monday

hey...so i was thinking, those 'sinister' things i said i was thinking really isn't that bad, so FINE, i will share. first one, just made me think of some weird cartoon...i thought about 3 buttcheeks...on a creature..a person. ANYWAY...i saw it on cartoon network the next day!! it was on some show, (i forget)...IT HAD THREE BUTTCHEEKS, LIKE I THOUGHT!??! it was also shaped like a penis, but that aint my business...damn cartoon network and their subliminals...sigh..

the other one is because last week when i was in the print screen department, like i said, it was like a parellel to the floor ferris wheel with tray type things you put the shirts on to get screenprinted. well, i started thinking, what if a girl or a guy sits on each tray, and as it moves, (because it will move and a new shirt will be there) will be a new person...that the person standing has to kiss or do something with...so they end up kissing 16 new and different persons...but they might get sexual...but then...after all that, they come by with new weapons, starting off by slicing the person, (they are shackled in and cant move)...and it just becomes worse and worse till finally they get killed...

so yeah, that is a little 'sinister'...

anyways...i was going to blog more so i forget. blahhh...i wanted to say something else!?? what!??!? dont remember now

need wet cat food, need dishsoap, need vitamin b12

need to pay dental care

need to call education department

reschedule drs appt

peach

a few ideas..eating a peach mukbang...lol...but i do have some sketches i want to do (amongst many)...

girl has a secret to getting boys hearts to beat real fast when they are around her...(and the secret is aerosol sprays!) i thought that because last week at work someone sprayed it to clean and they were by me and smelled like that and my heart started beating fast...

i have some weird kinky japanesy fetish thoughts that popped up in my head, but im not going to share them! i get weird thoughts when i work...id share but i cant...the first one is funny (to me) the second is downright sinister...

oh well!??!

anyways, i had to write it down so i remember...we'll see!

i actually do have an eating a peach video. i looked so good back then!??! ughh need to grow out my hair

wknd

hi! so...lets see...i miss excitement...im watching the vmas and i want to go to an mtv awards show one day...i just miss EXCITEMENT!! I cant wit till i can go on a trip! so, friday we had a big spanish lunch (they brought in tacos, spanish rice...all kinds of good food, not sure if i wrote that yet)...friday mike wanted me to go with him and his friends to bethlehem bar hop, but i told shannan i was going to hang out with her. i kind of wanted to go to bethlehem (more excitement) ...meh saturday i was invited to a picnic but hung out with mike who did not want to go so we just went to subway and took a walk at merril creek...mahhh....rather would of went to a picnic with mike rasely and shannan. today we did not go to church but we did go to the easton clam jam and i had steamed clams, shrimp, samples of potato salad, sausage and baby clams, and a roasted corn on the cob with mayo, spices and parmesan cheese. so...idk what else...

no title

So, I do not like waking up so early. Its not hard to do, but...I do not prefer it. I mean, ok lets see...hmm,,,this job is too messy. i was supposed to be in inks, but i was so confused as to what was going on. the lady training me, nice as she was, did not do a good job in training me. she did not explain the sheets, or trays, used for screen print. now i know. she also did not show me where the ink goes on the trays. i thought it got there through a tube. i mean, now i know just by watching and working with them, but when i was getting trained in the ink room, i was clueless, therefore i was lost. see, each order, (meaning a shirt that is getting screen printed...like for the royals or astros or yankees, for example,) has a set of trays, or screen prints, i guess...the amount of trays varies, depending on how many colors are on the shirt. there can be say, 5 sheets or more, or maybe one sheet, if dodgers needs a white (endurance white)...you know what i mean? and so...it takes a while to actually complete an order. i did not know this at first. i was worried about how often i have to check to see which 'challenger' needs buckets of inks..and the code numbers are so small on the sheets, it was hard to read...we were supposed to go around and write down all the codes for ink colors, but make sure to check to see if its out already..see she did not explain that to me either so everything was confusing as it felt like i was just following her around. i mean, if i have to train someone, i am very specific and i explain everything...cant stand when ppl do not do this! what else...so....the gist was to just go around every so often and make sure each 'challenger' the parellel ferris wheel type thing, has the inks that order needs.
it seemed intimidating and confusing at first but since i have been on the machines and see how it works now i can see how to operate inks. also, we had to weigh and measure and mix the inks, which was fun, but very messy! plus ink is heavy...so my wrist hurt after a while.

i told her i dont want to work in the ink so she put me on the machines, and i had to pull off hoodies and shirts hot off the press. the shirts were glued with adhesive spray and it was hard to pull off...glue to keep it from moving and messing up the ink work. blahhh boring..just feel the need to explain although I AM NOT SURE WHYEEEE!??! hmm...today i was talking to this girl...well not realyl talking, she speaks espanol so she was teaching me how to say...come se dice...words..she wants to learn more english. i felt a glimpse of another world...everyone is nice, i like them. i mean, hispanic people are very lively and love to laugh. i really wish i could speak espanol. i need to learn. that girl wanted to talk to me and she was happy when we were talking. i talk to a few people there...
so anyways, i decided to go back to nights tho...at least until i get a car. then i can just find something else. there is an amazon in easton now....and i hear ingersoll rand is going to be here, last one caught on fire..

also the pburg cop i have been talking to stopped by my house, in his police car with his uniform! oh boy! HA! but he is cute and nice...but he talks alot. i like when someone is invested and interested in what i have to say, i mean, to tell the truth, that is what makes me attracted to someone...but i like to listen too. but i like when someone thinks im neat...cuz then that person is cool in my eyes! but anyways...tired

updates

Hello!! Ok, some news...well first of all...last week. I was so worried about my meeting with  my PO. I was even consulting the forces...and they all answered me, about my inquiry about getting off SASI....in which they all said NO! (new orleans sign, new orleans shirt...the NO i seen on the machines...etc). Well...sigh...I went to my meeting. I even wrote down notes to tell my PO such as, "I have been on crimson for a year, I need to know the light at the end of the tunnel...my dad cannot drive me to Allentown as I will be starting days now...I need to buy groceries"...so I get there, and she asks me how I am, and she says 'good' when I say, 'good'. Then she asks if I finished everything, and I said yes, so I see her get on the phone and she says, "I'm sending her in"...
She also says she does not think I will be getting in trouble anytime soon, and I said, 'no way! worse mistake of my life!" so then she tells me she is giving me a new probation officer. I felt relief. I replied , "oh good". Executive PO. So I meet him and go to his office, and he tells me I no longer have to go in for meeting anymore, that I just have to call him monthly.
I was like, 'wow!" So I got in the car, and I forgot to ask him about sasi, so I called him back and I asked him if I am still on sasi, and he tells me he would like to see a few clean urines before he takes me off because he took someone off who then went and got a third offense...I was like, "I'm not going to do that anytime soon, or EVER!"
so, yes, I am still on sasi...but I just have to go a few more times. He might change the color or just take me off completely, (WHICH I HOPE!)

next..I am not sure if I want to stay at this job...I think I might go back to my old department. I have 4 more days to decide if I want to stay here.
seems kind of confusing...but I do have to give it a few more days. Its just so messy, and stains my clothes with ink. I do not have much clothes to mess up either. I hate waking up super early too. Hate working super late, hate waking up super early. 1030-7would be perfect, but I never got that job???!??! I just want a new job. At a new place. Just trying to stay for my paid vacay...

ughhh whatever i dont know, im tired. 

crimson

so...i kept thinking of finding out the psychic syncronicity way what my PO is going to do..i see her in a few hours..SYNCHS

i was looking around for psychic, and saw something about a cold reading. i read it and it showed (heard shows on tv) how psychics use cold readings to scam people, also shows on tv with a psychic and an audience. next day, on dr oz, there were two famous psychics doing those tricks i read about, but the ones on the show seen like they are real....but come on...but it was just weird how i read about that and next day i saw that. so i wanted some sort of sign...YES or NO so the other day, i thought, 'send me a sign' ...well, the mail came and it was a postcard from moss, of when he was at NEW ORLEANS!! N.O. NO!! whuuuut!???! ughhh...no..that was my sign....what else...at work i was printing out letters and saw SOON and NO NO NO (because i was printing out letters for donaldson...so lots of NO's there)...magic 8 ball on my old supervisors desk said YES DEFINATELY...just now i google psychic yes or no and got the oracle site, so i asked if i will be taken off sasi, and it said no...and then i look up and see a shirt someone got killed on, and it was a shirt of NEW ORLEANS...ughhh...wtf? also when i told moss that, about the yes or no reveal yourself and his postcard, he said ...NOLA! for NEW ORLEANS LOUISIANA
i was like NOLA!?? so NO...and LA...LA...LALA...lala is the girl from jail i knew who first told me about sasy, and shes dead now....so all these are bad signs!??!

but this is all in fun...i just want to get off this weekly sasi. the color is crimson...

i need to go to sleep its 4am and i see her at 930 am....

sighhhhhh!???!

One more thing....












I want to join you. I want to be a part of your team. Please, I just want my freedom back.

oh my goodness..i miss flirting so much. i forget how it feels to crush on someone. my goodness!??! i mean, it used to be easy to meet and find hot guys, but i havent dated in so long. always with mike. i am just scrolling through facebook and i see pics of this guy i met in hollywood  (he was a friend of my friend) and we all went to a halloween party. hes an actor but he was kinda flirting with me and hes hot! he played Jesus in some flick, and he has nice blue eyes, masculine square facial features, total masculinity. sigh....why cant i just meet someone? ah i never go out tho. and i am extremely picky. i just...i cant just date someone i hardly know or someone from the internet...i have to develop an attraction and only way you do that is if you see the person alot...so....who knows...

friday....i wanted to go out and celebrate but mike caught up with me before i could even try to make other plans...and hes a bore. ughh....i cant...with him anymore....we went to applebees and i had a mango jalapeno margarita and after that we went to three mugs (formerly shrutys) but mike didnt want to spend money so we just came back here...but it was fine because there was a twitch stream, but of course mike falls asleep and im robbed of any sort of actual fun with another person. saturday we watched suicide squad, (when they first show harley quinn the song i lip synched is playing i was like , RIGHT ON!!!! you dont love me)  and then we grilled up some shrimp and veggies and then we went to musikfest. i told him we can move in together if we get married and have a baby...but then i think...i cant do that with him.

i mean....he is too much of controlling person...speaking of, i copied an entire convo on fb with moss but now its not letting me post it. hes so odd, moss is, but i dont care enough right now. im gonna take a shower. i start my new hours tomorrow. now i can start eating healthy again and soon join a gym and begin working out! went to church today. oh yes, we were supposed to babysit at the nursery but they werent there so my mom and i went to the service and during the song service we started singing "My God, is an awesome God he reigns from Heaven above' and i am telling you, during that song, I had chills. I felt the Holy Spirit in that room and I seriously felt so humbled. I wanted to just...give in to the chills...Man, Our God is an awesome God! Heres the song..