saturday

Hey....so, nothing exciting going on here really. i am just sort of bored and sick of my life. its just not interesting or fun, it seems all i do is sit here and hardly get payed well enough. i mean, i would like to be able to go shopping perhaps, or to get some nice things for the apartment, instead of all my money toward going to bills. once i get my tax return back it should be a nice amount of money, so i can get a table for the patio and what not...and once the weather starts to get nicer, you know, i will feel better. the thing is, i dont really like where i live and mike knows this. its just too dark. i hate dark! i want to live somewhere bright, sunny, spacious and inviting. im not making enough to even begin to save so i can find a better place tho. i am just not feeling inspired, uninspired, rather....so yesterday i had to work from 4am to 12...so i went to bed at 1030 and hardly got any sleep, mike snores loudly and i keep waking up! then sometimes marble knocks my things off my dresser, or steps on the posters behind the dresser somehow!? so i went to work it was ashley and i and jim showed up later, but i was just getting annoyed at ashley you know how some people are just annoying and too serious about their jobs she kept talling me about how she worked 3rd shift at sheetz and how busy it got, like i never worked at a fast paced place before! yes i have! i like it! i strive off of fast paced paces, and places which are just so, fast paced! what happened was we had alot of girls, (cheerleading group) they all placed orders so upon ashleys decision i handed her the receipts with what they ordered and she made the food. it was so quick and i actually did forget to hand her one receipt i guess? my fault but she got all annoying about it i was like, 'calm down! gosh!!" seriously tho, calm down!!! but later she said i didnt mean to get me mad and all was well LOL! i also dropped a parfait, it landed on the ground and parfait exploded and got on the window part of the display thing, (much like the patisserie in sims actually...) fuck that patisserie! i mean, this was like the last hour, and i felt like a zombie i was operating off of 2 hours or less of sleep, on my feet non-stop (i was fine tho and friendly with the customers, brisk etc)...oh yeah and night before i worked till 8pm, which is against the law actually we need more than 8 hours per shift and i worked till 8pm and had to be back at 4...so do the math! i did feel like some sort of zombie tho even tho on the outside i (think) i looked normal, i really yeah, felt like some sort of zombie...so finally we were done, (hardly got any tips either!!) i deposited my measly check then went home layed down on the couch, but i just could not sleep! i wanted to take a nap but i just could not. i sort of did but i got a text and i was just awake. well later, mike came home we went to fridays for dinner it was very good! parmesan crusted chicken, tri-colored tortellini and mozzerella and tomato salad. also a salad wedge thing for an appetizer. so we rented a movie but the one we wanted was out, (the new one with justin timberlake??? the number?) i chose final destination 5 but when we were watching it, mike started snoring but it was funny because they were drinking captain morgans, (mikes drink), and the buddha killed the one guy mike got mad at first he said 'this is stupid' ((he never saw any of the final destinations FRANCHISE)
but then he did laugh but then he fell back asleep but if you rent that one, the ending is good i think, well, you see...pop culture reminds us of times in our life ok? movies, songs, scents....old friends whatever....like for me, i have seen all the final destination movies, (mike didnt nor did he see any of the scream movies) and lets face it, it does remind me of times in my life, for instance, scream reminds me of when the guy i liked in ft benning, his name was scott bryant (bryant at least last name)...i mean, he invited me to go see scream with him in the movies but i did not go)...but it reminds me of ft benning...i later saw that movie when i went home for exodus, in the theaters, also romeo and juliet, with claire danes...and i remember watching all of the final destination movies too with friends or ex-boyfriends whatever it was a time when i was  early18,19,andearly(sorryi  20s and just experienced life different....things felt different for me. and i wanted cantpressenteror to just rent and watch a movie with my boyfriend, right? instead he falls asleep and starts elseicannoteditcorrectlyorelseitdoes
snoring hes like an old man. im not that old gosh! i dont feel old. i am still me yes i am older and i do not feel like the same person i was ten years ago, but at the same time i dont feel like i should be falling asleep at 930 pm! and i kept trying to wake him up but he would get mad and say, "you have to understand i was up early and worked all day" i was like, 'well you have to understand that i was up since 320 and worked etc"...he was like yeah but you dont have a physical job like me...what!?? i was on my feet for 8 hours WITH NO 15 minute breaks, no 30 minute lunch breaks!! i was dealing with customers, making food, getting items from the storage room to be filled...i was working the whole timeandididnteventakeanapwhenigothomeafterwork!! i was able to stay awake to watch the movie he just didnt like it and didnt want to stay awake he has stayed awake when we have company. whatever, it just feels so boring now. life does...i mean, im off tomorrow so we are supposed to do something tonight. i just wonder, when and how did my life end up this way? when anand jon finally got arrested, (back in 2007) i felt like i was free for real, and he had a bunch of money he conned off of other people THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS IN COLD CASH IN HIS ROOM THAT I STOLE YES I DID I TOOK THOSE THOUSANDS! YEAH WE DID!!! I FELT LIKE I COULD DO ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE I FELT ON TOP OF THE WORLD I FELT I COULD ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I COULD FULFILL MY DREAMS I FELT ON TOP OF THE WORLD FANATICAL IN MY EXISTENCE I COULD WIN I COULD FINALLY BE WINNING! heck!! whatever!???! and i did do alot i moved back to LA OOH SO WHAT!???! pay homage...this and that .....but the point is, i was my own free spirit, now...what is THIS!?? WHaT? im not happy, im bored, i have nothing to look forward too!?? I PONDER! plus i guess im too old to pursue crafts and writing, watching movies and not falling asleep. im sorry i need to get out of here i am engulfed in this blogging now and every once in a while i have to stand up and wait while people pick and look around at the non-existant food we have...salads...sorry nothing! ooh what drink shall i get?? what kind of food, something from the menu? sorry those menu items do not pertain to the salads we onlythisoopsstupidlady have....BLAH! SICK OF THIS! everythingthatspilledteaonmylaptop))))))