hey

im bored. everyday i think, this is not how i want my life to be. gone is any kind of excitement or looking forward to anything. i dont feel alive anymore. i don't feel thrilled, or whatever. now i am going to be working somewhere that i do not want to work at! i dont want to work at a food place with high school kids. i mean, its just a job for the time being i guess, but this is not what i want. and it sucks that i am not allowed to do anything really. mike wont want me to go out. i mean, all i do is stay home really. and on the weekends mike never wants to hang out with me. yeah last wknd we went to gettysburg but when we got back to the room he acted all tired and wouldnt even hang out with me. he doesnt turn me on. i dont know? i dont know what to do. im just bored! i want a good job, a good career. if i stick around here, what will ever happen to going back to LA? or going on trips. i never was someone to just stay somewhere and not do anything! ugh i cant stand this! tomorrow night im going out. seamarina wants to hang out. i want to start doing fun things! next weekend is a spiritual expo, and there are other holistic expos coming up, even the masonic witches ball on halloween. i want to investigate!!! oh well...whatever