wiped out

sometimes its comforting to just lay on the couch all day, in fuzzy pjs and have tomato soup. i am so wiped out, my body is very weak. i feel depressed and on the verge of crying. more later....

how to recognize a controlling person

everything i am reading, makes me think of mike. in fact today he made a scene at wegmans again. last time he walked out so he had it in his thick head that we would fight. he wanted to get food so we got two bowls i had gotten this pasta bowl but changed it since he wanted his asian bowl and something else which was sushi. then he wanted ice tea so we went to get iced tea. that was fine but he went right for the biggest gallon of plain iced tea. why couldnt he ask me, "what do you feel like having?" id of said, peach tea. i said, 'not that kind" he got mad, put it down, huffed up, put the food down and started walking out, all the time calling me selfish, bitch, this and that. mood swings! its written in this article::

http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Controlling-Person

anyways, im going to my sisters tonight. i thought mike and i were going to hang out tonight but i know we never will just chill and have a good time. he wanted me to sleep over thurs night which i did. friday he asked me to go to dinner. we go to friendlys of course (not my choice but whatever you know? i dont like family restaurants really)...but it was nice we had ice cream. but he always works on saturdays so he went to sleep early, (actually he fell asleep during a movie), and i am just sick of being by myself friday nights while he sleeps, but he would not let me leave. i told him i was going  and he called me bitch and selfish.

CONTROLLING!! and he keeps telling me he wants me to get a job and things will be good. well maybe that is not what i want anymore you know? since he took my stuff down this does not feel like my house!

Salad Fingers 9: Letter

its a new salad fingers!

cereal and bulimia?

recently lady gaga was seen wearing her meatsuit and looking rather chunky. she than addresses everyone by tweeting a pic in her underwear (her body is normal, not fat!) saying she has been bulimic for years. i wonder if the cheerios in the one video was symbolic of bulimia?

before

after

 here is a pic of jeffree star, who is puking up cereal:

EDIT: notice gaga looks a little amy winehouse in that pic she tweeted?

An Idiot's virgin Burning Man experience

podcast

it seems like, during the nighttime hours, those minutes before one drifts into sleep, or during those dreams, or before completely waking up, is when you are most creative. the reason why i say this is because often i have the best ideas. i come up with fashion ideas, stories, even songs and raps. last night i kept thinking about a podcast, (because tumblr has podcast option) but i was thinking, what would it be tho? most ppl who podcast have someone, an amigo, chatting alongside with them...guests etc. so i was thinking, i can come up with guest! i would need to research regions and countries and cultures and accents etc, lifestyles. last night i was thinking of having a guest on, an italian bellisimo, named bellisano (i dont know!?!) so i was like, "Hi! Today we have Bellisano, who just moved here from Italy" so then i would introduce her, and it would be me, you know, speaking as if im her, with accent and all, talking about growing up in a big family, going to school and helping my family with the farm and the store we owned. i had this conversation going on in my head. then, i ask her if she has any special talents, which she does. she can freestyle rap.

"so they say its here the end of the year were in 2012 celebrate drink your beer listen up they say the stars in the sky they fall for us dont ask why, we try to understand yet we cant so we cry..before we realize, open your eyes, waiting for the surprise, for real, look behind you IN THE SKY ITS ALIVE!" then, she would be like, no look! LOOK!!

and i would be like, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! UFOS~!" and that would be the end of the podcast (i was thinking of having the part of never ending ory, where she goes, "we were with you, when you ((this part, where she starts talking to bastian))http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUttwzazq30

i wanted that part to play real subtle while she is rapping...

NEXT GUEST!!! vanilla from burning man

so i came up with vanilla's character, it was funny tho. she was talking about burning man, but all she talked about was the druggies, burnouts, wacked out characters, and dirty orgies haha! free love! she had a character. "so, how was burning love"

"Burning love, i tell ya what, ya need to be there! ya aint gonna know what burning man is about until ya there, ya know? everyones in their own world we are in our own world

((click on link))

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB5DjLk10Zs


anyways, i had this conversation going until she started talking about the burning man...

"Yeah there a burning man, in the desert amiss the nonstop whirlwind of sand. the burning man, burning man," Vanilla chants in a low pitched hum, in which her eyes suddenly open widely. "Ah!", she grunts.

What is it? I am wondering...

"The burning man,"Vanilly whispers, "He has come."

I see her eyes focusing on the living room behind me, and I start to smell smoke. I turn around to see the living room is full of smoke and fire. How could this be?

"What is this!??" I begin to question frantically, while the podcast suddenly shuts our interview off.


AND THAT WOULD BE THE END OF THAT!

reason why i am thinking of podcasts is cuz i listen to "RJ And bley suck at girls' in which they always talk about how they strike out with girls.

ya know!? i have been creepily hitting on bley whenver i can via internet HA! im dumb and weird tho. its like, 'ugh what the heck?" you know? i wonder what kind of girls they like. probably DIY hiptsers with pinterests, and when i was in the show a half hour ago i was thinking of  a rap

well i was thinking, acknowledge us idiots! see, if i was to do a podcast (if anyone even listen) first of all, ppl like to feel special, they like to be acknowledged, getting a shout-out on a show or talk show or whatever, makes us happy. it can make our day. we can submit questions to their tumblr/podcast, but they never answer them online! i'd say, answer WHILE doing the show, not just on the blog page. that will have us more inclined to tune in every week, in case we hear you acknowledge and answer our questions ON AIR! people want to feel like they matter. so, thats one thing...

now, another thing, i wonder if they like those type of girls...you know, the kind of girl who is too reserved to act a fool! but is college educated, hip...all those degrees of femaleness. you know, I DONT KNOW i think of all kinds of things cuz im bored and i have nothing going for me! DAMN!

so i thought of this girl, from save the kales:

this is her blog:  http://savethekales.wordpress.com/

its jamie k! from save the kales! perfect girl for those kind of guys...

shes very pretty and shes a vegan, she has her own blog and television show on PBS about vegan cooking. right!??

i made up a stupid rap in the shower:

your interested in DIY pinterest girls what about those who listenin, you aint missin them, why you aint kissin them?

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL I AM TALKING ABOUT!??!? I REALLY DONT! i have NO CLUE what this blog is even about or supposed to be about!??! WOW!!!??!?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt On Halloween & "Lincoln" - CONAN on TBS

seconds after being asked about halloween, he covers his eye (why did he do that?)

animated gifs i just made

A CLUE!

satanic rituals in hollywood

i was listening to last weeks podcast and one guy called in and asked nik about satanic worship in hollywood, and nik dismissed it as if he was asking about "s&m type sex" involving cutting up during sex, so i submitted this post. im surprised he posted it:

http://thedirty.com/2012/09/satanic-rituals-in-hollywood/#comments

funny election skits

funny...

i need to post links tho because playlist comes up and i HATE WHEN IT DOES THAT!

americas undecided voters (snl)
http://www.hulu.com/watch/404175#iundefined,p0,d2

president obama doesnt exist (conan)

The theif of always

HOLLYWOOD, turn this into a movie! i read it when i was 16 and i have been waiting for it to be a movie, so do it!

http://www.clivebarker.info/yathiefbk.html

Tres Equis(SNL)

OH MY GOSH HOW FUNNY!!! and moss wants to do the most interesting man spoof. i need to be in it now! but this is funny, but much clear on hulu...http://www.hulu.com/watch/404161

P'burg native equals hells kitchen winner..

my cousin knew her....shes in philly now but the winner of this years hells kitchen, is from phillipburg nj...

 

http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/the-insider/Phillys-Christina-Wilson-wins-Hells-Kitchen-season.html

monday

hey its monday. sigh...i guess i will post real quick...about the wknd. hmm...well, so friday, i had a photoshoot during the day. i actually had one today too but i didnt feel like doing it. anyways, so then...mike came home and told me he was once again working saturday morning. i was upset because i wanted to do something. what? i dont know? seamarina wanted to hang out tho, so i drove to meet her, although i do hate doing that. she always wants to meet at the bethlehem walmart so i can park and we usually drive to wherever, but erghh that is so irritating!! i just hate feeling helpless, like i cant leave when i want you know? and she always talks about getting a slice of pizza or going to the casino. i didnt want to go to the casino!!??! and its takes forever for her to find a spot. she has a big ranger type vehicle. i'd prefer to take my car and meet there, you know? anyways, we went to tally-hos. some drunk guy cut in front of me while i was waiting to get a pitcher of beer, and i said, "can i go since i was here first?" and he acted like an asshole so i was starting to get really annoyed, and the girl bartender served him first anyways. ugh. well, we ended up talking to these gay guys who were really cool and fun they were sitting at the table opposite us. they told us they were going to be at your welcome inn. so we stayed and she ordered some shots. ugh..raspberry bacardi shots. oh, and i cant smoke straight up newports either! too strong! i smoke newport lights, when i do, and she kept giving me cigarettes! so we finished our shots, (she poured the shots from a cup so we had extra.) well we went to your welcome but she had to walk slow cuz she was wearing heels she cant handle, or whatever. we found the gay guys and hung out with them for a bit, it was fun tho. but i had to go home but we went to walmart. some straggler straggled along, (i have no clue?) we went and walked around walmart but i wanted to go home. finally i was able to leave, (think they went to the casino), when i got home tho, all my stuff was in the kitchen. mike was upset with me. he texted me to tell me he had a panic attack and tried to call me. i crashed next day he was all pissy and he told me i had to be out by 7. i was supposed to take pics of scott and the band but mike told me to nevermind about that. so i was like, whatever. so i got out of there. i went to my parents and met jimmy by the delaware, (his nickname, like the hot dog stand!) we packed up some beers, (cuz were cheapskates!) and walked to riverside. it was weird because i met mike because of jimmy and going to riverside, about 3 years ago...we saw the fireworks on the bridge, was nice. jims cool, we were friends back then, we'd chill/drink beers/talk about aliens etc. it was raining tho, ran into sarah and dean, lisas ex boyf, there...blah blah blah...met this girl named amber i got her number. she hooked up with jimmy other time she asked if i was into him i was like, 'nah' and explained my situation with mike. oh yeah, mike r. showed up, even tho he doesnt drink. but anyways, just hung out there, someone told me i looked like one of the manson girls!? i wasnt wearing makeup and my hair was scraggly, oh yeah ppl always ask me how old i am too its kind of annoying you know cuz everyone thinks im like, 22 or something like that...finally a bunch of us walked back to brainards. i just went to sleep tho. tried to call mike but he was already passed out at that point. so sunday i was supposed to do a music video with shannan and her sister, some band...(shannan was going to do makeup) but of course i just slept. in fact, i havent slept like that in years! i slept on the temperpedic and slept till 230! damn!! i never sleep like that! well, mike wanted me to come make dinner, so around 545 i went there. took a shower there too bcuz the water here has no pressure! i made the salmon w, ginger, garlic, soy sauce..lemon, s/p, brown wild rice, and mushrooms sauteed in olive oil...mike wanted to get a movie so i didnt get to watch the emmys. we rented a STUPID movie called 'chatroom' and mike fell asleep anyways! i left the laptop here too...but it was ok, i slept there last night. he wants me back now. he misses seeing me when he gets home. i think a break is good tho....i mean, i need some time off too. and the fact that he took all my decorations and magnets and my bulletin board, dreamcatcher, christmas lights etc, down...that was kind of shitty you know? that made me feel bad. it doesnt seem like my place anymore, it seems like his place. i mean, i would rather have my own apartment and mike and i can stay over each others place. so that was that....i felt like there was more i had wanted to write but i guess not. im at my parents now. sooooo.....thats that, basically.

oh no!??

so, i said i saw this posted on the dirty,com remember? well, I DIDNT POST IT! hmm...ghostradio did...but this is weird...it says "Thanks L.B." at the end...who is L.B?
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/09/tila-tequila-is-hooker.html

now tila isnt on facebook now. i used to do investigating with her but i feel bad doing that now. :/

i just feel bad for her. i think she does meth...and she even said that, she doesnt have real DID...i can find the comment but like i said i feel bad now...

stupid day

today was definately a STUPID day! i need to figure out what to do with my life because i am sick of this! i had a chicken with guacamole, baby spinach, and broccoli slaw whole wheat wrap, (which was hard to eat thanks to my tooth), watched a movie, had coffee, hung out on stupid facebook all day pretty much. i washed the dishes. mike told me to change catbox earlier but i forgot. i texted him to tell him i was going to make poutine but he said he didnt want any. my parents came back from canada and brought the cheese curds and gravy so i wanted to use it up. its a treat for me. mike didnt want it. so i said posted, anyone want to come over for supper? (i called it supper because everyone in canada says supper and poutine is a canadian dish). so mike r. texted me and i invited him for dinner. so then i started peeling and cutting up the potatos and heating up the oil. mike came home around 7, and he saw me on the couch and asked me if i changed the catbox. i said, no i will. he exhaled, took a deep breath and said, "what did you do all day lazy bitch?" so within one minute, i go from being in a decent mood to getting upset! and i try NOT to post it, and i realize i do this alot and ppl dont want to see that shit, but when i get upset i do because it does feel good when ppl reply ok i wont lie? well i forgot about inviting mike r. over and he just texted me to say he parked. so i understand mike must of been upset because i invited a guy  over, but hes mike rasely come on! hes a friend ive known for years, but yeah i hung out with adam saturday. these are my friends i used to hang out, but just friends! not interested! and mike r. is one of the sidekicks from back in the day. he doesnt even drink nor did he ever his whole life! i kind of was upset tho because we didnt have enough cheese and i wanted to enjoy the poutine but thats ok. mike was like, "your trying to lose weight why would you make this" im like, "MY PARENTS BROUGHT THIS FROM CANADA! I WANT TO MAKE IT SO I CAN GET RID OF IT! plus, its a guilty pleasure geez! why cant he be appreciative? mike r liked it. we ate in the basement then mike went to get the clothes out of the drier and he ordered me to bring my clothes upstairs. he ordered me too, then when i didnt reply back right away, he threw my clothes at me! i got pissed. im like, "DONT THROW MY STUFF AT ME!" why would he do that? that is not the first time he has embarrassed me in front of my friends he has done that to me so many times! he always does that to me! why cant he respect me when i have friends over? hes done that in front of relatives, its embarrassing and disrespectful you know? im WRONG!??? i changed the catbox. i dont need this shit! so mike r and i went outside to talk, basically mike r likes to talk and hes a good guy who just likes to visit his friends, and all his friends have families. he goes to their kids recitals, goes with them to the beach, philedelphia etc. we went back inside but mike was in the basement so we sat in the living room upstairs and mike r was telling me of his friend that i met who him and this girl blew 60,000.00 all summer on drugs and his friend is going to rehab now and mike r is such a straight edge but hes a loyal friend he said when he gets out he will buy his friend clothes. that is very nice of him to do that. well mike storms up and says, "Im going to bed in a half hour" then proceeds to put me down and call me bitch and cunt! he proceeds to embarrass me once again until i told mike r (he didnt seem to get the hint tho tbh)...so he left. its like, mike works alot...until 7 then he comes home. he goes right to the basement. i dont know? this isnt the life i want. i dont know what i want tho. i dont want to go back to my parents house either i wont be happy there. i dont want to take over the living room again and i wont because its not fair to my dad who now sits there since his kids are grown and gone.

ughhhh!!! i never watch glee but its on and they were doing a britney gimme more scene she was eating cheetos. so stupid!

News Anchor FAIL Compilation 2012 || PC

the still is misleading (i never saw the big boobs newreporter lol) but this is funny

meth use

interesting. i found this link while perusing the comments on that ghost radio thing...im tired tho. more later bye!

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/archive/index.php/t-540925.html

SYNCHS SYNCHS SYNCHS!

so yesterday i got a bunch (but i didnt write them, ever watch free porn online and you hear things like, 'here comes the money shot?' right at that moment? HA! yeah me neither..

but just now i clicked on a pic of someones room they dubbed 'church' but its their bedroom with a desktop computer. im thinking, how is this church? when i heard on the news CHURCH! talking about a cop who was killed a day before his 34th birthday. how sad.

a few more synchs, mike and i got in a fight last night and he said, 'leave me alone' and i followed him downstairs and some michael jackson documentary was on where that song, 'leave me alone' was on...

poison again on this podcast

HA!! so im listening to the seth green podcast, at the end, 16:38....he says "Poison"

well, he said it cuz he said tupac was renting 'poison ivy'

still!! I LOVE TO HEAR POISON YO!! (at 16:38)

http://teamcoco.com/content/team-coco-podcast-77-seth-green

Golden Lion Tamarins in the Trees at Brookfield Zoo

these are too cute!

Steampunk Style

im interested in style, but im not steampunk. i dont have a style cuz i cant afford it, but im wondering, what is steampunk? ((i would love to do a steampunk photoshoot tho, pyramid collection has some cool stuff i can get))

Steampunk is a genre that originated during the 1980s and early 1990s and incorporates elements of science fiction, fantasy, alternate history, horror, and speculative fiction. It involves a setting where steam power is widely used—whether in an alternative history such as Victorian era Britain or "Wild West"-era United States, or in a post-apocalyptic time —that incorporates elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology, or futuristic innovations as Victorians might have envisioned them, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, and art. This technology includes such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or the contemporary authors Philip Pullman, Scott Westerfeld, and China Mieville.

link to what is steampunk? http://www.mookychick.co.uk/alternative-fashion/gothic-fashion/steam_punk_style.php

some pics:

BLOGGING!

ok so...i had wanted to write this. sometimes, we write, not realizing that if we do write on the internet, people will read! i have wrote a bunch of stuff that i felt stupid about,  foolish about, got upset about sometimes we dont realize this! i dont know why i blog its just a hobby and its something that i like to do, its a stupid form of expression etc etc etc. they say, its good to make a blog, if say, about vegan cupcakes, or a DIY pinterest, *but come on, who does that?* in reality, i blog about whatever is on my mind!!!!!

so VEGAN CUPCAKES!!!

here is a recipe! (kidding, cuz i dont care about vegan cupcakes!)

9/19/12

So, im going to make this blog before days pass and I just stop blogging! Hmm...so, first off, I would like to say that, I saw a post about Tila on thedirty.com...(i might link it...). well, i guess her haters all moved to ghost radio because they are all there. i have to say, it is entertaining, but it is also quite pathetic. poor girl cant write or do anything without being analyzed to the extreme. this is what i think about tila, she had a string of fame etc, learned about MK, illuminati etc...i gave her links to the psuedo site and stuff....even on her howard stern show she made sure to say poison, and i was on howard stern show too. i know she reads this stuff. although, she doesnt seem to realize, people take screenshots of what she says! im not sure why im writing this. actually, last night i couldnt sleep because all these thoughts were in my head but now im like, ahh, why bother? i felt like i had this whole diatribe to  write but now im too lazy and distracted! im going to just focus on writing about the weekend....

so friday, mike couldnt go out cuz he was working saturday, but we got a movie had some drinks. of course, i kept drinking, but i was by myself. i hate that! i like to go out on fridays you know!??? and mike doesnt really want me going out. so, i am home by myself, since mike went to sleep. but i was feeling in a chatty social mood....so i just hang out on the internet and watch videos on youtube etc...than i start drunk posting on IB but at this point i dont get all worried and upset that i did that/. however, i ended up texting and calling that guy i like!! you know, i called him so many times! and i was drunk. wow! i need to control myself. so next day he says he was out and couldnt pick up but i feel so stupid. and i wrote on facebook, 'i drunk called this guy i like and ruined it with him' mike saw that and got pissed naturally.  sigh!

mike just never likes to do anything and its at that point where im just bored! so saturday, mike went to work. my friend adam invited me to go to a picnic. when mike came home he took out thor and mowed the lawn then he wanted to take a nap. the day was beautiful tho, and i wasnt tired. i wanted to enjoy the day. so i told mike im going to a picnic with adam. mike met adam before he is my friend from high school. so i told adam to bring his motorcycle because i LOVE motorcycle rides! so he picked me up and we went to picnic, then mike msgd me mad since he saw what i wrote and he responded with all these really awful things on my fb. we played beanbags and drank some really good sangria with adam and his friends, who was really nice and fun. but i called up mike he was mad so i told adam i had to go home. seamarina wanted to hang out that night too. i figured make plans with her because mike was mad at me and he was going to take off with scott but then mike said i cant go out with seamarina and that i can go out with him and scott. so scott came over we had a drink at the house then we took off to go to mothers. it was lame. scott wanted some promo pics taken for his upcoming punk band, 'going to hell' so i played photographer and took a bunch. after mothers we went to pickled egg. than we came back to the house hung out in the basement and outside smoking cigarettes and drinking beers. so sunday, my parents asked me if i wanted to go to wildwood. sure why not? i didnt have work monday. so, i went to my parents and then we drove 4 hours to meet aunt sally, aunt joyce, and cousin april in wildwood. it was nice! we got there late, walked around the boardwalk. next day we walked boardwalk, went to zoo. all these pics are on good ol' facebook and instagram.

got home around 9pm monday. mike and i are cool cept last night got in fight at the grocery store. i left a cart full of food because mike stormed out because i was getting irritated because he wanted me to get him all this food on my card, but thats fine.


so that was the freaking weekend. im going to make a few more posts....in a second. then i really do need to go grocery shopping. i also need this damn tooth pulled, huts alot! HUTS!!


EDIT:::: so, i had my own room at wildwood, but this was weird because i put on aqua teen hunger force, and shake was in a hotel room, which LOOKED JUST LIKE THE ONE I WAS STAYING AT!?? huh??

i was like, 'do they see me?" so weird. i would find a screencap but im too lazy. maybe later tho. i have a pic of the room too at wildwood, to show and compare.

hey

i realize sometimes i cant stop myself from blogging certain things. sigh...not sure why i do that really. anyways, i am reading over the documents from the anand jon case. wow is all i can say. i mean, i know he is a rapist and all of that, but reviewing it now, (this 5 years after his arrest in 2007) i dont know...:/

i will write more about it later i better go to sleep.

NEW POST TO COME....TOMORROW!

TOO TIRED. GOT BACK FROM WILDWOOD, AND THE WEEKEND...TIRED TOO MAKE A NEW POST. LATER I WILL!

MUST THROW IN MY STUPID BLOG SORRY! BUT HEY THIS IS THE INTERNET WORLD THIS IS WHAT WE DO!

saladworks

im quite tired now...but im going to make this blog post now before i never get around to it. so mike has been getting on my case to get a job so i put in applications where i seen hiring, such as saladworks. i requested m-f daytime hours, (which i want) so they called me in for interview but the whole time im wary of getting a job like that, idk? it looked like high school kids worked there. anyways, i was supposed to make index cards and put all the salads on it. so i did that i started on monday. ((oh yeah i noticed that conan had a skit where they had the sun, reminded me of my sun pic, then the sun was google chrome)) the other night, this is what i wrote on my facebook:

GOVERMENT YOU WATCHING US HERE ON FACEBOOK?? YES? IF SO THEN BLINK YOUR EYES 5 TIMES I MEAN....YEAH GOVERNMENT! ALL SEEING EYE!!! RIGHT? LIKE GOOGLE CHROME AND GOOGLE FIREFOX!!!!

well i am going to look for the skit now hold on...

im tired, i'll do it tomorrow...let me just finish with what i was saying. oh we are sleeping in westons comfortable therapuetic bed because they are still on vacay and we are watching thor and mogwai. anyways linksys is slow here . 

so yeah i started on monday but i didnt study the salads i didnt have them memorized and the people training me just told me what to add to the salads. it got so busy too. i didnt memorize them tuesday and i had a test on the salads. and the girls that work there are annoying. they are like, "no" all mean like, no one was nice to me. no one said, 'hi' or even gave me a warm friendly smile. they made me feel stupid too. fuck that you know! im too old to be working at food places anyways. so wednesday i actually did study the salads and memorized them and got them all right the next day on the test. i was making salads as the other manager was watching what i was doing. let me just say this however. i do know how to move swiftly and efficiently, and i prefer to obtain my own system. so its not like i am too slow. i  memorized all the salads and i wish that they would let me do it without analyzing everything and a few times i reached for carrots unsurely but i was going to glance at the cheat cards that are above the salads and the stupid girl (not the manager another one who wasnt even making salads but made me feel stupid) she would go, "no! it doesnt get carrots" 

and when it got super busy and fast they had me off the line so i could fill. also, customers would say things like, "oh your training again?" to the manager and i would feel so stupid! the first day i heard them whispering too about mistakes i made or whatever. and everyone is in the way! yes it gets busy and they have calls made so another girl, (the annoying one) had to get the call in sheets and make salads, so she would get in the way, everyone would get in the way, and im taller than the salad thing so i had to lean away from big girl in the way and then crouch down to the salad stuff and you know what? my back hurts bad! they way i was leaning in to get the salad stuff while moving out of the way, the whole thing annoys me. and it gets so busy and we cant have water by us. we could go the whole time without water...yes it was overwhelming because no one allowed me to get my system down they just made me feel stupid and told me to leave the line im too old for this. meaning, i do not want to work at a food place! 

so anyways today i kept thinking, 'i cant take this! i need to quit' so she told me to leave early i was like, 'yeah i think im going to quit' plus damn job does not pay enough!

ok so another thing, mike has been getting on my case and it is really starting to irritate and annoy me. he gets mad when im on the internet, he talks to me in a demeaning tone. i am getting sick of it.

:/ seriously, this is not what i want with my life and i am not happy!

but im tired so i am going to sleep! here is the menu that i memorized...(i do want to try the autumn harvest and sophies, and turkey club tho, and a create your own with edamame and stuff

http://www.saladworks.com/currentmenu/salads.html

Jael Strauss ANTM fan/music vid

what happens to the contestants of americas next top model? nothing it seems! we forget about them! i met a few at fashion shows and i went to india with camille, but they dont have lasting careers in the modeling world. i just read a comment which is kind of mean, well it is in this article:
((she was one of the 'crazy' ones on one of the seasons))
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/09/jael-strauss-cant-make-it-as-a-model-so-she-becomes-a-meth-addict-the-decay-of-the-american-dream/

so this girl is on dr phil and she asks why do they want her to go to intervention, she is now a meth addict very sad. she asked why? dr phil responds, "I"....of course, dr phil!

why?? because YOU deserve it. YOU deserve treatment Jael, not because DR PHIL has been doing that for years. SHE is worth more than becoming a drug addict stripper who lives in a dirty hotel room. the girl is early 20s and meth has aged her. it is so sad.

anyways, about intervention stuff, moss says, "lori i can get you on the next celebrity rehab (with normal ppl) but you know, im not that bad! im not a drug addict or a full blown alcholic (im not even a half blown alcholic), so i dont think i would be good on that show you know? ha!

and it would be weird to be on that show? you know? would i have to fake anxiety attacks and panic attacks and start crying and acting all crazy? HA!!!

((EDIT)) oh yeah, i was at a party that this caridee was at too)) here is what she has to say about it

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2202405/Its-horrific--No-takes-seriously-Former-Americas-Next-Top-Model-winner-slams-Tyras-reality-TV-hit.html

oh and you know, on ANTM tyra is always talking about SMIZING (smiling with your eyes) but on the runways and in "top" fashion magazines, the models all have dead eyes...

weird things

when i was younger i used to always draw eyes. in art class i even made an eye stencil on a mirror, which later shattered (symbolic huh?)

i always felt like i was being watched, when i was a kid and would go to NYC, i would feel like something was watching me...

we had this macrame owl that shifted into the shadows

a scary indian puppet came to life and tried to bite me

monsters came out of the tv at me one night (i had a fever tho)

anyways, this made me think of it

http://vigilantcitizen.com/musicbusiness/b-o-b-and-nicki-minajs-out-of-my-mind-or-how-to-make-mind-control-entertaining/

all seeing eye

so last night i posted the simpsons pic that had 9/11 on it, remember? on facebook and got some argumentative replies so i was like, "YOU ARE WATCHING ME? ALL SEEING EYE" well today i noticed team coco posted a new meme generator we need to make memes i made these ones

and what the heck is up with conan and my little pony?

poison on this podcast

ha! im just listening to this podcast w. aaron bleyart who works for conan....(oh im by myself tonight, mike is sleeping at westons bcuz of thor i slept there last night. i started work last night at saladworks and a girl fell back and hit her head. the manager says that happened at the other saladworks. now i have to really study bcuz i NEED TO KNOW ALL THE DAMN SALADS! ugh i dont feel like working here!

anyways, go to 21 minutes, wait until around 42 seconds after, you will hear it!

http://www.nerdist.com/2012/09/the-indoor-kids-62-team-cocoteam-sisto-w-aaron-bleyaert/

so...what does this mean?

genesis rodriguez

jk...so we watched, 'man on a ledge last night'


on american psycho they talk about genesis, the band. i just posted a video of grimes genesis. sega genesis, biggie smalls, and now THIS!?>>

i am sorry, but GENESIS RODRIGUEZ took me out of the movie! why would they use a maxim model? at first she seemed like she would be realistic but then of course, she had to wear a low cut shirt then change where she was in her bra and panties wth? and now mike's new movie crush is genesis rodriguez...

this is so annoying!

oh she was the girl from casa de mi padre no wonder she looked familiar

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1270009/

tmz and coincedences?

so, tmz posts alot of things, hidden msgs...these caught my attention:

kristen stewart (and the decoder tmz guys) hmm...hidden msgs on t-shirts?

and then a wizard of oz reference...
http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_uc5lycf1

they also did this one:

((i just want to know when they posted this one? must be recent due to the prince harry one)) they mention a facebook page too

this has hidden msgs in it and also use the kate upton pic i used:

http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_skuirmd6

MIND CONTROL VICTIMS IN HOLLYWOOD: TRUTH VLOG 4

sunday...

hey! so_____________uh oh ok...so seamarina called me and wanted to hang out. i was like, ok so she said she would be here at 930, which would be great because i actually prefer to go out earlier instead of late. so she got here at 930ish but she told me she coughed and peed a little...um ok? yeah so....she washed them and put them in the dryer. well we were waiting around for 45 minutes for her underwears to dry. you know? then she kept acting wishy washy and undecisive...it was just really annoying. so we went to eddie gs and she had cash, its a cash bar, so she got us some beers but she didnt go right to the bar so we were waiting around and she just seemed confused she kept saying, 'i dont go out much anymore' i was about to like, explode haha i dont know...damn tho! why cant i just have normal ppl to chill with!??! you know what i mean? so i was like, 'lets go to drinkys' cuz they have dancy music and its more exciting. eddie g's is like a thuggish place really. she said she didnt want to walk in her heels too much so we went to mothers. but she just kept talking about her , and how shes old now and going out isnt the same..ugh whatever! and she was so undecisive with the bartenders and she kept saying how all these girls kept saying stuff about us but bitches be bitches! if i go to a bar quite honestly, i dont pay much mind to anyone unless im with someone who acts weird, (like she was) then that gets me paranoid. i just want to have NORMAL FRIENDS! i wish i could hang out with the guy i like but you know, i live with mike. its cool hanging out with him tho! chillin, drinking beers, singing kareoke!??! idk...:/

but seamarina was really annoying me!!! it was about 1 am so we had to get going, so we got in her car, and she wanted food. she gets low blood sugar so she needs to eat, so you know, we pulled into the wawa, which was closed, so she went to dominos to order a pizza. ugh i was SO ANNOYED waiting in the car for her! all i wanted to do was go out, have fun, you know? drink a little bit, talk, dance! lol...flirt with cute guys? yeah right, aint no cute guys...i dont know. i just do not know anymore. anyways we went to the pickled egg, did a cherry pinnacle shot, then grabbed a 6 pack to go and went back to my place and watched some youtube videos.we should of just stayed at the house and got some beer and watched videos. i like drinking and youtubing it up.

so today mike and i went to ryan and emilys and burgess, we watched the eagles/bears game. eagles need to amp up their game, especially vick right? take vick out and let in knowles...(im just repeating what mike says)

we had fried chicken and iced tea. lol.

mike and i arent fighting moss reminds me of following my dreams. i made citrus tilapia and spinach with nutmeg and scalloped potatos.

OK thats all for now. sorry seamarina if you read this, but if so, HOW'D YOU EVEN FIND MY BLOG!??? ha!

Branded (2012) - Official Trailer [HD]

WATCH OBAMA'S FACE FREEZE - 'ANTICHRIST SPIRIT' CONFRONTED!

this is kind of strange...wow

Without a Face - The TSA Song

HOT! LOL....

Grimes - Genesis

this is a super duper song!

Reupload Full Version Heidi And Spencer Almost Killed By Satanic Illumin...

wow!? what the heck?

hey

im bored. everyday i think, this is not how i want my life to be. gone is any kind of excitement or looking forward to anything. i dont feel alive anymore. i don't feel thrilled, or whatever. now i am going to be working somewhere that i do not want to work at! i dont want to work at a food place with high school kids. i mean, its just a job for the time being i guess, but this is not what i want. and it sucks that i am not allowed to do anything really. mike wont want me to go out. i mean, all i do is stay home really. and on the weekends mike never wants to hang out with me. yeah last wknd we went to gettysburg but when we got back to the room he acted all tired and wouldnt even hang out with me. he doesnt turn me on. i dont know? i dont know what to do. im just bored! i want a good job, a good career. if i stick around here, what will ever happen to going back to LA? or going on trips. i never was someone to just stay somewhere and not do anything! ugh i cant stand this! tomorrow night im going out. seamarina wants to hang out. i want to start doing fun things! next weekend is a spiritual expo, and there are other holistic expos coming up, even the masonic witches ball on halloween. i want to investigate!!! oh well...whatever

No Doubt - Settle Down

i wanted mike to call me down for the no doubt performance. im mad. i wanted to see it on the hi-def....

i forgot about how much i liked no doubt. i used to listen to them in high school and wanted to emulate her style, i had these silky mandarin ska pants with zippers. i'm going to scan all my old photos soon and post them. ya dig???? I SAID, YA DIG!????! yo, word! (ugh this weirdo on facebook always says WORD its so lame man! so lame! )

my BEAST number

im not going to give it here tho!! i aint taking no mark. chop my head off than im not going to hell!

im reading this anyways...

http://educate-yourself.org/mc/illumformula11chap.shtml

Vapor Movie youtube

LOL, my dad just emailed me a video he made of my cousins, april and mary, and my aunt sally...well, their family. we are in it too in some parts. i told him to make one of our family. this song above is a song he made i remember hearing these songs in our red station wagon that smelled like cigarettes cuz he used to smoke it the car i hated it. he made the other song too but made it different, here it is if yar interested?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qZvv7ru7cA&feature=plcp

here is one of ming ming
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BCn97RgCzw&feature=context-cha

im going to tell him to put all our home movies online, like the florida trip. i feel like watching home movies....

anyways...i had an interview with salad works, so they want me to work there. its not what i want to do with my life, but its a job for the time being to save up some extra money.

im just bored you know? i want to be happy with my life, no bored!!!! :/

poison on big bang theory

this is the only place to really post this w/out sounding nutty, anywhere else. so big bang theory is on. she started saying strawberries. of course, strawberries got my attention. then, sheldon kept talking about poison. ha!! poison!

Uploaded videos (playlist)

I SAID< HERE JUST CLICK HERE FOR SOME REASON IT NEVER PUTS THE VIDEO I WANT UP. SURE WHEN ITS A DUMB AZALEA BANKS VIDEO IT PUTS IT UP OR WHEN ITS ANY OTHER VIDEO BUT WHEN I WANT TO SHARE ONE I MADE IT PUTS UP A PLAYLIST AND PUTS UP THE AUG 12 2012 WALK THROUGH THE PARK VIDEO PISSING ME OFF!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP7feWri0Ng&list=UUZKLD8VIGMqBgO2W8NIKgzw&index=4&feature=plcp

HAHA! i just made some videos of me dancing. why? im just in a goofy mood i suppose. actually, i got a new mp3 player so i put all my songs on it...(which mike wouldn't let me listen to on the way up to gettysburg we had to listen to his ERGHH)....so i was going to take the mp3 player for a walk but since its raining i just listened to it here, and i felt like taping myself dance HAHA...(plus i feel like being an embarrassment, and bored...dayum girl!) !!! so enjoy, or not..whatever!!! oh i had a sex dream about lenny kravitz....i guess cuz we just watched the hunger games lol!


((heres more links..oh i just got something in gmail it says...umc owns this? the song?? uh...dont delete it!)
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMMxSqyuc9Q&list=UUZKLD8VIGMqBgO2W8NIKgzw&index=3&feature=plcp

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQrNdyRGhxg&list=UUZKLD8VIGMqBgO2W8NIKgzw&index=2&feature=plcp

im going to make another video...why??? cuz i feel like it, and im bored, idk?!! i declare WAR!!!!! 

HERES ANOTHER ONE TOO WHAT THE HAY

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyArSkOVsPE&list=UUZKLD8VIGMqBgO2W8NIKgzw&index=1&feature=plcp

i'll make more too!! fun fun!

is kate upton hot pt 2?

so according to feedjit, lots of views on is kate upton hot? im sorry, but this:

http://thedirty.com/2012/09/and-they-say-kate-uptons-the-hottest-model-out-there/

((also wanted to mention more correlations with american psycho, mad men intro, and the hanging man, tarot card and heath ledger's joke...i'll do it later tho

EDIT EDIT:

YES IM BEING A HATER. SIGH...i found some good, albeit heavily shopped, pics of her. enjoy ya

she looks kind of saggy here

saggin

hot damn'd push up bra (i need to get a good pushup bra myself)

synchs? eye? news...

well, this is weird. so mike and i had the news on, and there was this story about this girl who was in a bar in nyc and 2 guys came in and they grabbed her bag and left. there was an accomplice who helped them. there were video cameras in the bar which depicted this. this girl never even realized they singled her out. she didnt feel anything amiss when they were standing behind her, seemingly chatting like normal bar patrons. i thought about how when i was at that club in new york, it just made me think of being singled out you know? i can always tell if something isnt right. well she didnt. the news had her walking down the street, and behind her was a man wearing a shirt with a logo, it wasn't an eye but it really looked like one. the point was made anyways...so then mike gets a text from scott. scott told him that the campgrounds that him and kimmy shared back then, otter lake...the one we stayed at that one time...someone found cameras in the shower stalls. weird huh? creepy....heres the link: http://wnep.com/2012/08/21/troopers-cameras-found-in-camp-showers/

anyways...why wouldnt the girl realize when things are not right...i was telling mike how i felt like there were paid extras at restaurants when i was in hollywood, made me think of american psycho (but only because the restaurant scenes), also vanilla sky...when the patrons were just animations. weird stuff...

so we actually watched american psycho tonight. that movie confuses me. as i was reading the wiki, i realize that bateman reads like batman. christian bale played patrick bateman, (but he seems to have other alters too)....the movie reminded me of psycho a few times too. he mentioned ed gein and i guess psycho was based off of ed gein as well. the character in psycho is norman bates, sounds similar to patrick bateman. he is a killer...batman...the batman killer....

i'll figure it out later im tired.

Passion Pit - Take A Walk

POISON TUMBLR IN THE WORKS!!

THAT IS RIGHT, FOLKS....THE POISON TUMBLR....(right, thats how you spell it??) WELL ANYWAYS...YEAH, THE POISON TUMBLR IN THE WORKS...what does it mean??? mmmnknow?? just...stuff...tumblr stuff.???? whatever....

gettysburg trip tomorrow. 2bcontinued...

Azealia Banks - Liquorice (Explicit)