moss-isms

ok, so, i will write about yesterday, and my feeeeeelings...wahhh!!! 

first let me re-state, i understand that it looks like i ran out here, running away from responsibilities like a child, but you know what? my mom told me that she is giving lisa and i both 1000.00, well, she was supposed to help me, with bills and all that. and i have been saying time and time again that i feel it is not in the best of interest to come out here. i have continuosly expressed that i in no way felt coming out here was something in my agenda. so yes, i do kind of realize that i look like someone who just runs out here, on someone else's account, but despite what lisa may thinks, moss is nor did he, pay for my way out here, or is he paying for my way home. yes he payed for tickets, (50.00 tim and eric), yesterday HE wanted to go to the oddball show, he bought some jack in the box and sushi. i know it looks strange for me to even be out here! i just want a job! i want to have health insurance. i want my OWN apartment/house. i want to TAKE CARE OF THINGS! and i have mentioned time and time again, that running out here was NOT on my plans, i mean, when and if i decide to come out here, i want it so that i HAVE MONEY!! for one! i have pampered myself for a trip, as most ppl do, i have all my style clothes, not just basic ware, like this time! my outfits that i brought consist of two old navy jeans, a few shirts, workout stuff (since moss told me to bring them since we would be working out but it doesnt seem like that has worked out!??!) idk, 

doesnt moss understand? he is making me look like an irresponsible fool? no i dont care what others think about me, but i really need to get my life on track!! see, moss thinks he has his best interest for me. um...coming out here to fuck around is not my best interest! its was i told myself that i do not want to do!

not when i dont have money! not when i am physically and mentally a mess! not when i dont have a fun travel companion, (friend or boyfriend)...you know? i mean, now is NOT the time to run out on a trip, especially somewhere i dont feel like being! new orleans, to me, would be a nice trip! thailand, japan, italy, ireland...but why would i choose to come here? i even told moss, to tell c. hardwick someone thought he was cute, but i realize that would be really stupid and pointless.....i dont even care anymore!

so, join me, once again, on a quick read into the mind of poison, or Lori, or 'brown' or whatever it is that i am!??! shit! i suppose! im shit!

alright, so, it turned out exactly how i knew it would!!! HA!!!!

moss had his gym in the morning, so i woke up and did my thing, blogging that blog i kept editing etc. hope someone enjoyed it or whatever!??!? he brought back some jack in the box tacos, a quick go-to round here...and even a hashed brown, all hashed up and brown...sort of like me, i was all hashed up!!! j/k

all mixed up! dont know what to do! feel like hearing that song now, 311...remember that? memba dat?

(yah so if lisa complains about me being out here, HEH! my mom is giving her some money too so she needs to SHUT UP!!! well cuz they are gonna get me, the big kid who cant buy myself a ticket outta here, or ever grow up! plane tick to go home.)

im just a big kid, with a dum dum brain, because....im easy come easy go...blah blah blah  (that song......by queen)

at least that is what ppl think of me as. also, despite hashtagging sober saturdays, sadly i had a drink or two. i'll explain later...(so what than? im a HYPO-crite and a liar too!??!)

(i am going to do a run-down of the comedians and what i thought of them now)

anyways, i had taken a shower and what not..nothing special. show was in irvine, so we got there to see the show. lets see lets see...first comedian was ron funches...i didnt really think he was funny..he was smoking blunts and throwing out condoms, and he had entertaining peeps in the background.....idk....

oh yes brody stevens was the host, him too making jokes and stuff in between...

after  ron, oh yeah forgot to mention, OHHHH YEAHHHHH hang on!

so irvine is kind of far, so we got there. moss was not on the VIP list, but luckily his guy John Reese was there, who said it was ok to let us through and confirmed

so we parked and walked up , well, he sauntered, up to the booth and they told moss no he is not on the list!?? he then was pointed to go to the next place, john said he was on the list...at the other booth, but he wasnt on that one either. i joked he is a V.U.P. (very UNimportant person) well he made that joke he said he feels the opposite of a VIP
wow! i cant type!!! this laptop is acting up!??!  and it just highlighted and deleted. its so slow i cant see what i am typing and pages keep popping up. it is very hard for me to concentrate on this blog.

i said moss demands one sided conversations. meaning, he has a lot to say, but when i say something, he doesnt respond, at all..

he used to do this and i just filed it away as to never say anything, and let him speak. but that is not how friendships should be. that is not how conversations should be! you listen, you comment...you trade exchanges etc, you communicate!

geez it is so hard and weird...also, and i will get into this later as well, you have to be a different person to different people..(especially celebrities, but i will get to that later)

 sage txted me about sia, she likes the song chandelier, but she questioned me about sias odd behaviour and the video, so i gave her my opinion, without scaring her with the whole "MK" aspect. i said it is a good song, sage said sia wants her identity hid. she said the video is weird. i told her it was supposed to be about alcohlism but it strange how they chose the girl from dance moms to represent alcoholism. maybe her chaotic form of dancing reps the highs and lows of alcohlism..??? i seem to not know how to spell it!?? alcohlism!?? ah so what!??! i never spellcheck!??! ahh! i just did!! alcohlism...whatever!??? so sage asked me about it i said i think what she wore was inappropriate...(spellcheck again!! YAY!) i did not say it looks like a pedos dream..she asked what sias problem is i said idk could be dissociative identity disorder..?? (sia has to stand facing a corner while she performs)....anyways, i told moss i was texting sage and he keeps telling me to say hi to her, what is sages number (he had it to tell her he met bieber but she dont care about j biebs anymore), in other wards, he kept talking despite me trying to txt with sage, who never txts me! she did this morning too...i was trying to focus on what sage was saying, not all the things moss kept asking about. i mentioned to moss what we were texting about, sia and DID and all that, and he just kind of, not said a thing...even tho earlier he was telling me stuff, links to links! (he says linkin park concert alot, he also says sugar alot) when talking about diets, he quotes, 'no bread, no pasta, no sugar...' forget what else he says. thats a silly way to go about things. for one, its easy to avoid 'sugar'...if you cook yourself, no processed crap, and just avoid the sugar jar!! who eats 'sugar' anyways!??? bread i say rye toast is fine!?!??! whole wheat pasta once in a while, fine!!!

i read alot of health magazines so i know a bit about nutrition and tips etc...vitamins what not

but see, he started telling me a story, about this building in the distance, something about how they have it in chicago and people run up the stairs...it took me a moment for my brain to process something that wasnt even on my mind!??! um..ok!?? but since he never says anything when i tell him something of substance, or whatever it may be, i did the same thing he does to me. i did not reply, i did not even acknowledge the fact that he was telling me about some building. i changed the subject to talk about potatoes!??! i said, 'do you know they have purple potatoes!?" (silence, on my part)..him, "no i didnt"

me, "yes they are very healthy"

then after i told him, did you like that i didnt even acknowledge what you just told me, about the building??
because that is what you do to me.

he took this as an insult and started spurting, 'lori be nice to be'-esque things, "i AM listening!" he would squeak..."i AM! I AM I AM!" almost like a child having a tantrum. i boldly exclaimed to him, "Do not speak to me like that!"

geez its so hard to get through to him without him getting insulted!!!

shit!! it all got deleted!!!

shit shit shit i was saying how moss........ughh why does this do this!?? 

i said moss-isms

damnet!!! i just made that word up...shit shit shit why did it have to highlight and delete!?!?
i was saying how i just made up a term moss-ism i said moss says linkin park concert alot and sugar..
oh yeah bout the sugar thing! ah i will get back it to later..
a moss-ism is a story that he randomly starts out of nowhere, something he relates to on tv, a show or a football team, or a building he sees in the distance...a song on the radio..something he desperately needs to connect with for the sense of relevency. (jk who knows maybe tho) 



this is what was deleted, "I am listening!" yes, you may be listening..

"I am listening I AM listening, I am listening!" he started squeaking i a child-like manner, feeling as if i am insulting him.

"i am listening its as simple as that!"

Yes you are listening, but thats just it! Its simple because it is TOPICAL! you are listening, but it is not processing, which is why it is simple! you are only thinking of the next thing that YOU are going to say!"

I tried to explain to him, he talks and talks and talks, and wants ppl to listen to him, yet when i say something, he doesnt even acknowledge that he listened. he talks about ron alot, but i think he does what ron does to him. and moss tells me i treat him the way mike treats me...well, i think moss does the things that he accuses ron of doing to me. i dont feel like getting into all that tho...

he got upset and thought i was criticizing him but i said ok i have an ego too! when i say something, i want to make sure i am heard! it was getting nowhere. he kept saying, "i yam who i yam,' ala popeye style...

when the paragraph deleted, i was saying how he just walked through the door with the happy meal. he made the same joke that he did yesterday, about forgetting jack in the box. so i was typing how that is a 'moss-ism'...then he sees me typing and said, 'lori you type so fast you really should get a job in computers'

i was typing about his 'moss-isms'. later, when he was telling me another story, oh how his dentists son was getting drafted into the NFL, i admitted to him what i was writing, so he advised me, "thats fine, but it would be nice for you to write about all the good things i do for you! how i take you to the tim and Aric...yadda yadda' yes, but on MY terms! i hate when ppl suggest how i should think! 

this is getting boring..i need to find cheap tickets to the simpsons do the bowl tonight! 

moss keeps talking...well we were talking 

anyways this topic is getting boring lets move on to the oddball fest. 

so it was like a runaround for moss, sort of funny and amusing, to see moss get all rallied up over not being on the VIP list, and he spotted john again and gave him a check for his wife's charity, or the brother, dogs home from afghanistan or iraq, puppies servicemen, puppy rescue mission..military dog? puppy rescue mission, and john and kevin lymans charity, event to event (i think? i didnt type it at first because i wrote his wifes charity), so he gave him the check and he handed us the laminates and tickets, i just asked him for the ticket and he did a 'moss-ism' 'maybe, if your nice to me'...or, 'i might keep it'...

oh yeah i overheard a girl mention an after-party....i dont like feeling like i am following moss around tho, thinking that maybe everyone knows what i write and blog about...or maybe my delusional lonely self wants to think ppl give a shit about me...

so we had our vip laminates, i posted a pic of it...more on that later...

so we go through the VIP entry, immersed amongst dudes in plaids and hats, girls with dresses...moss was wearing a new wash of jean for him, and a tucked in dressy black button down. i was wearing tight style jeans (not boyfriend cut :( old navy had boyfriend cut but they were cut off capri style) and my new york city shirt, showing off the hint of belly i developed thanks to eating bad food and not exercising......

 we looked for his friend backstage. i heard moss talk about his friend in such good terms, he seemed like he would be a good natured guy and all that.....so we found his bus and we passed the blonde daughter of a VIP (i guess one of the main guys daughters)...im not gonna ask moss now, like i did about the charity and tried to write it as word for word as possible...upon entering the bus, the smell of alcoholic beverages wafted out...and everyone seemed a bit tipsy, including his friend and his girl, and the other girl who was talking to them. it felt like how it would be...where i felt judged...maybe a tinge of paranoia wondering if they know i blog about my experiences, and if so.....the one girl seemed to look at me as if i was......idk....what else should i do while standing there, while everyone is imbibing. moss said i can get a drink but they seemed to of said no or something?!?! yeah yeah, sober saturdays and shit....

agendas....i kind of felt a tinge of cringe as moss felt he was in the limelight as he told a story....the story of moss, ron, picking up ron from the airport with brandon, (brandons the manager of a slew of concert venues in arizona, which moss had flown out to to meet and greet with his celebrity crush, kacey musgraves. brandon has good pull and good connections, he later told more stories more on that later)

moss either chooses to be oblivious or he is when he tells his story, (jim carreys character in dumb and dumber when he fantasizes about impressing her family, fart jokes and all, cept moss doesnt talk about fart jokes.but he was talking about kacey musgraves)

moss grew up with only two channels, so while he is a bit older than me, he never grew up with nick jr, neverending story, labyrinth (which i seem to be referencing alot), peewee, all those things, he never even did mIRC (he asked me how old i was when i started using the internet later..???)

anyways, i couldnt try to attempt to chill due to a full bladder, but while moss couldnt care less about how he projected himself, i felt very awkward...standing there. sometimes moss would say something about me that i didnt even know, like 'lori knows CPR" huh what!??! i mean, i do, i was trained in the army...but he makes it seem like him and i are like peas and carrots, two peas in a pod! jennay!

ill be back! the comedy shows will be above post bye i need a break!!!!