it is beautiful outside. i can hear people working outside. i forget how it is like to enjoy myself. i mean, being stuck in the house like this is awful. you know? i don't know, i just...it is starting to affect me now that the weather is nice. i need to meet someone tho. i mean, when this is finally done, then what? i am going to try and remain sober even after this is done....but i want to keep busy by doing fun, outdoorsy things, such as picnic, exploring, motorcycle ride, photoshoots etc. mike doesn't like to do anything, and he is boring. i mean, he is not creative or anything. where can i meet someone? i also want my own place, but once i obtain all this, keeping busy and having friends is important. 

i forget how it feels like to be alive. i am so used to just...going to sleep, waking up, and being stuck. i cannot even breathe anymore!??!?

sigh................i am so bored. i want to travel this summer, as i expressed...but to be honest, if i have no one fun to pal around with in new orleans, what is the point? that is end of the summer.


i am really hoping to do a lot of fun things this summer. i know right now i feel kind of....nothing, i feel nothing! i am nuetral to life. my life is waiting for the day to pass. 

however, that just means that i will feel extra good once summer is here.

i need a partner in crime tho!

i mean, jay said he wants to do things but at the same time...i also want to go on fun dates with a guy  i am super attracted too...


i need to meet someone yo!! sigh.............oh yes trips i would LIKE to go too!!!
in my life

i also forget williams st in atlanta georgia! heck yeah i want the opportunity to go there. i cant believe moss passed on that opportunity.

i also need to work. smx hasnt called back. jen and christine keep bugging me about calling staffmark for work.

well i will call them tomorrow then. for sure!! for shizzo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sigh... i am on house arrest tho how will that work out if they do get me work? do they need to contact my officers?

this summer i want to make fun videos

you know, summer to me is a magical time so i want to find someone to have sweet, romantic lemonade summer days with!!! most guys are so lame and boring tho!

should i try a dating site!???!

hmm............i dont know!???

i wish i could get a beer...would love to sit outside and have one.

i need to find someone who can also be my driver!! for sure