i had a miscarriage last week. it was the toughest thing ever. i was supposed to be 11 weeks that day. my parents came in to get lunch with me. i was feeling kind of crampy, but i figured it was my uterus expanding. i asked my mom about it. we had subway for lunch. they told me to tell them im pregnant (work). i showed my parents the actual size of the baby. they left i went to the bathroom. light pink when i wiped. i got scared. i heard spotting is normal in pregnancy. i went to work. could not focus. had my last break. more light pink. clocked out and started crying. went to my ob-gyn. they made an appt for the next morning. i called out work. scared. googled signs of miscarriage. next morning went to the appt. she said sex could cause bleeding and i just had sex with kyle a few days ago (yeah whatever..)...i figured it was from that. she did the ultrasound. we saw the baby hanging out. aww how cute. no heartbeat. confirmed by dr. no heartbeat. looked at my mom, burst out crying. she hugged me and was crying too. the dr told me the baby stopped growing at after 8 weeks. so it died after i had my first ultrasound, but i was supposed to be 11 weeks.  didnt go to work next day. bleeding didnt really start. dr told me i had three options. opt for natural miscarriage, medicine to start it, or a d&c procedure. it was the weekend so i didnt make a decision. i went to get my bloodwork done. friday i went about my normal day. upset about losing the baby of course. later that night, i felt a big clot come out. im pretty sure it was the baby. my parents came over and they slept at my house in case i had to go to the ER or something. saturday i felt fine. went to bushkill park then went to the shades of death rd with mike. explored a bit. even went out for sherrys bday later that night. sunday i started getting more cramping. it was tolerable at first, passed alot of clots. started hurting really badly, couldnt move. passed alot of clots. weak, no energy. called my parents. they came and picked me up to bring me to the ER. was in so much pain. could not walk. blood pouring out. had to wait for an open room. terrible pains. finally a room was open, still hurting so much. passed more clots on the toilet. they gave me morphine which helped. went home about an hour later. my parents house. picked up meds including percocets.

monday i had appt with my general dr. i asked for anxiety pills. ive been on them since monday and they make me tired. tried to drink some beer last night kept passing out. very depressed. been on a leave of absense. my ob gyn dr didnt want me to go to work until next week. more bloodwork tomorrow then we are going to see why i keep getting miscarriages!??? why?





later today im going to get my hair cut and highlighted. shrug.