Thursday, May 30, 2013

2007 Archive: 'Playboy' Prison Guard Wants Job Back

so....i am trying to get a shoot done so i can submit the photos to donatelli modeling for the valley beat. i have a photographer who wants to work with me from model mayhem, and he said he can take some that the valley beat will want. well, while trying to look for randy donatellis email address, it comes up that he is a sex offender...uh...that is not cool. i mean, it is common i guess, in the modeling world but....i dont know? i just want to be in the valley beat thats all. i dont need to deal with him just email him the photos hopefully it works out. upon looking i read about 'heather hull' from reading pa, fired from her job as a correctional officer because she was featured in playboy. heres a clip:
so...

oh my god, really?? he seemed a bit innapropriate....

 http://articles.mcall.com/1995-04-25/news/3038906_1_indecent-exposure-counts-of-indecent-assault-modeling


Man Guilty In Attack On Easton Women

April 25, 1995|The Morning Call
Photographer Randy Donatelli has been convicted in Berks County Court of sexually assaulting two Easton women last summer in his modeling agency in Muhlenberg Township.
He was convicted at a jury trial of two counts of aggravated assault, two counts of indecent assault and one count of indecent exposure.
He was acquitted of a second charge of indecent exposure.
Senior Judge Frederick Edenharter permitted Donatelli to remain free on $50,000 recognizance bail, pending sentencing.
The judge denied a request by the prosecution to raise the bail to $250,000.
A 30-year-old woman testified she went with a friend to Donatelli's agency last July. She said she was there to get pictures taken to try for a role in a commercial about mammograms for a hospital.
She said she urged her friend, 31, to apply for modeling jobs. The friend wanted to be photographed for jobs with Playboy and Penthouse magazines, she said.
The 30-year-old said Donatelli told the women to undress and put on robes before having their pictures taken.
Both women said Donatelli took their measurements, told them they had tilted uteruses and fondled them to confirm their conditions.
The 30-year-old said Donatelli at one point pulled off his pants and asked her to have sexual relations. She said she told him, "I'm not that type of woman."
She said that afterward he asked them if they wanted to go to eat -- "like nothing happened."
The older woman said she didn't think it was unusual to be asked to disrobe for modeling photos. But she said he had her lie on a reclining chair and fondled her.
"I told him I was uncomfortable and he stopped," she said.
Donatelli claimed the women brought the cases against him because they didn't get the modeling jobs.
Several defense witnesses said Donatelli was with them in a Reading tavern at the time the women said they were assaulted.
The jurors deliberated for less than two hours before rendering their verdicts.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

flashback!

ha! limp bizkit. (floppy hotdog)....ugh this week is gonna be HOT! damnnnnnnn

anyways, wow limp bizkit ha! takes me back to a time in my life i will never get back. when things were fresh, exiting, i dont know. stuff.........

oh i saw vice posted this so im just gun share!

http://www.vice.com/read/its-2013-who-still-listens-to-limp-bizkit?utm_source=vicefbus

-reminds me of parties with bonfires, and uh........crates? pallets.

this summer better be fun but you know, im not really drinking anymore so....it will be fun in a lame kind of way!

every day im at work, i think to myself...what am i doing with my life? you know???

shrug


today i did 30 minutes eliptical 10 minutes walking treadmill

Shake Weight Workout

i lost my tutorial. so i need this yes i got shake weight!

Monday, May 27, 2013

this weekend

mike is being grumpy. no worries. i just did one of the hour workouts on my dvd. damn! some parts of hard to do but i carry on.

friday-is when mike and i got into a fight. wait....i think? hmm, friday. yeah he wanted cicis pizza. we rented a movie and it turned out terribly. it was gangster squad and i just get sick of his comments. emma stone. there is a way a guy can do something w/out making his girl feel like shit. im not jealous and i can say when an actress is beautiful, but he just does it in a very irritating way, and we never watch movies 'together' he never sits next to me. i dont know? anyways....he didnt want to spend saturday with me so i ended up going with my parents to their friend delis house we had some bbq sandwiches, corn on the cobs, pickles, chips, and cupcakes, and coffee. and soda. it was good but it gave me belly aches. we also played scrabble. i like playing board games.

i honestly want to quit drinking. i dont mind playing board games on a saturday night. im going to fix up the back porch nice so we can play it. 

mike was gone when i got back. HE went out of course. he was at your welcome inn. he did come back tho, at 11:40. 

sunday, we went to the church picnic. had some good food maybe i will post up some pics. why not?????

so, what else? oh we went to brainards and took a walk, then we watched 'hangover 3' in the movies we actually sat next to each other which was nice.

i need to start writing. i cant give up my dreams.

today i did a good workout and ate the rest of my homemade soup.





 

 

 

 


 

MTV Cribs Paulina Rubio

i remember seeing this she has/had a BEAUTIFUL home!!!

memorial weekend

i am so tired! so, saturday mike didnt want me to be around he wanted me to be gone for a few hours. i didnt know what to do??! what the hell? i dont know? sat morning i did the spin class for an hour GOOD workout! im so tired in fact im too tired to finish this blog. i'll do it later............YAWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Saturday, May 25, 2013

heys...

so lately i don't feel much of anything. well...im glad i am working, and i am fully intending to save up. mikes a jerk, as usual. he never got me anything for valentines day or our 3 year anniversary (which was back in march). i mean yes we went out to dinner where he wanted me to get something from the lunch menu...anyways, so for the longest time i was looking forward to getting this tattoo, because he told me he was going to get me a tattoo. well last saturday i went out with seamarina, and when i got home he was acting all mad at me and told me he wasnt going to get me it. then he said he would pay for it if i didnt drink for a month. so that tuesday when i had my appt i came home and i was like, 'ok mike lets go now!" but mike said, 'i told you to reschedule it' even tho he made it seem like he would still pay for it if i held up to my word. but he said no and said he was tired from work. so i went by myself because its rude to break an appointment especially since i just texted him to tell him i was going to be a little late. thats all i was thinking about at work, getting my squidbillies rusty tattoo, and mike had to disappoint me by saying reschedule (after a month)...that really hurt. he is so inconsiderate of me. he doesnt care or respect me. if he did he would want to make me happy. instead he tells me because of all the things i do (whatever). im not happy with him. he doesnt make me feel good about myself. tonight we were going to go out to eat but he didnt want to spend 30.00 on dinner, and he kept suggesting 'cici's pizza'...i really do not like that place. i dont eat pizza, plus i hate going to family orientated restaurants. i would like to go to mesa, which is a nice mexican restaurant...id like to go somewhere more mature...meaning...you know, not a family restaurant. i said i dont want to go there, then he suggested getting fried chicken. i said no! he knows im on a diet. i cant eat that crap. he got mad. i was finally like fine lets go to cicis pizza, plus i kind of wanted to make him happy but when we got there i said oh theres a table follow me but when i turned around he didnt even get his drink and sit at the table he was holding his empty cup and he was in the buffet line. what a gentleman (ha! gentleman) srzy tho...he should wait for me to get in line for food. get our drinks and table first then go up to get food. then we went to walmart for a bit. it was ok i dont mind walking around walmart. i wanted to rent a movie but 'mama' wasnt in redbox so we got gangster squad. i didnt want to drink tonight maybe i dont want to drink tomorrow either. maybe i dont want to drink for a month...i wake up early every morning and im just happy to have a couple of days to sleep in and do things during the day which dont involve hangovers or regret. anyways, no matter what movie we get, mike always has to make comments about the actresses. i wouldnt mind, but he does it in a way which makes me feel like shit. he just doesnt make me feel good. usually i like to feel attractive and stuff....ok well.....it just feels good to know you are with someone who actually likes you and enjoys spending time with you and being with you i miss that. mike never makes me feel that way. he makes me feel frustrated, and annoyed and dulled. so we just got in this huge fight and he started pointing and shouting at me to just leave, move out...bitch/cunt. im such a nice person i am. i may have some faults but i have a good heart, but mike just thinks im a bitch. plus he puts me down and finds ways to insult me. when i try to tell him about things, i dont know, things, he just insults me like im stupid and vapid. i am so done in fact i have been for a while. i just feel tired and dull lately. i have been trying to eat healthy, (well, starting next week), and going to the gym/working out. i did lose 11 pounds i am taking pics of the scale. last month i was 155 now i am 145/144....my tummy is flatter i plan on losing another 15-20 pounds but i must eat well, work out, avoid alchohol.

alcohol 

anyways i guess im just gonna go to sleep now. feels weird that im up this late i need to go to sleep!









 

Monday, May 20, 2013

so...the other day i wanted to come up with slow cooker suppers for the week. well............WAILLLLLLLLLLL i saw one and i wrote down the ingredients. then i went to the store. one was for 'red curry pulled pork sandwiches'. sounded good. so i went through all the trouble of finding the ingredients at the grocery store, when i realized, pork butt. (idk?) pork something or other, i dont really eat pork either >:( but at that point i already got the hard to find items and i didnt really feel like putting them back. i was tired and hungry and wanted to get out of there. the pork thing was 15.00!!??! shit!!!

so i slow cooked that today. it was good but bad because the dressing called for canola oil (terrible!), and pork....and whole wheat baguette...which i couldnt find so i used bread. whole wheat is really sugar. so who knows? 

i decided to eat one sandwich and use the eliptical for an hour on random. oohh boy! 

im tired now...........need a shower.  

Sunday, May 19, 2013

so...i have alot on my mind. you see, i want to adopt a healthy lifestyle. i want to feel clear-minded, and honest. i want to feel good about myself and all that jazz. sigh. so, friday, mike and i rented a movie, silent hill 3D. mike of course fell asleep. i was so tired too, so i woke up mike to say lets go to bed. when i said 'mike' he goes, 'whhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuut' in a mean voice. i said lets go to sleep. i thought he would be happy i wanted to go to bed instead he was just being a jerk to me. i started crying because he thought i was being 'nagging' like he always does. i always think we can finally talk for real when we lay in bed at night, but that never happens. instead i just get frustrated due to him not even listening to me. hes just always mean to me, but then he switched it to laughing and mocking me. 'serenity now' he kept saying everytime i tried to speak. what a jerk. im just done. me and him should of been done along time ago. why be with someone who doesnt love or appreciate you? cuz if mike cared he would want to conversate and be caring towards me. he says i left him a long time ago, when i cheated. whatever...mike is boring and i went out with that guy from the airport, mike doesnt want to do anything with me. how do i know he never cheated either. i mean, i still like going out and having fun...but thats the thing...which i will get to next.

so mike tells me he doesnt want to be around me when i drink. ok so.......i didnt drink friday. i didnt really want too. i wanted to wake up early and go to the holistic expo. so we did that. i felt like it was kind of overpriced tho. 7.00 to get in. it was very new agey, (i cant think of a comical term to describe it now) you know what i mean....we listened to some speakers and i bought sage. also got a ten dollar acupuncture card. cool i want to try it. then we went home i watched the end of silent hill. last weekend seamarina and i were going to hang out but we said next weekend, so last night she wanted to hang out. i dont know, i wanted to hang out with shannan but she couldnt cuz she just had a baby. so i figured ok i guess i will get sea and we could go out. ehh...so...going out is not that fun anymore. she talks...alot. rambles on. so we went to bethlehem and we parked and we saw a library speakeasy, but we didnt go she was unsure about going also it would probably be expensive. so we went to tally hos. i wanted to bar hop. oh yeah we did get a drink at your welcome inn. so yeah, it was so loud they had dance music. she bought a pitcher, then another. then we were going to talk back to your welcome inn. but some guys said something to us about it being the one guys birthday, and they told us they would buy us drinks or something. i kept walking to your welcome and we went but neither of us had money and marina really wanted to go back to tally hos. fine. so we found the guys and they had beer and stuff. then they bought us shots. so everyone wanted to go to the dance floor. at the end of the night they usually play annoying dance music...club beats. i do like to dance but its very annoying when guys dance with you because they are right behind you and whats the fun of dancing if you cant show off your moves? ha! one of the guys kept dancing with me. i was kind of drunk tho, from those girl scout cookie shots. he kissed me why? i feel bad about that. i would never do that if i wasnt drinking. see its stuff like that which make me want to quit drinking. although last night i didnt do anything bad, i mean, i did drink and drive and thats scary. i cant do that. seamarina always has to eat after so she had a sausage thing that was outside we also stopped at mcdonalds? i had a chicken sandwich. i was drunk so i went to her house and she made me spaghetti. then i went home. mike was mad. when i woke up he was so mean to me. i didnt do anything wrong i dont need to be treated like i did something wrong. i want to stop drinking tho. im just done with it. i want to have a healthy lifestyle. and yes i want to look good. lisa thinks i want to lose weight so i can get likes on facebook. and so i can be skinny. actually no, i want to be fit and feel good, eat healthy and stuff. so yeah..what else? i cant think anymore!!! today i did abs workout and went grocery shipping












Wednesday, May 15, 2013

clones in my coffee-a series of synchronicites

friday night a 'freemason' gave me midofinal (limitless drug like in the movie limitless)

ok sunday night..family guy was on. that your so vain song came on...they made a joke about it of course...

monday morning i made black coffee

(i felt paranoid)

this morning i was driving to work and i heard the song 'your so vain' and i heard that part 'clowns in your coffee' this inspired me to someday paint a painting of 'clowns in your coffee'

a new woman started working , her name is Lorraine. another woman started with me, kim brown. she thinks its so interesting and weird that we have the same last names. i said my real name is Lorraine to the other lady) oh yeah kim is the name of my cousin too. funny coincedences but kim kept commenting on how weird these connections were. we could probably go on making connections but it will drive us crazy *note!!

(((((so i come home from work....the power goes off.)))

mike comes home and we are hungry, so we decide to walk and perhaps see what caused the power to go off? btw,, today was the day they begin to take down that roller coaster in the ocean at seaside heights....

which the power going off made me think of when the power went off during hurricane sandy. we just so happened to see that wendys was the only restaurant with power, so we went there. i saw a win 1000.00 for tweeting a pic of the new sandwich they are marketing...so i thought, hmm...and decided to try it. (what if i won?) it was good.

i told mike the connections i saw and i said (((WHOA THE JERSEY SHORE IS OPEN COMMERCIAL JUST CAME ON...seaside/wildwoods ok synch!))) i said the universe is just giving me little signs thats all!

i forgot to mention during work i kept thinking of this article i saw about taylor swift being a time ((another sync on conan it just said IMDBCOOPER and bradley cooper was in that movie limitless))

i was thinking about taylor swift and how she could be a time travelling satanist but clone is more like it so i came up with a story in my head ((that limitless pill is working!!!)) so i wrote about clones...

then, angus oblong msgd me back about buying a shoebox home ((lol!!)

so then...........i thought of that song, but instead of saying 'clowns' ((angus oblong is a clown!?)) i sthought, [clones in your coffee]

THEN...(like kim said, above) i thought to myself, 'this is all coming into fruition' and fruition is what the guy who used to play paul from wonder years said ((it was a link on YAHOO today)...they found him and they asked him about the urban legend him being marilyn manson...but maybe they are clones!??

((i know i sound nutty but this is fodder for my story idea)


what if something was in that pill and in the coffee for me to think this way? i better go to bed tho...

i could of included links but im too tired too...maybe later. go on my twitter to see the wendys i thought if i had won then it was meant to be! (w/ the power going off...wendys being the only one) also i clicked on a twitpic matthew seinrich posted it was him and seth green wearing an eye patch with a $ bill over it and pointing at the camera....(i thought...what if i won that 1K)















Taylor Swift is a satanic time traveller..."the paper said.

"what is this? look this woman from the 90s show sally jesse raphael looks just like taylor swift!? could it be..."

i think....i think she is a clone.

'why do you say that?'

um...well, they are able to make clones now. actually this has been going on for a while...i would like to be able to get this lavey woman who was on sally jesse raphael in the 90s, and find taylor swift and get their dna. thats the easy part. the hard part is, well...where would we even find them?

-so you say clones do exist?

'well yes, they do. they extract the DNA molecules and they divide them. they keep these DNA molecules to continuosly make more clones. If you see, Keanu Reeves, Nicholas Cage and many more have been cloned numerous times throughout the century.

'h-how do you know this? destiny?

"im not really sure? i just do!??

-hmm.......so, they raise this clones as children? how do they keep them secret if there were so many clones of them?

destiny- well, clones actually only function properly for 3 months, then they start deteriorating...their endochrine systems go first, then the central nervous system...(destiny pauses and a glazed look washes over her face.

'destiny...how do you know this?'

'must be cell memory. i...am not sure?'

cell memory? so what does that mean?

do you even remember where you learned this?

destinys eyes widened, "im not even...sure!??" just then her bladder released and she peed all over herself.

'what is going on!??"

-cell memory, like muscle memory. this must be stored information...so, what does this mean?

-do you even remember memories? or you just remember remembering memories...?

'am i a....are you a??? are we clones??

what do clones do when they start deteriorating???

they need to get to the dna labs and obtain their stored dna, and go to the shells of bodies to restore theirselves...this body is a shell, which is dying. it needs to get to the new body and restore the dna so it can grow in the new body. the new body has no features or characteristics unless it is inserted and implemented into the host. then we will start growing within the new body...all recollection of being a clone will fade away, and we have another 3 months to feel as a fully functioning human with a life story, history, and memories, or what we think is...will be our existence...

 http://www.thesuperficial.com/taylor-swift-satanist-zeena-la-vey-05-2013




thoughts

i have a few ideas. one, is a sobriety bracelet. do they have this already? it can be a light blue ribbon and you wear it...to show your sobriety. this will be a gentle reminder of why you are now sober. another bracelet could be a respect bracelet. your body is your temple. just because you are lonely and need attention you do not have to sleep with some guy or act slutty (not to me...well..in the past...but this is for my friend who really does post pics online to get attention, and she is so sexual with everyone. guys are idiots. you dont need some guy who is just going to sleep with you. guys will sleep with ANYTHING guys really do not care. if you meet someone who loves you, they will respect you. they will love you and everything about you. if you meet some guy you like, who will have sex with you, but thats it, no follow up, then he doesnt respect you. he will just try to hit on any female he finds attractive that will give him a chance. your not special, but is he to you? or do you want to use him for sex? DOUBLE STANDARD!

ok.....i wanted to write about more stuff......but by the time i get home i am so tired. in fact, i dont feel like sharing some cool signs right now. i want to write about the clones tho....in the next post.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

tuesday

when im at work or whenever, i feel like i have things i want to blog about, but now i forget. hmm.......

maybe about my life.

because my life...............is stupid and pointless now. i work and get tired. i dont know?

Monday, May 13, 2013

ha

i forgot i made that post....plus i dont remember listening to it...vaguely. ughh i feel like an idiot. i was going to make a blog about feeling depressed at work but im just going to go to sleep i guess.

first part of the day i felt so depressed, like i could imagine having a panic attack. saturday i stayed up till 5amish mike acted like he was so mad at me the next day, plus i felt weird cuz i posted on adult swim and facebook and i absolutely hate when i do that.

i felt paranoid too...then this morning i had coffee (i never drink coffee) it made me feel slight paranoia and also depression. i felt i needed to get out of that place my heart was beating fast it felt and ughh

im going to bed i took melatonin. i'll post more later...i guess :/

Sunday, May 12, 2013

dave willis says satan is great

Mansfield lived on Frost Avenue in Phillipsburg after she was born April 19, 1933, in Bryn Mawr, Pa. She moved with her mother to Texas after the death of her father, Herbert Palmer, a lawyer who died of a heart attack when driving from Phillipsburg to Pen Argyl in 1936 when she was 3.

oops

 http://adultswimcentral.com/2013/05/11/brand-new-episode-of-the-swimcast-w-guests-davewillis2-heycasperkelly/

oh so yeah....around 15 minutes.. i wish i could interview these dudes id be like...it aint that depressing i mean, ya sold your soul to satan? well...live it up...SUCKA!!!

:)




Tuesday, May 7, 2013

my feet kill from standing all day on hard concrete..no rubber mats damn! i cant wait to get my first check...of course..i have bills to pay bills to pay!

oops i forgot to make a new cd to listen too darn shucks

yeah so i have bills like i said.

nj surcharge...200.00 ((month))

rent (im staying in easton since its closer and i like having my own place) 200.00 ((month))

cell phone 40.00 month

cable and internet bill 160.00 month

so those are my bills...now, i should be making over 1400.00 a month so i can start saving not to mention to apple products i want to get and some clothes and whatnots...

right...lets not forget misc like food (i dont think i will be getting 200.00 food stamps now if i make over 1400.00 which SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! it does) so lets say...another 200 for food which totals 800 a month, plus gas...ughh, so what does that mean? 600 a month...i can figure i can save...hmm

i dont know? im mad because mike always wanted me to let him use my food stamp card since i was staying here for free for a while.

i better go to bed its almost 11pm and i need to wake up at 545..im just used to watching conan but who cares anymore.........i care about rest! REST!!!!!! and i just took melatonin













Monday, May 6, 2013

egads the business!??!

anyways, so now that i have this job...i want to start buying things that i have been wanting for a while. i keep writing a list of things i want..i keep losing it!? however, i did write a list here..on this blog...

well here is a brief overview

-apple mac -1300-2000.00
-printer 150.00
- IPod nano- 149.00 (with speakers)
-iphonw 5-649.00 (eek..spensive)

playstation 3-269.99 ((alice silent hill games)
gym membership

also squidbillies tattoo!! (uh huh..im getting that soon! also want a pizza slice one toe)

Friday, May 3, 2013

5/3/13

alright im just gonna put it all out there...egads the buisness!?!

so, mike was the one who made me get the paper every sunday, to look for jobs, ok? well, he wants me to start chipping in with rent, duh!

he made me go to job fairs, fill out applications.. fine you know. i mean, yes i know i needed a job! 

so...heres the deal. i got this job! i just did a full week, with some overtime. its ok..i dont mind it, in fact, i do like it!

its good hours m-f 7-330 (or until 430)...some saturdays...which i do not mind

also...a 10% raise each month when we are on time 

and weekly paychecks, which i like.

this whole week, (except today really...) i have been thinking, 'what am i doing? this is SO not what i want to do with my life!' i come home super tired, feet and legs sore...to this miserable dark place...

but i feel good leaving work and the drive home. so today is friday so i felt great leaving! knowing i have the weekend to chill and relax! =) but i dont really have a guy that i like to hang out with...someone to look forward to seeing...

ugh...unfortunately...who knows. mikes a jerk. yeah..established already!!!

so i was happy that i just worked a week and i can relax! mike comes home, with little ceasers pizza. i fucking HATE little ceasers pizza and he knows im trying to eat healthy...but fuck it. who cares? then he wanted to talk. well, ok, so moss says to me, 'you need therapy. its not normal to cut your self. you need to call therapy this and that'..

ok THIS is why i did it. last weekend, well, last friday, i was happy i got a job. i took a shower, did my hair and makeup, mike wanted to go out to eat so we went to ruby tuesdays. i said i wanted to go out...since i was dressed up. he said he doesnt have to go out every weekend and he doesnt have enough money but saturday we were supposed to go to scotts band (what...did i say on IB last week??) i dont even want to know. so ...sigh. i really did not want to stay home last friday (like tonight..well, i would stay home if mike is cool but hes just not....we havent had fun together in a very long time...)

i dont want to just sit at home in the dark dreary basement, watching movies..start snoring at 9. fuck that! i like to do stuff. im cool i like to chat. oh whatever!??!

so...last weekend, i actually hung out with that guy...( i feel like he reads this? he doesnt tho...but someoen does?)

whats so wrong with that tho? i mean.......so what!? mikes boring. at least john buys me drinks and i am attracted to him..?? anyways, mike got mad, naturally..of course. i'd be pissed too, but i just dont care anymore. i tell mike all the time he doesn't care about me, we never communicate. weekends come around and hes boring and we fight. we havent had a good wknd in forever. he usually goes to your welcome inn by himself anyways.

so saturday was a beautiful day and mike was being an asshole to me and left me by myself. i was so upset because i want to be with someone who cares about me, and he took off and didnt answer my calls.. so i started hyperventilating, really upset and crying and screaming..i felt like i was going to die...(i dont know?) i texted mike to come back that i cut my wrists but he never texted back i told him i swallowed a bunch of pills he never replied..(he doenst get texts) now i understand, yes...that was quite stupid of me..immature..whatever...so i was at the verge where my emotions took me to another place and i didnt feel like myself, then i got the idea to send him a pic of my wrists but i didnt really cut it....so i got a razor and cut it but not deep. i was just dazed and i cut my arms before and carved some cool designs in it, (when i was in high school)...so i didnt think it would hurt. it didnt but then it stung. i was at the verge of hyperventilating and on some other wavelength so yeah. later i hung out with adam we went to tally hos and had some drinks kim texted me i said i cut my wrists..(why? i dont know? cry for attention? yeah probably)

so moss msgd lisa about it and she called me yesterday. she thinks i post on facebook looking for attention (i dont), that its selfish and inconsiderate of me to post food on facebook, that i dont care about anyone else, that i post pictures of myself to get attention. i hardly post pictures of myself. sometimes i do but so does everyone else. and the ppl i know are from lots of different places...oh who cares why am i explaining myself? im just not happy with mike.

he came home today i was thinking we would be in a good mood, i worked all week. instead, he was like, 'i need to talk to you' but then he started talking in the way..the talk down to me way...and he said for me to leave end of month. ok i just got this job, you know? i gave him rent money. now hes pulling this on me!??

i fucking give up! this is bullshit all of it is. im thinking, stay working at this job..(it is a good job after all) save money..but i certainly am not staying with mike!??

its fucking friday night hell im gonna take a shower and figure something out idk...          



  


   






  

Thursday, May 2, 2013

weird radio

radio played some weird songs. i am so sick of hearing the usual radio songs, you know...ESPECIALLY that new pitbull/christina aquilera one .."i just want to feel this moment' (speaking of...i have an idea for a short story..sort of about de ja vu..also have more ideas too)

i saw the video in the morning before going to work and her forehead is huge and she looks balding and i hate her quick side stare thing she does.

well, after lunch i noticed the radio started playing songs that remind me of 8th, or high school...old songs? like 'everybody dance now', old extreme songs (lol remember extreme?), also older songs that reminded me of times in my life...idk? they also played kriss kross jump jump...then they played songs that said 'poison' in it, like katy perry like you were POISON...also, 'you've got the poison, i;ve got the remedy'...so i was like...ok? (i thought they played that music because im sick of all the radio songs like i just want to feel this moment!") and felt it was a nod to me when i heard poison...ya know!??!?

HAAAAAAAAAAAA but then i learned, one of the kris's died, at 34...( i was also thinking, oh bcuz i clicked on a yahoo article about gwyneth paltrow, that says she just turned 40 so i was thinking, shes only 40? i thought she was older. then i thought about the age 34 (like, is that young or what movies was gwyneth in at that age...also i thought other stuff but i need to go to sleep!....and i saw later (another link to click on the gwyneth)....but i saw that it was  chris kelly, 34...died..

well anyways...........i cant think now!?? i took melatoning plus im slleppy and cant type 






Wednesday, May 1, 2013

im sorry i cant help my thoughts dont mind me..

why does amanda bynes always wink? im going to save her pics of her doing this and make a blog post later...too lazy too...

starbucks poison

so, this is kind of weird...i must share it. when i came home from work, i heard on the news that some woman tried to poison a starbucks. hmm, i thought...'poison'. i just made a mental note, tha'll...(yes i know some conspiracy theorist guy sent poison to the president...didn't really look too much into that)..nor was i going to about the poisoned starbucks incident, see link here: http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/poisoned-oj-slipped-starbucks-cold-case-215219627.html

until i heard conan make a joke about it last night...

heres the link, if you must : http://teamcoco.com/video/full-episode-4-30-ke-ha-andy-and-jonathan-hillstrand

the joke is at 6:14 minutes ehh when he said starbucks, i automatically thought 'poison' because i heard the poisoned starbucks earlier, so naturally you know?

well the barista wrote 'vagina' on it...ooh kay!??

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/starbucks-yes-virginia-called-vagina-article-1.1331907

i dont know i just wonder if there is a hidden msg there for me....poison/vagina.....conan...

conan you want my vagina! HA! illl............yuck, right? HA! im stupid...

oh before kesha comes on there is a birdcage with his face spinning around, then he does the ok 666 hand signal, and then a shh sign before gritty kesha comes out wearing his face all over her body...later she gives him mens briefs with HER face all over  the crotch, and he put it on. oh so does that mean HER face was all over his crotch? ill gross did they 69? HA imagine that!?? nasty!!

ill gross what does that mean? hypnotized and his face...all over...her gross flabby body? UGHHH so weird...its at the second part and he shh fingers then says 'alotta show' like the latte vagina or like from the austin powers movie alotta fagina..remember? REMEMBER?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://teamcoco.com/video/full-episode-4-30-ke-ha-andy-and-jonathan-hillstrand
 not to be rude or whatever...i like his music tho,.at the end..

so anyways...yeah....i forget