mike wanted to watch a movie, so the freaks and geeks show reminded him of a movie he has, grandmas boy (cuz the guy and girl from the show is in the movie) so we watched it. at one point, i happened to check facebook from my phone, and saw that 'word up' had commented on my poison ear post. i even thought, who is 'word up' anyways??
then i went back to watching the movie...and the next thing the guy said, was , 'word up'
HAHHHHHHHHA
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
more ear poison
so the other day, when i said i saw the band on the simpsons, it was called, 'ear poison' i kept googling it, because they had a sign. i had wanted to take a picture of it, but since my phone was charging, i was too lazy to get up to get my phone...(i was laying on the couch by the tv watching...the phone was plugged into my laptop charging. i was at mikes house too...shrug)..
sooooo.............for the next two days, i'd of been googling, 'ear poison'....to see if that episode would at least come up, or something to that extent...
a recap was found, mentioning something about how the band was starting on a led zeppelin tune then switched to some other tune...(not sure if that means anything!?? i'd have to check again)
anywho....each time i would google 'ear poison, simpsons' an OLDER episode would come up. one with shakespearian events...like hamlet and what not. in those episodes, it looks as if bart say, 'poison in my ear' and continue to go on to EAR POISON, but just not the ear poison i was looking for!??!
ear poison....hear, poison?? here, poison!??! hmmm, here, poison! HEAR, poison!???!
hear the VOICES/dreams, we put in your head, poison!??! (hmm i wish!??? just kidding..)
but yeah, an older episode of EAR POISON would come up...
so yesterday, i took note of that special episode, the one which often finds itself, alongside with, 'often an orphan', and the likes...the ones found on hastily made and typo ridden CONSPIRACY!!!! youtube videos!!! the simpsons episode i am referring to is the malibu stacy one!!! where the malibu stacy dolls are wearing pyramid heads with the ALL SEEING EYE on it!!! (SCARLETT JOHANNNZEN) *cue spooky monster mash voice, and twilight zone music*
((it was a graveyard smash! oh, we just watched a freaks and geeks episode, the halloween one, and the mom was singing in a weird voice, 'they did the mash! they did the monster mash!))
so i am thinking, 'ahh, the famous, classic, 'all seeing eye' episode...the one those videos all use. well you see, malibu stacy is like barbie, and malibu stacy was made to BRAINWASH young girls into how lisa says, 'marry rich and get a yacht or whatever'...oh lisa! even THAT goal is unobtainable for the average girl! LOL!! im kidding! but seriously, most marry their counterparts, each splitting the bills, having kids, and working together, the gold diggers are all from california, im joking of course! i'll shut up now...
but that is why malibu stacy was wearing a pyramid head, she is part of the agenda into brainwashing girls.
but of course, i see the episode differently. see, they could of BLATANTLY put the other 'all seeing eye' episode up, the 'lisa sage and poison one' where mr burns LOOKS THROUGH THE EYE OF THE DOLLAR!! but they chose to use classic malibu stacy...but the msg was clear, 'we are keeping an EYE out on you, but of course!??!
so....today, mike had put on the simpsons again, and this time, it WAS THAT OLDER EPISODE, THE SHAKESPEAR EAR POISON ONE!!! im like, HA!! i have been searching for this and now they play it!???! oh yeah, it too, had a jar with EAR POISON written on it, but i was too lazy to get my charging phone once again...
i have been asking THEM, please! (wait i will ask later)
so yeah, and then, the episode after (we did go to the dollar store but made it back in time for me to see HOMER AND BART MOONING THE OOGLE VAN!!! oogle, like malibu stacy being a...whatever, for barbie, oogle being a...whatever, for GOOGLE!!
SIMPSONS GOOGLE!
so what is the random occurence of msgs here!??
SIMPSONS EAR POISON, ALL SEEING EYE, EAR POISON, GOOGLE
in other words, WE ARE MONITORING YOU AND KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING!
well then you know what the fuck is driving me to feel like a PEICE OF SHIT!!! BLOOD SACRIFICE...SATANIC FUCKING STALKER ASSHOLE FUCKBITCHES
wow im really cursing huh!?? cuz whatever
look, thats fine, if THEY know everything i am doing, and i was discussing this with jay....and we came to a conclusion...
please! help me out!??! ya know!?? can you do something for me!?? something GOOD FOR ME!??!
to which satan replied, and to which im like NOOOO!! uh UH!! never!!
my mind and body know better then that even!!!
so what!?? HUH!?? WHAT NOW!??! WHATCHOUGONDO!??!
right?? entice me!?? yes do please! entice away (opens palm for nougat)
just a taste...please!??!
IT WAS THE MASH! IT WAS THE MONSTER MASH!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ4s_gKtUgg
ooh almost forgot!! about scarlett johansennn
mike likes to taunt me (oh, why am i here? none of your business thats what)
so yeah, he always talks about how 'beautiful she is' blah, like shes some sort of goddess....he knows it makes me mad so thats why he does it!??! 'she was in maxims hottest' yeah when she was promoting don john! i keep telling him, makeup! mike! its makeup! its hairstylists! its fitness instructors! its lighting! its photoshop! its wardrobe! its fittings! its the wind machine in the hair! its the backup music that plays while they walk to or away from a gawking character in a movie, slack jawed in awe at her movie magic beauty! anyone could be in the scene and they can be freaking hot and desirable! i can be in a scene, and be like, 'well, i think i am off to take naners to the naner arena...to get the nans no nans!!! yeah' and then that song, 'no nans' will play! remember that song!?? no nann ho! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrdkWrzNlOA
so im like, mike, guarenteed, i look better then scarlett johanssen without makeup and hair! so i googled it GOOGLE, and i found a pic (plus she has cake boob that lost its kerfluffle, its just sort of, smashed cake)
not to be a hater, but she looks worse than me?! im just proving a point, these celebrities are NOT goddesses without flaws! ok? its so tough for real women i guess, when their 'man' or whatever, constantly talks about how hot these actresses are or whatever. it is discouraging is all that i am saying!??! anyone can be hot with the right team!!
so i told mike about the ear poison thing, and hes like, 'thats not for you' lori, they dont know about you' it is so easy to explain tho! ahem INTERNET!!??
so he says he can call himself so and so blah..he turned the channel to jeopardy right!?
one of the column topics was ACTRESSES! he answered, 'sophia vergara' (another one who wears tons of makeup...when i wear makeup tho, he says i wear too much!? i never wear makeup btw...but if i wear too much, well, all the actresses you OOGLE/OGLE do to than!??)
i looked up...'really? sophia vergara? can i ever get a break?" then i see its a column on jeopardy, so i was bracing myself for scarlett johansen of course! i had a feeling, might you say...
well the last one in actresses was actually not scarlett johanseen, but it was another actress, 'vivian leigh' i did a book report on margaret mitchell, and vivian leigh, played SCARLETT O'HARA on gone with the wind!!!
im like, SEE MIKE!??! but of course, mike didnt even give a crap!!
now, listen to those songs!! (or not! but im going too!!)
OH YEAH! I AM ASKING, PLEASE?! HELP ME OUT!? WAIT A MIN, I WROTE THAT? NEVERMIND
BUT I WANT A TASTE....of poison!! (i can write a book!!! yeah!! a BOOK)
sooooo.............for the next two days, i'd of been googling, 'ear poison'....to see if that episode would at least come up, or something to that extent...
a recap was found, mentioning something about how the band was starting on a led zeppelin tune then switched to some other tune...(not sure if that means anything!?? i'd have to check again)
anywho....each time i would google 'ear poison, simpsons' an OLDER episode would come up. one with shakespearian events...like hamlet and what not. in those episodes, it looks as if bart say, 'poison in my ear' and continue to go on to EAR POISON, but just not the ear poison i was looking for!??!
ear poison....hear, poison?? here, poison!??! hmmm, here, poison! HEAR, poison!???!
hear the VOICES/dreams, we put in your head, poison!??! (hmm i wish!??? just kidding..)
but yeah, an older episode of EAR POISON would come up...
so yesterday, i took note of that special episode, the one which often finds itself, alongside with, 'often an orphan', and the likes...the ones found on hastily made and typo ridden CONSPIRACY!!!! youtube videos!!! the simpsons episode i am referring to is the malibu stacy one!!! where the malibu stacy dolls are wearing pyramid heads with the ALL SEEING EYE on it!!! (SCARLETT JOHANNNZEN) *cue spooky monster mash voice, and twilight zone music*
((it was a graveyard smash! oh, we just watched a freaks and geeks episode, the halloween one, and the mom was singing in a weird voice, 'they did the mash! they did the monster mash!))
so i am thinking, 'ahh, the famous, classic, 'all seeing eye' episode...the one those videos all use. well you see, malibu stacy is like barbie, and malibu stacy was made to BRAINWASH young girls into how lisa says, 'marry rich and get a yacht or whatever'...oh lisa! even THAT goal is unobtainable for the average girl! LOL!! im kidding! but seriously, most marry their counterparts, each splitting the bills, having kids, and working together, the gold diggers are all from california, im joking of course! i'll shut up now...
but that is why malibu stacy was wearing a pyramid head, she is part of the agenda into brainwashing girls.
but of course, i see the episode differently. see, they could of BLATANTLY put the other 'all seeing eye' episode up, the 'lisa sage and poison one' where mr burns LOOKS THROUGH THE EYE OF THE DOLLAR!! but they chose to use classic malibu stacy...but the msg was clear, 'we are keeping an EYE out on you, but of course!??!
so....today, mike had put on the simpsons again, and this time, it WAS THAT OLDER EPISODE, THE SHAKESPEAR EAR POISON ONE!!! im like, HA!! i have been searching for this and now they play it!???! oh yeah, it too, had a jar with EAR POISON written on it, but i was too lazy to get my charging phone once again...
i have been asking THEM, please! (wait i will ask later)
so yeah, and then, the episode after (we did go to the dollar store but made it back in time for me to see HOMER AND BART MOONING THE OOGLE VAN!!! oogle, like malibu stacy being a...whatever, for barbie, oogle being a...whatever, for GOOGLE!!
SIMPSONS GOOGLE!
so what is the random occurence of msgs here!??
SIMPSONS EAR POISON, ALL SEEING EYE, EAR POISON, GOOGLE
in other words, WE ARE MONITORING YOU AND KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING!
well then you know what the fuck is driving me to feel like a PEICE OF SHIT!!! BLOOD SACRIFICE...SATANIC FUCKING STALKER ASSHOLE FUCKBITCHES
wow im really cursing huh!?? cuz whatever
look, thats fine, if THEY know everything i am doing, and i was discussing this with jay....and we came to a conclusion...
please! help me out!??! ya know!?? can you do something for me!?? something GOOD FOR ME!??!
to which satan replied, and to which im like NOOOO!! uh UH!! never!!
my mind and body know better then that even!!!
so what!?? HUH!?? WHAT NOW!??! WHATCHOUGONDO!??!
right?? entice me!?? yes do please! entice away (opens palm for nougat)
just a taste...please!??!
IT WAS THE MASH! IT WAS THE MONSTER MASH!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZ4s_gKtUgg
ooh almost forgot!! about scarlett johansennn
mike likes to taunt me (oh, why am i here? none of your business thats what)
so yeah, he always talks about how 'beautiful she is' blah, like shes some sort of goddess....he knows it makes me mad so thats why he does it!??! 'she was in maxims hottest' yeah when she was promoting don john! i keep telling him, makeup! mike! its makeup! its hairstylists! its fitness instructors! its lighting! its photoshop! its wardrobe! its fittings! its the wind machine in the hair! its the backup music that plays while they walk to or away from a gawking character in a movie, slack jawed in awe at her movie magic beauty! anyone could be in the scene and they can be freaking hot and desirable! i can be in a scene, and be like, 'well, i think i am off to take naners to the naner arena...to get the nans no nans!!! yeah' and then that song, 'no nans' will play! remember that song!?? no nann ho! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrdkWrzNlOA
so im like, mike, guarenteed, i look better then scarlett johanssen without makeup and hair! so i googled it GOOGLE, and i found a pic (plus she has cake boob that lost its kerfluffle, its just sort of, smashed cake)
not to be a hater, but she looks worse than me?! im just proving a point, these celebrities are NOT goddesses without flaws! ok? its so tough for real women i guess, when their 'man' or whatever, constantly talks about how hot these actresses are or whatever. it is discouraging is all that i am saying!??! anyone can be hot with the right team!!
so i told mike about the ear poison thing, and hes like, 'thats not for you' lori, they dont know about you' it is so easy to explain tho! ahem INTERNET!!??
so he says he can call himself so and so blah..he turned the channel to jeopardy right!?
one of the column topics was ACTRESSES! he answered, 'sophia vergara' (another one who wears tons of makeup...when i wear makeup tho, he says i wear too much!? i never wear makeup btw...but if i wear too much, well, all the actresses you OOGLE/OGLE do to than!??)
i looked up...'really? sophia vergara? can i ever get a break?" then i see its a column on jeopardy, so i was bracing myself for scarlett johansen of course! i had a feeling, might you say...
well the last one in actresses was actually not scarlett johanseen, but it was another actress, 'vivian leigh' i did a book report on margaret mitchell, and vivian leigh, played SCARLETT O'HARA on gone with the wind!!!
im like, SEE MIKE!??! but of course, mike didnt even give a crap!!
now, listen to those songs!! (or not! but im going too!!)
OH YEAH! I AM ASKING, PLEASE?! HELP ME OUT!? WAIT A MIN, I WROTE THAT? NEVERMIND
BUT I WANT A TASTE....of poison!! (i can write a book!!! yeah!! a BOOK)
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
girl kicked out of prom for being too provacative
first of all, i never went to my prom. i would of loved too! of course! who wouldn't of!??! the guy i liked, who used to talk to me by the lockers between classes, ended up dating my friend, yvonne...i mean, i transferred to warren tech my senior year. i was always very quiet in high school, and when i went to belvidere, while i did have friends, often times i thought about moving and going to a new high school, to start over i guess. i just felt so alone in school, i dont know? i never really talked either? i was weird i guess. so i transferred to warren tech, and i have always been attractive, so i did get attention from guys...cute, popular gys even...?? they talked to me, but i was still very quiet and insecure so i didnt really know how to use what personality i had for my benefit. i was artistic, and people actually thought i was smart!?? yeah really..right? anyways, i never dated anyone tho. this guy did ask me, this other guy who was kind of quiet. and my friend had set it up for me to go the prom with this guy named tom. actually the guy who asked me was tom, and the guy my friend set me up with was tom?? well, the guy i wanted to go with, jason (the one i liked), started dating my friend yvonne, a thin, pretty girl with long, shiny dyed red hair. so i just ended up...not going!??!
anyways, i was just reading this, and yeah, i would imagine, if i were at the prom, and a bunch of older men were above us, watching us...i would feel very uncomfortable. its like, let them have fun you know?
they are still kids! i see high schoolers now, even seniors, and while yes, they are turning into adults, enrolling into colleges, obtaining their drivers license, working at fast food places or department stores to save up some money, being camp counselors, volunteering, i still see them as kids. i would want them to feel comfortable at their prom, and enjoy themselves! the prom is a very special time for teenagers. everything is very special to teenagers at that time! everything is new, and important!
i feel bad for the girl who had to go through with what she did! i used to HATE when i saw older men looking at me! i would be like, 'eww gross dont look at me!??!" you know!?? ugchkkk
anyways...here is a link: http://www.hannahettinger.com/fuck-the-patriarchy-guest-post-by-clare/
oh so my friend asked me to go to the prom, where he teaches at. im like, 'sure!!! i'll go!" it will be fun! although im just gonna wear a classy dinner dress (no prommy dresses lol!) still, it will be nice! :)
hes such a good friend. i chat with him all the time.
what else? i forget...oh yeah, once, my work at the time had a christmas party for some reason my ex boyfriend glenn didnt want to go with me??? so i ended up bringing my friend stephanie...who wore this big froufy PROM DRESS!??! to the christmas party!???! i wore this really cool, asymmetrical arden b. dress, with a sort of subdued candy cane stripe, i looked very classy and modern with a 70s retro vibe, but she wore some sort of prom dress??! then, she got drunk and hooked up with my boss!! although i got drunk too. we went to the club afterwards with the boss and his pretty secretary jolene! ha!!! how embarrassing!??! i was hoping the guy i liked would of been at that party, jeff. he had a nice smile and smiling brown eyes!! he was cute and my age..(i was 23 at the time)....LOL
anyways, i was just reading this, and yeah, i would imagine, if i were at the prom, and a bunch of older men were above us, watching us...i would feel very uncomfortable. its like, let them have fun you know?
they are still kids! i see high schoolers now, even seniors, and while yes, they are turning into adults, enrolling into colleges, obtaining their drivers license, working at fast food places or department stores to save up some money, being camp counselors, volunteering, i still see them as kids. i would want them to feel comfortable at their prom, and enjoy themselves! the prom is a very special time for teenagers. everything is very special to teenagers at that time! everything is new, and important!
i feel bad for the girl who had to go through with what she did! i used to HATE when i saw older men looking at me! i would be like, 'eww gross dont look at me!??!" you know!?? ugchkkk
anyways...here is a link: http://www.hannahettinger.com/fuck-the-patriarchy-guest-post-by-clare/
oh so my friend asked me to go to the prom, where he teaches at. im like, 'sure!!! i'll go!" it will be fun! although im just gonna wear a classy dinner dress (no prommy dresses lol!) still, it will be nice! :)
hes such a good friend. i chat with him all the time.
what else? i forget...oh yeah, once, my work at the time had a christmas party for some reason my ex boyfriend glenn didnt want to go with me??? so i ended up bringing my friend stephanie...who wore this big froufy PROM DRESS!??! to the christmas party!???! i wore this really cool, asymmetrical arden b. dress, with a sort of subdued candy cane stripe, i looked very classy and modern with a 70s retro vibe, but she wore some sort of prom dress??! then, she got drunk and hooked up with my boss!! although i got drunk too. we went to the club afterwards with the boss and his pretty secretary jolene! ha!!! how embarrassing!??! i was hoping the guy i liked would of been at that party, jeff. he had a nice smile and smiling brown eyes!! he was cute and my age..(i was 23 at the time)....LOL
anyone can dj?
http://tabrag.com/portfolio/the-l-a-gay-and-lesbian-centers-annual-dj-battle-at-the-beverly-hilton/
i think i can come up with some good tunes for a good party atmosphere! yeah! good music that will make ppls hearts beat!
a little bit of 80s, some new wave (depeche mode, uh.....i dont know!?? good songs!)
some dreamy dance (clams casino, coco rosie, grimes (overrated, a bit...still some good songs that will get peoples moods elevated!)
old school snoop dogg, dr. dre, eminem....old school dance! everybody dance now! i've got the power! (for the LOLZ!! like a real lolzy lame-azz)
classic rock!! (led zeppelin, black sabbath, etc)
new songs, (new dance songs, izzy azalea, whatever is a new fun dance song!??!)
i can drink to that all night! (country song about drinking! )
more dance songs! mixture of different genres
old hackers song (for fun)
requests!!!!
latch-disclosure
some rock songs from the black keys
in the meantime-space hog
some disco from kool and the gang and the isley brothers...
hey!! i can 'dj' out some good party tunes!!! maybe i wont scratch it up and back it up....or whatever djs do. i just, personally, find it more fun to be at a party where a mix of familiar and new, fun tunes are incorporated into the atmosphere. honestly, who wants to hear beats per minute or edm or whatever its called? techno where you cant be like, 'aww shit thaz my jam!" techno gets annoying after a while, and it will cause ppl to get bored and leave! good familiar throwback songs usually bring buzzed party goers back to life, as well as some good, recent, dance tunes as well ya know!??!
YAH I KNOW!!
i think i can come up with some good tunes for a good party atmosphere! yeah! good music that will make ppls hearts beat!
a little bit of 80s, some new wave (depeche mode, uh.....i dont know!?? good songs!)
some dreamy dance (clams casino, coco rosie, grimes (overrated, a bit...still some good songs that will get peoples moods elevated!)
old school snoop dogg, dr. dre, eminem....old school dance! everybody dance now! i've got the power! (for the LOLZ!! like a real lolzy lame-azz)
classic rock!! (led zeppelin, black sabbath, etc)
new songs, (new dance songs, izzy azalea, whatever is a new fun dance song!??!)
i can drink to that all night! (country song about drinking! )
more dance songs! mixture of different genres
old hackers song (for fun)
requests!!!!
latch-disclosure
some rock songs from the black keys
in the meantime-space hog
some disco from kool and the gang and the isley brothers...
hey!! i can 'dj' out some good party tunes!!! maybe i wont scratch it up and back it up....or whatever djs do. i just, personally, find it more fun to be at a party where a mix of familiar and new, fun tunes are incorporated into the atmosphere. honestly, who wants to hear beats per minute or edm or whatever its called? techno where you cant be like, 'aww shit thaz my jam!" techno gets annoying after a while, and it will cause ppl to get bored and leave! good familiar throwback songs usually bring buzzed party goers back to life, as well as some good, recent, dance tunes as well ya know!??!
YAH I KNOW!!
you know, heres the thing. that guy jimmy, first of all, aside from all of his sexist, uncalled for comments, (let me see that ass, may i borrow 10.00?, your sexy, etc) to which i have TOLD him numerous times to stop, he is also VERBALLY abusive to me, and i have been very tolerant of him, but now, i just cant do it! i actually kind of wanted to camp out with him, cook out, (he does bbq really well, and i do enjoy being a fellow UFO provacatuer, drinking some beers over a campfire by the river, just chillin and i was planning on making documentary about him, but fuck it! he is so rude! i should really keep these rude people out of my life! but do i do it? no! i allow people to be rude to me. when i know i am a nice, forgiving person. i am! i hardly hold grudges, but at the same time, i do take notes and i see where they are wrong. with lisa, i never handed her that letter, but it is VERY fair and unbiased, its not written by a 'baby' at all, actually i think i understand psychology very well, im smarter than a lot of people give me credit.
anyways, constantly, i see updates from jimmy every week about how he is going to stop drinking. so he drinks, then he feels hungover, then he posts about how he is going to stop drinking. well fine, then stop! but he says it every week! i can say that too, but a week or so after i say it, i may find myself drinking again! i will not issue such a statement unless i am going to be SERIOUS about it! and even then, i will wait to (IF) i decide to announce my sobriety, but based on reading what other people write, they always fall off the train...and resort back to posting about getting wasted. first they will be like, 'im never gonna drink again!" then, a month later, 'fuck it im getting wasted tonight!'
see what i mean? dont say anything if you dont mean it! and he says the same thing every week! but then he is drinking 40s! so how can anyone take him seriously? then he ends up reporting from the hospital, where, as he put it, (the nurses here are hot i wish it could be like a brazzers video) SEXIST mysoginst! no respect for women huh? he sees them as sex objects apparently. and these nurses are all so supportive of him. hes like, everyone here is so supportive! of course they will be! they work there! they are going to be supportive! so he msgd me to tell me hes in detox (he has went to the hospital before too)...so i asked him what happened? because really, what happened to cause him to go to the hospital???
he said he needs to change his addictive ways, well fine! then do it! he didnt answer me he was vague, so i was like, 'well dont drink! but each time you go to the hospital because you are hungover, you are racking up hospital bills." then he got mad at me and called me a fucking moron.
who the fuck is he!??? i dont deserve to be called names. i said, do NOT call me names! im not going to sugar coat anything! i asked you why are you in the hospital and you did not answer me! i do NOT need his verbal abuse!
then he says, why should i listen to someone who has 3 duis? (lisa said that to me too)....what? i have my own fucking alchohlism problems i deal with, that doesnt mean what i have to say isnt legit! i know all about alchohlism! i had to take MANY classes on it! and many more yet to come!
im so sick of people being so rude to me all the time! i dont deserve that shit! and a lot of people are like that to me, even ppl i dont know! my self esteem is DAMAGED because of some shit some peice of satanic scumbag did to me! im just gonna say, internet stalking! someone freakin....
made disgusting profiles of me using my liking to all kinds of pathetic sites, dating sites, bbw, milf, swingers etc
FUCK YOU YOU KNOW!?!!?? and then my sister being so rude to me, even mike. mike wants better for me, he does, but i do not need to be called names or anything!
i am DONE!!! ok!?? I DONT NEED THIS SHIT!!!
i need to work on my self!
now they found cancerous cells on my moms thyroid so she needs to do radiation. i dont know how serious radiation is, but its scary. shes going to have to be isolated for four days because of it tho.
deep breath.
i really need everything to start looking up. this is alot of stress. its hard.
oh heres what he wrote to me,,,the thing is, i would tell mike, but rather than mike reassure me and tell me jimmys a dick, he would just...laugh about it
then he blocked me. fuck him rude peice of shit going through withdrawals. hell probably msg me in a few days well fuck him! im done with being nice to these assholes
anyways, constantly, i see updates from jimmy every week about how he is going to stop drinking. so he drinks, then he feels hungover, then he posts about how he is going to stop drinking. well fine, then stop! but he says it every week! i can say that too, but a week or so after i say it, i may find myself drinking again! i will not issue such a statement unless i am going to be SERIOUS about it! and even then, i will wait to (IF) i decide to announce my sobriety, but based on reading what other people write, they always fall off the train...and resort back to posting about getting wasted. first they will be like, 'im never gonna drink again!" then, a month later, 'fuck it im getting wasted tonight!'
see what i mean? dont say anything if you dont mean it! and he says the same thing every week! but then he is drinking 40s! so how can anyone take him seriously? then he ends up reporting from the hospital, where, as he put it, (the nurses here are hot i wish it could be like a brazzers video) SEXIST mysoginst! no respect for women huh? he sees them as sex objects apparently. and these nurses are all so supportive of him. hes like, everyone here is so supportive! of course they will be! they work there! they are going to be supportive! so he msgd me to tell me hes in detox (he has went to the hospital before too)...so i asked him what happened? because really, what happened to cause him to go to the hospital???
he said he needs to change his addictive ways, well fine! then do it! he didnt answer me he was vague, so i was like, 'well dont drink! but each time you go to the hospital because you are hungover, you are racking up hospital bills." then he got mad at me and called me a fucking moron.
who the fuck is he!??? i dont deserve to be called names. i said, do NOT call me names! im not going to sugar coat anything! i asked you why are you in the hospital and you did not answer me! i do NOT need his verbal abuse!
then he says, why should i listen to someone who has 3 duis? (lisa said that to me too)....what? i have my own fucking alchohlism problems i deal with, that doesnt mean what i have to say isnt legit! i know all about alchohlism! i had to take MANY classes on it! and many more yet to come!
im so sick of people being so rude to me all the time! i dont deserve that shit! and a lot of people are like that to me, even ppl i dont know! my self esteem is DAMAGED because of some shit some peice of satanic scumbag did to me! im just gonna say, internet stalking! someone freakin....
made disgusting profiles of me using my liking to all kinds of pathetic sites, dating sites, bbw, milf, swingers etc
FUCK YOU YOU KNOW!?!!?? and then my sister being so rude to me, even mike. mike wants better for me, he does, but i do not need to be called names or anything!
i am DONE!!! ok!?? I DONT NEED THIS SHIT!!!
i need to work on my self!
now they found cancerous cells on my moms thyroid so she needs to do radiation. i dont know how serious radiation is, but its scary. shes going to have to be isolated for four days because of it tho.
deep breath.
i really need everything to start looking up. this is alot of stress. its hard.
oh heres what he wrote to me,,,the thing is, i would tell mike, but rather than mike reassure me and tell me jimmys a dick, he would just...laugh about it
7 hours ago
about an hour ago
then he blocked me. fuck him rude peice of shit going through withdrawals. hell probably msg me in a few days well fuck him! im done with being nice to these assholes
Monday, May 12, 2014
blog post
things to ask my lawyer:
will this be a misdemeanor or a felony? i am worried about putting felony on a job also, what will come up with background checks?
my concern is about getting a job, how will this DUI affect me getting a job? if i go to jail and alchohol classes, won't that take up most of my time?
-the fact is, i am extremely worried about how this is going to affect my life within the next year, at least. I am concerned about fines, and as well as my loss of license. Will I be put on probation? What is probation? Will I be able to get a work release? Will I have to get one of those things to breathe into to start my car?
Why does Miley Cyrus have a big round head? And why is she partying with Kate Moss, who is in her 40s? Here is a pic of Kate Moss.
I used to think she eternally looked young, but you can see the wrinkles setting in. Miley Cyrus is PROGRAMMED! She was in the hospital being programmed, which is why she had that 'octopussy' thing dangling in front of her eye.
They don't get a rest!
im just watching tmz...ugh I had perogies and I feel so nasty. Frozen perogies are frozen processed food. I need to start eating more leafy greens and berries. I need to start eating more healthy and taking care of myself. Yes, I really do want to stop drinking too.
I also want a sexy, summer romance! I used too have sexy, summer romances!!! I miss those times, but those times usually involved drinking too. I just love the summer tho!
Cookouts, country drives, day trips, exploring, motorcycle rides!!???! camping, adventures, drive ins, amusement parks, horseback riding, wine tasting, farmers markets, flea markets, montreal, swimming, FLIRTING!!! i need to feel attraction ya know!??! that really brings my mood up...havent felt that in such a long time :(... ehhh...i wish i could write more, but...nehhh...i need to start working on writing tho. i have a bunch of ideas, including a deal with the devil (story idea)...conjuring up the devil,
you know, i was thinking, whenever these satanists sacrifice babies, or innocent victims, kids, animals etc...little do they know, these innocent babies are GODS BABIES!! these satanists think they are sacrificing babies to satan!??!? or moloch!?? or whoever they think they are!??! to the gods of multiple personality disorder, or DID as they call it (dissociative identity disorder), many heads...many arms, KALI!??! who knows!??? (cuz tmz is arguing about jennifer lawrence being a actors actor. please, jennifer lawrence is so annoying. she appreciates 'the craft' the WITCH craft!! this guy on my facebook is always talking about fraggle Jennifer lawrence. her and her 'aw shucks girl next door' with her tripping and being real programmed tactics/ poor girl, she also has an INFANT alter too!!
with her pedo teddy bear trigger....i think she is programmed to trip and fall, they will program EVERYTHING, their walk, their gestures...its all part of the facade.
these perogies are making my tum tum hurt now :(
like i was saying, these babies go back to GOD when they are 'sacrificed' and actually , the satanists who are doing the sacrificing, are actually the ones SACRIFICING THEMSELVES!!! they will end up in ETERNAL HELL! with their lord masters, as one of satans BITCHES!
what about someone who was raised this way tho? who does not know any better? like peaches geldof? she was part of the OTO? but she must of been a slave since she was a kid!?? right??
i think everyone has the chance to make a choice, but they make the wrong choice because they are threatened to be killed off. i am sure, perhaps, that is why some people may be killed off, but it also complies with spiritual ascendents, latitude and longitude and degrees of the stars, occult numerology etc...its part of a ritual.
there is a lot i do not understand, obviously. and i am sure i sound like a nutso....just writing this stuff...sigh...
my stomach hurts now. i am eating so terribly. this is another reason leading up to my depression. eating very poorly, and not taking medication for my thyroid. not exercising either. i am depressed because of alot of reasons!
i wonder when, if i will ever start feeling better? more normal? when/if i will ever start working to further myself....i mean, i want a good job, you know, but i also want to write. i do have some interesting ideas.
i want to meet someone too, and have kids too....you know?
wth!?? anyways....its so nice out now!! but my tummy hurts. damn perogies.
will this be a misdemeanor or a felony? i am worried about putting felony on a job also, what will come up with background checks?
my concern is about getting a job, how will this DUI affect me getting a job? if i go to jail and alchohol classes, won't that take up most of my time?
-the fact is, i am extremely worried about how this is going to affect my life within the next year, at least. I am concerned about fines, and as well as my loss of license. Will I be put on probation? What is probation? Will I be able to get a work release? Will I have to get one of those things to breathe into to start my car?
Why does Miley Cyrus have a big round head? And why is she partying with Kate Moss, who is in her 40s? Here is a pic of Kate Moss.
They don't get a rest!
im just watching tmz...ugh I had perogies and I feel so nasty. Frozen perogies are frozen processed food. I need to start eating more leafy greens and berries. I need to start eating more healthy and taking care of myself. Yes, I really do want to stop drinking too.
I also want a sexy, summer romance! I used too have sexy, summer romances!!! I miss those times, but those times usually involved drinking too. I just love the summer tho!
Cookouts, country drives, day trips, exploring, motorcycle rides!!???! camping, adventures, drive ins, amusement parks, horseback riding, wine tasting, farmers markets, flea markets, montreal, swimming, FLIRTING!!! i need to feel attraction ya know!??! that really brings my mood up...havent felt that in such a long time :(... ehhh...i wish i could write more, but...nehhh...i need to start working on writing tho. i have a bunch of ideas, including a deal with the devil (story idea)...conjuring up the devil,
you know, i was thinking, whenever these satanists sacrifice babies, or innocent victims, kids, animals etc...little do they know, these innocent babies are GODS BABIES!! these satanists think they are sacrificing babies to satan!??!? or moloch!?? or whoever they think they are!??! to the gods of multiple personality disorder, or DID as they call it (dissociative identity disorder), many heads...many arms, KALI!??! who knows!??? (cuz tmz is arguing about jennifer lawrence being a actors actor. please, jennifer lawrence is so annoying. she appreciates 'the craft' the WITCH craft!! this guy on my facebook is always talking about fraggle Jennifer lawrence. her and her 'aw shucks girl next door' with her tripping and being real programmed tactics/ poor girl, she also has an INFANT alter too!!
with her pedo teddy bear trigger....i think she is programmed to trip and fall, they will program EVERYTHING, their walk, their gestures...its all part of the facade.
these perogies are making my tum tum hurt now :(
like i was saying, these babies go back to GOD when they are 'sacrificed' and actually , the satanists who are doing the sacrificing, are actually the ones SACRIFICING THEMSELVES!!! they will end up in ETERNAL HELL! with their lord masters, as one of satans BITCHES!
what about someone who was raised this way tho? who does not know any better? like peaches geldof? she was part of the OTO? but she must of been a slave since she was a kid!?? right??
i think everyone has the chance to make a choice, but they make the wrong choice because they are threatened to be killed off. i am sure, perhaps, that is why some people may be killed off, but it also complies with spiritual ascendents, latitude and longitude and degrees of the stars, occult numerology etc...its part of a ritual.
there is a lot i do not understand, obviously. and i am sure i sound like a nutso....just writing this stuff...sigh...
my stomach hurts now. i am eating so terribly. this is another reason leading up to my depression. eating very poorly, and not taking medication for my thyroid. not exercising either. i am depressed because of alot of reasons!
i wonder when, if i will ever start feeling better? more normal? when/if i will ever start working to further myself....i mean, i want a good job, you know, but i also want to write. i do have some interesting ideas.
i want to meet someone too, and have kids too....you know?
wth!?? anyways....its so nice out now!! but my tummy hurts. damn perogies.
ear poison
i want to write an autobiography. i think i am going to have to go to jail for a short amount of time, (what the lawyer told me)...but i am fine with that (street cred!) joke!!! still tho, i do not mind. i did not drink this weekend, but that is fine too! i will get there. yes, still feeling bouts of depression. i wish i can say everything that is bothering me, but i cannot do that. i just need to trust in God. He puts these tests in our way, but it is up to us whether we will let us deter us and make us give up. i will NEVER give up!! EVER!!! i will never allow my spirit to feel defeated, even tho this past week or so i have felt such a defeated numbness, one of which i have NEVER FELT IN MY LIFE! IT WAS LIKE THE DEEPEST OF DEPRESSIONS, not even depressions, like emotions all locked up into a mummifed safe.
it is still there too. i have a choice. i know, i can do something....say something...words are meaningless, and forgettable
today was mothers day. parents had a cookout. lisa matt and adria showed up. i gave adria the shirt and just remained peaceful, happy to see them. i didnt give lisa the letter i worked so hard on 3 weeks ago...you know? im not trying to start trouble. i just want to show that i want to be...i dont know...also i have my own worries too. my dad got me upset because he had to bring up my dui when they were leaving tho!?? its none of their concern! i wish he did not say anything! it was mothers day! not a day for him to bring up my DUI for sympathy! he said bcuz matt was drinking a beer he wanted to make matt think....matts a big boy, 6'5 or something i dont know!??! hes BIG! a beer is not going to affect him. there was no need to bring up my dui.
what else? i do feel lost, but the nice weather today helped me, the warm sun basking on my skin. i was driving, listening to music. that always makes me feel good. i so want to take motorcycle rides this summer. i wish adam would call me. he has a nice bike. i also want
to just....enjoy the summer idk.
i will write more tomorrow.
simpsons had a band, 'ear poison'. lol....
i know the devil is speaking to me, but im not listening! sorry devil! i will NEVER sell MY SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear God, I know that you understand me, and everything I am going through I know that you want the best for me, and I just want to be a good person and live life the way YOU want for me...it is taking a while and i am going through many obstacles, but like i said, i will NEVER give up! thank you God, for not giving up on me. And I pray for my loved ones too. amen
it is still there too. i have a choice. i know, i can do something....say something...words are meaningless, and forgettable
today was mothers day. parents had a cookout. lisa matt and adria showed up. i gave adria the shirt and just remained peaceful, happy to see them. i didnt give lisa the letter i worked so hard on 3 weeks ago...you know? im not trying to start trouble. i just want to show that i want to be...i dont know...also i have my own worries too. my dad got me upset because he had to bring up my dui when they were leaving tho!?? its none of their concern! i wish he did not say anything! it was mothers day! not a day for him to bring up my DUI for sympathy! he said bcuz matt was drinking a beer he wanted to make matt think....matts a big boy, 6'5 or something i dont know!??! hes BIG! a beer is not going to affect him. there was no need to bring up my dui.
what else? i do feel lost, but the nice weather today helped me, the warm sun basking on my skin. i was driving, listening to music. that always makes me feel good. i so want to take motorcycle rides this summer. i wish adam would call me. he has a nice bike. i also want
to just....enjoy the summer idk.
i will write more tomorrow.
simpsons had a band, 'ear poison'. lol....
i know the devil is speaking to me, but im not listening! sorry devil! i will NEVER sell MY SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear God, I know that you understand me, and everything I am going through I know that you want the best for me, and I just want to be a good person and live life the way YOU want for me...it is taking a while and i am going through many obstacles, but like i said, i will NEVER give up! thank you God, for not giving up on me. And I pray for my loved ones too. amen
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