yeah i dont have a good title so, today we celebrated my mom and my birthday..(not I...think?) hmm anyways, yeah so...we went to the peruvian restaurant it was good. i have pics on facebook...dont feel like posting them here. why? i get no comments i get no feedback...its just like, yeah ok...whatever..right? :( it was nice. so this friday is the art gallery/free wine at banana factory. this is something i would love to do! what sucks is, i have no friends who would want to celebrate my birthday with me. what sucks more is mike, who keeps telling me, 'no drinking'. im an adult you know, if i want to have wine who cares? i love the summer but to be honest, well....i just want to chill, hang out, drink some drank, listen to some good music, feel the breeze at dusk, my fave time of day. come on is this so hard to accomplish? gosh! im just, i did tell mike i wasnt going to drink anymore. i promised him, but now its like, its my birthday. id like to drink wine at dusk in bethlehem while looking at art. you know? i do not need to be told 'no drinking'...the fun in life seems to be sucked out. i just dont feel inspired. to be honest, sometimes the only things that are keeping me here is marble, and that i live here, i have stuff here....and that i am used to it...but even mike senses that we will not be together much longer...but why? why would that be? it would be because of me! because i get BORED! i get restless! i am a free spirit, i cant be TOLD what i can or cannot do! i just cant, damn! im not going to another IB party, most likely, because im not allowed too. what the hell is that? i cant hang out with my IB pals and buddies? i want to make mike happy, but i cant help but get annoyed at him...and agitated, and sick of being told what i can or cant do!!!! i'd like to enjoy the weekend, but i do not want to be told, 'no drinking' like im a kid. im an adult! and now i cant hang out with friends because i lied too many times? i just got home, the first weekend his dad came up and we didnt do anything fun! last wknd mike had to work saturday, so yeah i went out. i mean, you know why i did...i dont know? :/ i didnt have to go out either, i shouldnt of...bcuz due to that, now i cant even drink...slightly my problem bcuz i was hungover due to shots of soco...and i told mike i would not drink i dont have to drink i went to the family get together i still felt drunk and kind of weird..(it eventually wore off tho)....but yeah....so last saturday i didnt, i was at my familys all day mike went to your welcome inn tho, i didnt...so now this wknd is coming up, my birthday wknd nonetheless, and mike is gonna tell me i cant drink and if i can find a friend to go out with, well, im SOL because im not going to be allowed to anyways bcuz i need to redeem myself....
this is NOT how i pictured my life to be!!!! sorry to sound so miserable and bitter, i just...i dont know anymore. my lust for life has withered away...it is no longer existent. things are lame now, boring...i am supposed to just disappear, me and this here blog, into the clammy pits of the interwebz....the swamps of sadness...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
WHY!!???!
why is this girl trying to get big belly bloat??? and people are encouraging her!?? i just..do not get it!??
http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=QMVLAcOi8Ko
http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=QMVLAcOi8Ko
binge eating
i was watching this show about binge eating...what i do not understand is, how do they get thin by eating so much!? and how can they keep eating? i know its a psychological disease, as is anorexia...i just...i cant comprehend how someone can eat so much? look at this little girl in the video, she ate all that??? i believe there is a comfort in just going crazy and eating as much as you possibly can stuff in your belly, and then hopefully puking/purging it all out...ughh....sad...
Kim K's ASS!!!
ugh, i want to post this on facebook, and ask if they think her butt looks good...cuz uh, it DOES NOT look good! it looks so odd, i mean, becky! its not even hot, big butt its just...dumpy looking, like assy mcgee LOL, of course, guys will be like, 'yeah it looks good'...what!?? no! shes got DUMPS IN THE TRUNK! LITERALLY! DUMPS!!!!
LOOK!!!
http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/31/kim-kardashian-ass-big-video/
(FUNNY TMZ COMMENTS)
This looks like a rear view of the Pumpkin King from Tim Burton´s "A Nightmare Before Christmas"
LOOK!!!
http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/31/kim-kardashian-ass-big-video/
It is not even a
nicely shaped ass, it's just a big round ball of butt. It's so big she
has to walk like a fat woman. Ain't that a pisser?
Deformed and looks like it's getting worse.
There's no way she thinks her ass looks good. Like the someone posted it looks like she's wearing a diaper.
Looks like 2 Volkswagen Beetles going down the road trying to bump each other off the road.
((its true))
What's funny is
she (and the TMZ staff) thinks her ass looks good and Kanye thinks he
has the hottest girl out there when really her ass makes her look like a
freak show and Kanye is now stuck with gonorrhea and herpes.
i googled paris hilton butt and, hilarious!!! a link to a youtube video came up, paris hilton perfect ass slideshow! SPITTING My SOda out!! what perfect ass!??? HA!!!
you want to see nice ass? this pinterest pin whatever, has them..
sigh...i wish i had a nice ass....>:(
i need to tone up...i dont know...who cares!???!
call me, maybe??? SHRUG!!!!
ugh im still shaking my head, what is the popularity of that song, and WHYYYY must everyone make a youtube video of them singing it!??! ITS SO STUPID!!! (i deleted the last post i made because i just dont want to post about things i feel innappropriate, albeit funny...but tomorrow is my bday and i just dont want to post about things like that anymore...you know?) well anyways...hmm....alright i need a game plan!!!!!
heys
Hey! So, here is the deal...Mike doesn't care one way or the other, whether I choose to stay or not. He is at his wit's end with me, (no, he did not use those terms, I just likened the way it sounded just now. He feels I need to redeem myself, based off my 'lying and cheating', like he constantly likes to remind me. Frankly, I am starting to get sick of it. I do not need to be told constantly that I am a liar and a cheater. Life is too short to be miserable, it really is. Now, I do love Mike, but sometimes things come to a frozen pause, a stoic pause...a pause in the middle of a stoic pond full of frogs! Dead frogs that is, due to its stoic-ness. I just do not feel like putting the energy into bitching it out on the internet, also, I just...it feels like my mind is elsewhere, it feels like Mike and I, both of our mindframes are elsewhere. I want to make it work with Mike, I told him I will prove to him that I love him, etc..but at the same time...i feel my heart and mind is elsewhere, or rather, non-existant...
i just feel, sort of lost. i feel nothing. no excitement, nothing to look forward too really. it does suck. mike works alot, overtime etc...and he sees me as worthless, sitting around doing nothing, not contributing...although i did cook a good dinner tonight, ((on another note, who is this commercial actress who ANNOYS the hell out of me, aside from the bake a salad woman, this one, she is the one who yelled at the bear sheriff cake, now i see her everywhere, in commercials. i always wanted to do a blog post about the actors in commercials...ugh..like the goofy tom hanks lookalike one too))
dinner was shredded chicken thanks to the slow-cooker, i also added lemon juice, chicken broth, seared and flavored chicken with s/p, oregano...whole wheat egg noodles, and sauteed mushrooms with parsely. it was ok.
the point i am trying to make is, i dont want to feel mediocre anymore! i want to feel hot! like a goddess! lol...i want to feel like me! mike doesnt even care to listen to me, oh, i did not even tell him anything from my trip. none of my stories, nothing. its just as if, life doesnt matter. that is just how i feel. ho-hums the word...or, vacant, lacking...lackadasical...metamucil...(that bake a salad lady is also in a metamucil commercial)...
i want to feel whimsical, quizzical, juniper trees and twizzlers...scandalous, omnious, vicarious and deliberate!
ahh, sigh...tsk tsk, i just have no clue...do you?
yesterday we all went to wildwater kingdom and dorney park. i enjoyed it, but i did not take dromamine, so sage wanted me to go on the tilt-a-whirl with her...ok so at first i was fine, we went on a bunch of water stuff at wildwater, one was a big tube where we all fit on, so as we were going down the slide, it surely felt as if it were going to tip and we were all going to fall out to the concrete below. as it spun a corner, it lifted, (where sage and lisa were), so high, and we could see the opening of the slide revealing the ground below, it was awful!!! we also all went on the mouse trap roller coaster, which felt like it would tip over during every corner...egads!
of course, we went on the talon, hydra, caleb and i went on possessed, other free fall, the dominator, (a free fall), lisa caleb and i went on steel force sage did not want to go but she went on the other ones...after a slush and a bite of ice cream my stomach started to hurt...then sage wanted to go on tilt a whirl, like i said, i started to feel very nauseous! at that point, my headache was imminent. last year when mike and i went, i went with a hangover, (not a good idea!), and threw up after the swings. this year the swings were a rather pleasant, comfortable ride, but yeah, i felt sick later and it started to rain anyways. caleb and i went on the water ride, splash mountain probably, and got soaked then stood on the bridge. i was cold, wet, and nauseous by the time the day ended we all left...but im glad i went!
today what did i do? nothing really, cept wallow in how big of a loser i feel like! discovery channel is doing a show, i talked to the producer of that. she is going to call me again tomorrow.
so yeah, :/
i just feel, sort of lost. i feel nothing. no excitement, nothing to look forward too really. it does suck. mike works alot, overtime etc...and he sees me as worthless, sitting around doing nothing, not contributing...although i did cook a good dinner tonight, ((on another note, who is this commercial actress who ANNOYS the hell out of me, aside from the bake a salad woman, this one, she is the one who yelled at the bear sheriff cake, now i see her everywhere, in commercials. i always wanted to do a blog post about the actors in commercials...ugh..like the goofy tom hanks lookalike one too))
dinner was shredded chicken thanks to the slow-cooker, i also added lemon juice, chicken broth, seared and flavored chicken with s/p, oregano...whole wheat egg noodles, and sauteed mushrooms with parsely. it was ok.
the point i am trying to make is, i dont want to feel mediocre anymore! i want to feel hot! like a goddess! lol...i want to feel like me! mike doesnt even care to listen to me, oh, i did not even tell him anything from my trip. none of my stories, nothing. its just as if, life doesnt matter. that is just how i feel. ho-hums the word...or, vacant, lacking...lackadasical...metamucil...(that bake a salad lady is also in a metamucil commercial)...
i want to feel whimsical, quizzical, juniper trees and twizzlers...scandalous, omnious, vicarious and deliberate!
ahh, sigh...tsk tsk, i just have no clue...do you?
yesterday we all went to wildwater kingdom and dorney park. i enjoyed it, but i did not take dromamine, so sage wanted me to go on the tilt-a-whirl with her...ok so at first i was fine, we went on a bunch of water stuff at wildwater, one was a big tube where we all fit on, so as we were going down the slide, it surely felt as if it were going to tip and we were all going to fall out to the concrete below. as it spun a corner, it lifted, (where sage and lisa were), so high, and we could see the opening of the slide revealing the ground below, it was awful!!! we also all went on the mouse trap roller coaster, which felt like it would tip over during every corner...egads!
of course, we went on the talon, hydra, caleb and i went on possessed, other free fall, the dominator, (a free fall), lisa caleb and i went on steel force sage did not want to go but she went on the other ones...after a slush and a bite of ice cream my stomach started to hurt...then sage wanted to go on tilt a whirl, like i said, i started to feel very nauseous! at that point, my headache was imminent. last year when mike and i went, i went with a hangover, (not a good idea!), and threw up after the swings. this year the swings were a rather pleasant, comfortable ride, but yeah, i felt sick later and it started to rain anyways. caleb and i went on the water ride, splash mountain probably, and got soaked then stood on the bridge. i was cold, wet, and nauseous by the time the day ended we all left...but im glad i went!
today what did i do? nothing really, cept wallow in how big of a loser i feel like! discovery channel is doing a show, i talked to the producer of that. she is going to call me again tomorrow.
so yeah, :/
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