BOYFRIEND COOKS ME BREAKFAST!

i think jason is cute. i think i watch these just to get those 'boyfriend experience' ha! jk im being weird. idk but watching him cook for her, kind of reminds me..i think i vaguely remember having a guy cook for me, or play guitar for me...or just..you know, doing something to impress me. gosh, its been so long. its been so long since i have had a guy do something to make me feel good, do something sweet, flirt, i dont know. mike..hes trying, i guess. but should we keep trying if i dont remember?



(no im not going to watch this whole video..just lost in thoughts i guess)..i need a change. i cant do this anymore. what? cant work at walmart, cant live here, where i hear my neighbor hacking a lung or talking all singsong annoying or joyce talking in that copd ridden lung voice..hacking it up. sorry...i...oh my gosh. i really cant.



im trying! im trying to figure SOMETHING OUT! gosh danget. i just..i cannot continue to do this anymore. plus i really want to just get pregnant. whatever.



i also want to travel. i want to write my stories. oh damnet, i totally forgot to start writing today. shit. also want to try to work on a new youtube channel, maybe make a patreon. idk, so much. feels like im just wasting away.



mike keeps telling me about all these jobs but..well, i dont want to be enslaved into commiting myself to a job when maybe i just want to move the fuck away from here. but having my own child is very important to me and so is getting married.



im also being a goof and watching some youtube before i go to bed LOL

oh about jason, he seems like he would have a 15 year old girl get a crush on him, like he would be someones friend, and she would kind of have a crush on him.

also, i used to get payed with this blog, till i was banned from adsense. im getting more and more youtube subs, but im worried that i wont be able to get payed because i was banned from adsense. i mean, i dont cheat with youtube. im really worried about this issue tho.