- Retro Truck, summer, outdoors (old timey vintage truck, I love those!)
- candlelight
- Christmas lights and darkness, lit up by Christmas Lights
- glowy
- color run powder
need a partner in crime
i need something new
i am getting so bored, life feels stale!??!? jeffree star has the lipsticks but i do not have my bank card. wtf!??? they go out of stock quickly too...fakkkk
another synch...so since i was on the topic of prince and muppets and elevator and what not, i saw a video on youtube about the prince rogers elevator, i will put a link up. so im watching it, and i noticed...prince, he actually lived in minnesota, (right?) yeah, so...he lived right by the great lakes! and the one lake i could not remember, (if you read the next blog), it was lake MICHIGAN! so i am watching it, and then this part in the video comes up showing where prince lived on google maps, as it scanned out i saw it was the great lakes (the lake even looks like it is pointing at princes house...also looks like a demon muppet or something...another one looks like mickey mouse, and it looks like they showed the prince on the muppets on THE DISNEY CHANNEL!??! whoa!!! so anyways, wow....kind of answered my brain fart (i hate that word, it just works right now tho), and said LAKE MICHIGAN...
see disney?
mickey mouse (im not sure where that location is tho...but it ahh i dont know !??)
point is, i was wondering what the one lake was that i could not think of, and it is MICHIGAN...
i do not know if i shared this synch, but i will now. the day after prince died, i got out of work and went to sheetz for breakfast. they have on tv and cnn was on, and they were talking about prince of course, but the song that was also playing was 'another one bites the dust'...anyways, i wanted to watch when prince was on the muppets, and at 5:35 the one little rat makes a joke about 'another one bites the crust' and ,prince covers his one eye...see for yourself also, the rat asks him, 'where do you get the ideas for your songs?' and he makes up a song and he is singing about 'lucy' aka lucifer...
synch friday: i had a feeling i was going to get a synch today, and sure enough, it happened. so my dad msgd me on fb, they were watching baby lila. oh yeah, i have my nj license back, and he let me use the car to do some errands today. they had to babysit. i went to the infusion center to get my iron iv, then i went to the post office to submit in my old passport for a new one, then i went to walmart to pick up my pills. let me tell you, it felt_________so...good. to drive. it really truly did. it just reminded me, of feeling human, and when the pa suspension is lifted, i will feel so good. when i pay off the fines, i will feel so good...when i get a car, i will feel so good...when i get off sasi!!!! I WILL FEEL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!! i tell you, right now, i am not gonna lie, my life, well, it is very lonely and depressing. my job, i mean, its a job, right? i used to want a job where i worked alone at night, but that was being a security guard making 18.00 an hour, this job...well...i do not make that much. but its a job, for now. but like i said, i go through a range of emotions because i have nothing but thoughts on my mind, along with my mechanical zoned out work mode, i also tend to think of things i never got to experience in life. the loneliness and the thoughts, well, that is the hard part. someone asked me, 'do you want to get married and have kids,' i was like wtf? with you? HA that was weird...someone msgd me that. im like, first of all, aint none of yo business...why you asking me that!?? the nerve! it just irritated me that this person asked me that question, as if i am failing at life or something. it just...struck a nerve. not because i am afraid i am getting older, and that this 'old maid' myth is setting in...not at all. i learned alot of patience...and humility and humbleness. after this dui ordeal is done and over with , (i still have 4 years of probation now, but i might be able to get a motion next year to get out early), i will just be a stronger person, and more appreciative of life. yes i would like to meet someone and get married and have kids, but i will in no means rush that or go and marry the first person like i am some sort of pathetic loser who can no longer snag a guy. truth is, i am not even trying. i am just focusing on doing the right thing right now. in order to even find someone to get married too, well, i have to find them. and i do not go out. and i am EXTREMELY picky so not just anyone will do. i mean, i think alot, but right now i do not feel like writing my thoughts on meeting my eternal partner in crime...but anyways...on to the synchronicity part... so my dad msgd me and told me to put on cbs. dr phil. i guess whitneys friend was talking about bobbi christina. idk. but when i turned on cbs, it was ellen. so i just left it on. mario lopez was on and they were doing a little pie game with elizabeth berkely. the one who couldnt guess MIGHT get a PIE/pi to the face. mario was supposed to name all the great lakes. he named lake erie, huron, and uh..the other one. but he forgot the other two. so it was lake superior and lake ontario. at that moment, the home phone rang and the caller id said ONTARIO. mario got a PIE in the face. is this a PI synch???? well, thats all! now for some youtube!
Prince going up the elevator, where he would be found dead 19 years later.
“Security here stinks”, says the bear.
“Purple Rainman” character debut on Muppets Tonight in 5757 (Hebrew calendar)
5757 was the Hebrew year 1997, the year Prince appeared in this episode ofMuppets Tonight. Prince died this year at 57 years old. So, what?
The episode begins with Prince entering a lobby as he is greeted by a Muppet bear. The entire episode seems to center around this elevator. The bear says, “the security in this place stinks”, as Prince enters the elevator. Prince exits the elevator and is greeted by the Purple Rainman (above), who says “in the elevator, definitely in the elevator”. Prince was found dead in an elevator 19 years after this episode aired.
Also, in this episode, a Muppet describes a football game with white rats turned purple and a Prince symbol on the 50-yard line. Another Muppet speaks about 41 years, within seconds of this scene. Prince would perform at Super Bowl 41 a full decade after this episode broadcast, the crowd turned purple and his symbol at the 50-yard line, just as the episode predicted! The episode even seems to hint at Prince’s future hip replacement, which would not even be talked about for another 8 years!
The NFL would leak Prince’s halftime performance on their YouTube channel, exactly 69 days BEFORE he would die. He performed with a group called The Twinz. Twins in the womb appear in a 69 position. The Twinz also performed every weekend with Prince for a time at the Las Vegas Club Rio 3121.(That’s 4-21, the day he would die.) Prince’s ex, Vanity would die 3 days after the NFL release.
We are in the year of 69, represented by the Yin Yang symbol. The number is prominent in various calendars for this year. There are several stories here on Before It’s News documenting the curse of 69 since the beginning of this year. The bear in this Muppets episode jokes about the yin yang as Prince enters the elevator, seeming to point forward to this year. He also jokes about Dr. Rorschach, who derived his famous inkblot test from an 1857 book (Prince dead at 57).
The strange coincidences of Prince’s life continue outside this episode of the Muppets, with the song I Would Die 4U. The number 4 being April and the letter U alphanumerically equals 21. 4/21 is the date he died. The song is 2:57 minutes long. He was 57 when he died.
Then, we have the Greek torch lighting ceremony the day of his death in which Apollo (Apollonia 6 was Prince’s female lead in Purple Rain) was commemorated and a dove was released (When Doves Cry), you have yourself some troubling coincidences. The Queen of England also turned 90 the day Prince died; her celebration clad in purple cakes and purple dresses, planned well in advance of any knowledge of the pop star’d death.
The film Purple Rain was 111 minutes long. Prince died on the 111th day of the year. 9/11 has 111 days remaining in the year. Also, Prince’s 28th album released on the eve of his future death. The World Trade Center stood for 28 total years before being destroyed in Hebrew 5761.
And, though Prince did not make it to his 58th birthday, those born in 1958 will be 58 this year. Michael Jackson is in this club and he was commemorated at the 50th Super Bowl (He died at 50), with the Beyonce Halftime Performance. He was also immortalized with the Puppymonkeybaby Mountain Dew Commercial.They were depicting Bubbles, his pet puppy, monkey, baby. The Atomium cube in Brussels Belgium actually point 88 degrees to where the first bomb went off at the airport in a terror attack earlier this year.
Prince talks about dying young in the 2:57 minute song lyrics, Under the Cherry Moon. Little did he know, he would die at 57, 30 years later, under a full moon. Or, did he?
Be sure and watch the video below that documents this story and provides even more stunning details about the odd synchronicities surrounding the death of Prince (Prince portion begins at 00:10:20).
Be sure to see how Prince actually died under a real cherry Moon in the link below!
I can't wait for my OWN place, because then I can have my own office. I have been inspired by the new unboxing crate fad. Crate boxes have been a thing for a while. Ipsy is a monthly makeup box, with makeup samples etc. Blue Apron is a weekly food box, where you can make the yummy meals and they send you all the ingredients. Loot Crate is a nerdy gamer type of box, with t-shirts and stuff, (they have unboxings on youtube), Japancrate is a monthy box of Japanese snacks, (which I want to try out), there is another crate which sends you snacks from all over the world, they also have a retro pop box, but when I looked into it, I found it is a rip-off! It is 20.00 a month, but one month had patches, cheapo pins, a sheet of stickers, and a t-shirt, (they only include about 4 or 5 items, and some of the items cost about 3cents, (an eraser??? sheet of stickers??), but that's what you get. Thank goodness I did not sign up for that!??! I have an idea in the works however. It will be a homemade crate box, with a personalized touch. I want to send people homemade crafts and paintings, and copies of the scrapbooks of tips and recipes I made. I would also include fun things like stickers and perfume samples, etc. I wish I could find someone to trade boxes with. I want to start a pen pal type thing too...
so, today, i watched 'irrational man' with joaquin phoenix and emma stone, at mikes house...i actually watched it with mike, but the movie STARS them...anyways...i was thinking, not every movie will make mention to poison...and it made me think, perhaps...i just indulge my fantasy about poison being a subliminal sign towards me...idk...i mean, poison is a common theme...but irrational man...SPOILERS...nevermind...its a good movie. so... oh yeah almost forgot, i had a dream about the northern lights, and in the movie irrational man, it says NORTHERN LIGHTS on the marquee of the movie theater in the background...also just heard that song on my ipod too watched harry and the hendersons on netflix. mike wanted to watch it. he left and then i watched peewees big holiday. my parents came home and my dad asked what else did i watch on netflix, so i said we watched 'harry and the hendersons' at that moment, right after i said that, a CAVEMAN (in the peewee movie) said BIGFOOT! harry and the hendersons is about a bigfoot. and...in irrational man, one of his lovers says to him, 'you fucked me like a CAVEMAN' also noticed milkshakes in peewees holiday as well as the milkshake and fish platter he worked off in peewees big adventure (which my dad later wanted to watch)...then put on tv and cooper barret was on and they were talking about milkshakes. earlier today we drove past raspberry st, and i heard raspberry beret last night at your welcome inn (in honor of prince dying)...passed peach street, i sprayed peach body spray earlier in the day.. heard blinded by the light as the sun blinded my eyes.."father always told me to never look in the sun" i think they tried to tease me, in a sense, in the new peewee movie. they went to a snake farm (peewee hates snakes) there was a joke about baby rattles and he mentioned venom, so im thinking 'prepare to hear a poison'...but according to fact, snakes are not poisonous, they are venomous (remember the truck new orleans poison snake commercial?? they SHOULD of said 'venom') anyways, i saw a sign, which had the skull which is known for poison,.and i saw an ion..(thinking, yep its a poison sign..literally).but then later i realized it said CAUTION on it. i feel that was a tease...so then he encounters 'farmer brown' and he has 9 daughters and one of them is louise. louise brown, like my mom..but the daughter...farmer brown...idk kind of felt like...it was a name. i remember there was something said about 'well you got the name' or something, maybe peewee shared a nickname with the girl who was also peewee, but it felt like that also had double meaning to it like, 'you got the name somewhat right" although i do not quite remember now... and my dad talked about a subliminal bell...he studied moviemaking in college and they used to ring a bell when something subliminal happens in the movie...i notice that at the drive in, the peewee character rings a bell, and we see the actual peewee there...but anyways, the reason why my dad said that is because they used the same actress as simone in the new pee wee movie, and she says 'au revoire' like she did in peewees big adventure... anyways, thats all ....i think.... RINGS BELL
i was at work, listening to my ipod, and a taylor swift song came on. 'wildest dreams', anyways, it made me think of aaron bleyaert (conan guy) lol...anyways for some reason i thought of how he says he likes TAYLOR SWIFT! next day i see he posts this pic...(yeah i feel a little creepy scouring around for his pic but oh well...yo)
next synchromiss:
i started my iv treatments 2 weeks ago, and so....i said the iron tastes like sarsparilla. later that day, we went to the opening of the easton market, and they had sarsparilla soda!
next..
i was also listening to my ipod at work, and tupac, 'everywhere i go, i see the same HO's! " came on at that moment i looked up and i saw that the letters H and O were printed out, saying HO' (also an S) ((i was printing out the name Hosmer))
today my mom said something about getting a FINE when i saw on a car, the word, reFINED bowties
at the iv place today, i heard on the radio something about 2 hours (i forget what it was tho)...and just then the nurse said in the distance, '2 hours'
Well, not quite the Hollywood sign..but a hollywood sign regardless. On the way to work, it smelled like pot at 25th street. This reminded me of Hollywood, how it just smells like that, because people can smoke pot right out in the open. Anyways, that got me thinking about when the next time I will be in Hollywood will be? Well, when???!??! We came to the stoplight, and the license plate on the car in front of us was HLY (and a few numbers) HLY. HOLLY! however, there was no WOOD to finish it. So I looked out the window and looked at signs and words, because I just knew I WOULD see the word WOOD, somehow... then i saw it! On the sign for a restaurant called Carabbas, it said "WOOD fired grill!" WOOD! THE WOOD made its appearance! hollyWOOD!!!! the pause symbolized the pause in which I am in now...the pause in life, indicating that i have to wait for it (like I had to wait to see the WOOD), but it will happen! i just have to wait a bit!!!!
Monday, April 18, 2016
it is so nice out, summery, and i am in dire need of a change! changes! so anyways, let's see...all i want is to get my own place!! YES!! i want a country home. for real! anyways, i was supposed to see my PO last thursday, but they called and cancelled it. i got a letter for may 10th to see her. i wanted to ask her about GD sasi!! i just want to know how long can i expect to be on sasi for!??? erghhh i do not want to stay at this job. but its money...
I really HATE MY HAIR and it makes me feel so depressed because it is so ugly. why do i always ask the safe, basic hairstylists to layer my hair. and i always go to holiday hair or some mall salon. i need to find this guy to do my hair, or go to eskandalo in bethlehem where they specialize in unique shades. anyways, i cannot stand my weird layered hairstyle (i hate layers!! especially when they are so short up front)...i was thinking about doing the lavender/silver thing, but i feel that that look is over now, and its more of a younger girl thing...i mean, i do want to dye my hair...so i thought ash blonde maybe...or something...or white blond with black underlights... but i think i want to try this rose gold color! this is so pretty! and i am getting a bob...evened out. no more layers, and no more perm. im sick of this hair need a change
Corey is still begging for money etc so I had a listen and a watch at his video, and its a looksy at his mansion. hes doing well, whats he doing, with that fundme account for 100,000.00!?? anyways, i got to admit, the song is kind of catchy! HA
Watching Dr. Oz, which prompted me to share my experience working at White Castle. A lot of restaurants are dirty; plain and simple. I worked in all sorts of fast food restaurants, Burger King, Mc Donalds, Wendy's etc. At these places, we cleaned. Every...single...day, and we wiped down the counters and tables almost every hour. Someone would clean the bathroom, using actual bathroom cleaning products. Let me tell you, when I worked at White Castle in Phillipsburg, it was the worst experience ever. The young workers ruled the place, and no one, absolutely no one, made an effort to clean the place. The main manager was not there at night, and the night managers were very lackadasical and clueless about running a fast food joint. Most of them were 19 or 20 themselves. They hardly communicating with myself, it was very weird and awkward. Aside from the snide comments I received from some high school girl, (I do not know what that was about..??) on a constant, this is how the run the place. You ask for no onions? Doesn't matter, they just pluck off the onions with the spatula anyways, still having onion juices on the bun. Burgers and chicken can be sitting there for a long time, a very long time. There are no scheduled rotations. Other places, we had to write the time with one of those greasy pencils, so when the time limit was up, we had to throw those out. Yes, you are supposed to make them fresh on the spot, but for some items, they will be made ahead of time and just sit there. Dirty rags are used to wipe down the counters, (hot soapy water), and they put the burgers...right on that counter! To 'clean' the bathroom, that includes a hot, soapy (if the soap works), bucket of water, with a dirty ass mop. A rag and some sort of degreaser. We were never taught how to clean the bathrooms, and I do believe that the same rag used to wipe down the nasty toilet seats are also used to wipe down the sinks and faucets. No one cleans the soda fountain, ever. When I worked at Wendy's, and other places, every single night we cleaned it with the special cleaning products and we put the caps in a container of seltzer water overnight. This does not happen at White Castle due to the dining area being open all night. Drunks often came through drive thru or in the dining area. It was....weird. I used to work 7-3am. I thought those were bad hours. Now, I work 430-3am. Ughhh... anyways, here is a link to the yelp review. interesting to read, i will say http://www.yelp.com/biz/white-castle-phillipsburg?hrid=dQL50aFkklWfYJx2Wx8sRw
by the way, i think the manager was stealing. just a feeling i got, a feeling ABOUT HER STEALING! she once made a comment , "show me the money!" and got all excited when we had a lunch rush. i thought to myself, 'why do you care? you aint gonna see that money?'
i also would see her doing weird transactions on the register, like she was making it look like she was re-issuing returns, and keeping the cash? she also did not want us to use the hair nets or even the scouring pads to wash the dishes. she wanted us to reuse them!?? they got dirty fast from all the grease....those little items add up tho $$$ and for some reason she did not want to spend the money on those necessities. oh she wanted us to buy hairnets.
some examples of reviews:
Let me start with the positive. The food was good, well it was exactly what I wanted, greasy White Castle ;-). It was also hot, always a plus. This is actually why I'm giving them two stars. From here it went down hill very quickly.
Again, this is White Castle so it went in with my eyes wide open. The place was dirty and not cleaned at all. Food and napkins all over the place and multiple ketchup spills well dried on tables a chairs. Then there were the fruit flies at the condiment area - yuck!
It's not like they were busy, because they were not. If it was that dirty where customers visit I shudder to think what it looks like behind the counter.
The memory of the bugs will haunt me enough that I doubt I will return in the future. Maybe in a couple years I'll walk in to check it out but most likely I'll never return.
Someplace Harold & Kumar are weeping in each other's arms. just read a review about a customer complaining about a young lady at the register...???
It's a phenomenon that I will never get... but every now and then get drawn in to buy a meal. So I stop in this fine establishment against my better judgement one day for lunch. As much as I tried to keep it simple, even ordering was a chore with the young lady at the register. I tell her what I don't want on a burger, and she repeats it back to me wrong. Then gets annoyed as if I was asking for a burger cooked slightly medium, but not too rare... All I wanted was one of the usual toppings to not be put on the burger. Well, not only was the order wrong, the fries that I got looked like they were either put in a microwave to cook, or just set in a window to thaw out. Just an awful effort from start to finish... I guess it'll be another several years before my curiosity brings me into another one of these places to see if they've improved...
to be fair, they do not train properly. they just stick you on the registers, and the drive thrus, without proper training. they make you feel bad if you do not get it right away. that place is bad.
other places i worked at, we had someone standing by us ALL DAY , say if they wanted to train us on drive thru, then we had someone standing next to us all day, and we were only on drive thru. white castle will just throw you on there to fend for yourself. it does take a while to get used to the registers.
the managers were rude. just a bad place to work at. there was a kid who that was his first job. i feel sorry for him. what a terrible work ethic to set the tone.
moss told me he would pay me 10,000.00 if i can find him the newspaper from the day the music died. i tried, but could not find a way? well, he found it. this tells me, if i scratch a bit, perhaps i can find his next offer. its a newspaper from when james dean died. i have been emailing around, so hopefully i catch a fish! would be great, could you imagine? anyways, i was still thinking about it when i went to facebook, and i saw a sign. 'snipe' is what he calls these memorabilia, historical issues, posters etc. look at the sign can you spot it?
who is gigi hadid? uh...idk!?? i guess shes some new fresh-faced young model, along with the likes of kendall jenner, cara delevigne...and um...idk? anyways, (there is also video footage as well), reason why i pondered upon this is because i saw it on tmz on the tv...she is clearly doing a runway walk once she leaves her vehicle...why is she walking like that? she feels fierce, yet fails to notice the peeing dog!??? now she look like a vain fool!
HILARIOUS! oh, i just noticed, if you scroll down, its a post about me having to pee so bad!? hey!?? whats that supposed to mean? i am a dog!?? i should pee like a dog, on some model!??? HAAA weird
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
I am sitting here and I have to PEE SO BAD, but I can't go or else I will not be able to go when I go to sasy....but my bladder is painfully bothering me. How is this possible? I have to go to work at 430. I do not have time to wait around until I have to pee, how is this legal? If I can find a lawyer who can take on my case that SASI caused me bladder problems, then so help me God, I will do that. I HAVE TO PEE!???! my dad is not home yet, i have to go NOW!??
No, i do NOT watch miranda sings. i watch youtube ppl but i watch youtube folk who are not that well known, well, lets see...i watch asmr people, or makeup ppl, but no, i do not watch miranda sings. i see that she has a book in barnes and nobles. i remember i did see her on mtv true life show, but i never saw her on the internet. i think she is really annoying, but she does have a following. mostly tweens, young kids. however, the other week or so, i was watching asmr kids (i know it sounds creepy, why watch kids of youtube. well, asmr begins when you are a child. remember playing x marks the spot and a dot dot dot, or pizza arm etc...and whenever sage used to do my makeup or nails or hair, it was so relaxing. kids just have a relaxing sense to them. kims son too had a relaxing way to him when he explained his games or got into character. so i try to look for kids doing asmr because often they do it better then grown people because they have a natural way about them. well i found this girl doing a makeup asmr, but she was also doing a spoof angle of it too. well, she made a joke, about her uncle...acting inapropriate with her. at first i thought, whoa, this girl has a dark sense of humor, or something, but i felt like...something wasn't right, so i scoured the comments to see if anyone else brought it up. a couple older guys commented on how they thought it was sOOoo cool that this young girl made a joke like that, but then i discovered that this girl got that joke from....miranda sings. i found a video where she makes a joke about it, this video, about 1:30 seconds into the vid...just keep listening. that aint funny, and i think it is very innapropriate for someone like miranda sings to make jokes like this. its just like the rape jokes. we are so conditioned by it so we don't think nothing of it, but if we really do...it aint funny. heres another video where miranda sings answers some older, bearded mans (weird?) question about her uncle, and she says she cuddles with her uncle. if you watch the video i attached, she says cuddling leads to porn, but its only ok with your uncle. this character is sick. im sure she has made other jokes about her uncle. do not let your kids watch this idiot miranda sings. heres a link to that one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUl9dj94HDg
now watch this link first thing is the uncle question:
this is really annoying the shit out of me. so...i watched the mtv movie awards last night. first of all, (that sounds like attitude waiting to happen), i remember i used to enjoy watching this awards show, now I see its all about promoting...blahhh...silly. but this annoys me. i was afraid to go see the revenent because i heard that he got raped by a bear. i really thought he did!? i mean, what do i know, why are they saying it then? i forget where or how i first heard it...im thinking...where did i hear it!?? i dont know, but i believed it, i mean, why make a statement like that? i think its so immature to perpetrate this...a friend told me that the revenent is a good movie and i asked them, does he get raped by a bear tho? i didn't want to watch the movie with my parents if that was the case. but my friend had no idea what i was talking about, he was like, no...so, i saw the movie. HE DID NOT GET RAPED BY A BEAR, i mean, the bear was behind him, yeah...but the bear was a female bear taking care of her cubs. the bear did flip him over, but...no. she was mauling and scratching at his back. it just annoys me how they keep saying he got raped , or 'fucked' like the mtv movie awards kept singing. rant! i would post it on facebook, Leo does NOT get raped by a bear, but then...nah http://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/Does-Leonardo-DiCaprio-Get-Raped-Bear-Revenant-39296205
so i have been watching jamies american road trip on pivot, and this episode he is in new orleans tasting the authentic grub from new orleans, such as gumbo and louisiana bbq. i look up and i see the 'barely legal' strip club that that stripper, moonshine bonanza' (from the youtube videos) works at. moss also told me last night to go to new orleans. surely it is a sign. i have to go! i would of went last year but due to fucking SASI i couldnt. but its ok, God is teaching me patience and humility. plus, in the meantime, i am working and saving money!
oh my gosh! i LOVE home-cooked meals, even more so then restaurant grub, i also love conversing during dinner and meeting new people. a while back i read about dinner hosting parties, where you can go to someones house where they will home cook gourmet meals for you and you can eat there. i would like to attend some supper clubs too. i just want to start living again, i want to start interacting with people. i went to church this morning, been going alot. this job is so consuming. i plan on staying maybe a year, after 6 months i get a week payed vacay, but..other then that, i cannot do this forever. the hours are tough...they are. i need to find someone, a partner in crime. i need to find a friend who likes to explore, who is adventurous, who has the need to travel, someone who wants to discover the world....someone who likes to do fun things...there is alot of events i would like to do, but with whom? for example, james franco will be having a speech at moravian college. i would go, just to do something (even tho i was uninvited to the barhop afterwards...shrug)...food truck event at steel stacks coming up...amongst others. but who can i go with?? i want to make videos for youtube... oh, asmr ideas...when i get my OWN place (and not here, i lost my receipt now for marbles paperwork...this house is a mess i cant be here anymore)...but when i get my own place, i am going to start my own asmr channel. here are some ideas: - ASMR house tour - ASMR room tour - ASMR olive oil and vinegar shop and pairing - ASMR bath drawing - ASMR scratch off tickets - ASMR last meal and poison - asmr eating - asmr harley quinn roleplay - asmr beer tasting and chat - asmr drawing a story - asmr typing a story idk, i'll just have fun with it! the house tour will be me talking to the camera as if the viewer is a friend. i just cannot wait to get my own place. i will be so happy! then i can start working on going out more, meeting new people, maybe finding a mate, get married, start a family....i can meet someone i am into, i just...i am very picky plus i do not go out. its not that i am a lost hopeless cause. i went to church and a few things felt like God speaking to me. see, i like music, but i do not sing. but, i find that...its a spell, secular music that is. it enchants and embraces you, like a spell. christian type music does not have this affect, for it has not been 'blessed' by lucifer, cast angel of music. i dont sing in church tho. but a few things stood out for me. the preacher was talking about time...seasons. but time will cease to exist or exist all in the same existential manner after we pass from this world. he also said 'balance' we need balance, so does that been yin and yang, as above so below (SYNCH just now i looked up, watching a foodie show on pivot, and the floor he is on is a CHECKERBOARD BLACK AND WHITE FLOOR! ooh he is hosting a dinner party! ifi had a smartphone i would take a pic of the black and white checkerboard floor. he said sometimes things happen in your life because God caused them. perhaps the dui was from God, and not 'them'. God did that for a reason. i was not meant to be floundering about in california etc. instead, i was supposed to chill out for a bit, to show myself, that i do NOT need to go out every weekend, i do not need to drink all the time. it showed me that i am ready to move on and not be stuck in that unhealthy mindframe. if i drink, well...i do not need to get drunk. i am fine just cooking and watching movies. i want to start writing. art. once again, i cannot wait to get my own place! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/18/dining-app_n_3942874.html
OH MY GOSH! i cant stop laughing. this reminds me of moss! i sent him a link, he seen it but has not commented on the similarities, so i will just share it here!
I have always been into seeing what its like to be a stripper. its just interesting to me,,,anyways, what im watching now....
oh, you know, it is hot to know that you look good and all eyes are on you! like, a good beat comes on and you just get lost in your song, and you know that people are admiring. sounds slutty but i dont care. it feels good to know you look good.
i wanted to say, when i am at work and i listen to my ipod, and when i hear a really good song, a feeling comes over me, much like that of the feeling one gets when they eat vegemite, (i suggest thinly spread vegemite on toast however, not a big scoop or you will salivate a headache something else)...but its like this....weird vibration....that a good catchy song can bring...
but you know, i like music. i sometimes think of good gospel music. anyways...watching this video now
Ok, so here is the story. I was not going to tell it, ever, but fuck it, what do I care. You know how I always used to talk about how I was being 'gang-stalked' in a sense? Well, it turns out that I was being monitored for possible recruitment. I guess, 'they', took a liking to me or what I could possibly offer to the system. I am not quite sure, to be exact. I just know that I have been put in situations which simulated reality tv, or acid trips on acid. About 2 or 3 years ago, I finally was approached with an offer, to make a satanic oath and become one of them, or refuse and risk having my life turned into hell on earth. Since I have high faith and do not believe that 'they' can replicate 'hell on earth', i had to refuse. Well, I thought long and hard over the offer. It happened when I was at the breaking bad wrap-up party at the hollywood forever cemetery. We were in the masonic temple, in fact. Marilyn manson told me about it. He told Moss and I. Moss, (which I always figured), was already in. He took the oath. A blood oath. He used to joke about having hid a body in the desert, which I always found creepy. I suppose that was his blood offering, and in return he obtained a large inheritance. Moss is a multi-millionaire after all, yet he does not work. Odd, wouldn't you say? Moss was trying to encourage me to sign away my soul, but I was scared and said no. Little did I know how my refusal would affect me. Remember the night of my DUI? Spinning wheel signs were everywhere. I knew something was up. The accident that blocked off entrance onto hwy 22 was set up. The police were waiting for me. This dui has in fact affected me. I am now stuck, a slave to this state. My existence is consumed by a job in a factory with terrible hours, and that is about it. I don't do anything. I no longer have excitement in my life. I am just...existing...nuetrally. However, I will not allow THEM to consume me! I will make it out of this mess, stronger and with a huge appreciation at freedom and life, experiencing life, living, being humbled and finding my journey in life, because the journey is not over. I do see things differently too. I have grown mentally, and will continue to do so. I am glad I never took the blood oath. They will never take me. ((oh just now, when i switched over to the fb tab, this is what moss just msgd me "i did
I have an exciting life Fawn - Saturday night in in L.A., and I'm about to....watch the college hockey championship on TV. #GlamorousLAlife
There is a sexy porn star here who's real last name is Zerby.
She's straight for pay. Just married another girl in real life.
Chat Conversation End
SYNCH!! i am looking through my AAHHHHHH "SO I SAW YOUR BLOG" he just said on this show im watching on lifetime its about my crazy ex' the guy revealed his middle name is helga, at that point i see this pic (pic of angus oblong, one of his characters, that i like, is helga)
dui set up
also, an example of being set up...before i spotted angus for this photo op, someone handed me a BLUE lollipop...so of course angus oblong notices my tongue was blue, so i had to stick my tongue out (or someone told me too?) blue...clown...HA!? looks like it is saying, 'she blew a clown" get it??
read comments,
oh this story about this girl dating guys shes a vlogger, and she dates for views, totally reminds me of trisha paytas and her fake relationship. hey, i do miss the excitment...now its just...well, if anything, i might rent a movie from redbox!?? i see my PO this week...i doubt she is going to take me off sasi.
So, my color was called for yesterday (sasi), and I went there, but due to a power outtage, the offices were closed. so, i was unable to do the urine test...i had to be at work at 430, so there was no way i would of made it to allentown and back to get to work in time. i just started this job, you know? so...i really can't be late. so...idk...i see my PO next week. I intend to ask her about how long am I going to be on sasi for!?? i forget living, i forget life!! so today was a busy day. i had my IV appt at 2pm at the infusion place in the hospital. i got saline as well as iron. it was pretty cozy, i had a comfy recliner and a blanket, drinks are available if one needs it (sodas, water, juice, coffee, tea)...and a personal tv. i will get iv treatments every week for 8 weeks. after that, we visited eva, an old lady from the church. she always seems very youthful to me. she always tells stories of the church that is now a house where i live, or when she used to go to the northampton jail to help with bible studies... she had a live in caretaker from kenya who answered the door. the caretaker went into the other room and was singing along with her music, kenyan i guess? i feel, in order to enrich oneself, listen to different ethnic music of music from different countries, such as indian music, or japanese pop music...etc. it will open your eyes, there is more then just the united states in fact i think i am going to find different regional music, i may post some good tunes here! the house was cozy, wall to wall carpeting, pretty...but it was empty of most furniture because she is moving elsewhere, with her daughter in law and son, in a nice country house with horses. i want to move into a country home. a farmhouse type of deal. i will get a hot tub in the back yard, and put up those rose...whatever they are..rose things idk...i kept seeing them in the rapture game..i will find pics. i work so much, hours are crazy and very consuming. i really forget feelings of resonating excitement. what else... so yeah, we visited her and her husband, then we went back to the house i made a little onesie thing for lila, and we went to lisas and saw the baby. on the way home we stopped at waffle house. now i am hoping to hang out in twitch...but whatever!??! i have a story later, but i am way too tired
