FULL COVERAGE : Foundation Highlight & Contour Routine

morphe

Looking for some good makeup brushes and I see lots of youtubers claim morphe (pronounced morphie i guess)...but i like the velvet luxe brushes they sell at sephora. of course, i NEVER wear makeup, but i would like a clean, professional makeup look the times when i do wear it. i also do not need all the brushes she featured in her video!???? just a few...and do i really need brushes for foundations and what not!?? ehhhh i have no idea!?? youtube makeup artists always seem to use so much...of everything!? http://www.morphebrushes.com/collections/brushes-sets

Morphe

| USE CODE : LittleBoss : for a discount |

-E2
-E43
-E24
-E23
-E50
-E58
-E47
-E41
-E3
-G6
-G28
-M433
-M527
-M523
-M530
-M224
-M507
-M416 - Lip brush

Make up For Ever
- Green & Yellow Corrector Primer
- Pro Sculpting Palette 40
- Ultra HD Foundation Stick 128 = Y415

Morphe

| USE CODE : LittleBoss : for a discount |

- 35P Palette
-E2
-M439
-M433
-M527
-M507
-M416 - Lip brush

ABH
- So Hollywood

Lipstick
Jeffree Star - Celebrity Skin

Lashes
- Vegas Nay - Grand Glamour

De ja vu at my work

There is something different when you are at work during abnormal times, such as a Saturday night, when the rest of the factory workers have the day off. They have been asking us to come in every Saturday for the past few months, but of course, I have only been showing up on Friday's for overtime, and not coming in on Saturdays. Before we got our helpers, I would often experience pangs of depression at work, which would be so strong to the point where it felt as if I had to shed some tears. Working in a basic solitary atmosphere can do that to you, especially when you are under flourescent lighting and no natural light at all. The helpers tend to make the isolation go away, and lately, I have been running 3 or more printers each night. I am so busy that I no longer have time to let the depression eat away at myself.

Tonight, only a few of us was in the laser cutting department. The rest of the factory was dead. Quiet. Which was nice, I thought. I had to finish up everyone's orders, and so I was on printer 6, 7, 8, and 9. I went about in work zone, flitting about printer to printer and making material to be cut, when something happened.

Something very awakening occurred. 

Since I work till 3am, I usually get to sleep by 5 am. My work makes its way into my dreams, and while I was on printer 6 and 7, I experienced the strongest sense of de ja vu. This happened before, whether in my reality or within my dreams. I started vividly remembering peices and occurences which I strongly recollected.

Earlier, I was talking to a girl from India, who told me she just moved here 4 months ago. There is another guy too, who is filipino or asian, I'm not sure? Well, after all the de ja vu, I felt as if I left my body, as if I left my job, I left the constraints of a floursecent lit factory, and I felt so much more. I was aware of something much more magnificent than working at a factory. I honestly felt as if the universe was being explained to me. I felt a vibrational buzz as well. They say travelling cultures you, it definately does. It changes your outlook on everything. You may feel stuck in one area somewhere, but there is a whole world out there and it is full of different emotions and feelings, wonders...I felt beyond where I was at. I understood life, I felt it. 

I just finished a book about death, it was the book written by that death investigator who also performed autopsies. I think about death, alot. I do not feel as if we cease to exist after we die.

It was really strange experiencing this extreme de ja vu at work. Oh yeah, also, when the printer stops printing, a light turns on to let you know, but it is really bright. Well, it turned on right in my eyes. I started seeing prismatic rainbows on the top corner of my right eye. I thought I was tripping or something.

Everything was just really....eye opening..?? I just felt a glimpse of something more....something more then working and sleeping and dreaming of work....

synchronicity (friday 26th)

wow. so just now, i saw an old photo album, littered with stickers on it, this was my album from 2006-2007. i just thought about that time, then, i sat down, (tmz is on tv), and for some reason, my mind was led to 2006-2007, because they were interviewing some model, and they were on maple drive in beverly hills. this was around where i stayed at, (elm drive), in beverly hills, where anand jon stayed, and where we would stay when we would go there. it was a synchronicity at that time. 

Open Letter Battles (Adult Swim David Cross vs. Mike Lazzo; Yelp 24 employee )

I will put up two links, which contain more links within it. First one is a battle between adult swim CEO Mike Lazzo, ("the guy who runs adult swim",) and David Cross, (and H. Jon Benjamin)...click on links to read more responses to and fro. Apparantly...David Cross is upset because he originally pitched the Icelandic Blue idea, but was turned down. He noticed that his idea was later done. It's just kind of amusing and entertaining to read the bitter banter to and fro. Here is the link to that:

http://www.avclub.com/article/david-cross-h-jon-benjamin-and-mike-lazzo-engage-e-215577

Moving on...next we have the yelp24 millenial who lives in San Fransisco, who wrote an open letter to her employer, (even calling the guy out, posting a picture of his house online, and including links to his twitter, which is public domain, still...) I understand..complaining about your job online, or talking about it on youtube, I have done it, yes....but....I don't know, she did get a point across....I suppose. 


well anyways, here is the link to that...(but there are lots of open letters and responses and i dont feel like putting up all the links!)
https://medium.com/@saramichener/36-year-old-destroys-29-year-old-millennial-who-ripped-25-year-old-yelp-employee-who-got-fired-aa91972dedff#.qlaidvuen

MOSS IS AN IGNORANT FUNGUS

I unfriended and blocked Moss because he is an ignorant fuck that lives in a safe Hollywood bubble, gleefully in his media painted world of niceties. He told me I was being rude to him because I was telling him facts of snuff films existing. He told me his fat, 40 year old female friend told him that she was offered to do a porn film for 20,000.00, overseas, I believe. No normal porn pays that, so I asked him, 'a snuff film?" He gave me a snopes link which says that snuff does not exist. First of all, I do not trust snopes at all and it is for the smarmy, left wing, thinker who does not have the ability to question anything. The snopes logo is a snake. I do not even care. But this is not about conspiracy. This is not about satanic practice, (although I am sure it goes hand in hand). Moss thinks that snuff films do not exist!??!! Does child porn exist? Yes. It does. If child porn exists, then why not snuff. Snuff is usually a murder or suicide caught on film. Have we seen snuff? I am sure at one point in our lives, each of us has seen snuff. Faces of death, curiosity killed the cat...I have no idea. I do not seek snuff type stuff, so I have no idea. I know it is out there. My ex boyfriend told me, (years ago), that when he was a teenager, his friend put in a video of a girl getting raped and murdered. It exists. People are sick. To say it does not exist shows that you are an ignorant tool who thinks everyone has good intentions.

Moss also told me that he disagrees, and that there is no such things as occult images. Rihanna used blatant occult images in that video I posted before, Lady Gaga the same. Kesha, etc...and they do not deny it. There IS occult imagery in music videos. They use masonic imagery.

Moss- I disagree.

Moss, are you stupid!? It is right there!? "I disagree"...

So I asked Moss, 'so let me ask you this. Are these musicians using occult imagery for attention? Sometimes they do it because they know #illuminati is a trendy thing nowadays, so they will use this imagery to garnish attention. Call it a marketing ploy....call it whatever you want, but it is occult imagery. So, do you think they are just jumping on this bandwagon???"

He says he disagrees, so this tells me the next thing.
If these musicians and artists are not aware (were you aware? Dr. OZ synch)..of the occult imagery, then they are being used as puppets and tools. They have no idea that there is a pentagram in their music video, or egyptian imagery, why...they are just clueless, ignorant puppets, (like Moss)...they think its all puppies and rainbows! Therefore, someone else is controlling the strings, putting in this obvious occult imagery. Someone more sinister, Satan perhaps!? So...since Moss does not believe that Rihanna or Katy Perry are aware of their occult imagery, (but it is...occult imagery), then SATAN must be controlling them, therefore, blind as a bat Krivin must believe in SATAN!!!


"I disagree". Disagree!?? WITH WHAT!??!? hey asshole! i call him. he says im being rude. fuck him!

I was telling him how I heard an interview with a black girl who said she was given 10,000.00 because they did a snuff film. Some snuff porn has someone having sex with a girl doggy style and chops off her head...(doesnt exist. snopes. never happened) how do we know tho? how do we know for sure. Obviously, there is a dark underworld, there is the black web also..where bitcoin runs rampant and people use it do purchase child porn, so what makes us think that children are the only ones getting victimized? If child snuff films exist, then why wouldn't adult snuff films exist? If there is videos of children getting sexually abused and murdered, then why the fuck wouldn't there be videos of adults getting sexually abused and murdered out there? Moss is a fucking idiot, Im sorry, but he is. Then he gets so pussified and tells me "I'm being rude to him"


Moss lived a white privelidged life...ALL HIS FUCKING LIFE! he lives in Hollywood, he does not work. He has a nice car. He has an IMAC. IPHONE, he has roth IRAS. he has a pretty pleasant life. not once did he ever experience anything nasty, except maybe being called an ignorant asshole. that stings. its rude and nasty. has he ever struggled? oh, maybe when his brother refuses to sign a contract so that their mothers property can be divided for all his kids, therefore giving moss more money. oh the struggles. has he ever been beaten, raped? has he ever had a gun pulled on him? has he ever had to sell his body for money to eat? has he ever had to really struggle or feel true horror? nope! he thinks all of life is just swell, and things like that just do no exist.


The worse thing that has ever happened to him is when I called him an ignorant asshole. The horror!

Moss, are you aware that 'artists' use occult, masonic and egyptian themes in their videos?"
-Moss ""I disagree"

this is not a photoshopped image from a fan SHE put this up there. lady gaga put the 666 on her own forehead!

Synch #4

Synch #4...while looking through my myspace photos for the michelle rodriguez one, i saw an old selfie taken with the old fashioned flip phones! ha! anyways, i was going to post it on fb, but didnt. later i saw mallory post a flip phone selfie. how odd is that!??!

another synch

So...today at church, Patrick told us that he went to NYC with another girl and her friend from the church, (Idk who...) but he said that they went to the Museum of Natural History...well, today, Night at the Museum was on the free HBO, and well, its about a night in the...MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY!!

what are the odds!??!

Dear Instagram Models

She is really annoying. Why does she talk in that voice? And she is doing this video with her boobs out, but later she says she uses her boobs 'to trick people into watching her videos'. she reminds me of jenna marble, 'how to trick people into thinking you are good looking'  and at the end she says leave comments below, but then the comments are disabled. she is embarrassing to listen too, imo. why does she care about 'instagram models' or 'fat people', or 'black people'...she does it in a condescending manner too. shes just annoying!



She 

Eyeliner smudge synch

Oh my goodness, so I just googled, 'how to keep your eyeliner from smudging'....well, I see that we have free HBO previews, so I turned the channels on and I stopped it on Furious 7, (with Michelle Rodriguez). Well, after I googled that, I looked up and there is a scene with a girl with major smudged eyeliner in the movie, as if she were crying..?? 

oh yeah, the other day, i was talking to my parents about how there are singers that lip synch, (LIP SYNCH! lip sing?? SYNCH!! HA!) and I mentioned CC music factory, (because I remember they used a fake singer or something, right!??!) well, at that moment i look up and we pass a building with a CC on it. lip SYNCH!!!

eyes, ozzy

Ozzy glasses

So, three times the thought of ozzy glasses came to mind, (also, said the word 'eager' today and heard it on youtube later. its not a word you hear much of..)..

oh yeah, we went to hibachi with my aunt deanna and then we saw Risen at regal later.

so yeah, mike came over and we were going to watch netflix but it wasnt payed so we put on youtube, and as usual, he wanted to watch howard stern, so we watched the bigger wigger one and the guy called howard an ozzy ozbourne wannabe with his glasses. (ozzy glasses)

i am watching this asmr video eye exam...also, i decided to google vintage 80s eyewear, and a site for vintage glasses came up and one of the style is round eyeglasses like ozzy. so i go back to look at asmr and this is what i see:

work

I told them yesterday that I was interested, but I should of waited. Pros and cons.

I am going to start off with cons. I hate the hours. I was planning on collecting unemployment after I got layed off, and I am moving into housing soon. If you are not working, then the cost of housing is only 50.00 a month, as opposed to 30% of your paycheck. Not bad, I know...but I would need a job anyways. I will not be able to keep my foodstamps, (or it will be deducted drastically). I will lose my medicaid. I will be stuck working for months. I will not be able to go on trips.

Pros! Ok, so I am really not about government handouts, and I really do want to better myself. I do not want to be one of those folk that taxpayers complain about. I am a taxpayer, but personally, people on welfare do not bother me. I don't get upset about my taxes going towards people in government housing or on food stamps, because I feel that it really does not affect me? I know that they take out for state taxes and local taxes, and whatever else they do, (I forget at the moment), but it is so miniscule and I get that back anyways. But, you know that there are always going to be people complaining about welfare folk, or whatever. I do not want to be someone who refuses to work because I want to keep my cheap ass medicaid and food stamps. The truth is, I will be making good money with this job, and, after it slows down, I will have Fridays off, including Saturday and Sunday. I will have a weekly income. Food stamps? I can afford my own food, I'm sure. Medicaid? This company offers a better insurance option then Medicaid. I can now find a dr in a classier office like coventry, instead of one in the dark basement of a medicaid drs office. I have dental now tho, and if I want dental at my job, it will probably cost more, and..can I take days off? I will have daytime hours, but I like to sleep till noon, (if I get home at 330)...

Also, here is another thing. Right now, yes, I am on probation, (for five years)...I am still on SASY....(weekly drug and alcohol testing)...I do not have my license and I am going to sell that peice of junk car. The way I am trying to see it is, I am not intending to stay here as a lifelong, dedicated union worker. I do not want to be a Jeanie, or another person working to retire in a good, ol' fashioned, where the girls are, American sewing company....for LIFE!!! Ughhhh...it will be good on a resume, I suppose, but it is just not what I want to do with my life. I remember a time in my life when I was interested in artistic..endeavors. I remember a time in my life when I was excited about learning. I was going to school for graphic and web design. When did my dreams subside?

I feel like telling everyone at my job who keeps asking me if  I got hired, or if I want to work there...I want to tell them, "Look, the only reason why I am even here in the first place is because I can't leave the state! I am stuck here because  I have weekly drug and alcohol testing! Otherwise, I sure as hell would not be here!"

I might as well be getting payed more if I am going to be working, (I would get a raise of course)...so, while I am stuck here, I should just work for the time being...RIGHT!??! I am just going to continue to work, save up money, and wait until I...A.) am off of Sasi! B.) get my license back.

I might as well work, if I am stuck, and cant drive. I dont want to be stuck in the projects, i would rather occupy my time working, I suppose. Like I said, I am not planning to stay here forever, just for the time being, since I am limited anyways.

So, the boss asked me if I was interested in getting hired. I was sort of caught off guard so I could feel my face sort of cringe, even tho I really do appreciate being asked. I am even considering it now that the idea has actually been put in my head. I am not sure who to talk about this with tho. See, I....I do not really like the hours. I got out of work at 3am, and right now, it is almost 430 am, and I have to go to sleep soon. I prefer to come home, and have a bunch of time to do shit instead of just go right to sleep. I will be getting my place soon, so I am looking to cook dinner for myself, join the gym again.

On one hand, well, I am not ready to commit to a full time job. See, the only thing really stopping me from heading on out to wherever I want, is this fucking probation.

I am so limited anymore. It is very tough. I am a gypsy at heart, so I do not want to be confined. I want to be able to take trips....right!??

Here's the thing tho, after 6 months, I get a week payed vacay, and after 1 year, I get 2 weeks payed...

Also, it doesn't mean this will be my job for life!???! 

I can't let that happen. I do want kids, and I am getting too old tho......ughhh

I want to travel while I still can!?? You know? This is hard. I feel like I should tell them I am interested....

i am very tired tho. we will see!??!

synchronicites? (or something more....)

so....when i was watching the grammys with my parents the other day, my mom made an inquiry. "how come no one has their families with them?" at that moment, ed sheeran won a grammy, and made an acceptance speech and thanked his parents, who, as he said, go to the grammys with him every year. the camera then cuts away to a couple, which assumedly were, his parents...so i said, 'no look, see? thats his parents right there!"

(forgot to mention, talking about the grammys i look up and see 'graeme' someone on this shows last name)

today i woke up and turned on the tv. hollywood live is always on, so i watch that. they said that the couple that looked like ed sheerans parents WERE NOT! so i googled it and yep, aint his parents. but...its just weird, how the conversation was, and that just happened at that time....idk...synchronicity or whatever!?? Its like THEY answered me, saying, nope you are wrong...its not his parents after all!. fake parents. FAKE LIVES! ITS ALL FAKE!!!!!! grammys, winning, bringing family...that aint real family. its a bunch of mind controlled LIES

now that i look at it, and examine the 'fake parents' they LOOK like they would be a good english mum... and dad( the dad actually looks like dennis hof, and dennis best friend RON jeremy was in the audience...moss told me ron went)...but...they remind me of extras...i feel like this was some sort of coded message...but what?? (this is our side, this is your side, sort of msg... ((they just said that EXACT thing on survivorman, also...synched up with words and other thoughts..))i keep hearing communication on this survivorman show, everything i am thinking about ,seems to be answered on this show. wow i sound like a paranoid schizophrenic!??! 

looks like dennis hof, his bff ron was actually at the grammys that night (another hidden msg?)

on hollywood live, they were talking about the apple refusing to unlock the iphones to the FBI, but they started talking about how they can listen in on conversations using our smartphones.

did they hear my mum and i's conversation, and did a little spin on it? (yes!??!) but question is, how? how can they hear our conversations? my parents have old phones, flip phones, not smart phones!? i certainly do not have one....so how?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3450289/Awkward-Cutaway-Ed-Sheeran-s-parents-showed-complete-strangers-picked-Song-Year-Grammy-thanked-family-support.html

another weird thing, moss said than BRANDON is in LA and they went out last night, to the sushi place i saw that actor at (but moss was with me, so he saw 'that actor' too)...i forgot the name of 'that actor' but i remember he works on robot chicken...

i was like, 'brandon!? brendon??" 

BRECKIN!! breckin meyer....yes, thats who...

then i said, 'brendon, brandon, brindon'

then i showed moss a pic, from tom goes to the mayer...WHOA!! mayer! mayor! i spelled breckin MAYER i think!??? breckin MAYER...its MEYER!????! MAYOR! TOM GOES TO THE MAYOR!!!

well, today i saw adult swim posted this:

is adult swim fucking with me again??? 

puffing cars

its typical to start your car up a few minutes before you intend to drive in this cold weather, because it gives it a chance to warm up. i think that as a second back up the driver should have a button that will stop the driving, giving the theif time to pull over before the car shuts down. it should then LOCK the theif in the car, and thanks to GPS the cops will get the theif in no time.

RIHANNA - #ANTIdiaRy (#R1, #R2, #R3, #R4, #R5, #R6 and #R7) Without IamT...

creepy video about how rihanna was programmed to become a tool of the occult elite to send her coded songs....the braille represents the elites hidden language, gold is sun worship....keys and crown covering her eyes as a girl, also alter personalities...her blood sacrifice that had to be done...her being turned into this tool for the occult illuminati..hate that word...whatever they are...



cree

TRIPPY LED ROOM

Ive always liked Blacklight shit (even tho its teenage years happening all over again LOL!) remember that tho, hanging out at someones house thats decked in a bit of blacklight!?? i dont like all the bob marley weed stuff tho im more of a fan of LED and glowy stuff this place tho! its inspiring me to decorate my place in LED, even the disco lamp! would be so cool to have a few friends over and just chill!

looking for someone fun, adventurous, open minded, silly, good heart

i need to find someone who wants to explore with me. run around the world! take trips..

have picnics in the summer, go tubing in the winter, fireplace! 

i just...i am over mike. like, he just...hes too miserable. he  brings me down. yes i admit, right now i am at a standstill in my life. i do not own my life right now. very boring. i cant drive. i am at my parents house. i do not drink (which is fine, i dont need to or care too), i work stupid hours, 10 hour days 5 days a week till 3am. it is cold out. 

but soon, yes, i want to enjoy life again. 

i want to feel happy and excited about things. 

i miss hanging out with girl friends. i miss bonding, connecting.

laughing, chilling.

i miss flirting, feeling attracted to someone. talking too.

talking to someone who actually LISTENS!


i miss doing things. going places. 

experiencing.

i really hope i meet someone soon. someone who makes me feel absolute! complete! (jk thats cheesy)...but yeah!????!

My (ASMR) ambulance ride

Welcome! I would like to share my story from last Monday, when I just about fainted and had 911 called for me. I went to work as usual, but began feeling very overwhelmed, as we now have helpers that get in the way more than help. Let me explain real quick...I like to work alone. I am not getting payed to train anyone, and I am not a supervisor, so I do not feel as if I have to add training new people to my list of tasks that I have to do at my job. It is already a struggle trying to find the correct file which holds the style that we need to print out. We get sticky labels, or orders, as I call them, and it has a code on it. The code is supposed too, and I say this lightly, tell us where we have to go to find the order. Of course, it never matches up, and we have to go by what we feel is the right one. It is a real confusing mess. After we find the matching file for what is on the label, we then have to read the materials that are needed for the team we are printing out. For example, for the Mariners, the colors are glitter silver over Navy, or vice versa, depending on what it calls for. I will then go to the fabric section, which are on rolls and we use a cutter and the table to measure a sheet out to 36 or 40", depending on whether it is for letters or back numbers. Letters are about 2.5 inches, and back numbers are 8 inches. Front letters are 4 inches. So, for back numbers, it fits about 40, (10 per row), on a sheet, so I always cut it to 36", or else there would be extra material. For letters, I go for 40", because it will fit more. Nesting takes 4o, but I am not going to explain what that is. Then, I highlight the cut through part and the kiss cut part. Kiss cut does not cut all the way through, allowing the first layer to be peeled back and the bottom layer shows through. I forgot to say that PSA means plastic sticky...something, and that layers over the bottom layer, if it is two colors. After the whole sheet prints out, (say, I have to print out the letters, I print them from A-Z, and the amount of letter each needs. Then I pull out the tray and the other tray is under the printer and the lazer cutter ready to be printed out. This reminds me of a tray of cookies, fresh out the oven, and you are supposed to pick them off the layer. The letter A could have, say, 85 pieces, while the letter B may only have 56, (they go by the names of the baseball players)..so I always count in groups of 50, and I count them as I pluck them off the layer. Then I rubber band the group of 50. This helps me keep track of how many there are. Alot of times, it might be very big orders, like 215 needed letters, so it is easy to keep track when they are all grouped in 50. Picking them off and counting the letters and numbers is a very simple, easy process. You pick them off, count them, and put a rubber band around them. Oh yeah, the last one, you have to 'weed' them, which means peel off the layer so the weeders know which way they go, because sometimes they can be reverse. I will include a picture shortly. Now, the helpers are supposed to do this, while we print them out. They are also supposed to make us the sheets when as needed. I really do not want helpers, because they get in the way. Also, they keep giving me new helpers. It is such a strenuous, time consuming chore to have to explain to a new person every week what needs to be done on their part. I had a main helper, who just recently started using his own printer, (thank God! because I was explaining to him and showing him how to print and use the computer himself), but this guy...let me tell you, he has terrible hygiene. He smells like onions and crusty urine, mixed with sweat and a sheen of shit. His breath smells like he just ate pepperoni and salami. It is just so disgusting! I showed him how to do it himself just to get him out of the way. I know, it sounds mean, but it is the truth! Also, everyone I try to explain how to pick and count, do not count while they are picking! They count prior (is it that hard to just count while you pick or peel them off the layer?), and sometimes other helpers come over and it becomes a mess because no one is grouping them in 50, and they forget the peel off the top layer....it is just so annoying! How hard can this be!???!

Back to the emergency and ambulance. So, last Monday I went to work, and I had a free half hour to myself before Mr. Onion pants arrived, and then he stood too close and was staring at what I was doing on the computer, which felt like he was invading my space. I was trying to figure out exactly what I was doing from the person before me, I have to take over their jobs  (what they were working on), so it takes a while for me to get my bearings.

Well, as I was saying, Kerry (the guys name, and he is a nice guy. I am not trying to be rude or mean, he just smells terribly), was right there, and I started feeling very anxious and panicky, and the supervisor (Caroline is leaving so we have a new one, who never introduced himself to me), he brought over a bag of numbers I did last week, to tell me they were wrong and I had to redo them. Well, I was not the one who got the material. David and Bradley did. The bottom color was 'fire red' and at the time, they must of thought fire red was the Spring Training, but it was a color I have never used or seem before, but I printed it out so I put my initials on it. Mary was showing me how to cut it out with the printers because this type was very tricky. I started feeling very light headed and white. I was trying to pay attention but I started feeling very weak, so I sat down. I could not get up (sync, he just said he sat down on fox news, he sat down with a debater) idk...but yeah, I felt bad, so they were going to help me to the breakroom, and I fell back. Mary and Jeanie were holding me but I just could not stand, so I fell back, and Janet the supervisor came over from the other department and she called 911. Someone put a coat over me, which smelled like sweat. I was like, 'ugh this is not my coat!" I think it was onions coat! I do not really remember much, except Jeannie was being very nice and held me and said I am like a daughter to her, (we work together and she just lost her son in law. She gave me a ride to Sheetz the other night because we got out early)...so, the paramedics arrived.

They asked me a few questions, and they lifted me on to the stretcher. It was kind of weird and embarrassing to be on the stretcher at my job. I have to admit, I do like being rolled around in the ER, hopped up on morphine and in my hospital bed, (like I did when I had my miscarriages, sadly)..I do not like having that happen to me, but being rolled around in the ER is kind of relaxing to me. But this was not the hospital, this was my job, with the bright flourescent lights, co-workers, and equipment and printers. This was my job!?

I saw Veselin, (the Bulgarian mechanic I always talk too), leading the way to the exit for the paramedics. They asked me my age and they did not believe me. Janet told them I was 20. 

The ambulance was outside, and they rolled me onto the ambulance, the legs folding up. I was laying in this stretcher in the back of the ambulance, not really feeling in dire need of emergency medical assistance. I was just intending to go home early.

There were two paramedics, a woman who was plain and a man with long, curly dark hair, sort of looked like a rocker. The woman squeezed by foot in an act of reassurance and went to the drivers seat, while the man stayed in the back. He was very joky and friendly, and was telling me about how him and his wife do a haunted house every year. Later they asked me about my gummy bear earrings and when they rolled me into my hospital room, they asked me about my weird nj tattoos and he showed me his halloween haunted house tattoo and he saw my halloween tattoos.

It was pretty neat. He put an IV tube, first in my hand but failed, then in my vein. 

I was in the emergency room room for hours! Hungry and having to pee.
They did have me pee in a weird toilet thing, like a kids toilet but bigger, to do a pregnancy test. Not pregnant, but I knew that.

Took blood. Turns out, I have two different blood cell sizes. Too big and too small. what the heck!??

mixed anemia.

ok i wrote enough! exhaust..(i wrote asmr but it really wasnt. oh well!)

Santigold - Who Be Lovin' Me ft ILOVEMAKONNEN [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Santigold - Chasing Shadows [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Santigold - Banshee [OFFICIAL AUDIO]

you know when i will start feeling ALIVE again..



when i get my LICENSE back...



when i have the freedom to DRIVE wherever, whenever (that term sounds like a spell ick)



- when i am OFF SASY



- when I can go on TRIPS AGAIN! TRAVEL!!



- start wearing MAKEUP AGAIN!



- startt WORKING OUT and EATING HEALTHY AGAIN!!!



yayah!

Gwen Stefani - Used To Love You

I saw this video posted on facebook before and i was like, that is....weird..anyways, i went to the casino mall today and i heard a song that sounded like spiderwebs by no doubt, so i just watched it and i was thinking...i miss that old gwen, when she looked NORMAL and cute, now she is all fashionista, but you know what, i like this video because it reflects her emotions, such as...why!? confusion...and then hope...you know, all those emotions humans get when they get stirred by relationships. i do not experience those emotions anymore, but I USED TOO (love you!)...i do not experience...anything anymore. my life consists merely of working till 3 am, sleeping, living at my parents, hanging out with them. i no longer really LIVE or EXPERIENCE, i am becoming a shell, but i cannot let that happen! yes probation and sasy are taking away my memories of feeling...anything. i do not experience anymore. i was going to rant about my job but i just dont feel like it.



when, (and if..) will anything change? will i ever feel raw, emotions again, excitement? curiousity? happiness, attraction...love!?? mmm...studies say, um...no...



not as long as you pretend chipper while feeling...whatever

lousiana flower

-flower, bloom
SUPERBOWL
LOUISIANA-
fleur de lis (louisiana)
beyonce (louisiana mama)

superbowl commerical
jeff goldblum (BLOOM), lifted up lil wayne or WEEZY (louisiana)
FLOWER
coldplay, florals, color theme FLOWER POWER
coldplay FLOWER OF LIFE
twirling flowers
BLOOMING FLOWERS
fluer de lis (lily flower)

significance and connections

white horse.

so....tonight they aired the OJ simpson show on FX and it is about OJ (the juice....fruit of the SUN orange, SUN WORSHIP, luciferian, LUCIFER luz luce....in the WHITE BRONCO/white horse....BRONCOS, ride the white horse....LUCIFER behold a pale horse..

of course they show this episode a few days after the superbowl

as predicted, beyonces theme was rebellion and it tied into the 50 anniversary of the black PANTHERS (carolina panthers)...cam NEWTON, newton is the last name of the black panther leader...HUEY NEWTON...sweet caroline is the theme song of the carolina panthers...which was made about caroline kennedy who was pictured as a young girl on top of a white pony...

this is all in sackcloth and ashes videos about the superbowl etc. 

Queen Columbia dethroned

basically, the crane that fell in QUEENS represents the deceptive sorceress, DAVID WITCH was the wall street worker who was killed, the only one killed. (the other two, their names are significant too but i dont feel like finding out the names)...david means beloved and witch means sorceress, this occured in QUEENS, the QUEEN being DETHRONED, miss universe, COLUMBIA/Statue of Libery-NYC...the love letter from Yahweh is as follows, the CRANE landed on WORTH street right next to CHURCH street. The deceptive one/sorceress will be dethroned, FALL and the RIGHTEOUS one will win. CHURCH! not organized religion, but Jesus. watch the sacks and ashcloth video...deciphering the signs. 

and rest in peace David Witch, the name does not mean he was a bad person. it was the signficance behind this little sign from God.

EDIT: thomas o brien from EASTON (i wonder if one of the injured from Easton PA?) that would be a sign...

Go to church!

laying in bed on the internet, 233 am....my parents want me to go to church but i dont wake up early anymore! i love these videos because he really deciphers current events and transcribes them to what they mean. Love letters from Yahweh. i wanted to share what happened the other day at work. well, this past week we started getting helpers, and well, i do not really want any, but what can i do? they distract me and get in the way. but it keeps me from sinking into the utter depths of depression that i usually do when i am working by myself for the most part. the week before was one of those nights, and my thoughts get the best of me. when i was working, before the helpers, and before i was running 4-6 printers a night (it used to be just 2), i had time to think about everything in my life that i regret. not having a baby at 19, (i think about that one all the time, when im at work..wondering why is this my life? my dui also set me back, alot)...i think about how i could of just gotten married to danny...all of that...(i wonder if somehow, he reads this blog?) hmm...i was thinking of my grandfather, from my fathers side , and i wanted a sign from grandpa. often when i ask for things, its the opposite that happens. on my way back from the break room, i almost ran into this little hispanic woman who was wearing a blue do-rag (just like my kokum used too! kokum, cocoom...not sure how to spell it!??, thats cree or algonquin for grandmother) a sign! from my cocoom, my grandmother from my mothers side! later i told my parents that story ,and they had a synchronicty that relates to what i just told them. they said that someone commented on a post and both my mom and dad replied, saying the same thing (although they did not realize they did at the time) SYNCHRONICITY!...and the post was about the native words for grandfather and grandmother. jimshus (grandfather) and COCOOM (grandmother!) that just tied together the sign i was asking for, although it was switched to my grandmother from my moms side. :)

Stephen King themes

I am reading this new book called Bazaar of Dreams. I always notice common themes. Such as...a childhood gang of friends. "Stand by Me, It,' etc etc...big sister/baby brother "short story in bazaar of dreams, pet cemetary", there is a commercial for silk almond milk where there is an almond face plant that is alive, that always reminds me of this silly stephen king story i read about inanimate object coming to life, such as galactic flowers from another dimension. he also writes about cars alot, possessed cars, demon cars. his stories always takes place in maine. bangor maine, other places in maine. maine maine maine!

im sure he has more themes, im just tired. his characters all sort of seem the same too....idk