so, i will get to the oddball comedy show. we had our VIP passes, and all the while during, we did, in fact, wander around backstage after we said hi to brandon on his bus. first person we see is brody...the host. actually, it was chris hardwick. moss acted like he knew him, flashing some sort of pendant at him. i had no idea what it was but i figured, idk...because chris responded in a way that, well, he recognized this pendant. he said hi, so then, he introduced him to me, and i think he was wearing sunglasses, but he didnt look in my eyes, he sort of looked passed me and gave me a hug or shook my hand, i forget..?? then, we saw moss's friends again, i dont know why moss never wants to wonder into the catering tent tho? thats where you'll spot more comedians!?? and food! yes FOOD!!!! we stood out and i glanced inside and spotted jim gaffigan. i was like, 'thats where they all are'. i would of just wandered in, casually take some food, sit down, look around. thats all!!??!
i had to pee so bad tho, really, so we went where the dressing rooms were and i saw hannibal buress. since i had said hi to him at the festival supreme last year, i said hi again this and that blah...he remembered me and told me the festival supreme is in a few days as well. i made sure to be very friendly and personable. then, i passed chris hardwick again and felt kind of...idk...i think i just felt funny...like a lil idiot with a dumb crush, but not really, just because i blogged about him prior.
we found the bathrooms but they were outside the VIP area, but then moss and i walked back in, i just wanted to hang out there before the show or something, i forget. brandon was still in there. so........we said hi to brody, and we saw chris again, with some girls. his pussy posse!!! ahh!! i wanted to laugh really!! moss flashed the pendant again..and asked for a pic with his embarrassing disposable camera. everytime he asks me to take a pic with it, i feel like they think its part of our shpiel, that we do this on purpose, like a team almost...idk, maybe to stand out or be remembered, but the thing is, I AM NOT IN ON IT! he is the one who keeps using those outdated things! i feel silly taking pictures with them! chris was about to walk away but i was like, 'um, can i take a pic please'. "sure" he said, and handed moss my phone. he proceeded to take a few pics, all of which i looked like a shadowy big head, yet chris looked like a good natured funny guy. then he walked away with his 'PUSSY POSSE' we followed them outside (well we were headed outside too) he guided his pussy posse, i saw him guide them, saying, 'here lets go this way' as they must of walked down some hidden walkway of food vendors, perhaps to the second stage, that we never saw, to watch a fellow comedian? he had three girls with them, one was wearing TIE DIE crop top, short black hair..i forget!?? maybe a bunch of loose crochets and stuff. how do these girls get to be follow ons and hanger ons, or what is the deal? what kind of girl do these people like? or.....wah and blah....im plain, i know. plus i have a bad thing...'oooohhhh something bad'....i havent the funds to obtain a style lately......sorry!
i snapped a pic of his P.P. so i will put it up later!
well, we found our seats and promptly sat down while brody was making some jokes.
ron funches, give or take........ya know!????!
after ron, it was..........hmm......i dont remember!??! i think demetri martin. he was good. i really like when he uses the guitar and harmonica, very sweet and cozy mixed with his interesting 'demetri-isms'. i like him i felt bad that i seemed so sad when i met him, but he doesnt care about that ha! he probably doesn't even rememba!!!
whitney cummings was next. moss was like, 'and shes pretty, which helps'. i stopped to absorb what he just said. hmm, so, she is pretty, so it helps!?? it helps her comedy act!??! i said alot of comediennes can make a few jokes about such a statement....a sexist statement actually! there were a bunch of kids in the front row who got alot of attention that night. she gave them attention, chris hardwick did, and sarah silverman, which lamed everything up a bit. yeah, they are 15 and 16 years old. we know this already. why did these comedians keep asking them their age? and why keep including them? ahh whatever!??
whitney made jokes about 'squirting' but then i read later in this book i am reading, 'monsters and superfreaks', that squirting in porn has been around since the 80s, it is nothing new. and no most women do not squirt, and yes it probably is pee. moss said, 'thats not true, you can train yourself to squirt'. EWWW MOSS!!! he watches too much porn!!!
so.....after whitney cummings....i think.....it was chris hardwick. he was funny. actually maybe hannibal buress. hannibal seems so cool and collected, casual and quiet off stage, (and on eric andre, in which i know him from), on stage he is loud, and brazen! he was funny tho. he had sword swallowers, magicians, flame swallowers, stilt walkers on stage with him. awesome!!!
i should msg when moss laughs, he laughs super loud, sometimes he sort of does this dorky, george mcfly laugh too. he blew up one beach ball, then it was intermission, so we left to go backstage.
i saw jim gaffigan, but moss didn't flash him a pendant or anything...we walked away. i thought about it tho, that would be the only chance to get a picture with him!?? right?? so, i approached him for a picture. moss did his disposable thing and it got kind of awkward and quiet, but jim finally broke the silence by making some sort of joke, and moss said, 'i can feel you thinking of a new routine' (uh, no moss...i dont think....that!??) he then handed me the camera and i was just like, "see, the thing about these cameras is that, its very weird to not see the picture, and it feels strange to have to lift the camera to look through the uh...whatever it is, to take a picture" (well it does!??!)
who knows!?? oh edit! we ran into chris and his P.P. (i felt foolish that i wrote that, because i became worried that he or someone or whatever, read i actually wrote something as cheesy as moss and his cameras, 'pussy posse'!!!
who knows maybe that is why chris had those womens around!!! i just looked at the pic. one girl had blue hair!? really??? mm...blue hair....
anywaze!!!!!!!!!!! i posted the pics to facebook and checked my comments. i saw my dad warned me to delete what rizzo wrote and that it was very rude that he wrote that about his daughter, so i looked and i saw he commented on a pic i posted, calling me a lying cunt bitch. wow!!! i instantly felt a heavy feeling of dread and tears come over me, and i went into a very depressed state of mind. we went back to our seats, and mark maron was now on. as we sat down, i just started silently crying....i was too upset to even enjoy myself.
the strange thing was, at that moment, mark maron made some sort of joke, about APATHY (i was even using that word, being apathetic, or sympathetic, when moss and i were arguing about the art of conversation.i asked if it was apathy or sympathy...) mark maron said something about APATHY, and about making your girl cry or something...why she is crying or whatever...i was like....thats just...a...sort of...interesting thing to hear right now? i wondered if they saw me crying or idk!?? maybe saw rizzo's comment on my fb and somehow knew that would make me cry!??
after a while, i thought of the full extent of things, i mean, i convinced myself that i was special, that i do mean something, and i shook it off, so i can enjoy the show. if he did know somehow, the comedian, than that was nice of him.
sigh....soon after, some ppl were starting to sit next to us. moss said, 'oh look its mr. gropey!' (it was andy gould, rob zombies manager). he sat right next to me.
sarah silverman was next, her making her sarah silverman jokes. i couldn't help but think of her at joan rivers funeral. she made a joke about the movie, 'baby boom', with diane keaton. in the movie, dianes character had to put a thermometer is the babys bum. sarah said, 'when did the baby agree to being in this movie?' and then she joked about how the parents sold their baby for the sake of a movie. the thermomenter in the butt might been something more, abuse...i tried to take note of andy goulds reactions, since rob zombie movies are highly satanic. he just went, 'oh my god' or something...
anyways, after sarah was jim gaffigan. he made a joke about meaning of last names, such as 'singer' if someone was a singer, 'etc etc....'i cant think of anything else, you know what i mean? he said he read what gaffigan is which means anxious and after he learned that he felt more anxious. i thought of my last name..."brown" originally, from ireland, it had an e on the end of it, browne. my grandfather had it dropped because he was sick of being called 'brownie'
jim then made a joke when say, an electrician comes to his house, he tries to stay out the way yet seem important, like he had important things to adhere too, but he didnt. he said he offered the guy some brownies, and then he said hes gonna go sit in the corner, and work on some diarrhea jokes.
brown!!! what do you think of!? brown!??! shit! diarrhea! HA!!! (brown shower, tim and eric billionaire movie. grozzzz!!!)
i laughed tho! it was like the prior (richard pryor) joke was still happening, but just privately directed at me, for me! HA HA HA!!! (or am i reading too much into everything!?? MEH!!!)
i say meh alot....keep that in mind..
louis ck was next. good act. i think he was in the new tornado movie, i saw with my parents and sage. that was a good movie. into the storm. right? wasnt louis ck in that movie??
apple iphone is so annoying!! i cant download to update apps without using my normal email address, it wants me to use my icloud. i dont remember my icloud password! when i have them email to reset, i do, but it still tells me it is not the correct one! it is so utterly, stupid!!!
yawn! its freaking hot outside! oh, back to the show!!!
after it ended, everyone got up and collided in a central gathering of people! so many....people...ugh people......
i saw there was a huge line for the restrooms. moss had to snap up some snipes hanging up on the bathroom doors, so he got in line. i waited amongst the people.
i figured most of the comedians went home or wherever after their set was over. i heard music for the after party. i saw them setting up for it earlier. so we went to the party, i was like, im gonna get a drink, (open bar) but i felt like a hipocrate because i was in line for a drink. idk......what else to do? i can have a drink and be fine. anyways, i saw the flame-eaters, pretty cool. moss gets in to the party and looks around, but he doesnt really get into the spirit of things. he just always looks like he is looking for someone. it was like 11pm. so i followed him to the next room. we saw hannibal again and said hi. he wanted a pic with him.(hannibal the cannibal!!! HUH!!! gasp!! NOW I GET IT!!!) jk
we had some tacos compliments of the taco vendors they used...i saw hannibal and said good tacos!
then we went to sit in the dance room with the go-go dancers to sit down and eat the tacos. then moss got up and i was sitting by myself. i left to go pee again, by that time line was not empty since the masses were long gone.
later, we found the backstage room, full of catered fruits and cupcakes, shrimp etc, and brandon and his girfriend were there, an assistant, and terry, the owner of the verizon amphitheater. i sat and listened to brandon explain moss. he....HA! it was quite funny. moss didnt get to see kacey musgraves the first time. he missed her by a few minutes. brandon went on to explain that someone, im not sure who? moss or brandon, maybe a combo of both, for entertainments sake, invited ron to the cmas. so moss was busy with ron, missing the chance to meet musgraves and give her all the personalized pics he made for her...ala 'big fan' style...
brandon said the pics all said 'i love KM" so she can throw out to her fans. moss and his need to feel appreciated, but hey...hes a 'big fan' :D!!!
brandon explained that moss wanted her to autograph some glossies, and he handed her a RED sharpie, in which her handler said no red sharpies. it might symbolize love of signing in blood, thats what brandon said. moss said in a fast way, "they dont want to sign in red because it means love, and a fan might think that they love them'
im like, 'so is that what were you hoping for? so she could sign in red, then you can think she loves you?" LOL!! its a little.......creepy!??! stalker-like, and even brandon was making jokes like that. later i heard his girlfriend say that, 'they meet a lot of crazy people'. im sure moss heard it, or not. he knows he is not very observant. he likes to talk but he can be clueless.. i have been trying to help him understand to be more observant, and to broaden his horizens. he is difficult and lost in his ways. i gotten into a big argument last night with him. i'll explain later. let me just finish this night for goodness sake!!!
oh so i was sitting around listening to the stories but i also kinda wanted to go to the party, i heard music and what not...so i left and went back in. the one guy gave me his wristband to get in.
i saw andy gould and his assistant and i actually did a shot with him from the ice shooter...it was a honey flavored..something. i said bye he gave me a kiss on the cheek, or the side of the cheek, you know how ppl do. i also had another gin and tonic and walked around saw hannibal talked to him but the gin made me feel loopy so i wasnt really making sense, plus i was tired. i think hannibal thinks im loopy i dont know!? i was talking to one of the girls who swallow swords she had dreadlocks, cool outfit. she made a joke, she seemed cool i was like, that is so cool what you do!!! i also talked to this other dude who was hanging around. reese came around since party was ending and hannibal made some comment..they joked about fighting or getting into it....eek!!! i kept wondering about hannibal since his stage persona is actually quite aggressive!??! when we were leaving tho he gave me a hug and side kiss.
ahh if he thinks im cray so what!? i just miss talking with ppl other than moss...with whom i have spent 3 days on end with NON STOP so any chance to talk to new people is good with me!! aight!??!
so brandon was hinting at his signed bottle of ron rum...of course moss can talk everyones heads off! we spoke with the flame-eater, who works in vegas. i asked if he heard of someone named 'diablo'. he didnt. there was a drunk girl there.
finally we left. tiredness mixed with the effects of a strong drink...i told moss what moss always says about ron..."they dont laugh WITH HIM, they are laughing AT HIM!"
i said bye to brandon and his girlfriend, but i filed away that comment about 'running into crazies' and what not....
moss is another crazy, 'the cable guy' type. well cuz moss told me a joke i guess, he said, "he wanted to meet some girls (before he met his gf) but instead he met me!" he said in a high pitched voice..
see, i want to help moss become more self aware. i understand he wants to stand out, but at the same time..you know, be a bit more...self aware. yeah...
because tbh, its kind of embarrassing for me. and ppl always mistake me for his date, his girlfriend...and well, im not! im his FRIEND! and as his friend, i want to help him!
well that was that day! ill write about the other days later. im hungry! oh btw, that pendant moss kept flashing at chris , was a keychain!!!! from when chris was on a radio station, with dj Cox
synch, when we were talking about that in the car today (cuz moss had ANOTHER keychain, U2 Pop!???! i have no idea!?? i asked about the radio station, just then a truck was in front of us, that said COX on it!))
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
moss-isms
ok, so, i will write about yesterday, and my feeeeeelings...wahhh!!!
first let me re-state, i understand that it looks like i ran out here, running away from responsibilities like a child, but you know what? my mom told me that she is giving lisa and i both 1000.00, well, she was supposed to help me, with bills and all that. and i have been saying time and time again that i feel it is not in the best of interest to come out here. i have continuosly expressed that i in no way felt coming out here was something in my agenda. so yes, i do kind of realize that i look like someone who just runs out here, on someone else's account, but despite what lisa may thinks, moss is nor did he, pay for my way out here, or is he paying for my way home. yes he payed for tickets, (50.00 tim and eric), yesterday HE wanted to go to the oddball show, he bought some jack in the box and sushi. i know it looks strange for me to even be out here! i just want a job! i want to have health insurance. i want my OWN apartment/house. i want to TAKE CARE OF THINGS! and i have mentioned time and time again, that running out here was NOT on my plans, i mean, when and if i decide to come out here, i want it so that i HAVE MONEY!! for one! i have pampered myself for a trip, as most ppl do, i have all my style clothes, not just basic ware, like this time! my outfits that i brought consist of two old navy jeans, a few shirts, workout stuff (since moss told me to bring them since we would be working out but it doesnt seem like that has worked out!??!) idk,
doesnt moss understand? he is making me look like an irresponsible fool? no i dont care what others think about me, but i really need to get my life on track!! see, moss thinks he has his best interest for me. um...coming out here to fuck around is not my best interest! its was i told myself that i do not want to do!
not when i dont have money! not when i am physically and mentally a mess! not when i dont have a fun travel companion, (friend or boyfriend)...you know? i mean, now is NOT the time to run out on a trip, especially somewhere i dont feel like being! new orleans, to me, would be a nice trip! thailand, japan, italy, ireland...but why would i choose to come here? i even told moss, to tell c. hardwick someone thought he was cute, but i realize that would be really stupid and pointless.....i dont even care anymore!
so, join me, once again, on a quick read into the mind of poison, or Lori, or 'brown' or whatever it is that i am!??! shit! i suppose! im shit!
alright, so, it turned out exactly how i knew it would!!! HA!!!!
moss had his gym in the morning, so i woke up and did my thing, blogging that blog i kept editing etc. hope someone enjoyed it or whatever!??!? he brought back some jack in the box tacos, a quick go-to round here...and even a hashed brown, all hashed up and brown...sort of like me, i was all hashed up!!! j/k
all mixed up! dont know what to do! feel like hearing that song now, 311...remember that? memba dat?
(yah so if lisa complains about me being out here, HEH! my mom is giving her some money too so she needs to SHUT UP!!! well cuz they are gonna get me, the big kid who cant buy myself a ticket outta here, or ever grow up! plane tick to go home.)
im just a big kid, with a dum dum brain, because....im easy come easy go...blah blah blah (that song......by queen)
at least that is what ppl think of me as. also, despite hashtagging sober saturdays, sadly i had a drink or two. i'll explain later...(so what than? im a HYPO-crite and a liar too!??!)
(i am going to do a run-down of the comedians and what i thought of them now)
anyways, i had taken a shower and what not..nothing special. show was in irvine, so we got there to see the show. lets see lets see...first comedian was ron funches...i didnt really think he was funny..he was smoking blunts and throwing out condoms, and he had entertaining peeps in the background.....idk....
oh yes brody stevens was the host, him too making jokes and stuff in between...
after ron, oh yeah forgot to mention, OHHHH YEAHHHHH hang on!
so irvine is kind of far, so we got there. moss was not on the VIP list, but luckily his guy John Reese was there, who said it was ok to let us through and confirmed
so we parked and walked up , well, he sauntered, up to the booth and they told moss no he is not on the list!?? he then was pointed to go to the next place, john said he was on the list...at the other booth, but he wasnt on that one either. i joked he is a V.U.P. (very UNimportant person) well he made that joke he said he feels the opposite of a VIP
wow! i cant type!!! this laptop is acting up!??! and it just highlighted and deleted. its so slow i cant see what i am typing and pages keep popping up. it is very hard for me to concentrate on this blog.
i said moss demands one sided conversations. meaning, he has a lot to say, but when i say something, he doesnt respond, at all..
he used to do this and i just filed it away as to never say anything, and let him speak. but that is not how friendships should be. that is not how conversations should be! you listen, you comment...you trade exchanges etc, you communicate!
geez it is so hard and weird...also, and i will get into this later as well, you have to be a different person to different people..(especially celebrities, but i will get to that later)
sage txted me about sia, she likes the song chandelier, but she questioned me about sias odd behaviour and the video, so i gave her my opinion, without scaring her with the whole "MK" aspect. i said it is a good song, sage said sia wants her identity hid. she said the video is weird. i told her it was supposed to be about alcohlism but it strange how they chose the girl from dance moms to represent alcoholism. maybe her chaotic form of dancing reps the highs and lows of alcohlism..??? i seem to not know how to spell it!?? alcohlism!?? ah so what!??! i never spellcheck!??! ahh! i just did!! alcohlism...whatever!??? so sage asked me about it i said i think what she wore was inappropriate...(spellcheck again!! YAY!) i did not say it looks like a pedos dream..she asked what sias problem is i said idk could be dissociative identity disorder..?? (sia has to stand facing a corner while she performs)....anyways, i told moss i was texting sage and he keeps telling me to say hi to her, what is sages number (he had it to tell her he met bieber but she dont care about j biebs anymore), in other wards, he kept talking despite me trying to txt with sage, who never txts me! she did this morning too...i was trying to focus on what sage was saying, not all the things moss kept asking about. i mentioned to moss what we were texting about, sia and DID and all that, and he just kind of, not said a thing...even tho earlier he was telling me stuff, links to links! (he says linkin park concert alot, he also says sugar alot) when talking about diets, he quotes, 'no bread, no pasta, no sugar...' forget what else he says. thats a silly way to go about things. for one, its easy to avoid 'sugar'...if you cook yourself, no processed crap, and just avoid the sugar jar!! who eats 'sugar' anyways!??? bread i say rye toast is fine!?!??! whole wheat pasta once in a while, fine!!!
i read alot of health magazines so i know a bit about nutrition and tips etc...vitamins what not
but see, he started telling me a story, about this building in the distance, something about how they have it in chicago and people run up the stairs...it took me a moment for my brain to process something that wasnt even on my mind!??! um..ok!?? but since he never says anything when i tell him something of substance, or whatever it may be, i did the same thing he does to me. i did not reply, i did not even acknowledge the fact that he was telling me about some building. i changed the subject to talk about potatoes!??! i said, 'do you know they have purple potatoes!?" (silence, on my part)..him, "no i didnt"
me, "yes they are very healthy"
then after i told him, did you like that i didnt even acknowledge what you just told me, about the building??
because that is what you do to me.
he took this as an insult and started spurting, 'lori be nice to be'-esque things, "i AM listening!" he would squeak..."i AM! I AM I AM!" almost like a child having a tantrum. i boldly exclaimed to him, "Do not speak to me like that!"
geez its so hard to get through to him without him getting insulted!!!
shit!! it all got deleted!!!
shit shit shit i was saying how moss........ughh why does this do this!??
i said moss-isms
damnet!!! i just made that word up...shit shit shit why did it have to highlight and delete!?!?
i was saying how i just made up a term moss-ism i said moss says linkin park concert alot and sugar..
oh yeah bout the sugar thing! ah i will get back it to later..
a moss-ism is a story that he randomly starts out of nowhere, something he relates to on tv, a show or a football team, or a building he sees in the distance...a song on the radio..something he desperately needs to connect with for the sense of relevency. (jk who knows maybe tho)
this is what was deleted, "I am listening!" yes, you may be listening..
"I am listening I AM listening, I am listening!" he started squeaking i a child-like manner, feeling as if i am insulting him.
"i am listening its as simple as that!"
Yes you are listening, but thats just it! Its simple because it is TOPICAL! you are listening, but it is not processing, which is why it is simple! you are only thinking of the next thing that YOU are going to say!"
I tried to explain to him, he talks and talks and talks, and wants ppl to listen to him, yet when i say something, he doesnt even acknowledge that he listened. he talks about ron alot, but i think he does what ron does to him. and moss tells me i treat him the way mike treats me...well, i think moss does the things that he accuses ron of doing to me. i dont feel like getting into all that tho...
he got upset and thought i was criticizing him but i said ok i have an ego too! when i say something, i want to make sure i am heard! it was getting nowhere. he kept saying, "i yam who i yam,' ala popeye style...
when the paragraph deleted, i was saying how he just walked through the door with the happy meal. he made the same joke that he did yesterday, about forgetting jack in the box. so i was typing how that is a 'moss-ism'...then he sees me typing and said, 'lori you type so fast you really should get a job in computers'
i was typing about his 'moss-isms'. later, when he was telling me another story, oh how his dentists son was getting drafted into the NFL, i admitted to him what i was writing, so he advised me, "thats fine, but it would be nice for you to write about all the good things i do for you! how i take you to the tim and Aric...yadda yadda' yes, but on MY terms! i hate when ppl suggest how i should think!
this is getting boring..i need to find cheap tickets to the simpsons do the bowl tonight!
moss keeps talking...well we were talking
anyways this topic is getting boring lets move on to the oddball fest.
so it was like a runaround for moss, sort of funny and amusing, to see moss get all rallied up over not being on the VIP list, and he spotted john again and gave him a check for his wife's charity, or the brother, dogs home from afghanistan or iraq, puppies servicemen, puppy rescue mission..military dog? puppy rescue mission, and john and kevin lymans charity, event to event (i think? i didnt type it at first because i wrote his wifes charity), so he gave him the check and he handed us the laminates and tickets, i just asked him for the ticket and he did a 'moss-ism' 'maybe, if your nice to me'...or, 'i might keep it'...
oh yeah i overheard a girl mention an after-party....i dont like feeling like i am following moss around tho, thinking that maybe everyone knows what i write and blog about...or maybe my delusional lonely self wants to think ppl give a shit about me...
so we had our vip laminates, i posted a pic of it...more on that later...
so we go through the VIP entry, immersed amongst dudes in plaids and hats, girls with dresses...moss was wearing a new wash of jean for him, and a tucked in dressy black button down. i was wearing tight style jeans (not boyfriend cut :( old navy had boyfriend cut but they were cut off capri style) and my new york city shirt, showing off the hint of belly i developed thanks to eating bad food and not exercising......
we looked for his friend backstage. i heard moss talk about his friend in such good terms, he seemed like he would be a good natured guy and all that.....so we found his bus and we passed the blonde daughter of a VIP (i guess one of the main guys daughters)...im not gonna ask moss now, like i did about the charity and tried to write it as word for word as possible...upon entering the bus, the smell of alcoholic beverages wafted out...and everyone seemed a bit tipsy, including his friend and his girl, and the other girl who was talking to them. it felt like how it would be...where i felt judged...maybe a tinge of paranoia wondering if they know i blog about my experiences, and if so.....the one girl seemed to look at me as if i was......idk....what else should i do while standing there, while everyone is imbibing. moss said i can get a drink but they seemed to of said no or something?!?! yeah yeah, sober saturdays and shit....
agendas....i kind of felt a tinge of cringe as moss felt he was in the limelight as he told a story....the story of moss, ron, picking up ron from the airport with brandon, (brandons the manager of a slew of concert venues in arizona, which moss had flown out to to meet and greet with his celebrity crush, kacey musgraves. brandon has good pull and good connections, he later told more stories more on that later)
moss either chooses to be oblivious or he is when he tells his story, (jim carreys character in dumb and dumber when he fantasizes about impressing her family, fart jokes and all, cept moss doesnt talk about fart jokes.but he was talking about kacey musgraves)
moss grew up with only two channels, so while he is a bit older than me, he never grew up with nick jr, neverending story, labyrinth (which i seem to be referencing alot), peewee, all those things, he never even did mIRC (he asked me how old i was when i started using the internet later..???)
anyways, i couldnt try to attempt to chill due to a full bladder, but while moss couldnt care less about how he projected himself, i felt very awkward...standing there. sometimes moss would say something about me that i didnt even know, like 'lori knows CPR" huh what!??! i mean, i do, i was trained in the army...but he makes it seem like him and i are like peas and carrots, two peas in a pod! jennay!
ill be back! the comedy shows will be above post bye i need a break!!!!
first let me re-state, i understand that it looks like i ran out here, running away from responsibilities like a child, but you know what? my mom told me that she is giving lisa and i both 1000.00, well, she was supposed to help me, with bills and all that. and i have been saying time and time again that i feel it is not in the best of interest to come out here. i have continuosly expressed that i in no way felt coming out here was something in my agenda. so yes, i do kind of realize that i look like someone who just runs out here, on someone else's account, but despite what lisa may thinks, moss is nor did he, pay for my way out here, or is he paying for my way home. yes he payed for tickets, (50.00 tim and eric), yesterday HE wanted to go to the oddball show, he bought some jack in the box and sushi. i know it looks strange for me to even be out here! i just want a job! i want to have health insurance. i want my OWN apartment/house. i want to TAKE CARE OF THINGS! and i have mentioned time and time again, that running out here was NOT on my plans, i mean, when and if i decide to come out here, i want it so that i HAVE MONEY!! for one! i have pampered myself for a trip, as most ppl do, i have all my style clothes, not just basic ware, like this time! my outfits that i brought consist of two old navy jeans, a few shirts, workout stuff (since moss told me to bring them since we would be working out but it doesnt seem like that has worked out!??!) idk,
doesnt moss understand? he is making me look like an irresponsible fool? no i dont care what others think about me, but i really need to get my life on track!! see, moss thinks he has his best interest for me. um...coming out here to fuck around is not my best interest! its was i told myself that i do not want to do!
not when i dont have money! not when i am physically and mentally a mess! not when i dont have a fun travel companion, (friend or boyfriend)...you know? i mean, now is NOT the time to run out on a trip, especially somewhere i dont feel like being! new orleans, to me, would be a nice trip! thailand, japan, italy, ireland...but why would i choose to come here? i even told moss, to tell c. hardwick someone thought he was cute, but i realize that would be really stupid and pointless.....i dont even care anymore!
so, join me, once again, on a quick read into the mind of poison, or Lori, or 'brown' or whatever it is that i am!??! shit! i suppose! im shit!
alright, so, it turned out exactly how i knew it would!!! HA!!!!
moss had his gym in the morning, so i woke up and did my thing, blogging that blog i kept editing etc. hope someone enjoyed it or whatever!??!? he brought back some jack in the box tacos, a quick go-to round here...and even a hashed brown, all hashed up and brown...sort of like me, i was all hashed up!!! j/k
all mixed up! dont know what to do! feel like hearing that song now, 311...remember that? memba dat?
(yah so if lisa complains about me being out here, HEH! my mom is giving her some money too so she needs to SHUT UP!!! well cuz they are gonna get me, the big kid who cant buy myself a ticket outta here, or ever grow up! plane tick to go home.)
im just a big kid, with a dum dum brain, because....im easy come easy go...blah blah blah (that song......by queen)
at least that is what ppl think of me as. also, despite hashtagging sober saturdays, sadly i had a drink or two. i'll explain later...(so what than? im a HYPO-crite and a liar too!??!)
(i am going to do a run-down of the comedians and what i thought of them now)
anyways, i had taken a shower and what not..nothing special. show was in irvine, so we got there to see the show. lets see lets see...first comedian was ron funches...i didnt really think he was funny..he was smoking blunts and throwing out condoms, and he had entertaining peeps in the background.....idk....
oh yes brody stevens was the host, him too making jokes and stuff in between...
after ron, oh yeah forgot to mention, OHHHH YEAHHHHH hang on!
so irvine is kind of far, so we got there. moss was not on the VIP list, but luckily his guy John Reese was there, who said it was ok to let us through and confirmed
so we parked and walked up , well, he sauntered, up to the booth and they told moss no he is not on the list!?? he then was pointed to go to the next place, john said he was on the list...at the other booth, but he wasnt on that one either. i joked he is a V.U.P. (very UNimportant person) well he made that joke he said he feels the opposite of a VIP
wow! i cant type!!! this laptop is acting up!??! and it just highlighted and deleted. its so slow i cant see what i am typing and pages keep popping up. it is very hard for me to concentrate on this blog.
i said moss demands one sided conversations. meaning, he has a lot to say, but when i say something, he doesnt respond, at all..
he used to do this and i just filed it away as to never say anything, and let him speak. but that is not how friendships should be. that is not how conversations should be! you listen, you comment...you trade exchanges etc, you communicate!
geez it is so hard and weird...also, and i will get into this later as well, you have to be a different person to different people..(especially celebrities, but i will get to that later)
sage txted me about sia, she likes the song chandelier, but she questioned me about sias odd behaviour and the video, so i gave her my opinion, without scaring her with the whole "MK" aspect. i said it is a good song, sage said sia wants her identity hid. she said the video is weird. i told her it was supposed to be about alcohlism but it strange how they chose the girl from dance moms to represent alcoholism. maybe her chaotic form of dancing reps the highs and lows of alcohlism..??? i seem to not know how to spell it!?? alcohlism!?? ah so what!??! i never spellcheck!??! ahh! i just did!! alcohlism...whatever!??? so sage asked me about it i said i think what she wore was inappropriate...(spellcheck again!! YAY!) i did not say it looks like a pedos dream..she asked what sias problem is i said idk could be dissociative identity disorder..?? (sia has to stand facing a corner while she performs)....anyways, i told moss i was texting sage and he keeps telling me to say hi to her, what is sages number (he had it to tell her he met bieber but she dont care about j biebs anymore), in other wards, he kept talking despite me trying to txt with sage, who never txts me! she did this morning too...i was trying to focus on what sage was saying, not all the things moss kept asking about. i mentioned to moss what we were texting about, sia and DID and all that, and he just kind of, not said a thing...even tho earlier he was telling me stuff, links to links! (he says linkin park concert alot, he also says sugar alot) when talking about diets, he quotes, 'no bread, no pasta, no sugar...' forget what else he says. thats a silly way to go about things. for one, its easy to avoid 'sugar'...if you cook yourself, no processed crap, and just avoid the sugar jar!! who eats 'sugar' anyways!??? bread i say rye toast is fine!?!??! whole wheat pasta once in a while, fine!!!
i read alot of health magazines so i know a bit about nutrition and tips etc...vitamins what not
but see, he started telling me a story, about this building in the distance, something about how they have it in chicago and people run up the stairs...it took me a moment for my brain to process something that wasnt even on my mind!??! um..ok!?? but since he never says anything when i tell him something of substance, or whatever it may be, i did the same thing he does to me. i did not reply, i did not even acknowledge the fact that he was telling me about some building. i changed the subject to talk about potatoes!??! i said, 'do you know they have purple potatoes!?" (silence, on my part)..him, "no i didnt"
me, "yes they are very healthy"
then after i told him, did you like that i didnt even acknowledge what you just told me, about the building??
because that is what you do to me.
he took this as an insult and started spurting, 'lori be nice to be'-esque things, "i AM listening!" he would squeak..."i AM! I AM I AM!" almost like a child having a tantrum. i boldly exclaimed to him, "Do not speak to me like that!"
geez its so hard to get through to him without him getting insulted!!!
shit!! it all got deleted!!!
shit shit shit i was saying how moss........ughh why does this do this!??
i said moss-isms
damnet!!! i just made that word up...shit shit shit why did it have to highlight and delete!?!?
i was saying how i just made up a term moss-ism i said moss says linkin park concert alot and sugar..
oh yeah bout the sugar thing! ah i will get back it to later..
a moss-ism is a story that he randomly starts out of nowhere, something he relates to on tv, a show or a football team, or a building he sees in the distance...a song on the radio..something he desperately needs to connect with for the sense of relevency. (jk who knows maybe tho)
this is what was deleted, "I am listening!" yes, you may be listening..
"I am listening I AM listening, I am listening!" he started squeaking i a child-like manner, feeling as if i am insulting him.
"i am listening its as simple as that!"
Yes you are listening, but thats just it! Its simple because it is TOPICAL! you are listening, but it is not processing, which is why it is simple! you are only thinking of the next thing that YOU are going to say!"
I tried to explain to him, he talks and talks and talks, and wants ppl to listen to him, yet when i say something, he doesnt even acknowledge that he listened. he talks about ron alot, but i think he does what ron does to him. and moss tells me i treat him the way mike treats me...well, i think moss does the things that he accuses ron of doing to me. i dont feel like getting into all that tho...
he got upset and thought i was criticizing him but i said ok i have an ego too! when i say something, i want to make sure i am heard! it was getting nowhere. he kept saying, "i yam who i yam,' ala popeye style...
when the paragraph deleted, i was saying how he just walked through the door with the happy meal. he made the same joke that he did yesterday, about forgetting jack in the box. so i was typing how that is a 'moss-ism'...then he sees me typing and said, 'lori you type so fast you really should get a job in computers'
i was typing about his 'moss-isms'. later, when he was telling me another story, oh how his dentists son was getting drafted into the NFL, i admitted to him what i was writing, so he advised me, "thats fine, but it would be nice for you to write about all the good things i do for you! how i take you to the tim and Aric...yadda yadda' yes, but on MY terms! i hate when ppl suggest how i should think!
this is getting boring..i need to find cheap tickets to the simpsons do the bowl tonight!
moss keeps talking...well we were talking
anyways this topic is getting boring lets move on to the oddball fest.
so it was like a runaround for moss, sort of funny and amusing, to see moss get all rallied up over not being on the VIP list, and he spotted john again and gave him a check for his wife's charity, or the brother, dogs home from afghanistan or iraq, puppies servicemen, puppy rescue mission..military dog? puppy rescue mission, and john and kevin lymans charity, event to event (i think? i didnt type it at first because i wrote his wifes charity), so he gave him the check and he handed us the laminates and tickets, i just asked him for the ticket and he did a 'moss-ism' 'maybe, if your nice to me'...or, 'i might keep it'...
oh yeah i overheard a girl mention an after-party....i dont like feeling like i am following moss around tho, thinking that maybe everyone knows what i write and blog about...or maybe my delusional lonely self wants to think ppl give a shit about me...
so we had our vip laminates, i posted a pic of it...more on that later...
so we go through the VIP entry, immersed amongst dudes in plaids and hats, girls with dresses...moss was wearing a new wash of jean for him, and a tucked in dressy black button down. i was wearing tight style jeans (not boyfriend cut :( old navy had boyfriend cut but they were cut off capri style) and my new york city shirt, showing off the hint of belly i developed thanks to eating bad food and not exercising......
we looked for his friend backstage. i heard moss talk about his friend in such good terms, he seemed like he would be a good natured guy and all that.....so we found his bus and we passed the blonde daughter of a VIP (i guess one of the main guys daughters)...im not gonna ask moss now, like i did about the charity and tried to write it as word for word as possible...upon entering the bus, the smell of alcoholic beverages wafted out...and everyone seemed a bit tipsy, including his friend and his girl, and the other girl who was talking to them. it felt like how it would be...where i felt judged...maybe a tinge of paranoia wondering if they know i blog about my experiences, and if so.....the one girl seemed to look at me as if i was......idk....what else should i do while standing there, while everyone is imbibing. moss said i can get a drink but they seemed to of said no or something?!?! yeah yeah, sober saturdays and shit....
agendas....i kind of felt a tinge of cringe as moss felt he was in the limelight as he told a story....the story of moss, ron, picking up ron from the airport with brandon, (brandons the manager of a slew of concert venues in arizona, which moss had flown out to to meet and greet with his celebrity crush, kacey musgraves. brandon has good pull and good connections, he later told more stories more on that later)
moss either chooses to be oblivious or he is when he tells his story, (jim carreys character in dumb and dumber when he fantasizes about impressing her family, fart jokes and all, cept moss doesnt talk about fart jokes.but he was talking about kacey musgraves)
moss grew up with only two channels, so while he is a bit older than me, he never grew up with nick jr, neverending story, labyrinth (which i seem to be referencing alot), peewee, all those things, he never even did mIRC (he asked me how old i was when i started using the internet later..???)
anyways, i couldnt try to attempt to chill due to a full bladder, but while moss couldnt care less about how he projected himself, i felt very awkward...standing there. sometimes moss would say something about me that i didnt even know, like 'lori knows CPR" huh what!??! i mean, i do, i was trained in the army...but he makes it seem like him and i are like peas and carrots, two peas in a pod! jennay!
ill be back! the comedy shows will be above post bye i need a break!!!!
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Tim and Eric, etc
Hiya! Ushhhhhhhhhh!!! So!!!! hmm...:/guess I willl write about the day yesterday!!??!? yeah? yeah! So, I kept waking up because the air conditioning would shut off, and even tho I had put the fan on, it was really quiet, so it would all of a sudden be extremely quiet, therefore, waking me up!! I also heard noises which sounded like pigeons scratching around in the fireplace.
Then Moss stirs and awakens, so I decide to turn on his tv. At least now he has this really nice, big flatscreen. He still has columns of cds and piles of books and magazines lined up on the floors, with a sheen coating of dust on them and the surrounding floors, but for the most part, the coffee table is not cluttered. He starts barking a bunch of things we are going to do for the day. I blankly nod, eyes glazed over and feeling the beginning stages of hunger set in.
"We are going to try to go the free clinic so you can get your pill." I tried to explain to him, "I am going to need bloodwork", but I just zoned out once again. He mentioned sushi, (he always does sushi for lunch of Fridays)...and that sounded good to me!
Well, I took a brief shower...oh, I was not able to bring shampoo/conditioner; I figured I would get it at CVS, but for the time being, Moss said he had that stuff. So, I was in the shower, and I see that Moss has loads and loads of shampoo, but thats it! Shampoo! Mini shampoos, saved from all the hotels he has been to in Las Vegas, collections of complimentary shampoos, from Hard Rock, to Luxor, to where else he has gathered these shampoos from. No conditioner tho, just shampoos. Even tons of big size shampoos. White rain, medicated shampoos in skinny, medicine pink bottles, and other shampoo. He also has some kind of square bar of soap. (I am going to have to go to CVS and stock up on toiletry essentials soon). I am happy to be here tho. Might as well get excited to here, I suppose. I mean, I am getting a brief break from 'the crazy, high maintenance personality of Moss' (he says he is high maintenance, to which I have tried to explain to him that he is not 'high maintenance', in fact that term mainly is used to describe a woman, who needs her hair and make-up done up divinely, every day. Oh, hes at the gym, hence the break.Oh yeah, I am not sure why Moss doesnt use conditioner because he has longish hair i told him he should keep it maneagable...
Back to the day, when we were all ready to go, (I just put on some denims and a grey shirt, I really do not have nice clothes. I hardly brought any, tbh!!!), we left...um, so...first stop was the walk-in clinic Moss goes too. I thought we were going to wait in the main waiting room, but I saw Moss in that world where he is scheming something, cooking something up. The sign outside said no walk-ins. Before we 'walked in', he was muttering about me still having the files for my California ID, even tho I am assuming that ID has long since expired!?? I saw him flit away to the stairwell, and he motioned me over, so I went near to him, but he was sort of whispered/spoke really fast, "follow me," and he was leading up the stairwell. "Oh!?" i thought he just...was going to tell me something!???
We went upstairs and he went to talk to someone behind the desk up there, with a kind of look of irritation on his face. He explained to them I really need to get my medication, but they just lead us back to the original waiting room downstairs. I'm not sure what exactly Moss was thinking by usurping the first waiting room, but I can only gather that he figured if we made it to the next step, that would help me getting seen.
When we went back downstairs, we got in line, (which was relatively small anyways), and I figured, just wait and explain to them that I would like to see them?? Moss sort of squirreled away from the wait line to somehow stand in front of the concerned man in front of us, whom was talking to Taffy, the receptionist. She saw Moss and was like, "can I help you." Odd behavior from Moss confused us all. He had this look of irritation, and he was looking at the floor (it was the no walk in sign, im assuming) i think he expects us to read his mind of despairing desperation of helping his sickly friend in need of a script, then he quickly and quietly mumbled something...(I am not sure why he just didn't approach her and speak clearly and in a bold yet friendly tone, or, just let me explain my case), she didn't hear him and she was like, "can i help you?" so he nodded, still looking irritated, and solemnly and somberly said, "My friend really needs her medication, and you aren't accepting walk-ins, but she really needs her medication", while motioning towards me. She looked at me, I was like, "Oh! I'm as confused as you are!" and laughed. I just meant I was confused at his odd behavior!?? I would of just been like, "hi, is there any chance I can be seen today?" while speaking pleasantly and clearly, not some strange production of somber dire needs, I think Moss was trying to...i have no clue!?? She said that she cant, and I would have to make an appointment, which would take up to two weeks. She than friendlily added, she can give us a paper which she highlighted to other clinics which may take me. Moss asked her name, "Taffy", and he said he has a weird name too easy to remember. When we left he said, 'want to go to Sinai? Its literally within walking distance'. I think he knew none of the highlighted clinics would take me without my having a california id. I was super hungry by that point. (im craving watermelon sweets. yeah im hungry again!!!)
I told him I'm really hungry, but he insisted that we go, so we went!??! I learned it was the ER at Mt. Sinai Cedars whatever. He dropped me off, so I went inside myself and a friendly, sort of pushy volunteer with a friendly demeanor hypnotically lead me to the triage, and the girl there asked me what I was there for. I told her I just needed a refill for meds. Not true, I needed bloodwork done too. Well, they took my info and gave me one of those hospital bracelets, and I found a seat to sit down in and I did, then they called me and had taken my vitals. I asked how long it was going to be altogether she said they would put me on the fast access but it will still take all in all a few hours. Ok thanks!
I walked like a zombie back to the seat and Moss came in, finally. Sat down. I was so hungry. I have no idea why he would once again have us do something without nourishing our hunger first, (not the first time he has done this) i dont know about him, but i cant function without eating and i become very irritable too.
When Moss spoke with my dad the previous day, my dad had seemingly blamed my 'mean and childish, im assuming, or rude behavior' on my thyroid. they always do this when i am only merely arguing a point in a stern voice, since it is hard to cut through loud high pitched voices who think arguing a point is due to a bad thyroid. My dad further re-iterated how important it is that I get my medication. Since Moss always seems to say how easily it is to get scripts refilled, he figured i can just mosey on in to a clinic, but most likely the ER, and get a script. Hunger was arguing with me, as we sat down. I started explaining to moss that i am hungry, and he said we can go get some food while waiting, but they told me i can quickly grab a bite and come back. so long for enjoying a sit down meal of sushi right? So i said to him, "back home, I was in the process of getting my medicaid taken care of, in so that i can have proper medical insurance, and THAN!!! i can find a physician, CALL THEM! SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, then go and get labwork done, rather than sitting in a crowded emergency room, all the way across the country, plus I was hungry as heck! so as usual, i was trying to make this point, and moss retaliated with the high pitched squeaks and Lori I didnt know!! im trying to help you!" and his squeaks made me speak more louder, and some schizo/bipolar type older woman who was sitting in a wheelchair started saying, 'can you argue somewhere else? its making me very uncomfortable'. she seemed like the worrisome, depression sought over, woe is me type, who doesnt understand HUMOR nor probably has in years, her conversations probably only consisted of her health ailments and bipolar disease. PRO-TIP: SMILE AND LAUGH! IT HELPS!!!
anyways, i really had no intention of sitting and waiting, and i knew even once i got in, i would most likely walk out due to hunger taking over, and low patience, and the reality of TIME CONTROL!!! plus I wasnt about to rack up another hospital bill (moss later told me they are going to send me a bill regardless) ughhh!!!
so i figured, "Im leaving!" moss said lori no! your dad says you need your medication! I told him it was because he was trying to blame what he was insinuating was childish behavior on my part, when moss is the one who whines! so i walked out, yelling and shouting in the street about how i had no intention of going to and ER that is not how i do things! i do things like most responsible adults do, making appointments! and i NEVER yell on the streets but moss brings out that side of me!
geegads!!! ya know!!!??!
PART TWO (i have to break up these blog parts into sections)
so, we went to the mall but the food court was being remodeled, so we went to that place in weho or um...forget the name of the street...the place we get sushi at. oh yes forgot to mention, we saw an eric dressed as carol lookalike walk passed us (well i noticed) also, later on i noticed another carol lookalike....hmm i thought to myself...
it was good (i will add pics in a bit)
finally, satiated!
after that was more driving, to pick up posters than put me on the list for the janes addiction and such free concert on sunset blvd. then, he had to go to his beverly hills post office to pick up his mail, while i read dr. drews cracked, (moss always gives me books to read). i had mentioned that i would like to interview ron jeremy, (why not!?) but it would be for my blog, but i doubt ron would want to sit down with me for an interview. moss is right, unless it benefits him, what reason does he have? see, i know ron as our friend, i see him, i say hi to him, i hear ron and moss argue, i know that he is not taking care of himself, but moss gave me his book to read so i would like to interview him more on a glimpse into hollywood times during the 70s and 80s when he reigned as a porn king (i dont know i never saw his porns lol! nor do i care)
alright well, the point is, i would focus on a different era, the porn heyday of LA, now porn is a dying form. oh newsflash! ron is doing a scene with jenna jameson! yes, NOW! (he filmed it last night)
two reigning rainers of porn, king and queen, now sad and old...or whatever idc LOL
THE GYM!!!
so he had to see his trainer at 430, or he would make his trainer highly upset. he said i could get in for a session. anyways, we got there, and moss actually CUT in front of someone, and i even told him, "moss you cut in front of someone". He kind of just furrowed his brow and ordered me to sign the paper, actually, Alejandro did say to sign the guest list, but Moss's furrow of confusion seemed to suggest that I follow him. I was still in shock at how he just cut in front of someone!???!
I don't do things the way he does. I approach whoever is behind the desk, I say hi and explain what I have to, engaging in eye contact and being polite. Isn't that what most people do?
So I went and changed and we went upstairs to do some treadmill. Then we went downstairs he had to get a drink of water from the fountain. His trainer, Charlie, told me I can go upstairs and do cardio if I want but Moss came back , (oh he was lugging around his gym bag but he then handed charlie his keys and wallet to hang onto) then he went to put his bag in the locker since he has no lock.
I kind of felt like Charlie was hinting at me to do cardio, but Moss pays him to be his trainer and he was opting to have me alongside, and it was sort of like a free session as well, on his part, to have me accompany them, so that was cool. He was funny and making jokes, even making fun of moss in a good natured way.
We did reps or arm and ab stuff...throughout the gym. I even did the free style stuff, i was so tired before but i started to wake up after doing all the arm work Moss flitted away to find a fountain (I asked him why he doesnt just bring a water bottle, because charlie left that time, probably when he was talking to the guy at the front desk, alejandro, as he discussed his remorse or whatever, moss being rude. so i was just left standing there, scanning the gym. then i saw a big figure, who was waving. as my eyes adjusted i saw that it was moss, who was waving at me to come over like a woman at sea waves to her husband with a hankie as he sails away. it took me a while to see he was calling me over.
towards the end tho, charlie was upset with moss about the free pass i was granted. i guess moss, (or me?) didnt make a good impression at the counter and they figured, why give a free pass to someone who cannot be friendly and make eye contact?
I figured it out, moss kept saying, "well he didnt ask for her ID"
doesnt matter, charlie had stated, they felt like blah blah blah
he even mentioned rushing through w.out eye contact or saying thank you. i think moss's mentality was thinking, 'quick! rush through before they realize you dont have a california ID!" almost as if we were sneaking in...and you know me, in a constant state of confusion when it comes to how or why moss does the things that he does. charlie told him it is the way he goes about things, he comes off as rude. he does tho!?? moss says it is his personality, but i have seen him plenty of times nod and not make eye contact, already quick to put the other person in a defensive state, (i know if i saw someone like that i would be!?!!)
so i guess moss irritated charlie into walking out on us, ha!?? so......it was kind of awkward but i understand that him and the gym are doing a favor for moss, a client, and him bringing me etc..anyways enough of the gym story. i had someone relay a message to Alejandro that I said thank you for letting me in idk...
blahhhhhh!! oh no! it was 630 already!???! according to the show, it says it starts at 7pm!!! once again, i got upset. moss mossied it up again, by the skin of our bones, we were rushing, and moss doesnt have a smart phone. we had to go back to moss's so that i can recharge my phone somewhat, (was hoping to meet tim and eric and steve brule), and put on makeup. plus moss had to quickly email ppl on craigslist. it was a big rushing game!!!
it was 20 to 7, and we still had to rush to get to the place. on the way there, someone called him. (oh yeah i actually msgd sunshine lee who plays steve brules cousin that he thought was not his cousin, she is easy to get a hold of. she told me that they did not invite her but had she a ride she would of went, so i was like, oh i wish i had known that we would of given you a ride? she said to tell them hi so i said i would. she gave me her number too if there was another chance to go to a show, but they are touring)..no i did not further push her to ask what john c reilly's manager is or anything like that, or to try to get us on a list i just said thank you i will try to tell them hi if i see them! thanks again!
((later i read that tim and eric alumni's david liebe hart and james quall were there, trying to be seen and heard...and james quall actually got escorted out because he was dirty!?? david liebe hart had a booth set up selling merch by the t&e merch, but i did not see him or such merch.))
moss got a phone call, and handed his phone to me so that i can log into his paypal using my phone and pay the guy, (wayne) i later learned his name was "Wayne Lee' ((jan and wayne..sunshine lee? oh!?? hes an asian student at UCLA! gotchya!)
he emailed me the tickets, after much confusion not only charging my phone but navigating around paypal on my iphone and talking to this guy who seemed straightforward as i was talking to moss about not having all this set up in advance.
well, we got there and there was still a line! i suppose they did a 'moss' saying to be there at 7 but show starts at 8!!!
ahh! so we had time, and eric..i mean, tickets..(often i type in tim and eric and i find myself typing time and eric)
we had such good seats! comfy seats, way up front!!! im talking, way up front! i actually was able to opt to sit up closer! in which we did!!! it was comfy, cozy, great seats!! great job! we werent in the back, we werent in the balcony, we were front row!!! our own row! dj dougpound was good, and so was the rest of the show. i did have a beer, tecate with lime...or something i forget, and after tim and eric i had a gin and tonic, which made me feel buzzy and fuzzy but it was like i was within the comforts of home, enjoying the shows via youtube. i think they noticed me sitting there too!?? i hope so! steve brule said 'raisins of poison' and talked about him mom poisoning him, and they had ppl on stage (plants) playing some sort of duck duck goose but brule turned the camera in a way that i saw myself on the big screen and i coughed and i saw my move my hand so they were filming me, well the audience. i felt kind of embarrassed seeing myself up there tho HA!!!
when the show ended i had to pee so bad, and i was in line and i had forgotten how much LA style these girls have, perfectly dyed blonde hair, perfect haircut, perfectly cake-y type dresses, glasses, make-up, tall, model esque lithe types, LA girls...the kinds that frequent the gothic bars and hideaways, chalices and hot spots that are peppered and speckled throughout this city...girls who had other places to make appearances at after the seemingly trendy tim and eric show was over, on to the next thing right?
when i went upstairs, i asked the security guy who helped play with kicking the hacker/audience member/plant out was there, and i asked him if they are coming out. he didnt know. he said sometimes they stand outside. a small gaggle of the audience was gaggled around the merch, buying their drangus gear and what not. i was buzzing due to that gin and tonic, but also tired and ready to call it a night, but also perplexingly hoping to see tim and eric...idk, especially steve brule. i spotted him during the break after t and es show to his spot, while looking for the bathroom. he was in brule gear, and i saw him getting ready to run into the theater. i stopped, feeling like the heckler boy from the simpsons, gawking after mr. burns got shot during that classic episode), while holding my fancy gin n tonic, i muttered, 'oh my god' then i saw him running, i said 'BRULE!"
then i sashayed back to my seat and chose and even closer spot, ready to laugh at brule...instead of hiding away into a cross eyed glaze. i could tell moss wasnt getting into it, he was trying too, with his focused smile, attempting to find humor in this bit, but unless he never watched steve brule or tim and eric, he would never find the comforting familiarity and allure of seeing him on stage, along with peices of the show....
but yeah after the show, i was hanging out, still feeling as if it was occurring, but i could see moss was ready to go, as most of the audience had dispersed as well. t and e sometimes head out into the fans, but out here in LA, most have other things to do, while leaving after laughing it up. guys all sport flannels or plaid, beards, glasses, simple little boy type shirts, bright colors, muted baby blues, girls sport girly type dresses, matte lipsticks, bulky purses, high heels, etc. i was just wearing grey shirt, long hair, makeup and my GREY old navy jeans my mom just bought me, and my converses, although i wish i had brought out my cowboy boots, since my bulkster low cut socks often made an appearance (jeans dont go over the show, still need a good boyfriend cut jean)
on the way out, i saw two hipster nerd types, a bit chunky (those types idk), one holding the poster while the other rolled up the other. that made me say the comment, "oh! you two are helping hands! helping hands!" and i laughed out loud as i walked away, thinking, "h-h-helping hands!??!! what do you mean!? we are helping! were helping hands!!!"
i got the impression moss was ready to leave, and
rather than be adventurous and look for tim and eric, he said he was hungry. its not fun when you arent with an open minded explorer, a partner in crime. i felt his energy and hunger, and i sympathized with him, (unlike him sympathizing with me when i needed lunch)
he pointed out their tour bus, but i laughed because it looked like a volkwagon hippie bus, and i just did not think that was their tour bus, i thought moss was making a funny.
apparently they emerged at 11:20 and some stragglers had taken pics with them. i found this out via instagram when i followed the hashtags to the show last night.
erghh....
what else!??! i know i want to write more but i am tired of writing and i need to take a shower soon.
we did go to rainbow, ha! no one was there. we said hi to the owner, and we were seated. i was hungry but knew i couldnt eat a full meal so i had ordered new england clam chowder.
i was so tired!!! when we got home, i layed down on the couch and fell asleep soon after.
i will put up pics in a bit! stay tuned!!!
Then Moss stirs and awakens, so I decide to turn on his tv. At least now he has this really nice, big flatscreen. He still has columns of cds and piles of books and magazines lined up on the floors, with a sheen coating of dust on them and the surrounding floors, but for the most part, the coffee table is not cluttered. He starts barking a bunch of things we are going to do for the day. I blankly nod, eyes glazed over and feeling the beginning stages of hunger set in.
"We are going to try to go the free clinic so you can get your pill." I tried to explain to him, "I am going to need bloodwork", but I just zoned out once again. He mentioned sushi, (he always does sushi for lunch of Fridays)...and that sounded good to me!
Well, I took a brief shower...oh, I was not able to bring shampoo/conditioner; I figured I would get it at CVS, but for the time being, Moss said he had that stuff. So, I was in the shower, and I see that Moss has loads and loads of shampoo, but thats it! Shampoo! Mini shampoos, saved from all the hotels he has been to in Las Vegas, collections of complimentary shampoos, from Hard Rock, to Luxor, to where else he has gathered these shampoos from. No conditioner tho, just shampoos. Even tons of big size shampoos. White rain, medicated shampoos in skinny, medicine pink bottles, and other shampoo. He also has some kind of square bar of soap. (I am going to have to go to CVS and stock up on toiletry essentials soon). I am happy to be here tho. Might as well get excited to here, I suppose. I mean, I am getting a brief break from 'the crazy, high maintenance personality of Moss' (he says he is high maintenance, to which I have tried to explain to him that he is not 'high maintenance', in fact that term mainly is used to describe a woman, who needs her hair and make-up done up divinely, every day. Oh, hes at the gym, hence the break.Oh yeah, I am not sure why Moss doesnt use conditioner because he has longish hair i told him he should keep it maneagable...
Back to the day, when we were all ready to go, (I just put on some denims and a grey shirt, I really do not have nice clothes. I hardly brought any, tbh!!!), we left...um, so...first stop was the walk-in clinic Moss goes too. I thought we were going to wait in the main waiting room, but I saw Moss in that world where he is scheming something, cooking something up. The sign outside said no walk-ins. Before we 'walked in', he was muttering about me still having the files for my California ID, even tho I am assuming that ID has long since expired!?? I saw him flit away to the stairwell, and he motioned me over, so I went near to him, but he was sort of whispered/spoke really fast, "follow me," and he was leading up the stairwell. "Oh!?" i thought he just...was going to tell me something!???
We went upstairs and he went to talk to someone behind the desk up there, with a kind of look of irritation on his face. He explained to them I really need to get my medication, but they just lead us back to the original waiting room downstairs. I'm not sure what exactly Moss was thinking by usurping the first waiting room, but I can only gather that he figured if we made it to the next step, that would help me getting seen.
When we went back downstairs, we got in line, (which was relatively small anyways), and I figured, just wait and explain to them that I would like to see them?? Moss sort of squirreled away from the wait line to somehow stand in front of the concerned man in front of us, whom was talking to Taffy, the receptionist. She saw Moss and was like, "can I help you." Odd behavior from Moss confused us all. He had this look of irritation, and he was looking at the floor (it was the no walk in sign, im assuming) i think he expects us to read his mind of despairing desperation of helping his sickly friend in need of a script, then he quickly and quietly mumbled something...(I am not sure why he just didn't approach her and speak clearly and in a bold yet friendly tone, or, just let me explain my case), she didn't hear him and she was like, "can i help you?" so he nodded, still looking irritated, and solemnly and somberly said, "My friend really needs her medication, and you aren't accepting walk-ins, but she really needs her medication", while motioning towards me. She looked at me, I was like, "Oh! I'm as confused as you are!" and laughed. I just meant I was confused at his odd behavior!?? I would of just been like, "hi, is there any chance I can be seen today?" while speaking pleasantly and clearly, not some strange production of somber dire needs, I think Moss was trying to...i have no clue!?? She said that she cant, and I would have to make an appointment, which would take up to two weeks. She than friendlily added, she can give us a paper which she highlighted to other clinics which may take me. Moss asked her name, "Taffy", and he said he has a weird name too easy to remember. When we left he said, 'want to go to Sinai? Its literally within walking distance'. I think he knew none of the highlighted clinics would take me without my having a california id. I was super hungry by that point. (im craving watermelon sweets. yeah im hungry again!!!)
I told him I'm really hungry, but he insisted that we go, so we went!??! I learned it was the ER at Mt. Sinai Cedars whatever. He dropped me off, so I went inside myself and a friendly, sort of pushy volunteer with a friendly demeanor hypnotically lead me to the triage, and the girl there asked me what I was there for. I told her I just needed a refill for meds. Not true, I needed bloodwork done too. Well, they took my info and gave me one of those hospital bracelets, and I found a seat to sit down in and I did, then they called me and had taken my vitals. I asked how long it was going to be altogether she said they would put me on the fast access but it will still take all in all a few hours. Ok thanks!
I walked like a zombie back to the seat and Moss came in, finally. Sat down. I was so hungry. I have no idea why he would once again have us do something without nourishing our hunger first, (not the first time he has done this) i dont know about him, but i cant function without eating and i become very irritable too.
When Moss spoke with my dad the previous day, my dad had seemingly blamed my 'mean and childish, im assuming, or rude behavior' on my thyroid. they always do this when i am only merely arguing a point in a stern voice, since it is hard to cut through loud high pitched voices who think arguing a point is due to a bad thyroid. My dad further re-iterated how important it is that I get my medication. Since Moss always seems to say how easily it is to get scripts refilled, he figured i can just mosey on in to a clinic, but most likely the ER, and get a script. Hunger was arguing with me, as we sat down. I started explaining to moss that i am hungry, and he said we can go get some food while waiting, but they told me i can quickly grab a bite and come back. so long for enjoying a sit down meal of sushi right? So i said to him, "back home, I was in the process of getting my medicaid taken care of, in so that i can have proper medical insurance, and THAN!!! i can find a physician, CALL THEM! SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, then go and get labwork done, rather than sitting in a crowded emergency room, all the way across the country, plus I was hungry as heck! so as usual, i was trying to make this point, and moss retaliated with the high pitched squeaks and Lori I didnt know!! im trying to help you!" and his squeaks made me speak more louder, and some schizo/bipolar type older woman who was sitting in a wheelchair started saying, 'can you argue somewhere else? its making me very uncomfortable'. she seemed like the worrisome, depression sought over, woe is me type, who doesnt understand HUMOR nor probably has in years, her conversations probably only consisted of her health ailments and bipolar disease. PRO-TIP: SMILE AND LAUGH! IT HELPS!!!
anyways, i really had no intention of sitting and waiting, and i knew even once i got in, i would most likely walk out due to hunger taking over, and low patience, and the reality of TIME CONTROL!!! plus I wasnt about to rack up another hospital bill (moss later told me they are going to send me a bill regardless) ughhh!!!
so i figured, "Im leaving!" moss said lori no! your dad says you need your medication! I told him it was because he was trying to blame what he was insinuating was childish behavior on my part, when moss is the one who whines! so i walked out, yelling and shouting in the street about how i had no intention of going to and ER that is not how i do things! i do things like most responsible adults do, making appointments! and i NEVER yell on the streets but moss brings out that side of me!
geegads!!! ya know!!!??!
PART TWO (i have to break up these blog parts into sections)
so, we went to the mall but the food court was being remodeled, so we went to that place in weho or um...forget the name of the street...the place we get sushi at. oh yes forgot to mention, we saw an eric dressed as carol lookalike walk passed us (well i noticed) also, later on i noticed another carol lookalike....hmm i thought to myself...
it was good (i will add pics in a bit)
finally, satiated!
after that was more driving, to pick up posters than put me on the list for the janes addiction and such free concert on sunset blvd. then, he had to go to his beverly hills post office to pick up his mail, while i read dr. drews cracked, (moss always gives me books to read). i had mentioned that i would like to interview ron jeremy, (why not!?) but it would be for my blog, but i doubt ron would want to sit down with me for an interview. moss is right, unless it benefits him, what reason does he have? see, i know ron as our friend, i see him, i say hi to him, i hear ron and moss argue, i know that he is not taking care of himself, but moss gave me his book to read so i would like to interview him more on a glimpse into hollywood times during the 70s and 80s when he reigned as a porn king (i dont know i never saw his porns lol! nor do i care)
alright well, the point is, i would focus on a different era, the porn heyday of LA, now porn is a dying form. oh newsflash! ron is doing a scene with jenna jameson! yes, NOW! (he filmed it last night)
two reigning rainers of porn, king and queen, now sad and old...or whatever idc LOL
THE GYM!!!
so he had to see his trainer at 430, or he would make his trainer highly upset. he said i could get in for a session. anyways, we got there, and moss actually CUT in front of someone, and i even told him, "moss you cut in front of someone". He kind of just furrowed his brow and ordered me to sign the paper, actually, Alejandro did say to sign the guest list, but Moss's furrow of confusion seemed to suggest that I follow him. I was still in shock at how he just cut in front of someone!???!
I don't do things the way he does. I approach whoever is behind the desk, I say hi and explain what I have to, engaging in eye contact and being polite. Isn't that what most people do?
So I went and changed and we went upstairs to do some treadmill. Then we went downstairs he had to get a drink of water from the fountain. His trainer, Charlie, told me I can go upstairs and do cardio if I want but Moss came back , (oh he was lugging around his gym bag but he then handed charlie his keys and wallet to hang onto) then he went to put his bag in the locker since he has no lock.
I kind of felt like Charlie was hinting at me to do cardio, but Moss pays him to be his trainer and he was opting to have me alongside, and it was sort of like a free session as well, on his part, to have me accompany them, so that was cool. He was funny and making jokes, even making fun of moss in a good natured way.
We did reps or arm and ab stuff...throughout the gym. I even did the free style stuff, i was so tired before but i started to wake up after doing all the arm work Moss flitted away to find a fountain (I asked him why he doesnt just bring a water bottle, because charlie left that time, probably when he was talking to the guy at the front desk, alejandro, as he discussed his remorse or whatever, moss being rude. so i was just left standing there, scanning the gym. then i saw a big figure, who was waving. as my eyes adjusted i saw that it was moss, who was waving at me to come over like a woman at sea waves to her husband with a hankie as he sails away. it took me a while to see he was calling me over.
towards the end tho, charlie was upset with moss about the free pass i was granted. i guess moss, (or me?) didnt make a good impression at the counter and they figured, why give a free pass to someone who cannot be friendly and make eye contact?
I figured it out, moss kept saying, "well he didnt ask for her ID"
doesnt matter, charlie had stated, they felt like blah blah blah
he even mentioned rushing through w.out eye contact or saying thank you. i think moss's mentality was thinking, 'quick! rush through before they realize you dont have a california ID!" almost as if we were sneaking in...and you know me, in a constant state of confusion when it comes to how or why moss does the things that he does. charlie told him it is the way he goes about things, he comes off as rude. he does tho!?? moss says it is his personality, but i have seen him plenty of times nod and not make eye contact, already quick to put the other person in a defensive state, (i know if i saw someone like that i would be!?!!)
so i guess moss irritated charlie into walking out on us, ha!?? so......it was kind of awkward but i understand that him and the gym are doing a favor for moss, a client, and him bringing me etc..anyways enough of the gym story. i had someone relay a message to Alejandro that I said thank you for letting me in idk...
blahhhhhh!! oh no! it was 630 already!???! according to the show, it says it starts at 7pm!!! once again, i got upset. moss mossied it up again, by the skin of our bones, we were rushing, and moss doesnt have a smart phone. we had to go back to moss's so that i can recharge my phone somewhat, (was hoping to meet tim and eric and steve brule), and put on makeup. plus moss had to quickly email ppl on craigslist. it was a big rushing game!!!
it was 20 to 7, and we still had to rush to get to the place. on the way there, someone called him. (oh yeah i actually msgd sunshine lee who plays steve brules cousin that he thought was not his cousin, she is easy to get a hold of. she told me that they did not invite her but had she a ride she would of went, so i was like, oh i wish i had known that we would of given you a ride? she said to tell them hi so i said i would. she gave me her number too if there was another chance to go to a show, but they are touring)..no i did not further push her to ask what john c reilly's manager is or anything like that, or to try to get us on a list i just said thank you i will try to tell them hi if i see them! thanks again!
((later i read that tim and eric alumni's david liebe hart and james quall were there, trying to be seen and heard...and james quall actually got escorted out because he was dirty!?? david liebe hart had a booth set up selling merch by the t&e merch, but i did not see him or such merch.))
moss got a phone call, and handed his phone to me so that i can log into his paypal using my phone and pay the guy, (wayne) i later learned his name was "Wayne Lee' ((jan and wayne..sunshine lee? oh!?? hes an asian student at UCLA! gotchya!)
he emailed me the tickets, after much confusion not only charging my phone but navigating around paypal on my iphone and talking to this guy who seemed straightforward as i was talking to moss about not having all this set up in advance.
well, we got there and there was still a line! i suppose they did a 'moss' saying to be there at 7 but show starts at 8!!!
ahh! so we had time, and eric..i mean, tickets..(often i type in tim and eric and i find myself typing time and eric)
we had such good seats! comfy seats, way up front!!! im talking, way up front! i actually was able to opt to sit up closer! in which we did!!! it was comfy, cozy, great seats!! great job! we werent in the back, we werent in the balcony, we were front row!!! our own row! dj dougpound was good, and so was the rest of the show. i did have a beer, tecate with lime...or something i forget, and after tim and eric i had a gin and tonic, which made me feel buzzy and fuzzy but it was like i was within the comforts of home, enjoying the shows via youtube. i think they noticed me sitting there too!?? i hope so! steve brule said 'raisins of poison' and talked about him mom poisoning him, and they had ppl on stage (plants) playing some sort of duck duck goose but brule turned the camera in a way that i saw myself on the big screen and i coughed and i saw my move my hand so they were filming me, well the audience. i felt kind of embarrassed seeing myself up there tho HA!!!
when the show ended i had to pee so bad, and i was in line and i had forgotten how much LA style these girls have, perfectly dyed blonde hair, perfect haircut, perfectly cake-y type dresses, glasses, make-up, tall, model esque lithe types, LA girls...the kinds that frequent the gothic bars and hideaways, chalices and hot spots that are peppered and speckled throughout this city...girls who had other places to make appearances at after the seemingly trendy tim and eric show was over, on to the next thing right?
when i went upstairs, i asked the security guy who helped play with kicking the hacker/audience member/plant out was there, and i asked him if they are coming out. he didnt know. he said sometimes they stand outside. a small gaggle of the audience was gaggled around the merch, buying their drangus gear and what not. i was buzzing due to that gin and tonic, but also tired and ready to call it a night, but also perplexingly hoping to see tim and eric...idk, especially steve brule. i spotted him during the break after t and es show to his spot, while looking for the bathroom. he was in brule gear, and i saw him getting ready to run into the theater. i stopped, feeling like the heckler boy from the simpsons, gawking after mr. burns got shot during that classic episode), while holding my fancy gin n tonic, i muttered, 'oh my god' then i saw him running, i said 'BRULE!"
then i sashayed back to my seat and chose and even closer spot, ready to laugh at brule...instead of hiding away into a cross eyed glaze. i could tell moss wasnt getting into it, he was trying too, with his focused smile, attempting to find humor in this bit, but unless he never watched steve brule or tim and eric, he would never find the comforting familiarity and allure of seeing him on stage, along with peices of the show....
but yeah after the show, i was hanging out, still feeling as if it was occurring, but i could see moss was ready to go, as most of the audience had dispersed as well. t and e sometimes head out into the fans, but out here in LA, most have other things to do, while leaving after laughing it up. guys all sport flannels or plaid, beards, glasses, simple little boy type shirts, bright colors, muted baby blues, girls sport girly type dresses, matte lipsticks, bulky purses, high heels, etc. i was just wearing grey shirt, long hair, makeup and my GREY old navy jeans my mom just bought me, and my converses, although i wish i had brought out my cowboy boots, since my bulkster low cut socks often made an appearance (jeans dont go over the show, still need a good boyfriend cut jean)
on the way out, i saw two hipster nerd types, a bit chunky (those types idk), one holding the poster while the other rolled up the other. that made me say the comment, "oh! you two are helping hands! helping hands!" and i laughed out loud as i walked away, thinking, "h-h-helping hands!??!! what do you mean!? we are helping! were helping hands!!!"
i got the impression moss was ready to leave, and
rather than be adventurous and look for tim and eric, he said he was hungry. its not fun when you arent with an open minded explorer, a partner in crime. i felt his energy and hunger, and i sympathized with him, (unlike him sympathizing with me when i needed lunch)
he pointed out their tour bus, but i laughed because it looked like a volkwagon hippie bus, and i just did not think that was their tour bus, i thought moss was making a funny.
apparently they emerged at 11:20 and some stragglers had taken pics with them. i found this out via instagram when i followed the hashtags to the show last night.
erghh....
what else!??! i know i want to write more but i am tired of writing and i need to take a shower soon.
we did go to rainbow, ha! no one was there. we said hi to the owner, and we were seated. i was hungry but knew i couldnt eat a full meal so i had ordered new england clam chowder.
i was so tired!!! when we got home, i layed down on the couch and fell asleep soon after.
i will put up pics in a bit! stay tuned!!!
Friday, September 12, 2014
i dont know
stuck all day following moss around, when he knew i want to go to the tim and eric show so now once again we are running around by the skin of our bones. my phone is not fully charged. he does these things. i follow him around like a puppy while he does errands only to run around like a chicken with our heads cut off.
the show is at 7 and its quarter too 7
the show is at 7 and its quarter too 7
typeing dumb
i dont know what i am doing im very tired....when moss picked me up, after waiting a while, i told him, "moss, i cant afford to take trips! i am still confused what i am doing out here! im freaking broke, now im too embarrassed to even post on fb about being out here!??! who takes off, (and buys tickets when they should use the money for more important things) risks losing someone that they really care about..
if i were going to go on a trip, id go to new orleans! so i hear the hollywood bowl has a live simpsons thing, and conan and others are going to be there. i would love to go! i told moss about it he said thats not really his thing. well its MY thing! and we were all talking about it last night at the tattoo place...its like, well now i am stuck paying for this trip, so please moss, lets try to do things that i find enjoyable right??? and tickets are actually cheap...
and moss has to understand, i am now paying for me being here! forget the fact that i have no money, or that i even explained to him that i cannot be here, but here i am!? on his couch....with these weird pillows, couch square pillows, using his comforter because he returned the other one. and i may have lost mike now. and i would feel the same way if he just left like that. i understand too, why he would be upset with me. it feels so good when he is tender and loving and affectionate towards me. it feels so good (this is slowing down and i cant see what i am tryping for a few seconds its very distracting!
maybe if i make it larger it will work, but doesnt seem too!??!
it still freezes.....let me just finish this...typos are due to it freezin so it pauses and i keep typing even tho it pauses
so last year when i came out at least i was cute. i was 125 lbs!! ya know? i have since gained weight! im disgusting now, 151 lbs and my face looks like a wrinkled hot dog from the eagles game last sunday...(burnt)...im so gross!!!
and i just look so silly being out here! moss laughs so loud at things. i always get distracted when ppl (always guys), overly laugh at things on tv. i just watch in silence well i may laugh here and there but i get engulfed in more than just hee hawing it up same with tim and eric fans they are annoying and weird i think!?
its like, idk i cant type now...thanks to this freezing up. maybe tomorrow...i go to sleep now!
tim and eric fans oh nevermind its still freezing!!! i dont want to lose mike tho. i do love him. im out here but why!?? what is the reason!??! i not pursuing anything, nor do i have the funds or means to be out here! i do think moss tricked me into coming out here.
:( idk...i just feel on the verge of crying all the time, but i have felt this way for a while, meaning im not hapy or secure enough to enjoy myself. does anyone understand what i mean!??!
if i were going to go on a trip, id go to new orleans! so i hear the hollywood bowl has a live simpsons thing, and conan and others are going to be there. i would love to go! i told moss about it he said thats not really his thing. well its MY thing! and we were all talking about it last night at the tattoo place...its like, well now i am stuck paying for this trip, so please moss, lets try to do things that i find enjoyable right??? and tickets are actually cheap...
and moss has to understand, i am now paying for me being here! forget the fact that i have no money, or that i even explained to him that i cannot be here, but here i am!? on his couch....with these weird pillows, couch square pillows, using his comforter because he returned the other one. and i may have lost mike now. and i would feel the same way if he just left like that. i understand too, why he would be upset with me. it feels so good when he is tender and loving and affectionate towards me. it feels so good (this is slowing down and i cant see what i am tryping for a few seconds its very distracting!
maybe if i make it larger it will work, but doesnt seem too!??!
it still freezes.....let me just finish this...typos are due to it freezin so it pauses and i keep typing even tho it pauses
so last year when i came out at least i was cute. i was 125 lbs!! ya know? i have since gained weight! im disgusting now, 151 lbs and my face looks like a wrinkled hot dog from the eagles game last sunday...(burnt)...im so gross!!!
and i just look so silly being out here! moss laughs so loud at things. i always get distracted when ppl (always guys), overly laugh at things on tv. i just watch in silence well i may laugh here and there but i get engulfed in more than just hee hawing it up same with tim and eric fans they are annoying and weird i think!?
its like, idk i cant type now...thanks to this freezing up. maybe tomorrow...i go to sleep now!
tim and eric fans oh nevermind its still freezing!!! i dont want to lose mike tho. i do love him. im out here but why!?? what is the reason!??! i not pursuing anything, nor do i have the funds or means to be out here! i do think moss tricked me into coming out here.
:( idk...i just feel on the verge of crying all the time, but i have felt this way for a while, meaning im not hapy or secure enough to enjoy myself. does anyone understand what i mean!??!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
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