more on the comedy movie tho, why does it have to have a point tho? real life doesnt have poignant turn of events or happy endings, or revolutionary ideas, real people dont always experience some life changing turn of events. heck, i'd like to make a movie about regular people. i kind of felt the los feliz/hollywood incense smelling vibe from seeing tim and his hipster LA like friends, or even hanging out in manhatten or wherever they were..new york bars. sometimes if a movie gives you a feeling, well, its a good thing! i want to make a film on just ...hanging out! conversation! to make you fel like you are there! i mean, i like that! im gonna get a video camera and film my life. i always wanted to do htat im reading the rotten tomatoes review for this movie. check it out!

Hey

So, i felt like i wanted to post but now im just too tired/lazy too. wanted to write about the weekend....but then why? cuz the dj put on 'me so horny' song..and said" there is nothing wrong with feeling 'horny' after i fucking blogged about it!?? you know? just weird.............sigh...that was friday...you know? i dont feel like blogging about it tho, cuz what if? what if ppls are reading this.? (i hung out w/ someone i like....dkinda?)

alright them mike got mad, saturday he took off to your welcome inn by himself i wanted to do something so adam and i went to tally hos but it was lame.

so heres the deal, why? why is my life like this? its not what i want!??

so i started work.

ok so...........i also want to write the script of the temperpedic mattress skit, but im too tired and i need a shower.

also want to write my review of the comedy, that tim heidecker movie..


ok i will
mike wanted to watch something on netflix, so i was looking. couldnt find anything. went to drama,. noticed the comedy. i was like, lets watch this. he fell asleep so i just watched it but i kept wondering about how many people got up and left during this really stupid boring movie.

why do i think its stupid and boring? because it was meant to be. but they did it to appeal to hipsters who 'like' tim and eric. and they would say the loved the movie, because they think it was brilliantly ironic...or something. it was dumb, no plot, and if there was, who cares. it didnt keep my attention, although i did think about it a few times when i was at work (in fact, the thought of tim and eric being erased from my mind made me think when i was at work, i wonder what they are going to do now, that they are erased from my mind?) and thats when i saw the movie on netflix, and they were brought back to my mind..?

so like...the only tim and eric-esque thing was in the cab...(maybe i will link it on youtube)....and the church thing...but it was just stupid!!?

now im going to search online for reviews, but im going to avoid adultswim.com because im nervous...and tired.

weird synch.

ok so...i always get these weird syncs while watching family guy and american dad...so...i was reading this article, (i closed it or i;d link it) it was about a sheep that had a human face. some people really think a human was responsible for that! and i know people treat me like im stupid cuz im a 'conspiracy theorist' but i am not dumb enough to believe a human fathered a deformed lamb..

so.......anyways, american dad....he had to take this guy to the CIA to get his memory erased...(weird huh?), so......they dressed up as dogs and ran into the SPCA...anyways long story short...the lady was like, 'I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE" ((half dog/half man)) made me think of what i just read..

"CIA brain scrambling device"...wow

megan fox story

i clicked on 'megan fox has brown eyes?' story (cuz i saw someone visited that page on my blog)...i dont think she does tho. i think she really has blue eyes, come to think of it. so i found this story online...whilst googling what color are megan fox's eyes? so...this makes me ponder...she had a normal life? really? she had some kind of boyfriend? really? or was she busy getting programmed, like tiger woods has been since a tiny babe...(still feeling the affects of drinking sorry. oh yeah sorry for posting too :( ) um.......

but yeah, megan fox? so she was destined to be a star? when she was ritually abused to have mannequin alters (pics on the web)...like...smh SHAKING MY HEAD!!! well, shes not really a star now. shes not cast in movies anymore. she has had too much plastic surgery!?? and shes a brian austin green pregnant wife, who was spotted years ago, eating at LUCIFERS in los feliz, whilst wearing a baphomet shirt!?? ugh...hollywood!??

im not being mean or jealous, or insincere...but thoughts arose as i read what an ex boyfriend wrote.

really, ex-boyfriend? she didnt ever show signs of being a multiple...personality person?

anyways, here is what i read: ((oh yeah, 'naughty' megan had you stack cookie boxes? say whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????))) -i felt like 'stewie' from family guy. i wonder if family guy creator seth mcfarland/macfarlane whatever...knows about megans alters?? he seems to know about mila kunis's russian spy/prostitute alter (from that episode...uh...leggo my meggo...)


 Megan loved looking at women’s bodies.
“She just had no inhibitions and made no bones about the fact she liked to fantasise about being with a woman.
“There were many times she would look at magazines for hours pointing out which actresses she thought were hot. Angelina Jolie was high up on her list.
“She would say: ‘Look at her body Ben it’s gorgeous don’t you think?’
“She just loved women who were not conventionally pretty and looked like they were into anything. Because that’s what Megan was like…
“So I am not in the slightest bit shocked one of the first people she slept with after I had ended our relationship was a woman.”…
While most girls are into make-up and shoes, Megan was just a total rebel who loved to hang out with the boys and luckily her favourite boy was me.
“Megan and I spent every minute together and she loved doing anything and everything with me. We used to go fishing and surfing, total boys things which Megan loved.
“But while she was a total tomboy Megan also knew how to drive me wild to using her female charms. She would just have to look at me with those huge eyes and tell me she loved me and my heart would just leap…
And as the pair grew older Ben tells how he got to see more and more of Megan’s body when she would creep out late at night to be with the boy she loved.
Ben told the News Of The World: “Megan started to really rebel against her parents who were very strict.
“She would have these huge arguments, then call me to say she had run away. And then when she was feeling really naughty on a few occasions she told me to come to the house late at night.
“And while her parents were sleeping she would order me to stack cookie boxes up to her window so she could climb down from her bedroom window and spend a few hours with me.
“We had some amazing nights laying under the stars. She would giggle and shriek with laughter knowing that while her parents were in bed she was outside doing all sorts with me.
“Which was totally up Megan’s street because she loved doing anything which was naughty.
“I was Megan’s first love and she was mine so those times were extra special as we were doing things together we had never done before.”
[From News of The World via Gossip Rocks]
But of course it was not to be. Megan moved to Hollywood and started on her path to stardom, while Ben was content to stay in Florida, fish and work as a firefighter. She eventually cheated on him with 7th Heaven star David Gallagher:

And not long after Megan had landed her first small part alongside LINDSAY LOHAN in Confessions of a Teenage drama Queen Ben knew their days as a couple were numbered.
He said: “I always knew Megan was going to be a big star. She just had this aura around her and this incredible sexy irresistible quality which I knew would make her famous…
“So suddenly Megan’s new world began to sound like it was on a different planet to me and I knew I would not fit in and never wanted to anyway.
“As the weeks went by Megan seemed to be becoming more and more obsessed with all that Hollywood had to offer and I could sense she was drifting away from me.”
But the final straw for Ben came when he discovered Megan had started to spend more time with US soap actor David Gallagher.
“All of a sudden all Megan talked about was David this, David that,” says Ben…
“Megan was hard to control when she lived near by, but thousands of miles away amongst all these rich actors I did not stand a chance.
“And so I called her and told her I thought it was best we went our separate ways. Megan begged me not to end it but even she must have known deep down we were never going to last.
“Our worlds had gone in such totally different directions.
“We both cried but still today I know I made the right decision.
“As a firefighter I would never have been able to afford to live in Los Angeles and I am sure as hell not the kind of man who would ever have been content to live off her money. I have way too much pride for that.
“So now I just am content to keep on fishing and make do with seeing Megan on the big screen. And at the end of the day I am just so proud of all she has achieved.”

 

  




 

facebook post

i'd like to post this on facebook (i wouldn't tho)...

slicing your wrist transdermally kind of feels like getting a tattoo

anyways, mike is mad at me. he shouldn;t be tho.

i have told him time and time again...

every weekend its the same thing. i want to hang out with him, i try to hang out with him...he just can't.

he never wants to go out. i mean, no, going out isn't an important priority, but i do like going out and stuff.

i mean, whats wrong? and i also want to feel attraction towards someone. its nice to go out get a few drinks, relax, whatever i dont know?

i wanted to go out with him last night but he did not want too. he never wants too.

so of course, naturally he is out tonight...and didn't want me to go.

why do i want to live with him if we have nothing anymore. he doesnt want to go out, i do (on a friday night), i mean, i wore one of my new outfits last night , (still need more loose fitting shirts tho)...it wasn't an outfit i felt completely comfortable in; shiny black leggings, long pink floyd tank from h&m, sheer purple flannel, sweator, and i tried to do my makeup...mike and i went to ruby tuesday for dinner i was hoping that he would want to go out, because i am sick of just doing nothing. sitting in the basement. him on the couch. him falling asleep and snoring.

im sick of it!?? i want to do fun things! i want to be out and about, i want to laugh, joke and talk. i am good at it. mike never wants too. he never wants to really talk, and i have said this to him numerous times. i told him, 'mike then dont get mad if i want to go out with other guys' i mean, whats wrong with that? its not cheating, i have told him this. i don't feel like he really cares about me, or he takes me for granted. brb

im so sick of my life. i just sliced up my wrist with a razor. it didnt hurt but then it stung but i am so overcome by loss of emotion it doesnt even matter. now i have these razor cuts on my wrist what am i going to do now? put a bandaid over it? i fucking hate it here. i hate my life here. now i got this job which means im stuck. i cant leave now. i hate mike. i am stuck tho! im stuck. he ruined my life! he never wants to do anything. so why does he care if i want to do stuff. i dont want to sit around the house. its a beautiful day out and im stuck here. im stuck. he took off because i went out last night and came home late. so what? he doesnt ever want to go out, well, i like too. i had fun last night who cares? what does it matter? and he just left me here today. i dont need to be here. im in no condition to try to leave tho. its like i cant, because i just want to wait for him to come back. i wanted to get alchohol and a razor and wait for him. i would really like to go out and enjoy myself. theres a party later at riverside, but im in no condition. im in no condition to even try and be a person anymore. what does it matter? what does anything matter? nothing does. i am just this shell...i am emotionless, i feel nothing, (except confusion and..........amusement.) why am i amused? why the fuck am i so amused!????

job

so, i got the job. great. woo. woo hoo.

:/ 

i was hoping to go to LA, but i guess thats just the way things work.

i guess mike wins.!? he wants me to be like him. he mocks me as a person. he doesn't understand me. 

i tell him all the time, 'you don't even know who i was before i met you'

he doesn't. he thinks of me as someone who can help him with rent. ugh im sick. i dont feel like blogging, although i thought i did?

mike got me sick. he was sick so i made him chicken noodle soup, now im sick? what the fuck? and its nice out!!! i dont know? i was trying to find something nice and comfy to wear but i cant. i feel kind of out of it tho...