bored

I am so bored! I sat outside for a bit and I was coloring with markers on these little canvas'es, sharpies. it is so gorgeous outside.! Nothing can compare to the summery warmth of Jersey uh..summers. sigh...i really need some friends to hang out and chill with. I really want to do asmr type stuff. if i had a cool chill girl friend to do manicures and pedicures with, then yeah!?? i mean, i can always go to the uh...manicure place. i started out a profile on match.com, but i cant afford to pay 21.99 a month!? wow!??! i just want to meet someone. it is so hard to anymore!??! i mean, im not around anyone. i want someone that i am into...someone to sit outside, hang out, listen to music, ok, drink some wine...also i want to do alot of things this summer wtf? i asked mike to come over today but he is too tired from work too. we need to really just drift apart. i am trying to meet someone i can eventually get married too and have a family.

i am picky im not acting all desperate tho. like i said in the profile, i am not looking for rude, crude, boring or dull!! i hate assuming guys, i hate guys who are immature...i hate guys who are horny idiots, you know? i hate boring guys. i like sexy, confident, funny, outgoing, respectful, cute, attractive, friendly, has lots of good friends, sweet, romantic (i never really had that before)....loyal..good qualities now that i am older, im over the worried if someone is a cheater or whatever you know? and its time to grow up from getting excited over any pretty female that walks by. i mean, sigh. i want someone fun! some one adventurous. you can tell friendly eyes. i love when you can see a twinkle or a sparkle or a smile in someones eyes. i like crystal blue eyes or warm smiling brown eyes. i like someone that i just 'mesh' with...instant attraction...someone with whom i can talk about anything and not have them judge me. i just...i want a real relationship. it has been so long. i mean, i was living with mike but that has been over 2 years ago. its time to move on, you know??

i also like guys who do have a fashion sense, nothing too fancy but someone who dresses casual but doesnt look like they have no sense of style!??! man i wish i can go somewhere now. im dying here! i am so over this! i have a whole fucking month left WTF..

yeah i know i am 36, but i dont want to really date anyone that seems older. i mean lucky for me i still look very young, and i still think the same way i do when i was younger? i mean, i am wiser and all that and yes i am ready to be an adult...

what else? hmm...im starving!! i cant wait until this ends! it is so nice outside!!! i feel like there was more i wanted to say!?? hmm...

i also want a guy who knows how to cook! grill what not!?? make a good drink!??! um...someone who is entertaining as well. someone who slightly intimidates me...keep me on edge...yah!!

oh man!!! im not trying to slut it up i just want to go on dates. where are cute interesting guys!??!

sigh. yeah what else did i want to say!???! hmm...i also dont need someone who is a millionaire just someone who wants to rent a house with me...decorate, go on trips. you know!??! 

I WANT A BOYFRIEND~!!!

and a cool girl friend, you know , a girl to do things with like painting and all that girly stuff!!!!

i am dying of boredom here!!! yeah. i dont want someone to think of me as a joke either i want someone that does truly like me....

im starving!!! i cant think of what else i wanted to say!???