SONIC BOOMS!

ok, so i have been watching season 2 of OINTB, i am at the one where tastee just gave natasha lyonnes character what looks like heroin/HORSE...

as my friend rory did her blog, she had mentioned how it represents Christ and his disciples, she had said it puts (Pi)per in the middle, as a Christ like depiction, but I think Pi-per was being used as the 'pied piper', to lure us in....intrigue us...like children are lured in with CANDY...

here is a screencap from rory's blog, (which can be found here http://synchromiss.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/orange-is-the-new-black-decoded/ )

 but i think that, it is RED that is being depicted as Christ like, like i mentioned before..

in season 2, one of the episodes, (i will have to find the name of it i forget)...she has a Last Supper-esque dinner, to make her more powerful...she also has a Judas, portrayed by Boo..(BOO! scary! halloween!!!)

Vee, (V...)...her foster daughters nickname is "Tastee" because she likes sweets...

Red only lured them in with her contraband consisting of 'candies', matches, pantyhose, makeup etc

Vee uses/manipulates/SCARES her foster daughter Candy/Tastee as a way to get out her contraband, first starting off with tobacco then looks like it turns to more serious stuff such as heroin/HORSE/year of the HORSE/horse synchs,seahorse/TRIDENT...NEPTUNE was also seen in Red's kitchen...where she started COOKING up the idea after Vee PLANTED it in her mind, later Red switches to a greenhouse, where the SEED is planted in the new GARDEN/garden of eden, forbidden fruit, apple...SPOILERS (why doesnt red just use this as a means to escape? bcuz it is supposed to subconsiously resonate ideas into the Viewers mind about Christ and Satan, (on the same team?) but NO!

on another note, with the trident, ariel from the little mermaid has RED hair...

Vee tries to lure in the lady who has CANCER with this summers popular book and movie, the fault in our STARS..

i was thinking last night, its ironic how Vees daughter is called 'tastee' like she is also luring in with candy...(candy also halloween, which is soon coming up..orange associated with halloween as well), and that song by ICE cube popped into my head, specifically these lyrics..


It's ironic, I had the brew she had the chronic
The Lakers beat the Supersonics

brew, like witches brew? halloween? in this summers hit movie, the fault in our stars, the hit song with that movie is this song...boom clap by charlie xcx (??) she does that song fancy too...i dont know why im comparing the two...supersonics...BOOM clap...supersonic...SONIC BOOM!!! idk!??!

cosmic sonic booms!!! just my stupid thoughts!! anyways...

cancer, the star cancer? i wonder how cancer relates? Vee gave the older cancer patient that CHILDRENS book, the fault in our stars, (luring us in like children?) in one episode the character with cancer, (i cant think of her name sorry), says, 'she is going to get POISON filled in her veins)...she denies Vee's feeble attempts to lure her in as if she was a child however...she asks what is her release from the real world?? she doesnt have one, because she will never be released until she dies.

(if you make a pact with the devil tho, you will NOT be released, especially when you die!)

Vee represents the Dark Lord, aka Satan. why, well, yes she is black, but she is the one who is selling more worse things, first tobacco next heroin/HORSE..

i think what this show is trying to subliminally incorporate in our minds is the idea that Jesus was a manipulator as well, but the point I had made with the way our pets and animals can love us UNCONDITIONALLY, that is the way God loves us...(thats in my other blog tho)..

i will probably touch up on this a bit more too...in the meantime!!!


subliminal Last Supper scene??

also tasty represents lure, candy, boo is like the judas, yoga jones is like the opening of the chakras to invite the devil in...the one who doesnt speak, mary? represents silence!, silence programming...who else, natasha lyonnes character not sure yet..morello...not sure..um, who else..the other ones...idk!?? lol!



 










 

unconditonally

wow its such a nice day out! you know, i didnt even get to really enjoy this summer!??! i just kind...moped around. i am pissed because my last dui was 10 years ago, in 2004. if it had been a few months after....listen, if i would of gotten pulled over for DUI, say, in or after july this year, then it would of counted as my first, because after 10 years the dui's dont count anymore. i really do not want to worry about being babysat. thats the only thing that i do not want to deal with! being babysat for 5 years, (probation). 5 years!? thats pretty hefty. thanks sara. jk but still, i mean, why did they want to go to bethlehem? if gino wasnt planning on drinking alot, due to driving, then why couldnt they meet up closer to me? but isnt pen argyl far to drive to bethlehem? i didnt care if i went out anyways. i just keep thinking, that friday i posted something about someone taking me out to red lobster, i got no replies, (but i probably wouldnt of taken up anyones offer either)...i would of had jay drive but he had gabby that wknd (his daughter), or mike rasely...who doesnt drink! mike ended up going to bethlehelm that night and i wanted to leave boring macgradys and meet up with him at your welcome or i just would of followed him but sara kept telling me how she doesnt like mike so i didnt really text him...i was so concerned about getting my fucking car towed. she kept mentioning a house party and i kept thinking to myself, eh..im gonna just go to mikes and drink there..but we left to walk to that house party and it was nothing but a few ppl standing out in the cold smoking cigarettes. one thing i hate doing is standing outside in the cold while ppl smoke cigarettes! so i kept saying, 'im gonna get going', but no one seemed to of heard me??! then i had to pee and the girl let me use her bathroom...then sara wanted to go to mollys...so i was like fine...and it was crowded but we had taken some pics. i still have nj surcharges that need to be payed, about 6000.00, and well.....i am dead broke...i cant get a job!?? 

i don't know!?? today is a nice day out tho! nice and sunny, hot enough to go swimming in fact. mike suggested going to scottis to go swimming. he came back and then  i said, 'i dont really talk to her that much' and he got upset with me. he got arbys, got me a jr roast beef but forgot arbys sauce. fine, i can ask her if she has a new, skimpy bikini she can wiggle her butt in? he pretends to get mad at me...blah blah blah! i wish i can meet someone new, actually, i mean, i just want to work. just work and work and work, keep my mind off things, save money.

i saved money to give to the lawyer, who never calls me back. i just want to ask him why did i agree to do those classes? so even without him, i would of had the same outcome?  (deleted words who knows?) can at least act like he did something to help me? i dont think he did anything tho!? he wasnt even at the last court hearing, i didnt see a judge!??! i just was told that my paperwork has been submitted to the ASP. i thought that i can get some charges dropped? i still have 4 charges!?? you would think the lawyer would try to drop some charges? i mean, what did i pay him for???

i could of kept that money!?? can he at least call me back!???
i would at least like to have some of the stupid charges dropped!??!

damnet i dont even have the paperwork in my purse!?? i must of taken it out. i NEED some of the charges dropped, i cant afford to pay for the unnecessary fines!??! i dont understand what or how this lawyer is helping me!?? i have no clue what is going on now? the last court date we didnt even plead in front of a judge!?? he made it seem like we were going too? he said one of three judges!??! 

he needs to call me back! 

i wish i didnt have all these things to worry about. i wish i had a job, i wish i can take labor day wknds in stride, and have a picnic tomorrow, and enjoy myself.

i wish i had ppl that really care about me.

a life...i wish i had a good running car...i wish i had a job, money, my own place, a good man in my life, good friends, i dont know!??

i wish i was at that point that most 36 year olds are at. will i ever get there????

i need to move on...but it is so hard too!

i want to do something outdoors, but then again, i need to work on getting a job! i need balance!!!

i wanted to do another post on the orange is the new black and how they almost made a nod towards the Last Supper, and how there is a Judas, and now Red is like Jesus...(in the one post it states how it seem like Piper took on the role of Jesus, but it seems like they are doing that with Red now. there was a scene where she broke bread, so to speak, by having a dinner and inviting her 'disciples', that she needs to manipulate in order to obtain power...(maybe this is to subconsciously embed into ppls minds that Red is Christ-like, but her too, manipulative, so that ppl will think Jesus Christ was also manipulative...but the thing is, he is NOT! take pets for instance. they love you and ppl say pets dont have a soul? marble is so loveable, she is so happy when i am around, affectionate. she loves me, unconditionally. 

i now understand movies with aliens, movies like that 'under the skin' i was watching with scarlett johannsen (see, sometimes i want to have a girl friend, real girl friends. i can say this stuff and explain it to guys, but often times they arent really truly on my wavelength, and will just let me talk, without adding any input. i think females are able to understand and correspond on the same wavelength sometime, but most dont...its weird

see, these alien movies, they often times....try to relate to humans, the aliens do..but since they do not understand human emotions, they are devoid (remember that mtv commercial where it was so hard to open that cd and it used the word devoid lol)...of it, so they can try but, like demons, they are only finding ways to use humans. they can try to entice us, lure us...make us feel special or chosen, but they are just manipulating us. see, animals do not try to manipulate us, they just love us, unconditionally. all they expect is if we take care of them, feed them. in no way i am comparing the power of majestic regality of the Lord Christ our God to animals, in no way, but he loves us, unconditionally, he is unlike a demonic alien, trying to figure us out, no, Our Lord Christ our GOD, UNDERSTANDS US! all he expects is for us to FEED ourselves, with the Scripture, living to serve Him...(serve Him? some may say? we are our OWN gods! we do not have to serve anyone!) no, but only GOD can reward us with the kingdoms of Heaven! Do not be deceived...(i cant think of any Bible verses..sorry)

see, the devil wants, and can, deceive us. just like they used the 'voluptous Scarlett Johanssen' disguised as an alien, (they used that term to describe it on the back of the dvd)...i read that she actually asked real men in London about their families, where they live etc..she was "improvising' in that movie...but i yet to wonder if, she was in one of her demon alters...they used a voluptuos scarlett johanseen to intrigue men, their lust..their DESIRE...DECEPTION, in the movie tho, she felt compassion, for a man that was helping her...so they want to make it seem like these aliens/demons are capable of 'loving' us humans...see, the alien/demons merely do not UNDERSTAND us...but!!!! they CAN! (no they cant, deception on 'hollywoods' part. in the movie she left a baby abandoned at a rocky beach. that baby was really scared tho, as they really did film that scene!??! dont you think the demon alien would of felt compassion towards the baby? no it just left the baby, sacrificed the baby (satanists sacrifice babies all the time)...

in the movie, she almost felt love for a real human man. but she was not a REAL BOY, she was not a real woman! capable of understanding human emotions. that movie i think, was another movie left in the catacylsms of sci fi lovers lost fantasy...can aliens love humans? human men? i was reading the reviews and most were men who just like that movie!??! why tho?? because they were DECEIVED by satans tricks!

God does love us, unconditionally. i mean, think of how your dog or cat loves you! they arent trying to 'understand' you. no they are NOT humans, but they still show love and affection towards you. they still protect you, they still guard you. unconditional love is capable! GODS love is unconditional!

brb


tummy aches

it is, Lori

oh yeah i think i forgot...also, i noticed a family guy episode..see i was chatting w. jay on fb, and i was like, 'hey swim, do something than! i mean i know you are watching, but help me out!??! will ya!??' (like have my 5 hour energy submission win?? hmm? hmm??)

so the episode came on. i noticed fondue, actually jay and i went out to the fondue place a while back, but it wasnt that significant bcuz it was a ways ago, he was like, 'oh they are going way back' or whatever im like, no!??! thats not it......

he doesnt get it sometimes but um...im just like, 'wait for it'...right? oh not to mention that im a useless worthless excuse of a human being but my parents kept my sister and i my mother KEPT us! she never had abortion! she chose to keep us!!!!!

so i would NEVER DISRESPECT HER OR MY DAD FOR KEEPING ME!!! AND YES ABORTION IS A HARD THING! IMAGINE THE LIFE THAT YOU DECIDED TO TAKE!??

I WILL NEVER CALL MYSELF A WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT!! EVER OK???

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

even tho yes i feel that way and yes i do feel worthless yes i do feel like a peice of shit YES I DO YES I DO OK!??! BECAUSE I AM!!

wow!??! fuck you tho!!

it said something about tank girl...by the way, i will NEVER sell my soul........i dont mind having a simple little life whatever i mean, i dont need enhancements ala Limitless style to fancy up or 'powder up' dust up...my writing! i have people who are editors who can help plus if i am not around loud snoring and have a quiet spot i can write pretty well...

so tank girl......he goes, the actress who played tank girl

"Lori Petty"

so later, after a few minutes, chris suddenly goes, "it is Lori Petty"

so the msg was this...

Swim, help me! make my 5 hour energy win!!??! come on! you can do that!!??

their answer,

"It is, Lori...oh and uh...dont be so negative!"
because here is the definition of the word petty

adjective, pettier, pettiest.

1.

of little or no importance or consequence:

petty grievances.

2.

of lesser or secondary importance, merit, etc.; minor:

petty considerations.

3.

having or showing narrow ideas, interests, etc.:

petty minds.

4.

mean or ungenerous in small or trifling things:

a petty person.

5.

showing or caused by meanness of spirit:

a petty revenge.

6. of secondary rank, especially in relation to others of the same class or kind:

i am negative tho..((oh also they are being petty see 4. mean or ungenerous MEAN!! )).because...i feel like i am never going to get anywhere, and that i am just been run around like this is a game. i feel like all i can think of is being negative, and then being hopeful, but then being stuck in this awful world of manipulative types like the two from orange is the new black, cept red is the one who was bringing in contraband that wasnt bad, (makeup, deodorant, pantyhose, odds and ends)..other one is bringing in tobacco and...worse...HORSE!!

im on that episode next....

so its all deceipt, deception. even tho some of the contraband, aint all that bad..you see...the RED....

the BLACK ..hmm...red and black work together..

red and black...are those masonic colors? my friend suggested decoding season 2 of this show...hope she does!! 

http://enjoyingthejourney.blogspot.com/2010/11/occultmasonic-redblackwhite-color.html

hmm all i can see is it all works together...from the same knitwork...network....network hmm.. 

adult swim? net..internet...idk i guess im gonna go to sleep...


i thought about it, seems like i was praying to adult swim or whoever, by asking them to help my 5 hour energy win!??!

black and red....enhancements at that...

oh wait theres more!! V!!



V means something too, V for Vendetta. V..symbolic!!

Red and Vee, from OITNB

she takes up 'gardening' hmm garden...tree of life, forbidden fruit, apple, temptations...red seems like the nicer one, but she plays on her peeps too, so that she can obtain power...

vee has always been manipulative, in the beginning planting (plant, seed, garden) the idea of bringing in contraband, ((first via/V)) NEPTUNE produce neptune sea, trident..etc
vee is black,..dark..red (that is her nickname) fiery...you know they represent satan right?? hmm..
tempting with candy at first, then moving on...
i am going to leave it at that, for now...but i read something very interesting tonight...i may link it well see!???!


i also noticed this episode there was a wedding and a funeral..LIFE and DEATH...

hmm........ 

ok so.....yes, see i google V... 

i will add links but also i will copy and paste

LINK!!
http://www.whale.to/b/v_s.html

 
"The "v sign" has a colorful history. "V" is the Roman sign for the number five and Adam Weishaupt used it in the Illuminati to symbolise the "Law of Fives,'' but there's more. In the Cabala:
"the meaning for the Hebrew letter for V (Van) is 'Nail.' Now, 'The Nail' is one of the secret titles of Satan within the Brotherhood of Satanism. Satan is letting us know that this is one of his favourite signs. Why else does he like the PENTA-gram (Penta = five!) and the FIVE-fold salute used in Masonry and Witchcraft?''
Furthermore: "The Leftists, radicals, and Satanists who have popularised that sign...know its ancient significance very well. In fact, that 'V' sign is now used extensively by such Communist organizations as the Young Socialist Alliance, Vets for Peace in Vietnam, and the Students for a Democratic Society." 
v is VAV in hebrew with the number 6 given to it
6 the number of sin

pizza

i am boiling with all kinds of ideas i want to write about, however, i need peace of mind to actually bring words flowingly to keypad. firstly, however, i feel that i should sort of write, for my benefit if anything, the kind of synchronicities or what not...i guess that i experienced as of yesterday. so, i didnt do much. i really am not drinking..so my plans were not trying to figure out how to drink..but of course, my plans also werent about hearing mike SNORE so loudly!! distracting me!! (oh go ahead and copy and paste this so that moss can file  this away in his mike complaint files)...

so i went to mikes, cuz i wasnt sure what else to do ya know!?? i dont really hang out with anyone, but it doesnt matter i guess, oh i need to get a job or something.  i cant exist this way anymore..really. i dont want anyone concerned about me, but the truth is, it gets lonely, but i would rather be alone and squirrel away...idk

so anyways, mike doesnt have enough money to really go out, so he said he would order a pizza. i did just have pizza a few days prior, when i visited kim and my aunt and uncle and avi and the new baby...but that was ok whatever. pizza wasnt even good...blegh. too hot and the cheese was dripping off, and the sauce was that kind of sauce that clumps up and brings about tummy aches. i like a good pizza when its been sitting out for a while, i dont like fresh from the oven piping (PIper) hot pizza, i like when the cheese doesnt slide off, i like a bit of orange grease, i like when you can neatly fold the pizza without cheese or sauce dripping out, i like when the bottom is dusted with pizza dough dust and a bit of char from the pizza oven...

so...then, we went back we rented two movies...one was a scarlett johanssen movie that mike picked out. i kind of wanted to watch it too, but mike likes to tease me with scarlett johanssen. i explained to him that the more he watches her movies, the more familiarized his alpha male easily persuaded mind will be apt to feel as if he can see her being someone, with her cute quirks and all, as someone that um.........hmm.......idk, someone he just starts feeling more and more comfy with mizz scarlett.....mizz scarlett, tara needs some fixin uppin here!!??!

like, mike will see her more and more, her confused look since most of her roles are of her not even being a human, but that of a confused lost, humanoid of sorts...struggling to comprehend how it is to feel human emotions...of course, scarlett johansen in real life just does what she is told....so she relates..i understand womens rights, but you know...its a touchy subject

btw all i want is my own place!! so i can freely type up blogs instead of hearing his snores that is maing me nervous because the more i try to think about something witty to write, to hear a loud sleep apnea snore.

ozUGHH i just saw it highlight and i hit a button and it froze before it deleted the paragraph i just wrote.........i said oh yeah i am straying from the subject...lets get back to the subject shall we so yes scarlett johanssen (this computer is annoying deleting paragraphs for me!? what buttons do that anyways?) the movie we got was under the skin with scarlett johansse, sort of a sci-fi (whispers stupid) movie boring!!?!?! dumb im gonna read reviews for it to see other ppls interpretations and what not...

well mike of course started falling asleep so i stayed up to watch orange is the new black. i didnt want to stay up too late bcuz next day was my cousin kevin and his wifes baby ryann's 1st bday but i have been getting wicked coughs, the kind where you cough so much it is embarrassing and you almost have to throw up and it seems to act up when you are around ppl and your face turns super red and its just awful. when we went to the pizza place i had to go to the bathroom cuz i started coughing like that...oh yah we brought home the leftover pizza

so when we got back i had drank some nyquil nighttime that my parents dropped off with some nasal spray since my nose was clogged (mike made me sick because he coughs all over the place) well after the movie i just kind of fell asleep, (well because he was sleeping too), and i was feeling tired, but then i woke up and wanted to watch some shows like orange is the new black. one of the episodes ended, so i went to check my fb from my cell phone, and i saw a post real quick from the aqua teen page, it said, 'get outta' so at that point it made me subliminally think, 'get outta my head, and into my car' right? (remember, night before i had those synchs??? with the picture i had with the sunglasses pulled down like i saw a hot peice of ass, and i went oooHHH!!! hey YOU! ' then, "hey me!?" 

 yeah YOU!!! get out my head!! get outta my head, and into my car! and then later family guy played that episode, so yeah naturally...um...i thought of that...it says get outta my way you ORANGE whore...so orange, i was watching orange is the new black!??! whore!???! really f* you cup!!

well some guy was like 'coincedence' (yah really) then he posted a pic of an ORANGE....CAR!! "get out of my head, and into my car!" ((i screencapped it))

so 

so idk, is it a coincedence?? so i was like WTH and commented something like this cough syrup is messin with my head...

then i put on another episode of OITNB, and it was an episode called, 'at least you have a pizza', and you have a pizza or something like that....well i was watching, and the KP (kitchen) KP is how we call it in basic training...she gave the guard a cookie shaped like a penis (it was a valentines day one), and the guard gobbled the dick all fast for some reason..so then..it stopped netflix did, and the title came up, 'and you have a pizza'..so i was like, 'dick? and i have a pizza?" and i thought about it..'you have a dick, A DICK A DICKHEAD/DOUCHEBAG OGRE!! and hey at least i have a pizza too (there was pizza left over in the fridge)

i noticed something weird too the one girl used the term 'wicked' to describe something, and i had posted using that term i said i have a wicked cough...just thought that was weird...

mike is now telling me to go to sleep he woke up and HE IS NOW ON THE COUCH SO THAT MEANS HIS SNORES ARE EVEN CLOSER TO ME!??! than he is telling me to go to sleep at 2 o clock. id rather sleep on the couch then on the bed tho...

that was last night tho. i wanted to write about tonight but his snores are just too close...i cant even freaking think now!!

oh fine!! i woke up late, and realized i was supposed to be ready for the party, but i was sick and i knew if i was around people i would start engaging in coughing spells because that is just how it works..and babies were there so i didnt want to be all coughing around...

oh im going to contine the rest of the story tomorrow, (not that it is an exciting story tho)

i didnt drink tonight tho. i didnt drink last night either. i actually have not drank for the past month!! (actually yes i drank one night...and felt like shit the next day)..also yes, i had two small beers at the old man bar the other day...

but one time out of a month!?? thats pretty good i think!?? see, i dont mind not drinking! just wish i had someone to chill and watch movies or shows with doesnt start snoring or making comments at the actresses and stuff...

i hang out with jay sometimes but he is always busy with his daughter too...and i usually want to drink when i hang out with him..i dont know why? i used to live at mikes so its like my place but not realy this place is too dark and dull i just like then i wouldnt mind having company but yeah, blah..il save my rants for tomorrow
 

not syncs, winks!

i dont know, i kind of want to blog about the weird synchs, but i also wanted to blog other stuff...from yesterday. i forget now. i was feeling very depressed. i think because i was reading about how thyroid problems will affect your pregnancy, and if your thyroid is not good you may suffer a miscarriage. my dad mentioned they asked my mom if she wanted an abortion, because of her thyroid, and she said no way! i almost felt like crying. at first i thought it was with me, and i felt like i could of not even been born! it put things into perspective. even now, its powerful. i am constantly ridden with remorse about the abortion i had, at 19. i would of had a teenager now! oh it wasnt me they said that to my mom it was my sister. i am so happy that my mother didnt get an abortion, or there would be no lisa. abortion is a very tough thing. when they say it is something a woman can do and forget about, well, maybe so, but it still stays in the psyche. i mean, it still affects women in some degree. i mean, i wish to God....sigh...enough about this sad subject..

oh! eyeliner! see, i knew it! as i was scrolling down my fb, and i saw the eyeliner posts, i heard eyeliner, now 'get out of my head get out of my head' (on family guy)

um, so i guess........i will say the synchs...

not all of them of course!! but just the basics..then i need to go to sleep, or something

so um, i kind of wanted to do a weird nj kind of tour, but it was getting late and i couldnt find a cool place to explore, (rhymed!) um...so you know, jay was free so he came over

oh i forgot to add music to the beginning of the video. i should try to go to sleep. anyways, so we went on a lil small tour of hope nj and belvidere...i was being kind of bitchy i see..ahh i get that way!!!??

i had taken some pics, i can show them tomorrow...but i pulled my sunglasses down like i was checking someone out..like ooh, who are you?

like, 'hey you?' 
'who me?'
yes you!'

and then dub that song...'get out of my mind, and into my car!"

but anyways, later that night, family guy played an episode where they were at a dance, and that song played!!!

so it made me feel special!

a few other nods and stuff...

and no they aint 'synchs' they are winks!

anyways i better go to sleep...as is my life

jim carrey scarf

oh in the jim carrey and jeff daniels on vmas when he mentions the scarf, jim carrey said, 'its killing me' and proceeds to act like robin williams...

maybe its the joker spirit btw jim carrey played the joker

hmm...his arms and hand gestures are on almost like an X..im watching something about jim carrey taking martin scorseses place but i find it kind of...what proof does the person have? interesting

um.......i dont know?!? oh yeah hello kitty this article represnet GIRL BETA KITTEN CAT ALTER

so they say that hello kitty is not a cat hello kitty is a girl this article first off the pic is creepy!

its like the human versions then the beta cat versions...

then what they say in the last paragraph:

http://mic.com/articles/97502/hello-kitty-isn-t-a-cat-apparently?utm_source=policymicFB&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social

Hello Kitty may be a little girl, she clearly isn't a human one. She never ages, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't even have a mouth (silence programming) . Whatever Hello Kitty happens to be, I really hope it's satisfied with an annual blood sacrifice of billions in sales.

odd! MTV is being more blatant in their agreeing that yes mtv is illuminati, but in that way that is now a pop culture joke...i might make a blog about that. i didnt make the ice um...bucket challenge either...ahh maybe later

plus a personal blog i guess

fishing for compliments

my friend...well, she is constantly fishing for compliments. idk, it just...annoys me so much!! so i am going to vent here!! i will eventually make a new blog, the creative writing one...just...ugh need to complain! my sister got drunk a few times, and she kept accusing me of wanting attention because i post a few selfies from time to time, and she always post snide links and jokes about selfies. she later told me she is afraid she is going to lose her jaw, so she finds 'vanity' to be selfish, but only if i do it! anyone else isn't selfish or attention seeking, just me!??! first off, she is not going to lose her jaw, like the ghost lady in beetlejuice did...and secondly, so what if i post selfies!? its not like i do it all the time, and its never those cleavage shots nor is it ever skinny "itg' gaps and tiny waist (well, because i dont have neither)...its just selfies of me if i am wearing makeup. in fact, i came up with a hashtag called selfie sober saturday. tons of my problems came from drinking, so i need to become sober and focus on making better decisions for myself. i say selfie to show how happy i am that i am not drinking, nor do i need drinking to make me feel happy. so why not smile at the sober life?? frankly, my sister needs to get sober! she also told me i giggle when weirdos post innapropriate comments um NO THE HELL NAW!! I TELL THEM STRAIGHT UP DO NOT POST INNAPROPRIATE COMMENTS! I CANT STAND WHEN A GUY IS RUDE, OR HAS THE AUDACITY TO SEND ME A DICK PIC (which never happens! because i dont give the impression that i want one! i would unfriend and block someone IF THEY EVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! and thats the damn truth! ignorant rude assholes!!!

f the haters!! 

 well, my friend has so many dick pics! i would be so offended if guys just found it fun to send me dick pics, but hey, she likes it! rather, i think she fools herself into thinking she does. its a way for her to get attention i suppose. sure, a girl can collect dick pics as much as guys try and ask girls for boob and p*ss* shots etc, (and guys do! they will ask anyone! it doesnt mean you are super hot..geez!) no girl wants a variety of different mushroom looking dick pics, balls, bleh seriously!??! 

she constantly posts pics of herself, , bikini, (and shes a bigger girl, i mean, good for her but still) HEY im not the only one thinking shes fishing! if a bigger girl would be posting bikinis it wouldnt be like 'you go girl!" "show off your bod you hot mama"' it would be more like, rolling eyes, uh that girl is trying to show off! and all the guys would be like, "your fine!" or worse statements! nasty rude crude statements! i mean, if you feel proud of your body, then so the f what? show off!

but my friend, is so insecure that she will post a boop boop be doop pic so she can get a bunch of 'hawt' vrOOm VROOM cartoon like replies vroom vroom boom boom! lemme see dat dupe doom!

its like, girl!!! chill, cuz ppl get annoyed when ya always posting selfies! but then again, so the fuck what!! post what you want!! who cares if you piss ppl off or annoy ppl!! 

boop boop be doop! HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!

hand on cheek gesture robin williams

so....billy crystal was honoring robin williams in a tribute at the emmy awards last night. the night before, i noticed another aging funnyman, jim carrey, and dumb and dumber costar playing around with scarves. i am surprised they didnt outright do a hanging/choking game with the scarf, because that is what one thinks of when scarves are involved. here are the tributes, that billy crystal did. take note of the scarf mork and mindy scene they show...(robin williams hung inside supposedly), at 3:30 seconds...below video

now, here is the video link to jim carrey and jeff daniels : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc2_D2G0_aU

now......lets see lets see....

take note of the pic of robin williams holding his hand up to his eye. this gesture means something, gesture on the cheek. strangely, there is a photo of billy crystal doing the exact same thing. here is what this gesture means (hand on cheek)



As Marrs himself points out on pgs. 296-297 of Codex Magica:



“A number of dictionaries of symbols state that the hand placed on the neck signifies sacrifice. Now, sacrifice can have at least two meanings --- one, the continuing threat of the penalties to be applied to punish those adepts and initiates who so impertinently reveal the secrets of the Order; and two, the willingness of the individual performing the sign to sacrifice himself for the good of the Order, or for the good of the cause or Great Work of the Illuminati.”

some more pics to take note of:

monarch butterfly

ariana not so grande

i just want to share my thoughts on the vma mkd models this year. yes, i did watch...and it was the most boring vmas ever! of course, i thought last years was dull as heck too, till i seen how everyone was making such a big deal about miley's performance. this year was just a bunch of body types, singing songs we never heard of. what body types? oh, nicki minaj and her big fake booty, and not to mention when she held her dress, that was supposedly unzippered together. i wasn't sure what was going on there, i thought she was going to rip it open, exposing some sort of strange spider-like thongette outfit ala miley did last year, with the cheese uncooked poultry get-up she had underneath all the mousey cheese....i have no clue!?? it looked like nicki was holding her belly as if she was venus de milo, or maybe she was pregnant, holding tightly her pregnant belly with matronly care..but nope, it was planned that way? of course, the venus demilo statue is also missing some arms, so that means fractured, broken mind..mind controlled...

so..im not sure if nicki was invoking venus somehow?? maybe even venus and serena WILLIAMS, who are both known for their oh my god becky big butts...(nickis new song is 'anaconda' which samples from sir mix alot baby got back)

the other bodies of the night were teeny tiny, malnourished ariana grande, who aint grand at all, opposite of, also icky izalea...and her weird butt...

she has a weird dumpy butt...anyways...fake bodies that have somehow been manipulated.

during the vmas, the snl guy made a joke about ariana grande being legal. if you click the link, you will see the video she does with weird butt icky azalea, and ariana looks so tiny and malnourished, its not hot. i think she was given something to keep her from growing...and so that ppl would embrace pedophilia more because they will confuse someone they market us to find 'hot'...oh btw, when will arianas transformation from good girl to bad girl take place? because then she will be dubbed all sexy, like hannah montana and rihanna, all them went through this transformation. we will see skinny little ariana grande go through the bad girl transformation, with her little body, and ppl will be brainwashed to be confused that her little body is hot, but her body is that of a  childs!

watch this video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS1g8G_njx8

i watched it once shes just so skinny and tiny and malnourished!!

dancing around it looks like her bones are gonna snap!

she def got plastic surgery too to look more like a disney princess, look at her as a child and now

she got a nose job or something, and i think they gave her stuff to keep her small like that...

the vmas were very boring tho...taylor swift and beyonce...blah...i dont think any men even played? must be year of the feminine...

but um.....idk......just thoughts i had. i know, im lame to of even watched the vmas!??!?

i watched the emmys too...shrug

MEH

Ok, so, I go from thinking I am going to be a mother, and raise my child, to not. It is tough. It is very hard to deal with. I wanted to keep the little baby safe, but for some reason it didn't hold on. This was my baby!! My child! I just had a miscarriage. So, with that said, I do not need my friend telling me they wrote me an email. No! I do not want to read an email on how long you were crying because you think it is such a mistake for me to raise a child! I do not need to be told what to do with MY BODY! for someone who is so liberal, then he should RESPECT womens rights and some women want to keep their baby and raise them. he sent me links to some article about MARRIED people who make a decent shared income, and even them struggle with selfish depression on how hard it is for them and how they wish they didnt have kids. are you kidding me!?? i am not a statistic! i am not going to base anything off of something i read in a magazine. so they tell you, your taxes are paying for welfare!?? oh knock it off!!

i know alot of mothers who are fine and happy raising their kids and they are able to do it! i would of been a great mom, i would of done it! because i would have no other choice. shannan doesnt have alot of money but she is raising two kids and with another one on the way. i think well, you know...

yes i hope i can get married. yeah! i do want to get married. i want to have children.

i just asked him to stop it with the links, stop it with the advice i never asked for. how dare he make me feel that way!?? i am so sad that i lost my baby, but i was willing and planning on raising my baby and being nothing but a great mother as i could be.

and what does he want? me to go out there? what do i do when i am out there? i wander around the streets of hollywood, feeling completely lost and alone...i mean, im over the bar scene, really. its not fun to go to bars, only to be mocked and street theatered by comedy troupes and the like. i mean, its just a completely satanic feeling...idk...

going out to hipster bars....spending money on drinks, not really meeting anyone of interest....ehhh

yeah its cool and fun to go to red carpet parties, take pics with the celebs, but what comes out of it? no one is going to out right come out and tell me, "yes! we watch you! we know you are poison! join us JOIN US!!" all that is gonna happen is more and more subliminal hidden msgs, but i will never know, i will never find out the truth! i will continue to feel like an awkward poor girl. and do i want to sell my soul, like kai did? he went on to write cupcake girl. AW HAIL NAW!!!

I AINT GUN SAIL MY SAUL SOUL..SAYUL


SOIL BRIM AND TOIL (OOPS SOUND LIKE A WITCHES CHANT)

naw thanks tho, really!!????! HOW ODD ROBOT CHICKEN JUST CAME ON ITS DARK VADER HE JUST SAID WED BE HONORED IF YOU CAN JOIN US!!

Ha didnt i just say!! well robot chicken adult swim people, please!!! just answer my questions! i mean, come on!??! 

hmm........it just said wed be honored if you can join us...

i was gonna say how eddy and mindy were 

at the vmas taking pics with miley cyrus and all, but you know, so what? it looks kind of ridiculous after a while. its like, how many famous ppl and events you are gonna get into but what does it even matter? are you anyone important? see, i could go to parties this and that take pics with celebs but what does it even matter. no one is gonna just be like, 'JOIN US! JOIN US! WE WILL TELL YOU THE SECRETS'


EDIT just saw this on adult swim a bump...license plates which say CIA-H8ER N1BLVSME theyputa chip in my head

and something else...WEKNOWEVERYTHING

WHAAA OK WELL......I AINT A CIA HATER BUT UM..DONT BE PUTTIN NO CHIPS IN MY HEAD!

so mike and i went to dorney park today. we got there early...it was fun day, but draining. went on a bunch of rides. im sleepy now

but yeah, i mean, eddy and mindy go to all these events (emmys tomorrow) but so what!??!


i could be out there, posting all over facebook pics of me and celebs sometimes it feels like im in a celebrity dorney park, an amusement parkourage where i can run from one famous person to the next!! asking for a pic!!! then my audacity will grow, my courage, nah jk what else can you ask for other than a picture? sex!??! HAHA JK

i dont know ewwwwwwwwwwww 

anyways....

cold ice bucket

this is strange, lets see...where can i start? oh, i will just shucks, write about group...and then the synchs!???

so, i was tired after court...i mean, court was only a little less than an hour and i didnt even speak with a judge? i met my lawyers associate, and basically she told me i am on the list for ASP (alternative sentencing program), which will be 7 days incarceration, with work release if i have a job, also 23 days house arrest (anklet bracelet hay!), and the worst of it all...5 years probation....see, i dont/wont mind the 7 days in jail...i wont even mind the house arrest, the worst is probation...and 5 years at that??? ill be in my 40s by the time i have my freedom back!? wtf!??! i dont want to be stuck here without a license id rather just...idk...

also....not being able to drive is going to hurt me too.

anyways, i was tired after court so i drank more than half the shot of grape 5 hour energy so that i can waken up for my last class.

it was just me, lori, dave, and the other guy (new guy) well, he was in our class last 4 days i think...

i saw brian at the court but he wasnt at class i guess he did the day class. so, it was ok, but lori, she means well, but she also interrupts ppl, she never let ppl finish their stories or statements without changing it into her perspective or opinion or story...after a while it just...gets so annoying! shes nice tho i mean, she texted me a few times. she means well, but the only thing is, she would not give other ppl a chance to talk!??! like, if someone new were saying something, well, i would see her fiddle with her phone and hope to goodness she wouldnt drop it to automatically spurt her voice without allowing me to ask questions pertaining to the class about probation. the new guy was talking about it so i wanted to ask him more questions but when he was done SHE started talking like a know it all and by the time she was over, my question was no longer relevant!??! she would never let ppl finish interesting stories...ugh oh well class is over...

so, i think...5 hour energy messed with me. yawn..im tired now! im just gonna write it tomorrow...

ehh....i should just finish it...

so lately i have been getting these damn pop up ads, by adchoice. i never asked for them, but they would appear anywhere, id hear an ad for kia and i would be like wtf??? on wiki pages, on my own blog page, anywhere and at any given time...they would just appear!???

so i got fed up and searched to delete it. sure , i had tabs up, tabs to links i was intending to look at, (by now lost and forgotten)...so i googled how to get rid of adchoice. it proceeded to tell me (for firefox, which i use), to go the three lines in the upper right corner and go to help. for the heck of me (??) whatever, i could not find help!?? so i would google it finally i found out it was the ? mark...right? anyways, so i had to go to troubleshoot reset firefox. seems simple enough. well i did this and then i wanted to bring firefox back up. my avast also told me threat was detected so it rescanned. well when i tried to bring up firefox it was telling me  i

 could not ...i forget the words it used yawn

so i tried to go through explorer or chrome to download firefox and chrome kept saying i would have to shut off lan settings so i followed the instructions after using my phone to figure out how to bring up tools or something...in chrome...AHH so stressful plus tv was out due to weather (we got a flash flood warning)

yawn! im tired! its 230 am...finally i did all that and downloaded firefox, only for it to tell me that proxy wont open?? 

so i gave up and continued to use chrome. i hit some keys and i noticed my fb turned BLUE!??! so i was all posting about why is it blue along with pics and what not...no one responded, all was silent...and i was like, 'am i in some sort of parelllel universe is this for real?" then my sychroncity friend posted a post about hashtag isthisreallife, like david says in david the dentist  and i made a reference to the dentist too because i said, 'is this real life' and she posted a link about skrillex paris hilton, and someone else doing the ice bucket challenge...i also posted, 'did i do the ice bucket challenge and now i am in some sort of fb parelell universe?

i was posting tho, 'is this real life?'

is that why my fb is BLUE because it did the ice bucket challenge?? (more about that later but im way too tired to go into the chanting/invocation/spells aspects of this new craze)...

i also heard the word REEL and then i heard real bullshit at the same time i was reading real...i forget!? i sound like a nutjob i know!??!?

anyways then i saw a post for a fox...

oh yeah a friend posted about jessie, who i know from the miss universe aids awareness tour in india...see??

http://nypost.com/2014/08/20/dating-naked-cast-member-sues-after-crotch-blur-fail/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPFacebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow


shes on that show naked dating or whatever...american dad played an episode they were in INDIA

i think they intentionally unblurred her crotch otherwise id of never known she was on that show, i dont really watch that show??? idk

to get my attention!?? then i saw a post to a cute fox so i clicked on it...here it is

http://abcnews.go.com/International/fox-friendly-released-wild/story?id=25074832

oh at that point, i saw the blue sides of my facebook turn back to normal, before it was blue...like it was cold...then it turned back to normal??? like they were trying to get my attention!??!

but that fox looked cute so i clicked on it, its about a fox...that cant escape?? its stuck, like my fox!??! my firefox!??! it cant escape now its stuck, all my internet memories, erased!??!

i just felt all kinds of nutty HA!!?? oh yeah in group, when lori started talking, i was feeling myself get all like, heart beating fast, that five hour energy didnt help. that is the commercial that followed me around the tv that one night i was hypnotized, and the commercial all their faces melted and turned into evil upturned grins, like the black hole sun video...

it was weird...

but yeah...idk what happened!?? i keep hearing the word naked on this new show tho...

im probably forgetting things now...for-get-TING TINGS


darnnnnnnnnnnnn 

evil grin

stuff and chrome

wtf is this? someone shared this page...it looks like a looksie lookbook at who the new MK models are...i mean, its like, these are NOT real ppl, its ppl that have been compartmentalized to be neatly packaged as say, the new fashion website mogul, the new model, the new...whatever it is they are!? who ARE THESE PPL!??! how did they just 'break into' that industry?

before, no one really ever questioned where these perfectly packaged ppl came from, we just assumed they knew the right ppl...but if we really thought about it, the story just wont seem right!??

they were found...in a shopping mall? i guess in LA that...can happen, but for real?

i mean, i know jessie niezewitz, who i guess is on the new vh1 show, naked dating. apparenly they showed her crotchal on tv when it should of been blurred out...now shes gonna sue. someone shared it on facebook...i saw her i was like, that looks like jessie!?? i was on the miss india aids awareness tour with her...

i was going to link it here but firefox had a bunch of rilly annoying ads on it so i restarted firefox now its telling me i lost firefox...so now all my tabs and bookmarks are gone!?? what a lost feeling, like my internet memory is gone and i am starting from scratch. its like when one day you go from thinking you are going to be a mother to the next day having your uterus just...void the life growing inside of you...

well, the latter is worse...its tough. my court date was today. i dont want to think about it. in fact, tonight, i wont. im just glad class is over...

yeah so, click this link: https://galoremag.com/azealia-banks-interview/

who are all those weird people? its like, when you go to a fancy party in manhatten and you just see...these people...with their...idk...their um...brands or labels..or whatever it is that they do!??? and who are you? who am i amongst these ppl (well, im not amongst them but you know what i mean..)

i mean, according to statistics, i should just of been married, good job, 2 kids...mom....i dont even know anymore!?? i cant even travel!??!

im gonna have 5 years probation!??! what the fuck is probation!??! i cant have my freedom? i have to now be babysitted!??! i cant leave this state!??!

why would i want to stick around NJ if i cant drive!? id rather move out to california and try my luck out there, moss keeps telling me he can 'get me a job in entertainment'


i thought i was going to be a mother!! and now...now i dont know!?? and i lost all my internet memory...fuck fuck FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i should feel happy but i dont!?? i feel like, im gonna explode, soon. right now i am so nuetral but it will come. the tension the stress...it will come. i havent expressed myself in a while

i just want freedom. i want to be in control of my life. funny, i thought by me leaving mike i was taking control....i was saving money, working. i didnt care about going out to lame bethlehem.

now it seems i am going to be stuck here forever. my life has been an eternal limbo. i just cant take this anymore. this limbo.

im chatting so i cant just get into what i want to say...my therapy...and the tv is so loud and distracting...

i spent all this time trying to get back online!!!

i feel like im in an internet parellel universe now. facebook is now blue...my internet memory is erased...

i just...im confused!??

i guess i will talk about last group meeting tomorrow!!!

little rap and reason bout the ice bucket challenge (sort of!???)

• this falls hand in hand with my master plan, cleansing my soul for my mind and my stand...dont need no ice water for my brain dont need ice water to make it rain...

   gettin all bent out of shape for ppl unlike yourselves, this world isnt just serious sometimes there is fairys, mermaids and elves...
• 
  

  looking outside the box, sure brings me lots of mocks...but who cares cuz hey it also brings points to my stocks

   so chill like the ice water challenge wants you to do...and let me be me and you be you!

   blah blah blah illuminati argue...ha ha ha ha jokes on YOU!!!!
• Lori Brown magic rocks be yummy up there with some pop rocks in my tummy id like some swedish fish alongside bears of gummi

  n me chinese me like coke me put POISON in your coke!
• 3 minutes ago · Like