stuff and chrome

wtf is this? someone shared this page...it looks like a looksie lookbook at who the new MK models are...i mean, its like, these are NOT real ppl, its ppl that have been compartmentalized to be neatly packaged as say, the new fashion website mogul, the new model, the new...whatever it is they are!? who ARE THESE PPL!??! how did they just 'break into' that industry?

before, no one really ever questioned where these perfectly packaged ppl came from, we just assumed they knew the right ppl...but if we really thought about it, the story just wont seem right!??

they were found...in a shopping mall? i guess in LA that...can happen, but for real?

i mean, i know jessie niezewitz, who i guess is on the new vh1 show, naked dating. apparenly they showed her crotchal on tv when it should of been blurred out...now shes gonna sue. someone shared it on facebook...i saw her i was like, that looks like jessie!?? i was on the miss india aids awareness tour with her...

i was going to link it here but firefox had a bunch of rilly annoying ads on it so i restarted firefox now its telling me i lost firefox...so now all my tabs and bookmarks are gone!?? what a lost feeling, like my internet memory is gone and i am starting from scratch. its like when one day you go from thinking you are going to be a mother to the next day having your uterus just...void the life growing inside of you...

well, the latter is worse...its tough. my court date was today. i dont want to think about it. in fact, tonight, i wont. im just glad class is over...

yeah so, click this link: https://galoremag.com/azealia-banks-interview/

who are all those weird people? its like, when you go to a fancy party in manhatten and you just see...these people...with their...idk...their um...brands or labels..or whatever it is that they do!??? and who are you? who am i amongst these ppl (well, im not amongst them but you know what i mean..)

i mean, according to statistics, i should just of been married, good job, 2 kids...mom....i dont even know anymore!?? i cant even travel!??!

im gonna have 5 years probation!??! what the fuck is probation!??! i cant have my freedom? i have to now be babysitted!??! i cant leave this state!??!

why would i want to stick around NJ if i cant drive!? id rather move out to california and try my luck out there, moss keeps telling me he can 'get me a job in entertainment'


i thought i was going to be a mother!! and now...now i dont know!?? and i lost all my internet memory...fuck fuck FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i should feel happy but i dont!?? i feel like, im gonna explode, soon. right now i am so nuetral but it will come. the tension the stress...it will come. i havent expressed myself in a while

i just want freedom. i want to be in control of my life. funny, i thought by me leaving mike i was taking control....i was saving money, working. i didnt care about going out to lame bethlehem.

now it seems i am going to be stuck here forever. my life has been an eternal limbo. i just cant take this anymore. this limbo.

im chatting so i cant just get into what i want to say...my therapy...and the tv is so loud and distracting...

i spent all this time trying to get back online!!!

i feel like im in an internet parellel universe now. facebook is now blue...my internet memory is erased...

i just...im confused!??

i guess i will talk about last group meeting tomorrow!!!