what kid of video is this? hmm...hey strange love shows a midget (little person) living in a home i just posted about a midget house..weird nj...sigh. oh this video is weird what is it supposed to mean i just know ron is in it ..oh the girl is wearing the guns n roses shirt i have! except she has a way better body than me (even tho her eyes look crossed or too close together) i want to do photoshoots this summer! i feel like crap lately.
oh i was wondering what prompted me to watch this video its bcuz moss gave me a link of mike esterman and it mentioned the music videos ron has been in. ok than okie dokie dookie
i
Thursday, April 30, 2015
"accept me for who i am"
I am sorry, but I cannot stand when Moss utters (well types) these phrases. "Accept me for who I am"...sounds like a special needs...not to be mean, but it does. i hate when he says that. to me, that is just showing ignorance or he is being selfish and self absorbed. he thinks i am upset because i am not accepting who he is. i dont care about who he is! his personality isnt affecting me. it is selfish of him to say that phrase AFTER I EXPLAINED TO HIM IT IS HIS LACK OF CONCERN FOR MY FEELINGS that upset me. wouldn't you want to know why your friend is upset with you? instead of saying to them, accept me for who i am! WHAT???! its not about YOU thats selfish! its how you make me feel!!!
im TIRED
im TIRED
hey. i wanted to play my game for a bit but my strange addiction is on and its kind of interesting...ok...so before my shower, i told moss that i blogged about it. instead of telling me he doesnt like that, or whatever, he just posted a shocked emoji, as if it is some sort of joke. i said, 'moss dont you care about your image?" and he just kept using emojis to express his lack of concern.
to me, him not caring about what i wrote about him shows me he does not respect my opinion of him. to me, using immature emojis was disrespectful, as if he is making this out to be a little babyish joke.
oh yeah, so another thing i am wondering...if you dont speak spanish, does that not make you puerto rican? because i do not speak spanish but that doesnt mean my grandmother is not from puerto rico.
and why does it...ahh forget it. i thought all these things in the shower but now i dont feel like blogging. (cuz i have to sleep soon)
just at work, i think its annoying when they make sexual jokes. i just think its crass. i dont join in with the laughs to fit in i just ignore it. i was like, 'i dont even know what you are talking about'
hey at least im still working. im tired...TIRED ahh this guy loves his inflatables...um...i dont know
they are cute but...he feels like they love him. his female inflatable is his wife. huh
oh my gosh!?? anyways
You can blog about me all you want. Kevin tells me how much you do it. I don't understand how, after knowing me for EIGHT YEARS now...you're always so shocked and surprised by me. Just accept me for who I am. Stop trying to change me.
NO! its because he doesnt care enough to ask me what i think of him or WHY he upsets me or annoys me. 'accept me for who i am'...well respect me then! listen to what i have to say! i dont care enough to put him down honestly nor do i want to change him. hes just rude to me
i just asked him, 'why did you ever want to be friends with me? we are not on the same page! we do not see eye to eye. he says i cant change him. i dont want to change him i just want him to express concern over what he does that upsets me, but he doesnt instead he says things like 'accept me for who i am'
that is a selfish response! i mean, why did he ever want to be friends with me if i dont 'accept him for who he is' (and thats not even it. i get upset when he uses an emoji instead of actually responding like a human being') im done. im tired i dont want to argue with him anymore
to me, him not caring about what i wrote about him shows me he does not respect my opinion of him. to me, using immature emojis was disrespectful, as if he is making this out to be a little babyish joke.
oh yeah, so another thing i am wondering...if you dont speak spanish, does that not make you puerto rican? because i do not speak spanish but that doesnt mean my grandmother is not from puerto rico.
and why does it...ahh forget it. i thought all these things in the shower but now i dont feel like blogging. (cuz i have to sleep soon)
just at work, i think its annoying when they make sexual jokes. i just think its crass. i dont join in with the laughs to fit in i just ignore it. i was like, 'i dont even know what you are talking about'
hey at least im still working. im tired...TIRED ahh this guy loves his inflatables...um...i dont know
they are cute but...he feels like they love him. his female inflatable is his wife. huh
oh my gosh!?? anyways
You can blog about me all you want. Kevin tells me how much you do it. I don't understand how, after knowing me for EIGHT YEARS now...you're always so shocked and surprised by me. Just accept me for who I am. Stop trying to change me.
NO! its because he doesnt care enough to ask me what i think of him or WHY he upsets me or annoys me. 'accept me for who i am'...well respect me then! listen to what i have to say! i dont care enough to put him down honestly nor do i want to change him. hes just rude to me
i just asked him, 'why did you ever want to be friends with me? we are not on the same page! we do not see eye to eye. he says i cant change him. i dont want to change him i just want him to express concern over what he does that upsets me, but he doesnt instead he says things like 'accept me for who i am'
that is a selfish response! i mean, why did he ever want to be friends with me if i dont 'accept him for who he is' (and thats not even it. i get upset when he uses an emoji instead of actually responding like a human being') im done. im tired i dont want to argue with him anymore
burn book: moss is a fucknugget
This is for the burn book. He is so annoying. fugly! so fucking fugly...(mean girls reference...also mean girls 10 year anniversary. )he just pisses me off!?? i sent him a link to an article about how they say after you turn 33, then you no longer start to listen to new music (i dont think that is true, i mean, i dont know alot of new music (like teenybopper shit) but i still listen to stuff i never did before)...and i said to him, 'you should post this link to kims wall', because kim is always sharing her spotify songs which are songs like ,'all star' by smashmouth, or 'all the things you say' by tatu, or...alanis morrisette or...gwen stefani...just songs from the 90s or early 2000s. its as if she hasnt evolved or she is stuck in that time...but moss never replied. i saw that he 'seen' it but he didnt even laugh at kims expense. sometimes, with my TRUE friends, my REAL friends, we can laugh and make fun of someone else, (everyone does it! shut up if you say you dont! i mean, you know how many people have a good laugh at my expense? it happens all the time. im just a fuck up....disgustingly awful...i am tho!)
but you know, i guess i confused moss as a friend, so instead of him laughing at the joke i made, he said nothing. so i said, 'hey i said give that link to kim' and he dead panningly replies, 'i dont care about that'...OH! OH!??! so ok, you dont care about that, (he was actually thinking i was giving him that post because i thought it would be something he would be interested in reading!?? um no!?? i gave it to you as a joke about kims lazy choice in music....)...and now he isnt even checking his msgs and his phone goes right to his voicemail.
so i am now confirmed that moss is delusional. last week, while at work, i went on break and i saw that moss had texted me something. "I have a great job for you! (i dont remember exact words) thats weird, a whole chunk of time frame text msgs are gone now?
oh yeah, i just wanted him to say sorry about my disposable cameras from a while ago...ahh ill write about that in a bit.
he goes, 'i have a great job for you doing promotional (?) i forget) working for some athelete i dont know!?? he says its a job where i would travel the world!"
i payed no mind to that text. i mean, why does he do that? he wants so bad to help me get a job yet he is so delusional about it. i actually was like, 'ok that would be cool!" he said its for brandons company or something and i thought, maybe brandon does have a job for me!?? idk.but come on, im realistic. first of all i am NOT asking moss to get me a job. he wants to feel like he is helping people but he is totally condescending about the way he does it.
its like he wants to dangle a carrot in front of my face (lieutenent dangle)...srzly tho...later when he was on speakerphone he said that brandon said sure she can submit a resume..(DUH!! of course! i didnt need moss to know i would have to submit a resume for a job 'travelling the world' why even bother you know? him, why does he think...it just gets me angry because he wants to build me up for disappointment but im smarter than that. because A. i am not delusional and B i am not DELUSIONAL! (i mean, i am in my own way!?!!!!) ((like how he always would tell me he can get me a job in hollywood. are you serious? that just sounds...i mean, come on!) ok moss just msgd me back he is so DAFT! i explained to him the joke about kim and her taste in music and he was like, 'i dont want to send her something about music subscriptions' OH MY GOD!!! sigh!! honestly, i told him, i think he has some sort of ass burgers he doesnt wipe well enough!!
he said he doesnt talk about music with kim. NO I AM SAYING KIM HAS NOT EVOLVED WITH HER MUSIC TASTE the other day she posted a vid of her making funny faces to the song, 'SHUT UP WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU' and everyone laughed and her friend screen shot her making a funky face kim says it looks like im doing an O face, um i was gonna comment, 'SHREK!" (cuz she looked like donkey) but i dont....i mean...its too easy to be mean with her!!
anyways, so moss keeps telling ME about the (i hate when he CAPS things) about the ted 2 premiere and entourage premiere. ok, cool!??! sure! i mean, of course i would love to go. so i asked him about it and he said, "IF you help me, we can get into all the premieres and parties'....
he wants me to help him with his sam kinison documentary thing. see, the thing is....sigh....
frankly, if i were to start focusing on anything creative, it will be for MY ideas. i just dont think anyone knows who he is anymore, i mean...and its moss's project, NOT mine. my heart is not in it! if i were to make a documentary, it will be about homeless river boy jimmy, who never leaves brainards nj. (Yes i am going to do this)...or, i dont know...but i just dont want to work on sam kinison stuff. yes i do realize that if you live in hollywood and someone offers you a job researching and editing, you do it! if not for the experience and credit. which is fine and all and i respect that, but i never submitted a resume to moss! i never put myself in that position..you know?
secondly, he thinks just because he makes a documentary, then instantly he will be on the lists. all the VIPS will invite him to the parties. if that was the case, then why dont we see...you know, the documentary people at premieres? it doesnt make sense. usually, the ones on the actual lists are those pertaining to the movie or awards shows. in fact, someone famous may have an even harder time getting into an awards show than an average soul....(if it doesnt pertain to them, then why are they there? you know what i mean?)
he wants to feel proud and accomplished and fit in rather than feeling like an average shmuck joe off the street, (like eddie palwick for example...why is he and mindy at all the exclusive events) i respect that. moss wants cred. hollywood cred.
um...i lost interest in this blog post...i just get annoyed with moss...erghhh!! he knows this so it aint news to him....i dont care...
"I respect that' LOL!!!
oh man...its time to go to sleep....im so tired from work. work, home...thats it.
so what should i do should i try to go to hollyWOOOD? englewood!??
im back. moss 'had no idea what i am talking about' because i said 'ahh burn book' UM THIS IS MY VERSION OF THE BURN BOOK
so about the disposables. years ago HE dropped off FOUR of my disposable cameras (because he was sick of seeing them in his living room. he would tell me he didnt want them there anymore. and i KNOW he threw out my dress, because he got sick of seeing them....*we also think he grabs tips off the table when everyone leaves the table*
for real tho...but he 'says' he dropped them off at cvs. i did not ASK him too! at the time when i was using disposable, i would get them developed at walmart in phillipsburg nj, NOT cvs in hollywood. a year later when i went to pick them up, she says they didnt have them. i NEVER got a call telling me they were ready leaving me to believe moss probably never even dropped them off. he will never admit it tho. and all i wanted him to do was apologize but he is denying he ever did that. no he did! he told me he did.
i never used cvs to develop film. and he cant even say i dont remember doing that but i apologize if i did.
its the little things like that. so...finally off my chest.
but you know, i guess i confused moss as a friend, so instead of him laughing at the joke i made, he said nothing. so i said, 'hey i said give that link to kim' and he dead panningly replies, 'i dont care about that'...OH! OH!??! so ok, you dont care about that, (he was actually thinking i was giving him that post because i thought it would be something he would be interested in reading!?? um no!?? i gave it to you as a joke about kims lazy choice in music....)...and now he isnt even checking his msgs and his phone goes right to his voicemail.
so i am now confirmed that moss is delusional. last week, while at work, i went on break and i saw that moss had texted me something. "I have a great job for you! (i dont remember exact words) thats weird, a whole chunk of time frame text msgs are gone now?
oh yeah, i just wanted him to say sorry about my disposable cameras from a while ago...ahh ill write about that in a bit.
he goes, 'i have a great job for you doing promotional (?) i forget) working for some athelete i dont know!?? he says its a job where i would travel the world!"
i payed no mind to that text. i mean, why does he do that? he wants so bad to help me get a job yet he is so delusional about it. i actually was like, 'ok that would be cool!" he said its for brandons company or something and i thought, maybe brandon does have a job for me!?? idk.but come on, im realistic. first of all i am NOT asking moss to get me a job. he wants to feel like he is helping people but he is totally condescending about the way he does it.
its like he wants to dangle a carrot in front of my face (lieutenent dangle)...srzly tho...later when he was on speakerphone he said that brandon said sure she can submit a resume..(DUH!! of course! i didnt need moss to know i would have to submit a resume for a job 'travelling the world' why even bother you know? him, why does he think...it just gets me angry because he wants to build me up for disappointment but im smarter than that. because A. i am not delusional and B i am not DELUSIONAL! (i mean, i am in my own way!?!!!!) ((like how he always would tell me he can get me a job in hollywood. are you serious? that just sounds...i mean, come on!) ok moss just msgd me back he is so DAFT! i explained to him the joke about kim and her taste in music and he was like, 'i dont want to send her something about music subscriptions' OH MY GOD!!! sigh!! honestly, i told him, i think he has some sort of ass burgers he doesnt wipe well enough!!
he said he doesnt talk about music with kim. NO I AM SAYING KIM HAS NOT EVOLVED WITH HER MUSIC TASTE the other day she posted a vid of her making funny faces to the song, 'SHUT UP WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU' and everyone laughed and her friend screen shot her making a funky face kim says it looks like im doing an O face, um i was gonna comment, 'SHREK!" (cuz she looked like donkey) but i dont....i mean...its too easy to be mean with her!!
anyways, so moss keeps telling ME about the (i hate when he CAPS things) about the ted 2 premiere and entourage premiere. ok, cool!??! sure! i mean, of course i would love to go. so i asked him about it and he said, "IF you help me, we can get into all the premieres and parties'....
he wants me to help him with his sam kinison documentary thing. see, the thing is....sigh....
frankly, if i were to start focusing on anything creative, it will be for MY ideas. i just dont think anyone knows who he is anymore, i mean...and its moss's project, NOT mine. my heart is not in it! if i were to make a documentary, it will be about homeless river boy jimmy, who never leaves brainards nj. (Yes i am going to do this)...or, i dont know...but i just dont want to work on sam kinison stuff. yes i do realize that if you live in hollywood and someone offers you a job researching and editing, you do it! if not for the experience and credit. which is fine and all and i respect that, but i never submitted a resume to moss! i never put myself in that position..you know?
secondly, he thinks just because he makes a documentary, then instantly he will be on the lists. all the VIPS will invite him to the parties. if that was the case, then why dont we see...you know, the documentary people at premieres? it doesnt make sense. usually, the ones on the actual lists are those pertaining to the movie or awards shows. in fact, someone famous may have an even harder time getting into an awards show than an average soul....(if it doesnt pertain to them, then why are they there? you know what i mean?)
he wants to feel proud and accomplished and fit in rather than feeling like an average shmuck joe off the street, (like eddie palwick for example...why is he and mindy at all the exclusive events) i respect that. moss wants cred. hollywood cred.
um...i lost interest in this blog post...i just get annoyed with moss...erghhh!! he knows this so it aint news to him....i dont care...
"I respect that' LOL!!!
oh man...its time to go to sleep....im so tired from work. work, home...thats it.
so what should i do should i try to go to hollyWOOOD? englewood!??
im back. moss 'had no idea what i am talking about' because i said 'ahh burn book' UM THIS IS MY VERSION OF THE BURN BOOK
so about the disposables. years ago HE dropped off FOUR of my disposable cameras (because he was sick of seeing them in his living room. he would tell me he didnt want them there anymore. and i KNOW he threw out my dress, because he got sick of seeing them....*we also think he grabs tips off the table when everyone leaves the table*
for real tho...but he 'says' he dropped them off at cvs. i did not ASK him too! at the time when i was using disposable, i would get them developed at walmart in phillipsburg nj, NOT cvs in hollywood. a year later when i went to pick them up, she says they didnt have them. i NEVER got a call telling me they were ready leaving me to believe moss probably never even dropped them off. he will never admit it tho. and all i wanted him to do was apologize but he is denying he ever did that. no he did! he told me he did.
i never used cvs to develop film. and he cant even say i dont remember doing that but i apologize if i did.
its the little things like that. so...finally off my chest.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
seth green robot chicken skate party
haha this is hilarious mallory grabbed seth green and made me skate with him. i so wish i can find someone to follow me around ad video tape all the cool things...you know? i so wish i had captured mementos from all these things that is one thing i think would be cool...youtube videos of gift bag items!! i need to get a good camcorder! i am hoping to go to the ted 2 and entourage premieres this summer! right??? needs camcorders! ahora!
Dude STUNNED when Wheat Thins Billboard Falls onto Parked Cars
um, kind of looks like EAT SHIT also, whats up with that bud light beer bottle message, 'removing no from your vocabbulary for the night (that was on the beer bottle) um hello? rape much?
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Video Tour of The Clarkson Farm - 121 Old 52 Hwy. Greeleyville, SC
there is something so sexy about a country farm house....i think its just the sultry sult of the summer...i dont know what SULT is, re-arrange the words tho...slut. so its sexy and summery and slutty!?? nah i dont know ANYWAYS, i love it! when i did that photoshoot with the little fawn it was at a nice farm house and the guy was young and he was cute...but i was with MIKE erghh, so...nothing happened...oh yeah, when i was dating glenn, his family lived in the thomas stewart house (of stewartsville nj, he was secretary for george washington) stuart! lol....the house was designed like a dollhouse, and there was a barn and a slaves quarters. we used to build um....those fires that bums do...in one of those barrelly things? and drink and all that, sometimes by the slave quarters or by the barn. one night we watched as lightning struck the barn and it burnt to the ground. that barn was cool too. they also had cornfields and dirtbikes, we used to dirtbike all in the paths. across the street was a creek where we would go wading and swimming. i just love those lazy summer nights! the house was haunted, well, weird things happened there! doors would open, sounds would be captured within the walls. it was weird...
none of you california people have a clue of how sweet and sexy it is to have a country summer dusk...night...er....you know, when the sun from the west is setting, (wait does sun rise from the east and sets in the west? )...and the sun rays are so vivid falling down on everyone, baking our skin and tinting it in an orange hue. dayum, love it! and then you can smell a wheat tinged whiff of sweet grass, or could be the grass, the weed that someone is toking on. grass, man!! OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT! california just does not HAVE IT!! man oh man!
this video seemed like it would be annoying at first, the music, but i like the dreamy effect it takes on as if you are sort of....gliding by for a private tour of this beautiful country home. i only watched the outside so im gonna keep watching.
this video gets kind of annoying they never go in the house and its decorated weirdly...........
none of you california people have a clue of how sweet and sexy it is to have a country summer dusk...night...er....you know, when the sun from the west is setting, (wait does sun rise from the east and sets in the west? )...and the sun rays are so vivid falling down on everyone, baking our skin and tinting it in an orange hue. dayum, love it! and then you can smell a wheat tinged whiff of sweet grass, or could be the grass, the weed that someone is toking on. grass, man!! OH MY GOSH I LOVE IT! california just does not HAVE IT!! man oh man!
this video seemed like it would be annoying at first, the music, but i like the dreamy effect it takes on as if you are sort of....gliding by for a private tour of this beautiful country home. i only watched the outside so im gonna keep watching.
this video gets kind of annoying they never go in the house and its decorated weirdly...........
murmur
Moss always gives me links to things I honestly really do not care about. I mean, does he spend all day just searching out these random links? I go on a few sites daily, but I really do not venture to much when on the internet. Sites that I go on consist of 1. Facebook, (of course), 2. youtube.com 3. adultswim.com (for fishcenter. i dont go on the boards hardly anymore) 4. thedirty.com 5. rjandbley (even tho its never updated and there is never any new content, i just check idk why)...6. interesting links i see on facebook.
so i was wondering about why they say murmur so much in 50 shades of grey, so as i was googling, 'why do they say murmur so much' google finished my question..'in 50 shades of grey'
so i found a funny link, and i thought i would show moss. i only cut and pasted that paragraph i did downstairs. he said, 'who is ana and christian? why would i care about that?" well moss, YOU send me links i really do not care about all the time! and you are such a pop culture expert i am sure you can figure out ana and christian are from the 50 shades of grey..
he was like, 'that is alot of research for someone to do on something so silly'
its not research its something they noticed and wrote a funny thing about.
i mean, idk..moss just annoys me!!!
people like kim like 50 shades of grey, she posts selfies all the time and when no one likes something she posts she asks me to like it and comment!??
i want a chocolate shake
so i was wondering about why they say murmur so much in 50 shades of grey, so as i was googling, 'why do they say murmur so much' google finished my question..'in 50 shades of grey'
so i found a funny link, and i thought i would show moss. i only cut and pasted that paragraph i did downstairs. he said, 'who is ana and christian? why would i care about that?" well moss, YOU send me links i really do not care about all the time! and you are such a pop culture expert i am sure you can figure out ana and christian are from the 50 shades of grey..
he was like, 'that is alot of research for someone to do on something so silly'
its not research its something they noticed and wrote a funny thing about.
i mean, idk..moss just annoys me!!!
people like kim like 50 shades of grey, she posts selfies all the time and when no one likes something she posts she asks me to like it and comment!??
i want a chocolate shake
50 shades of YAWN
so the woman who wrote this is like...rich i mean.they were introducing the bondage thing years ago!??! i am listening to the audio book on yt, but its just...idk...i keep thinking of that dakota johnson...who knows/ they say murmur alot so i googled it:
http://www.thewire.com/entertainment/2012/05/these-are-not-shades-grey-you-are-looking/52501/
I have discovered that Ana says "Jeez" 81 times and "oh my" 72 times. She "blushes" or "flushes" 125 times, including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red." (I can't even imagine.) Ana "peeks up" at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian's "hooded eyes" and 7 to his "long index finger." Characters "murmur" 199 times and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.
http://www.thewire.com/entertainment/2012/05/these-are-not-shades-grey-you-are-looking/52501/
I have discovered that Ana says "Jeez" 81 times and "oh my" 72 times. She "blushes" or "flushes" 125 times, including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red." (I can't even imagine.) Ana "peeks up" at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian's "hooded eyes" and 7 to his "long index finger." Characters "murmur" 199 times and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.
So it was my Aunt Deanna's 60th anniversary, to her husband, Chickie. Ever since as a kid, I never really talked to him, but Aunt Deanna has always been a great aunt! I used to make my own story books and sell them for 10 cents and she would always buy them. I made one about a toaster character, (I think this was before the toaster movie)..anyways, so I was not able to make it to the party, but I would of liked to of. Kim was there with her family and so was Sarah and her family. Lisa didn't go since she had to go to Matt's grandmothers party. Lisa chooses to do things with Matt's family instead of her own. Anyways, I wish I could of been there. It was at Terry's house. My parents didnt come home till late. When they did, my mom told me that when Aunt Deanna and chicky got home, they found out that they were robbed. they are rich, he is a butcher and his work is right by the house. when we go to the house for parties outside in the summer, sometimes we go into the butchers shop and see all the carcasses hanging up on hooks. This is terrible that they had gotten robbed. They had taken some of her diamond rings and a few thousand in cash as well as the safe.
i am sure whoever did it must of staked out the house. very sad. why would anyone do this?
i am sure whoever did it must of staked out the house. very sad. why would anyone do this?
i forgot to write down the sych or whatever it was i was watching that fishcenter show and they made a retro ad for sure deodorant...anyways, my mom came back from the store and she had bought sure deodorant she was even like, i thought they discontined this!? there was also another really weird synch..a while ago, i mean, i have been targetted i guess, online. anyone can put whatever they want on the internet so there was something which someone put up about me which is really false and unfair. it will continue to effect me. sanjana jon made up a website but there something out there that is really hurting me. and it makes me feel like i am hopeless....so, im trying to figure out how to get these things taken off so i try to contact google but it never works. i was looking at google and trying to get it the fuck off, and on fishcenter, they said what i doing!?? and that was like, it just really made me feel awful!?? like, what the hell you know? i dont write these things, i would never put any information out there on the interent. some asshole jerk did that and i cant get google to take them off. it is hurting me and affecting me emotionally. whatever...
Saturday, April 25, 2015
painting
Hi. So, of course I am stuck here. Cant leave. I feel alone too, lonely. I feel depressed too. Anyways, I painted a bunch of mini paintings, and one for my Aunt Deanna, (it is her 60th anniversary), and one for Terry too.
i enjoy painting. i sit in the kitchen and put on some music, light a candle, and draw and paint..i like the real small canvases with mini easels because i can just paint a small little painting. i have a few ideas: (kind of like the tattoo ideas i have)
- strawberries
- bananas
- halloween candy (candy corn, pumpkins)- i painted one like that for terry
- comic book polka dot lips
- hello kitty
- swedish fish
- pizza slice
- japanese cherry tree
- dreamcatcher
- sushi
- fortune cookie
- mc donalds logo
- cheeseburger
i also want to scale drawings again, (like the one i lost of the woman with short hair smoking a cigarette)...i want to draw native americans, fancy dancers, the cree people, (some of the men even wore dreadlocks!) i definately want to start painting more native american themes.
i also want to make those gemstone rings as well as hang them up with fishing string as a collage, along with old fashioned antique spoons.
DIY lip print t-shirt
i also want to make something cool using the fortunes from fortune cookies.
i cant shake this feeling of feeling alone and depressed. i just would like someone to come over so we can do asmr type stuff! pedicures, massage, makeup, hair...ughhh when i am free i am going to do a sephora haul as well as a pedicure.
i enjoy painting. i sit in the kitchen and put on some music, light a candle, and draw and paint..i like the real small canvases with mini easels because i can just paint a small little painting. i have a few ideas: (kind of like the tattoo ideas i have)
- strawberries
- bananas
- halloween candy (candy corn, pumpkins)- i painted one like that for terry
- comic book polka dot lips
- hello kitty
- swedish fish
- pizza slice
- japanese cherry tree
- dreamcatcher
- sushi
- fortune cookie
- mc donalds logo
- cheeseburger
i also want to scale drawings again, (like the one i lost of the woman with short hair smoking a cigarette)...i want to draw native americans, fancy dancers, the cree people, (some of the men even wore dreadlocks!) i definately want to start painting more native american themes.
i also want to make those gemstone rings as well as hang them up with fishing string as a collage, along with old fashioned antique spoons.
DIY lip print t-shirt
i also want to make something cool using the fortunes from fortune cookies.
i cant shake this feeling of feeling alone and depressed. i just would like someone to come over so we can do asmr type stuff! pedicures, massage, makeup, hair...ughhh when i am free i am going to do a sephora haul as well as a pedicure.
 |
| i made this one for aunt deanna |
i hate myself i hate who i am. i am embarrassed at myself. i have no idea how i became this joke who should never ever go out in public. i need to stay to stay on house arrest forever. i have been used so many times and have been degraded i have been RAPED i lost respect for my body my TEMPLE even tho i know to take care of myself and to find someone who loves me and who i truly honestly love. i want to be with one person i do not care about stupid things like sex or the internet or BULLSHIT or fucking all this stuff GOOGLE, SPIES whatever the HELL THIS IS ABOUT it no longer concerns me it is all a waste of time!
do you think i enjoy going somewhere with people who do not even know me, thinking they do? before it is even fair to see me as a persoN!??
i mean, take into consideration that i am a person..with a personality....and you know...all that other bullshit...
im not this....i have no idea...i feel like i embarrass people, like people feel embarrassed just to talk to you or be seen...
people who just have a lack or respect or courtesy. no wonder i became an alchoholic i suppose.. i can never spell that word right i mean, how many times did i get drunk and let some loser asshole touch me its disgusting. i regret so many things in my life...
every day i wish i could of just changed things..
i dont know how i ever ended up this way...
do you think i enjoy going somewhere with people who do not even know me, thinking they do? before it is even fair to see me as a persoN!??
i mean, take into consideration that i am a person..with a personality....and you know...all that other bullshit...
im not this....i have no idea...i feel like i embarrass people, like people feel embarrassed just to talk to you or be seen...
people who just have a lack or respect or courtesy. no wonder i became an alchoholic i suppose.. i can never spell that word right i mean, how many times did i get drunk and let some loser asshole touch me its disgusting. i regret so many things in my life...
every day i wish i could of just changed things..
i dont know how i ever ended up this way...
Crayola Experience in Easton, Pennsylvania : Lehigh Valley Visions
hey its crystal olahs fiancee george wacker ha!?? weird....
hey i cant see what i am typing!? its cr
hey i cant see what i am typing!? its cr
Friday, April 24, 2015
smokey eye
FACE:
MAC Studio Fix Fluid NC30
MAC - Pro Longwear concealer NW20
MAC - Prep + Prime Highlighter Pen-Light Boost
Ben Nye -Luxury Powder in Banana
EYES:
MAC - Gel Liner - Black Track
MAC - Studio Finish Concealer NC25
MAC - Soft brown
MAC - Saddle
MAC - Blanc Type
MAC - Embark
MAC - Carbon
Mascara - L'Oreal - Voluminous in Carbon Black
Lashes - Dose Of Color Lashes - Dose of drama
http://doseofcolors.com/
CHEEKS:
Maybelline - Fit Me Foundation Stick-355
MAC - Warm Soul
MAC - Soft n'Gentle
LIPS:
Motivecosmetics Lipliner - Naked
Motivecosmetics Lipstick - Nice
Motivecosmetics Lipgloss - Amazing
MAC Studio Fix Fluid NC30
MAC - Pro Longwear concealer NW20
MAC - Prep + Prime Highlighter Pen-Light Boost
Ben Nye -Luxury Powder in Banana
EYES:
MAC - Gel Liner - Black Track
MAC - Studio Finish Concealer NC25
MAC - Soft brown
MAC - Saddle
MAC - Blanc Type
MAC - Embark
MAC - Carbon
Mascara - L'Oreal - Voluminous in Carbon Black
Lashes - Dose Of Color Lashes - Dose of drama
http://doseofcolors.com/
CHEEKS:
Maybelline - Fit Me Foundation Stick-355
MAC - Warm Soul
MAC - Soft n'Gentle
LIPS:
Motivecosmetics Lipliner - Naked
Motivecosmetics Lipstick - Nice
Motivecosmetics Lipgloss - Amazing
Jesus encourages ASMR
So right now I am watching Amalz pedicure video. I do like asmr role playing, because these tingles or these..relaxations, is part of what makes us a human being! I say, take a deep breath, clean oxygen expanding your lungs. Enjoy the use of our ears, our senses. This is what being a human is about. Also, my job is very boring. I mean, I work in a cold warehouse with no windows, and they do not even play the radio. I am on my feet all day, packing muffins and stuff into the boxes. I get tired. My muscles get sore. Every so often, even tho I hate being there, I still take in the moment. I will open my eyes very wide and let my eyeballs soak in and absorb the flourescent lights in the warehouse. Doing this awakens your senses, it really does. It is incredible how human you feel in that moment.
Anyways...so, 24 more days...still a long time...meh...
What else? oh yes, so in the Bible, they mention washing of the feet a bunch of times. She was to show compassion and love and also to show that they are the servant. Jesus actually washed his disciples feet before he was crucified. He did this to show that he serves us, he died on the cross for our sins!
Here is a story that I like
Anyways...so, 24 more days...still a long time...meh...
What else? oh yes, so in the Bible, they mention washing of the feet a bunch of times. She was to show compassion and love and also to show that they are the servant. Jesus actually washed his disciples feet before he was crucified. He did this to show that he serves us, he died on the cross for our sins!
Here is a story that I like
Luke 7:36-50New Century Version (NCV)
A Woman Washes Jesus’ Feet
36 One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, so Jesus went into the Pharisee’s house and sat at the table. 37 A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume 38 and stood behind Jesus at his feet, crying. She began to wash his feet with her tears, and she dried them with her hair, kissing them many times and rubbing them with the perfume. 39 When the Pharisee who asked Jesus to come to his house saw this, he thought to himself, “If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!”
40 Jesus said to the Pharisee, “Simon, I have something to say to you.”
Simon said, “Teacher, tell me.”
41 Jesus said, “Two people owed money to the same banker. One owed five hundred coins[a] and the other owed fifty. 42 They had no money to pay what they owed, but the banker told both of them they did not have to pay him. Which person will love the banker more?”
43 Simon, the Pharisee, answered, “I think it would be the one who owed him the most money.”
Jesus said to Simon, “You are right.” 44 Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. 47 I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little.”
48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49 The people sitting at the table began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50 Jesus said to the woman, “Because you believed, you are saved from your sins. Go in peace.”
chow chow
hi. hmm..ok a few things. nothing too important. i am not sure how this summer will be for me, unfortunately..simply because, i really have no one to do things with. and new jersey summers are very important to me. there are so many things i would like to do; bike ride, drive in movies, summer nights, canoeing, um....whatever....idk...lots of things, like i wrote in my list. its just sad because i dont even have anyone to do anything with really...i kind of just...i dont know, i forget how it feels to just...see i cant even think of a word.
mike works all the time and he doesnt like to do fun things only come over to watch a movie in which he falls asleep too. hes mean anyways.
i thought maybe jay would want to do fun things like explore places such as centralia...but...his daughter gabby is transferring to a school closer to home and she is back now so he will never be able to do anything. all they do is sit in the silent living room without fresh air no kidding. she is sick so i understand but....wtf i have no body i cant even drive my car.
i want to take road trips...i was thinking about going to that fish center but im also kind of nervous too....so.....i dont know..:/ im nervous because i get so worried and stuff, like paranoid or...whatever...
so plenty of fish is getting to be too much. i feel bad if i do not respond to emails but im getting kind of bored. you know? i dont do online dating...i like to see if there is an attraction that i can feel and i cant feel that online...
damn! im thinking maybe...go to california for the summer or until i get my license back, of course i want to do so many summery things here!! oh yeah, and sage will be here too so....i better wait a bit huh???
so im gonna watch some youtubes and maybe play gta5 since i beat tombraider!
ciau
mike works all the time and he doesnt like to do fun things only come over to watch a movie in which he falls asleep too. hes mean anyways.
i thought maybe jay would want to do fun things like explore places such as centralia...but...his daughter gabby is transferring to a school closer to home and she is back now so he will never be able to do anything. all they do is sit in the silent living room without fresh air no kidding. she is sick so i understand but....wtf i have no body i cant even drive my car.
i want to take road trips...i was thinking about going to that fish center but im also kind of nervous too....so.....i dont know..:/ im nervous because i get so worried and stuff, like paranoid or...whatever...
so plenty of fish is getting to be too much. i feel bad if i do not respond to emails but im getting kind of bored. you know? i dont do online dating...i like to see if there is an attraction that i can feel and i cant feel that online...
damn! im thinking maybe...go to california for the summer or until i get my license back, of course i want to do so many summery things here!! oh yeah, and sage will be here too so....i better wait a bit huh???
so im gonna watch some youtubes and maybe play gta5 since i beat tombraider!
ciau
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
a few things i plan on making video about...
kylie jenner lip challenge..ok so why do they want to suction their lips to look like flappy duck? so stupid!
what else...
spa water ideas ex cucumber, mint, lemon, lime, rosemary, strawberries, blackberries etc
air popped popcorn ideas, real truffle oil, cumin, buffalo ranch etc
kylie jenner lip challenge..ok so why do they want to suction their lips to look like flappy duck? so stupid!
what else...
spa water ideas ex cucumber, mint, lemon, lime, rosemary, strawberries, blackberries etc
air popped popcorn ideas, real truffle oil, cumin, buffalo ranch etc
Toyota 4Runner Commercial 2015 Immune to Poison Ads
so...i just made that cajun popcorn...WOOOOWWW that is spicy hot but uncomfortable hot the kind where no type of drink will cool your tastebuds..synch i was reading the comments someone said 'im cajun'....they are speaking cajun french..also, (this was on after i got off phone with moss and brandon this commercial)...so i was hungry and made the cajun popcorn!???! hmm...anyways, another commenter says that it is called 'non-venomous' not 'non poisonous' so that is another clue that they were deliberately trying to 'trigger' or...idk...but poison!!???! ya know!???! (click and see my response to elexis whatever...)
the day in media
The Day in social media outlets
So, I go on facebook, scroll through, and a few thinks makes me feel like commenting...WHAT THE HAY???
Amy Schumer...
sigh...I aint tryin to be a hater you know, but it seems like she is resorting to 'shocking' PR and attention resorts...if she was funny, she doesnt need to do these silly attempts at getting attention.
I always had a problem with her using terms to describe her comedy show such as, "amy shumers back door tour' or 'inside amy shumer', so that is linking her to sex and sure everyone will be like oh she is just being funny, but she is actually utilizing subliminal sex in a way also...now people are gonna be like, 'shes hot tho! hot and funny!" not to be mean, but i think she resembles the girl from that possessed movie....what is it called again? not poltergeist...damn!?? linda blair!??!
oh so i was looking for pics of her in the exorcist but i do not feel like posting it but i did find some old 80s pics of her . she was sexy in that 80s way. i'll share the pics
but anyways...idk...amy shumer....sigh...i guess she flopped in front of kim and kanye west. now she is all over the media...star on fb, people on fb, tmz on fb, even snooki and cheezburger posted about it!??! so that tactic worked! oh i guess its promoting her new comedy central show. oh im not hating hush! hush up
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what else did i want to note on?
now i dont feel like it!!!
uh....sandra bullock is peoples most beautiful...i saw a instagram today it showed what one would think is beautiful, that blurred lines model emily ratajouski?? and then a real, healthy, smiling beautiful NORMAL bride in her wedding dress and a beautiful NORMAL woman with her baby....i agree! obv sandra bullocks representatives helped her receive that honor by PEOPLE, to promote her new movies or something; i have an idea. ok.. i had a few ideas..i forget them! i thought of it at work
mike always believes maxim giving out scarlett johanson the honor of being one of the top 100 hottest women, but its because its all about promotion! i mean, without all the hype scarlett is actually very uh....plain....what else? i think they should honor REAL women and feature them....you know, such as a nurse, or a teacher. why do they force everyone to idolize these celebrities. real world doesnt care! what about a female truck driver? lol, or you know...a psychologist or um....whatever
i had such a great idea at work i need to remember!!!
oh my gosh!???! it was so good i want to copyright it!! i dooooont remember!??! AHHHH damn i really want to remember!??!??! great...i might remember tomorrow at work!??? it is just a good idea but i have no clue!??
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
so...i went and ordered a wig, and they shipped it. well, it says is a wig for black women!? what!?? its modeled after rihannas hair!?? i mean, its like, blonde ombre and its brazilian hair so....i mean, idk if it doesnt look right i can return it. ill do a vlog when it arrives. ok so work is not that bad. its not loud, it doesnt feel annoying. well, jen and christine arent there, a few of the original crew is there but i really dont care or mind you know? its a job and it gets me out of the house! so..oh but see, the nutrisystem boxes run on a conveyor belt, and its like, the boxes are supposed to stay put, you know? meaning...do not touch or move the boxes!!! it is a certain width apart so that it will not be too overwhelming but it is at the right amount for 9 boxes per minute....(that is how much we do per minute i guess...so mathwork guys!? how many boxes do we package per hour??? 60x9=540 ok so 540 per hour...x8= well i mean, not counting our 2 15 minute breaks and our half hour lunch...we usually strive for 3600 for the day. well, its annoying because i hate when people either hold the boxes back or there is a gap and they keep pulling the boxes forward, its like, 'hun you know, your going to just keep doing that!? and your never going to catch up!' its like, just let the gap go by you, i mean, i dont touch the boxes at all!?? but when ppl push them forwards or hold them back (because someone is messing up) it makes it hard to package because all the boxes are grouped together. just something annoying that i thought about writing about! man....i forget what else i want to write. i want bacon! crispy bacon!!! and i want to make honey lime chicken!!
Monday, April 20, 2015
i need to lose weight seriously..i need to start exercising DAILY and eating well. my mom made tuna casserole, carb central..yeah.....anyways, lots of new people at work today...only a few are still here...mainly new people, but i dont mind. i dont really care i mean, to me its a job and a paycheck. im almost done...oh mallory will be visiting in june. she is driving down here and we are going to NYC to see noel fielding, i guess he is doing a comedy show or something!??! i dont know!?? then we are gonna hang out in the city, fishcenter replied they said to email them back when i know when will be the best time for me, i dont know....i would like to find a friend to go with me becaues i would have to schedule a trip around it...but i do not know WHO!????! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!????????
oh boy..well im gonna read my book so later (its bunny tales a behind closed doors at teh playboy mansion)
oh boy..well im gonna read my book so later (its bunny tales a behind closed doors at teh playboy mansion)
Sunday, April 19, 2015
illuminati eye
i think every young girl wants a christian grey...anyways, the dirty dot com is hopping on board to the trend the ILLUMINATI trend!
http://thedirty.com/popular/look-into-my-eye/#disqus_thread
stupid
http://thedirty.com/popular/look-into-my-eye/#disqus_thread
stupid
listening to audiobook of 50 shades of grey (i wanted to read it when i was at the jail but there was a waiting list..even tho heather got it before the one girl who was there longer)
i kind of miss being at the jail. i miss being around other girls. i need more girl friends...ughhh i cant wait till this is OVER!!!!!
i kind of miss being at the jail. i miss being around other girls. i need more girl friends...ughhh i cant wait till this is OVER!!!!!
so i am getting emails from plenty of fish. at first it was fun cuz you can check out their pics and profiles, but i got a bunch of emails and i feel bad if i dont reply back!?! i also feel incredibly cheesy for doing this. i would like to know the girls who are on this, just to see what im up against! not like i am competing, just curious. this is silly!!! i am getting sick of the internet! i do tho, i would like to go out with a hot guy, or whatever, chill, talk...etc. mike doesnt come over, so im over him. he said he was working this weekend. who knows!?? jay came over friday but i am not interested in him. hes nice but blahhh i dont feel like talking about this stuff now. i just cant wait to get this ankle bracelet off!!! ya know!???! i want a new hairstyle! um, tattoo!!! yeah! you know!???! ok so...ill be back
ok so one guy looks nice he has piercing and tattoos and a motorcycle BUT he really reminds me of my sisters husband and that just...no! i do not like the same type as lisa she likes sort of doofusy guys...you know? idk , i cant like..become attracted to anyone that lisa dated or is married too....no way! ha
ok so one guy looks nice he has piercing and tattoos and a motorcycle BUT he really reminds me of my sisters husband and that just...no! i do not like the same type as lisa she likes sort of doofusy guys...you know? idk , i cant like..become attracted to anyone that lisa dated or is married too....no way! ha
Saturday, April 18, 2015
bored
I am so bored! I sat outside for a bit and I was coloring with markers on these little canvas'es, sharpies. it is so gorgeous outside.! Nothing can compare to the summery warmth of Jersey uh..summers. sigh...i really need some friends to hang out and chill with. I really want to do asmr type stuff. if i had a cool chill girl friend to do manicures and pedicures with, then yeah!?? i mean, i can always go to the uh...manicure place. i started out a profile on match.com, but i cant afford to pay 21.99 a month!? wow!??! i just want to meet someone. it is so hard to anymore!??! i mean, im not around anyone. i want someone that i am into...someone to sit outside, hang out, listen to music, ok, drink some wine...also i want to do alot of things this summer wtf? i asked mike to come over today but he is too tired from work too. we need to really just drift apart. i am trying to meet someone i can eventually get married too and have a family.
i am picky im not acting all desperate tho. like i said in the profile, i am not looking for rude, crude, boring or dull!! i hate assuming guys, i hate guys who are immature...i hate guys who are horny idiots, you know? i hate boring guys. i like sexy, confident, funny, outgoing, respectful, cute, attractive, friendly, has lots of good friends, sweet, romantic (i never really had that before)....loyal..good qualities now that i am older, im over the worried if someone is a cheater or whatever you know? and its time to grow up from getting excited over any pretty female that walks by. i mean, sigh. i want someone fun! some one adventurous. you can tell friendly eyes. i love when you can see a twinkle or a sparkle or a smile in someones eyes. i like crystal blue eyes or warm smiling brown eyes. i like someone that i just 'mesh' with...instant attraction...someone with whom i can talk about anything and not have them judge me. i just...i want a real relationship. it has been so long. i mean, i was living with mike but that has been over 2 years ago. its time to move on, you know??
i also like guys who do have a fashion sense, nothing too fancy but someone who dresses casual but doesnt look like they have no sense of style!??! man i wish i can go somewhere now. im dying here! i am so over this! i have a whole fucking month left WTF..
yeah i know i am 36, but i dont want to really date anyone that seems older. i mean lucky for me i still look very young, and i still think the same way i do when i was younger? i mean, i am wiser and all that and yes i am ready to be an adult...
what else? hmm...im starving!! i cant wait until this ends! it is so nice outside!!! i feel like there was more i wanted to say!?? hmm...
i also want a guy who knows how to cook! grill what not!?? make a good drink!??! um...someone who is entertaining as well. someone who slightly intimidates me...keep me on edge...yah!!
oh man!!! im not trying to slut it up i just want to go on dates. where are cute interesting guys!??!
sigh. yeah what else did i want to say!???! hmm...i also dont need someone who is a millionaire just someone who wants to rent a house with me...decorate, go on trips. you know!??!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND~!!!
and a cool girl friend, you know , a girl to do things with like painting and all that girly stuff!!!!
i am dying of boredom here!!! yeah. i dont want someone to think of me as a joke either i want someone that does truly like me....
im starving!!! i cant think of what else i wanted to say!???
i am picky im not acting all desperate tho. like i said in the profile, i am not looking for rude, crude, boring or dull!! i hate assuming guys, i hate guys who are immature...i hate guys who are horny idiots, you know? i hate boring guys. i like sexy, confident, funny, outgoing, respectful, cute, attractive, friendly, has lots of good friends, sweet, romantic (i never really had that before)....loyal..good qualities now that i am older, im over the worried if someone is a cheater or whatever you know? and its time to grow up from getting excited over any pretty female that walks by. i mean, sigh. i want someone fun! some one adventurous. you can tell friendly eyes. i love when you can see a twinkle or a sparkle or a smile in someones eyes. i like crystal blue eyes or warm smiling brown eyes. i like someone that i just 'mesh' with...instant attraction...someone with whom i can talk about anything and not have them judge me. i just...i want a real relationship. it has been so long. i mean, i was living with mike but that has been over 2 years ago. its time to move on, you know??
i also like guys who do have a fashion sense, nothing too fancy but someone who dresses casual but doesnt look like they have no sense of style!??! man i wish i can go somewhere now. im dying here! i am so over this! i have a whole fucking month left WTF..
yeah i know i am 36, but i dont want to really date anyone that seems older. i mean lucky for me i still look very young, and i still think the same way i do when i was younger? i mean, i am wiser and all that and yes i am ready to be an adult...
what else? hmm...im starving!! i cant wait until this ends! it is so nice outside!!! i feel like there was more i wanted to say!?? hmm...
i also want a guy who knows how to cook! grill what not!?? make a good drink!??! um...someone who is entertaining as well. someone who slightly intimidates me...keep me on edge...yah!!
oh man!!! im not trying to slut it up i just want to go on dates. where are cute interesting guys!??!
sigh. yeah what else did i want to say!???! hmm...i also dont need someone who is a millionaire just someone who wants to rent a house with me...decorate, go on trips. you know!??!
I WANT A BOYFRIEND~!!!
and a cool girl friend, you know , a girl to do things with like painting and all that girly stuff!!!!
i am dying of boredom here!!! yeah. i dont want someone to think of me as a joke either i want someone that does truly like me....
im starving!!! i cant think of what else i wanted to say!???
friday
i dont know what it is but.MOSS ANNOYS THE SHIT OUT OF ME! gosh!! he is aware of this tho....im not going to go into why tho!??! so i really do like the way my room is organized. it actually is giving me a sense of hope. i dont know, that might sound weird. so, i have a month left.when i went to walmart the other week, (and other times i went to walmart), i felt so...indifferent. i always feel like someone who has been in jail or prison and has been released is always stuck in a time warp...you know? as if they were just...stuck...frozen in time. unaware of how the outside world works. even tho i am not confined within the walls of the jail....(the way we had to go through several doors and wait in holding rooms for the next door to open...yeah...our area was on the third floor, and we had to get buzzed in through each door. the air was stoic, id say, well they did have air conditioning....yes it got cold! keep in mind, i was there in february and mid march, so it was still cold. it is so strange now that the weather is changing and getting warmer. i mean, i feel like i am in some sort of time warp)....like i said, i am not stuck in the jail anymore, but i am stuck at home. yes i do have the internet, tv, ps4, dvd player...books, i am really starting to forget that life exists outside of brainards nj. yeah when i am working i do leave but i go to a huge, cold warehouse with no windows in it! you know? i love my room tho. it is so cozy. i also have one of those things to view my windows on my flatscreen, so that is cool. its nice and cozy in my room ah yes it is! i set up my steamer thing...humidifier or whatever it is, vaporize..and it clears the air out.
i know that it seems like a long time, left...but it really isnt!?? its like, four more weeks! and im going to be working again so that should help. i know that once i am 'free' again, i am going to feel so...i dont know, its going to feel odd!???! oh i am not going to get fucked up tho. you would think!?? but i want to make it to 100 days sober....why not!?? i mean, i can just keep continuing to be sober, see how far i go!??? right???
i started writing that story too, (but i have started writing it so many times??) ahh
i want to do fun things this summer. i mean, yeah i most definately would try to go to adult swim headquarters HA!??! i need someone to go with me tho....ya know!??!? and yes i do want to go to nawleans! new orleans!!! for sure
and i love canada! havent been there in years. entourage premiere in LA, but ....meh..not a priority at this time in my life. priority is to get back on track!
shoot!! what else>???? i want to try blue apron meals they look like they have good meals huh
jay came over with some movies we watched starry eyes and hypercube. also watched some youtube stuff about synchronicity..and like...hypercubes (cube!)
what else, what ELSE!??! ah i have no idea!???!?
i know that it seems like a long time, left...but it really isnt!?? its like, four more weeks! and im going to be working again so that should help. i know that once i am 'free' again, i am going to feel so...i dont know, its going to feel odd!???! oh i am not going to get fucked up tho. you would think!?? but i want to make it to 100 days sober....why not!?? i mean, i can just keep continuing to be sober, see how far i go!??? right???
i started writing that story too, (but i have started writing it so many times??) ahh
i want to do fun things this summer. i mean, yeah i most definately would try to go to adult swim headquarters HA!??! i need someone to go with me tho....ya know!??!? and yes i do want to go to nawleans! new orleans!!! for sure
and i love canada! havent been there in years. entourage premiere in LA, but ....meh..not a priority at this time in my life. priority is to get back on track!
shoot!! what else>???? i want to try blue apron meals they look like they have good meals huh
jay came over with some movies we watched starry eyes and hypercube. also watched some youtube stuff about synchronicity..and like...hypercubes (cube!)
what else, what ELSE!??! ah i have no idea!???!?
Friday, April 17, 2015
fish center contacted me!
hey! well i sometimes watch fishcenter on adult swim so i asked on the facebook if i could be a guest on the live taping they said to email them so i did! well i got a reply this morning:
Hello Lori —
I’m the Production Assistant for Fischenter Live and I’m writing on behalf of the team to invite you to join us in studio during a live taping of Fishcenter. Would be you available to come in on April 30th? We would need you in the studio from about 3:30p – 5:00p. If this works for you please let me know and I will coordinate with my producer and the hosts and we will get you in to join us for the show.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Thanks,
Jonothon Mitchell
adultswim.com
Digital Production Assistant
I mean, this is pretty cool huh!?! HELL YEAH...but...i will not be available on the 30th!! i will still be on house arrest!??! i mean, and i would also have to plan a trip...i emailed them back and asked if it is ok if i can go in june? i have not heard back yet...
but of course , i mean! why wouldnt i go!?? haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
so yeah!
i mean, and fishcenter is at williams st in atlanta, so of course!!! i go!??! right!???!
ok...needs to take shower.
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