yeah its the same exact fucking album also frosted flakes or FROSTIES rather was a decision makes me think of the mandela effect
SPOILERS!!!
before i begin, CHOICES!! i will try to write more about this later. a few weeks ago, i was playing the game "Beyond two souls' where you make choices througout at one point, without thinking about what character to go too, i chose JAY and even saw on a street SIGN blue JAY etc (this was when i was trying to figure out whether i should ditch mike for good and date jay or just stay with mike) unfortunately, jay was a little too pushy with me and that just turned me off but if he wasnt like that well, who knows. doesnt matter anymore anyways, does it? but this episode of black mirror (just one ep now), reminded me of that, and the choices we make...however, the game concludes that the choices we choose do not really matter or something...idk..but yeah so...one of the decisions was which album to listen too. one of them was thompson twins. I HAVE THAT RECORD ALBUM IN FACT ITS LEANING UP AGAINST MY MIRROR!! (black mirror, looking glass), in my living room !???! (living room is the name of my tv too for some reason..well, cuz its in the living room)...but yeah its the same exact fucking album also frosted flakes or FROSTIES rather was a decision makes me think of the mandela effect
SPOILERS!!!
Has anyone researched into project monarch? Dissociative identity disorder? The scene where the boy was blindfolded and had his rabbit 'snatched' away...well...hey, what does bander mean? hmm...anyways, the rabbit might signfiy the white rabbit, 'follow the white rabbit'...as well as go through the looking glass, or dissociate. in one scene he had forgotten that he was an actor and tried to choose to jump out the window. this reminds me of my own dreams where i try to do something but my dreams just will not allow it to happen. the option to choose netflix, it actually types, "i watch you on netflix' so maybe you can dig a bit deeper and netflix is actually telling us that THEY are watching us! (via our smart tvs, video game consoles, alexas etc..), pearl was developing the game actually. i actually had the strangest synchronictity because after i saw the pax demon, i saw a goat demon on instagram, i can concur that that was perhaps, a sign? "Give me a sign! Please! Give me a sign!!"...back to the boy, he was blindfolded and drugged so he could of been abused and developed walls upon walls of amnesia to protect him from 'trauma' as the case read. just google it, about project monarch and actors...etc...almost like, things may be set up to 'targetted individuals' may even be a supernatural setup...sorry just going on a tangent. i wonder about the record choices now. the more you try to play the game the more it reveals that it was really just a concept which came to fruition for netflix..who is watching US after all!!
Real Life Doll Uses Hypnotherapy To Become Brainless
shes 38? she looks way older (this was back in 2014 so shes around 43 now)
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