i
Friday, August 28, 2020
Wednesday, August 19, 2020
i want to order some stuff from
fashion nova
flamingo
nasty gal
gap
i need to make sure i will be getting my unemployment. also..i need to go back to work. i had my d&c today it was so weird but didnt hurt. i was put under via anesthesia. at least now i can start feeling normal again. yes i miss my baby growing inside of me but i am not WILL not give up! they took blood samples as well as tissue from the uterus. were goign to do testing as to why i was getting miscarriages.
my mind is thinking good thoughts tho. i was feeling so depressed while this was going on. its a terrible feeling. also was so tired. i can feel my energy coming back now.
i need to google a few things. why do i feel heavy after anesthesia
why do i feel back to normal, more energy after dnc
why do they put that thing in your butt to open cervic. (dont while i was out)
why does antibiotics make me nauseaus
Tuesday, August 18, 2020
ORGY skin palette synchron icities
So this is really weird...last night I was watching youtube videos. I watched the new Jeffree Star one where he is showcasing his new palette, named "Orgy". its a variety of nude eyeshadows, so its like an orgy of skin tones. on the packaging, he has naked people all strewn about, (this shoot has been done many times before in photos and music videos), anyways, so i have been watching the show "Hannibal" on netflix. that show...is gory! just a warning! anyways, the episode im on now, the guy says, 'it wasnt an ORGY of evidence he was showing." then, last part of this episode, it shows a naked man, and hes stuck to a patchwork of other naked people, like the cover of the jeffree star palette, even the criminal analyst said the guy was looking for a palette of skin tones...just very...weird!??!
Thursday, August 13, 2020
[ASMR] Worst Haircut Roleplay��
i feel like if this boy was born into the elite they would transgender him and turn him into a supermodel. smh.
Tuesday, August 11, 2020
I dont know what is going on right now with my pregnancy. They havent been able to measure the baby and I am at 8 weeks!? Did it stop growing like what happened last time? I just want to know? I don't understand why they couldnt of at least searched for a heartbeat? Im really upset.
I am also stil experiencing pregnancy symptoms such as sore breasts and I am always tired all the time. I just lay around and waste the day, when I could/should be doing things.
Things I can do at home:
Write my stories, make my playlists, edit videos, print out photos..pay off bills...
this is crazy
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
blog post!??
August. HURRICANE ISAIAH
anyways, i am looking at airbnbs local, because im hoping for a photoshoot soon.
its so weird..i was ready for the summer. i kind of wanted to get pregnant but then there was a thought to myself such as, no. i dont want too. i actually had some money saved and i was talking to a plastic surgeon, local ,about getting breast implants. plus i wanted to get more tattoos as well now that the shops reopened. the one saturday, i remember...mike and i went to eat outside, when outdoor dining was a thing. we went to tacos y tequila. i remember it started raining. then sara wanted me to meet up with her downtown easton, at standard, where outdoor drinking and tents were open . i didnt want to stay out tho, i had to work the next day anyways. actually, mike didnt want to stay and hang out because he is lame and boring and complains all the time. sara wanted me to stay but mike didnt want me too, i wasnt feeling it tho it was rainy and what not. well i did end up staying but it was lame so i called mike to come get me. i unreluctantly slept there. the next day he wanted to have sex and i didnt want too. i was planning to get breast implants within the next 2 fucking weeks anyways. i even told him, "I CANNOT GET PREGNANT!!!!" he knew. he heard me! i didnt want to have sex but he said it will be ok. so that was that time. the next time was june 29th when i went tubing with sara and saheed and kelly. we were drinking claws and fireball and smoking cigs down the river. it was fun! i had a good time! when i got off the river tho i felt tired. anyways i went home and wanted to sleep. mike came over. sara wanted me to go to sand bar so i did even tho i was super tired. angie was there too. i had a drink but i was so tired. before we went tho, mike and i had sex, i was drunk from the tubing. of course, he always puts me down. he shames me for drinking and having a good time. i had fun! i wish i had a guy who would like to do fun things with me!! i like doing summery stuff like that! anyways, that was the last time i got drunk! june 29th. that wknd , friday actually, we went swimming at westons pool. i had a few seltzers. i thought i was getting my period the day before, but then the bleeding stopped. so i decided to take a pregnancy test strip. a very light line came up showing im pregnant!??! i was like WHUT!??? the next day was riverside july 4th party. my plans were to stay overnight at my parents house, sleep in the rv, and walk across the bridge to riverside.
i always wanted to be with a fun boyfriend. someone whod want to chill in the RV with me, drink some. walk across the bridge to riverside. mike is not it. he shames me because i still like to enjoy life. in fact, that night he was getting impatient waiting to see the fireworks. he didnt want to go to riverside. not the first year he got impatient on the bridge. im a country girl, i grew up on the river. i grew up exploring and being adventurous. mike does not understand this. he gets crabby and hes not fun. sometimes i grind my fists so much I HATE HIM!!!
im not sure when i got pregnant was it or the 20th? i thought it was the 20th at first, but that would make me 9 weeks. when i went to my appt 2 weeks ago, they couldnt even see the baby it was too small . she said im only 5 weeks. so if i was 5 weeks (now 7) then it would of been the 29th. so i ovulated late!??? weird. and i got a positive result just a few days later!?? is that possible? that meant i probably could of went to the july 4th party and enjoyed myself, knock back a few...etc. it would of techinically been my first week.but of course mikes a boring grumpy person. i was actually trying to just get rid of him for good but that didnt end up happening.
that was the last time mike and i were intimate too. i tell him i have to wait until the dr says its safe. i dont know!??!
its august now. i still will go out but i dont stay out late. im not drinking or smoking. i had a white claw here and there or a glass of white zinfandel, but just one. and i sip slowly and have water with it. that happened seldomly. in fact, im going to stop doing that.
oh btw, i dont really like telling moss how i feel, especially about mike. like who the fuck ?? why does it matter to you? and yes im pregnant. he has absolutely no say in my life or my body. i really do not need to hear him telling me how hard its going to be.
i will be able to do it. i wasnt trying to get pregnant but thats my fault. i could of swallowed three birth control pills the next day. (it acts as the morning after pill)...but i didnt. im pregnant now so i am dealing with it. i am happy i am.
but about mike, in no way am i considering being with him. id like to eventually meet someone who is on my page. someone fun, adventurous, sweet, patient, encouraging, easy to talk too etc.
mike is too grumpy and hes just.. i cant. not sure why i went and actually BLOGGED!?? i think i had a reason!??? oh well...i forget now. oh because while i was looking through airbnbs and i see a bunch of lovely places to stay at. for example, one above the fish market in easton. very nice place!! if i had a fun openminded guy, i would love to get an airbnb, make a few drinks, have dinner at fish market, then head out to standard and rivals. i remember dennis and i used to get a room at the holiday inn when it was still in easton, and we would head out to the bars downtown easton then just stay at the hotel and we would have awesome, buzzed up sex then sleep and sex in the morning then breakfast at perkins the next morning, (no longer there now)...of course we were in our 20s then...but it was fun.
i could NEVER imagine doing anything like that with mike!? in fact, i have been with just mike all through my 30s! im 42 now!!!?? i didnt date anyone else!? yeah i did hang out with that guy from the airport a bit, but we werent dating. other than that..nope!? i went on a few dates off of plentyoffish.com WHICH WERE A BUST!! ughh! no thanks! but yeah..nope! oh and kyle doesnt count. those were hookups. he msgd me again lately but its not like were gonna go on some kind of date. whatever/
yeah im gonna have a baby. but it doesnt mean i cant meet somebody on my page! i guess time will tell..all i know is, i really CANNOT WITH MIKE! i mean...i dont understand!?? i am in baffle!
bafflement!!
anyways, i am looking at airbnbs local, because im hoping for a photoshoot soon.
its so weird..i was ready for the summer. i kind of wanted to get pregnant but then there was a thought to myself such as, no. i dont want too. i actually had some money saved and i was talking to a plastic surgeon, local ,about getting breast implants. plus i wanted to get more tattoos as well now that the shops reopened. the one saturday, i remember...mike and i went to eat outside, when outdoor dining was a thing. we went to tacos y tequila. i remember it started raining. then sara wanted me to meet up with her downtown easton, at standard, where outdoor drinking and tents were open . i didnt want to stay out tho, i had to work the next day anyways. actually, mike didnt want to stay and hang out because he is lame and boring and complains all the time. sara wanted me to stay but mike didnt want me too, i wasnt feeling it tho it was rainy and what not. well i did end up staying but it was lame so i called mike to come get me. i unreluctantly slept there. the next day he wanted to have sex and i didnt want too. i was planning to get breast implants within the next 2 fucking weeks anyways. i even told him, "I CANNOT GET PREGNANT!!!!" he knew. he heard me! i didnt want to have sex but he said it will be ok. so that was that time. the next time was june 29th when i went tubing with sara and saheed and kelly. we were drinking claws and fireball and smoking cigs down the river. it was fun! i had a good time! when i got off the river tho i felt tired. anyways i went home and wanted to sleep. mike came over. sara wanted me to go to sand bar so i did even tho i was super tired. angie was there too. i had a drink but i was so tired. before we went tho, mike and i had sex, i was drunk from the tubing. of course, he always puts me down. he shames me for drinking and having a good time. i had fun! i wish i had a guy who would like to do fun things with me!! i like doing summery stuff like that! anyways, that was the last time i got drunk! june 29th. that wknd , friday actually, we went swimming at westons pool. i had a few seltzers. i thought i was getting my period the day before, but then the bleeding stopped. so i decided to take a pregnancy test strip. a very light line came up showing im pregnant!??! i was like WHUT!??? the next day was riverside july 4th party. my plans were to stay overnight at my parents house, sleep in the rv, and walk across the bridge to riverside.
i always wanted to be with a fun boyfriend. someone whod want to chill in the RV with me, drink some. walk across the bridge to riverside. mike is not it. he shames me because i still like to enjoy life. in fact, that night he was getting impatient waiting to see the fireworks. he didnt want to go to riverside. not the first year he got impatient on the bridge. im a country girl, i grew up on the river. i grew up exploring and being adventurous. mike does not understand this. he gets crabby and hes not fun. sometimes i grind my fists so much I HATE HIM!!!
im not sure when i got pregnant was it or the 20th? i thought it was the 20th at first, but that would make me 9 weeks. when i went to my appt 2 weeks ago, they couldnt even see the baby it was too small . she said im only 5 weeks. so if i was 5 weeks (now 7) then it would of been the 29th. so i ovulated late!??? weird. and i got a positive result just a few days later!?? is that possible? that meant i probably could of went to the july 4th party and enjoyed myself, knock back a few...etc. it would of techinically been my first week.but of course mikes a boring grumpy person. i was actually trying to just get rid of him for good but that didnt end up happening.
that was the last time mike and i were intimate too. i tell him i have to wait until the dr says its safe. i dont know!??!
its august now. i still will go out but i dont stay out late. im not drinking or smoking. i had a white claw here and there or a glass of white zinfandel, but just one. and i sip slowly and have water with it. that happened seldomly. in fact, im going to stop doing that.
oh btw, i dont really like telling moss how i feel, especially about mike. like who the fuck ?? why does it matter to you? and yes im pregnant. he has absolutely no say in my life or my body. i really do not need to hear him telling me how hard its going to be.
i will be able to do it. i wasnt trying to get pregnant but thats my fault. i could of swallowed three birth control pills the next day. (it acts as the morning after pill)...but i didnt. im pregnant now so i am dealing with it. i am happy i am.
but about mike, in no way am i considering being with him. id like to eventually meet someone who is on my page. someone fun, adventurous, sweet, patient, encouraging, easy to talk too etc.
mike is too grumpy and hes just.. i cant. not sure why i went and actually BLOGGED!?? i think i had a reason!??? oh well...i forget now. oh because while i was looking through airbnbs and i see a bunch of lovely places to stay at. for example, one above the fish market in easton. very nice place!! if i had a fun openminded guy, i would love to get an airbnb, make a few drinks, have dinner at fish market, then head out to standard and rivals. i remember dennis and i used to get a room at the holiday inn when it was still in easton, and we would head out to the bars downtown easton then just stay at the hotel and we would have awesome, buzzed up sex then sleep and sex in the morning then breakfast at perkins the next morning, (no longer there now)...of course we were in our 20s then...but it was fun.
i could NEVER imagine doing anything like that with mike!? in fact, i have been with just mike all through my 30s! im 42 now!!!?? i didnt date anyone else!? yeah i did hang out with that guy from the airport a bit, but we werent dating. other than that..nope!? i went on a few dates off of plentyoffish.com WHICH WERE A BUST!! ughh! no thanks! but yeah..nope! oh and kyle doesnt count. those were hookups. he msgd me again lately but its not like were gonna go on some kind of date. whatever/
yeah im gonna have a baby. but it doesnt mean i cant meet somebody on my page! i guess time will tell..all i know is, i really CANNOT WITH MIKE! i mean...i dont understand!?? i am in baffle!
bafflement!!
july
july july...what happened in july??? ahh i dont know!? i learnt im pregnant???
but for real...hmm...
but for real...hmm...
REAL HOUSEWIVES = MEN! Denise Richards Lisa Rinna Lala Kent Transgender*...
to "hollywood' ( i am using it as a blanket term or whatever)..just come out and start admitting most if not all celebs are trans we are sick of all this lying deceipt. listen i am a real woman and i know real women and aint none of real nonfamous women look or resemble these celebrities! please! this is a travesty!
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