yeah so....one of my goals, well, the main goal is to get my own place! for real! do you know how much more content I will feel living on my own? then i can finally feel like i can focus, rather than just sort of...well, having no place of my own. a place where i can cook for myself and practice a more healthier lifestyle, somewhere that i can just relax! and decorate! i will feel so much better. i am grateful that my parents are letting me stay here, but i want more for myself! i need to feel proud of who i am! like i said, i can always write.
i want an office that i can sit at and write. i can always take trips too ya know? yes, i do like LA, but do i honestly have to live there? nah! too expensive! once i have my stories FINALLY written out, then yeah, i will head out there and find people to help me! i believe in myself!
sigh. so as i was saying, sage was so upset because the last night her mom just went crazy. i mean, i understand she wanted to drink, but cant you just hold off, until she leaves? it was friday night, she could of very easily waited till saturday IF she had to drink. lisa should not drink at all! she cant handle it. she gets very mean, vicious, crazy. she blames everyone, she puts everyone down, calling them names. she scares sage. sage does love her mother, but she doesnt want her to drink. sage is very smart, she is very intelligent. she wants a relationship with her mom, but imagine how it must feel that everytime she goes there she just drinks and acts that way? plus, lisa should respect that sage really does enjoy hanging out with her family. her grandpa and grandma and even her aunt , me (the crazy conspiracy nut). which isnt true at all. i do research and i am observant. sage is interested too, i know. shes curious. and we joke around and laugh. sage really does like to make youtube videos with me too (we need to edit the one we made of the snowstorm hercules. it would make sage very happy if lisa would, at least for a night, do something with us.
and matt doesnt need to be with us. it could be lisa hanging out with the browns. why cant lisa just hang around us? she thinks we are all against her. we are not. she thinks that we all hate her, which is not true at all. sage was telling us that everything she said about us is actually a reflection of how she feels within her self.
she thinks i need attention from everyone and woah is me. lisa craves attention. she wants love. she is so used to chaos. she is so used to putting everyone down and her heart is blackened. she does love her daughter dearly but she is not showing her the right way. she needs to be clear-headed, but drinking is not the way to do that. drinking only leads to muddling up the mind. she needs to look at herself, and see why she is hurting. she needs to take responsibility instead of blaming and accusing others. quarreling is not God wants. (at the same time i am not acting like i am perfect because yes i do have issues i need to deal with. im not perfect and i really dont like myself too much either)
back to sage and lisa. i was talking to sage on the phone as my parents were driving her home, because she really truly wants someone to reach out and help her mother. sage is aware that lisa will not listen to her family, so, who will she listen to? i thought about messaging marta, because she respects marta, but lisa will influence marta and it will be biased. i know lisa can say something mean about someone and they will agree. plus, lisa will get mad if she knows we contacted her friend. lisa always thinks i am so mean to moss, (despite that fact that yes he is just so....irritating! like scratching a chalkboard!) we butt heads moss and i. i know lisa does respect him tho, plus he is an alchohol counselor, so i really feel that if moss speaks to lisa, she will take his words into consideration
hercules RAISE OF EYEBROW HERCULES 3D OUT, SNOWSTORM HERCULES, HERCULES ST WHERE PAUL WALKER DIED
HMM...
so yes we feel that someone needs to speak to lisa. i think moss will because he is an alchohol counselor, i asked him too he doesnt seem to want to tho.
last night the devil spoke to me and so did God.
so i was messing around online and i saw some video about siri so i asked siri who let the dogs out. she replied in a funny manner. then someone posted about siri what is july 24th,
2014. she replies it is when they open the gates to hades. wha what!??
then i posted the apple alien eye logo...then i asked siri, 'siri why is your logo an alien eye' well i was cut off, and for some reason the answer was directions to the ground round...all of a sudden, on bobs burgers, i heard, 'EYE" then ground round...(huh!??!) then, 'this is the only way we can communicate with you'
WHO!??! devil? aliens? demons? robots? (later adult swim had a bump about robots taking over)
if i had the time i would find that along with the episode of bobs burgers or the script to it...(sacred cow...idol worship BAAL)
today i slept late. very late! i got a phone call about another job tho! also, my dad told me he could not sleep last night. he was having dreams about sages dad and her grandmother down there talking bad about lisa. he couldnt sleep so he went downstairs and prayed to God for an answer. then he said he opened up the Bible and he opened up to Proverbs 20 and 21...the whole chapter had the answers for us. it mentioned wine and drinking, it mentioned quarreling. it mentioned everytihng we were talking about...parents and child. (lisa and sage), it mentioned crabby woman. (lisa) lol...it even spoke to me it said 0:13 "If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Stay awake, work hard, and there will be plenty to eat."
i will have to find the proverbs verses. next verse actually mentioned about how a counselor can help, it means nothing without the words of God (wondering if Moss is the one to help. nope because he does not believe in God. he has said it numerous times, God is just like the easter bunny. blasphemy! i pray for his soul. i respect everyones beliefs tho, but God truly does speak to us! He will speak to you if you seek His answers!
sso the lesson here is, God is speaking to Lisa! if she does not listen to the word of God, then she shuns him. (i am going to write her a true heartfelt letter tho, i am just worried she wont take me seriously. she says in her drunkeness that she thinks i am a paranoid loser who sleeps on my parents couch (i dont tho! i sleep on the comfy bed in my room!)...she thinks i am childish and immature and always looking for attention (it just said, 'you are who you are, she is who she is' on the tv adult swim rick and morty, but that aint the Bible!!??! weird!??!) . i do pray for her. sigh...i guess i should be going to bed soon.
Proverbs 20
New International Version (NIV)
20 Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
whoever is led astray by them is not wise.
whoever is led astray by them is not wise.
2 A king’s wrath strikes terror like the roar of a lion;
those who anger him forfeit their lives.
those who anger him forfeit their lives.
3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
4 Sluggards do not plow in season;
so at harvest time they look but find nothing.
so at harvest time they look but find nothing.
5 The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters,
but one who has insight draws them out.
but one who has insight draws them out.
6 Many claim to have unfailing love,
but a faithful person who can find?
but a faithful person who can find?
7 The righteous lead blameless lives;
blessed are their children after them.
blessed are their children after them.
8 When a king sits on his throne to judge,
he winnows out all evil with his eyes.
he winnows out all evil with his eyes.
9 Who can say, “I have kept my heart pure;
I am clean and without sin”?
I am clean and without sin”?
10 Differing weights and differing measures—
the Lord detests them both.
the Lord detests them both.
11 Even small children are known by their actions,
so is their conduct really pure and upright?
so is their conduct really pure and upright?
12 Ears that hear and eyes that see—
the Lord has made them both.
the Lord has made them both.
13 Do not love sleep or you will grow poor;
stay awake and you will have food to spare.
stay awake and you will have food to spare.
14 “It’s no good, it’s no good!” says the buyer—
then goes off and boasts about the purchase.
then goes off and boasts about the purchase.
15 Gold there is, and rubies in abundance,
but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.
but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.
16 Take the garment of one who puts up security for a stranger;
hold it in pledge if it is done for an outsider.
hold it in pledge if it is done for an outsider.
17 Food gained by fraud tastes sweet,
but one ends up with a mouth full of gravel.
but one ends up with a mouth full of gravel.
18 Plans are established by seeking advice;
so if you wage war, obtain guidance.
so if you wage war, obtain guidance.
19 A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid anyone who talks too much.
so avoid anyone who talks too much.
20 If someone curses their father or mother,
their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.
their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.
21 An inheritance claimed too soon
will not be blessed at the end.
will not be blessed at the end.
22 Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”
Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.
Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.
23 The Lord detests differing weights,
and dishonest scales do not please him.
and dishonest scales do not please him.
24 A person’s steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand their own way?
How then can anyone understand their own way?
25 It is a trap to dedicate something rashly
and only later to consider one’s vows.
and only later to consider one’s vows.
26 A wise king winnows out the wicked;
he drives the threshing wheel over them.
he drives the threshing wheel over them.
27 The human spirit is[a] the lamp of the Lord
that sheds light on one’s inmost being.
that sheds light on one’s inmost being.
28 Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;
through love his throne is made secure.
through love his throne is made secure.
29 The glory of young men is their strength,
gray hair the splendor of the old.
gray hair the splendor of the old.
30 Blows and wounds scrub away evil,
and beatings purge the inmost being.
and beatings purge the inmost being.

