oddball comedy

so, i will get to the oddball comedy show. we had our VIP passes, and all the while during, we did, in fact, wander around backstage after we said hi to brandon on his bus. first person we see is brody...the host. actually, it was chris hardwick. moss acted like he knew him, flashing some sort of pendant at him. i had no idea what it was but i figured, idk...because chris responded in a way that, well, he recognized this pendant. he said hi, so then, he introduced him to me, and i think he was wearing sunglasses, but he didnt look in my eyes, he sort of looked passed me and gave me a hug or shook my hand, i forget..?? then, we saw moss's friends again, i dont know why moss never wants to wonder into the catering tent tho? thats where you'll spot more comedians!?? and food! yes FOOD!!!! we stood out and i glanced inside and spotted jim gaffigan. i was like, 'thats where they all are'. i would of just wandered in, casually take some food, sit down, look around. thats all!!??!

i had to pee so bad tho, really, so we went where the dressing rooms were and i saw hannibal buress. since i had said hi to him at the festival supreme last year, i said hi again this and that blah...he remembered me and told me the festival supreme is in a few days as well. i made sure to be very friendly and personable. then, i passed chris hardwick again and felt kind of...idk...i think i just felt funny...like a lil idiot with a dumb crush, but not really, just because i blogged about him prior. 

we found the bathrooms but they were outside the VIP area, but then moss and i walked back in, i just wanted to hang out there before the show or something, i forget. brandon was still in there. so........we said hi to brody, and we saw chris again, with some girls. his pussy posse!!! ahh!! i wanted to laugh really!! moss flashed the pendant again..and asked for a pic with his embarrassing disposable camera. everytime he asks me to take a pic with it, i feel like they think its part of our shpiel, that we do this on purpose, like a team almost...idk, maybe to stand out or be remembered, but  the thing is, I AM NOT IN ON IT! he is the one who keeps using those outdated things! i feel silly taking pictures with them! chris was about to walk away but i was like, 'um, can i take a pic please'. "sure" he said, and handed moss my phone. he proceeded to take a few pics, all of which i looked like a shadowy big head, yet chris looked like a good natured funny guy. then he walked away with his 'PUSSY POSSE' we followed them outside (well we were headed outside too) he guided his pussy posse, i saw him guide them, saying, 'here lets go this way' as they must of walked down some hidden walkway of food vendors, perhaps to the second stage, that we never saw, to watch a fellow comedian? he had three girls with them, one was wearing TIE DIE crop top, short black hair..i forget!?? maybe a bunch of loose crochets and stuff. how do these girls get to be follow ons and hanger ons, or what is the deal? what kind of girl do these people like? or.....wah and blah....im plain, i know. plus i have a bad thing...'oooohhhh something bad'....i havent the funds to obtain a style lately......sorry!

i snapped a pic of his P.P. so i will put it up later!

well, we found our seats and promptly sat down while brody was making some jokes. 

ron funches, give or take........ya know!????!

after ron, it was..........hmm......i dont remember!??! i think demetri martin. he was good. i really like when he uses the guitar and harmonica, very sweet and cozy mixed with his interesting 'demetri-isms'. i like him i felt bad that i seemed so sad when i met him, but he doesnt care about that ha! he probably doesn't even rememba!!!

whitney cummings was next. moss was like, 'and shes pretty, which helps'. i stopped to absorb what he just said. hmm, so, she is pretty, so it helps!?? it helps her comedy act!??! i said alot of comediennes can make a few jokes about such a statement....a sexist statement actually! there were a bunch of kids in the front row who got alot of attention that night. she gave them attention, chris hardwick did, and sarah silverman, which lamed everything up a bit. yeah, they are 15 and 16 years old. we know this already. why did these comedians keep asking them their age? and why keep including them? ahh whatever!??

whitney made jokes about 'squirting' but then i read later in this book i am reading, 'monsters and superfreaks', that squirting in porn has been around since the 80s, it is nothing new. and no most women do not squirt, and yes it probably is pee. moss said, 'thats not true, you can train yourself to squirt'. EWWW MOSS!!! he watches too much porn!!!

so.....after whitney cummings....i think.....it was chris hardwick. he was funny. actually maybe hannibal buress. hannibal seems so cool and collected, casual and quiet off stage, (and on eric andre, in which i know him from), on stage he is loud, and brazen! he was funny tho. he had sword swallowers, magicians, flame swallowers, stilt walkers on stage with him. awesome!!!

i should msg when moss laughs, he laughs super loud, sometimes he sort of does this dorky, george mcfly laugh too. he blew up one beach ball, then it was intermission, so we left to go backstage.

i saw jim gaffigan, but moss didn't flash him a pendant or anything...we walked away. i thought about it tho, that would be the only chance to get a picture with him!?? right?? so, i approached him for a picture. moss did his disposable thing and it got kind of awkward and quiet, but jim finally broke the silence by making some sort of joke, and moss said, 'i can feel you thinking of a new routine' (uh, no moss...i dont think....that!??) he then handed me the camera and i was just like, "see, the thing about these cameras is that, its very weird to not see the picture, and it feels strange to have to lift the camera to look through the uh...whatever it is, to take a picture" (well it does!??!)

who knows!?? oh edit! we ran into chris and his P.P. (i felt foolish that i wrote that, because i became worried that he or someone or whatever, read i actually wrote something as cheesy as moss and his cameras, 'pussy posse'!!!

who knows maybe that is why chris had those womens around!!! i just looked at the pic. one girl had blue hair!? really??? mm...blue hair....

anywaze!!!!!!!!!!! i posted the pics to facebook and checked my comments. i saw my dad warned me to delete what rizzo wrote and that it was very rude that he wrote that about his daughter, so i looked and i saw he commented on a pic i posted, calling me a lying cunt bitch. wow!!! i instantly felt a heavy feeling of dread and tears come over me, and i went into a very depressed state of mind. we went back to our seats, and mark maron was now on. as we sat down, i just started silently crying....i was too upset to even enjoy myself.

the strange thing was, at that moment, mark maron made some sort of joke, about APATHY (i was even using that word, being apathetic, or sympathetic, when moss and i were arguing about the art of conversation.i asked if it was apathy or sympathy...) mark maron said something about APATHY, and about making your girl cry or something...why she is crying or whatever...i was like....thats just...a...sort of...interesting thing to hear right now? i wondered if they saw me crying or idk!?? maybe saw rizzo's comment on my fb and somehow knew that would make me cry!??

after a while, i thought of the full extent of things, i mean, i convinced myself that i was special, that i do mean something, and i shook it off, so i can enjoy the show. if he did know somehow, the comedian, than that was nice of him.

sigh....soon after, some ppl were starting to sit next to us. moss said, 'oh look its mr. gropey!' (it was andy gould, rob zombies manager). he sat right next to me. 

sarah silverman was next, her making her sarah silverman jokes. i couldn't help but think of her at joan rivers funeral. she made a joke about the movie, 'baby boom', with diane keaton. in the movie, dianes character had to put a thermometer is the babys bum. sarah said, 'when did the baby agree to being in this movie?' and then she joked about how the parents sold their baby for the sake of a movie. the thermomenter in the butt might been something more, abuse...i tried to take note of andy goulds reactions, since rob zombie movies are highly satanic. he just went, 'oh my god' or something...

anyways, after sarah was jim gaffigan. he made a joke about meaning of last names, such as 'singer' if someone was a singer, 'etc etc....'i cant think of anything else, you know what i mean? he said he read what gaffigan is which means anxious and after he learned that he felt more anxious. i thought of my last name..."brown" originally, from ireland, it had an e on the end of it, browne. my grandfather had it dropped because he was sick of being called 'brownie'

jim then made a joke when say, an electrician comes to his house, he tries to stay out the way yet seem important, like he had important things to adhere too, but he didnt. he said he offered the guy some brownies, and then he said hes gonna go sit in the corner, and work on some diarrhea jokes.

brown!!! what do you think of!? brown!??! shit! diarrhea! HA!!! (brown shower, tim and eric billionaire movie. grozzzz!!!)

i laughed tho! it was like the prior (richard pryor) joke was still happening, but just privately directed at me, for me! HA HA HA!!! (or am i reading too much into everything!?? MEH!!!)

i say meh alot....keep that in mind..

louis ck was next. good act. i think he was in the new tornado movie, i saw with my parents and sage. that was a good movie. into the storm. right? wasnt louis ck in that movie??

apple iphone is so annoying!! i cant download to update apps without using my normal email address, it wants me to use my icloud. i dont remember my icloud password! when i have them email to reset, i do, but it still tells me it is not the correct one! it is so utterly, stupid!!!

yawn! its freaking hot outside! oh, back to the show!!!

after it ended, everyone got up and collided in a central gathering of people! so many....people...ugh people......

i saw there was a huge line for the restrooms. moss had to snap up some snipes hanging up on the bathroom doors, so he got in line. i waited amongst the people. 

i figured most of the comedians went home or wherever after their set was over. i heard music for the after party. i saw them setting up for it earlier. so we went to the party, i was like, im gonna get a drink, (open bar) but i felt like a hipocrate because i was in line for a drink. idk......what else to do? i can have a drink and be fine. anyways, i saw the flame-eaters, pretty cool. moss gets in to the party and looks around, but he doesnt really get into the spirit of things. he just always looks like he is looking for someone. it was like 11pm. so i followed him to the next room. we saw hannibal again and said hi. he wanted a pic with him.(hannibal the cannibal!!! HUH!!! gasp!! NOW I GET IT!!!) jk

we had some tacos compliments of the taco vendors they used...i saw hannibal and said good tacos!

then we went to sit in the dance room with the go-go dancers to sit down and eat the tacos. then moss got up and i was sitting by myself. i left to go pee again, by that time line was not empty since the masses were long gone.

later, we found the backstage room, full of catered fruits and cupcakes, shrimp etc, and brandon and his girfriend were there, an assistant, and terry, the owner of the verizon amphitheater. i sat and listened to brandon explain moss. he....HA! it was quite funny. moss didnt get to see kacey musgraves the first time. he missed her by a few minutes. brandon went on to explain that someone, im not sure who? moss or brandon, maybe a combo of both, for entertainments sake, invited ron to the cmas. so moss was busy with ron, missing the chance to meet musgraves and give her all the personalized pics he made for her...ala 'big fan' style...

brandon said the pics all said 'i love KM" so she can throw out to her fans. moss and his need to feel appreciated, but hey...hes a 'big fan' :D!!!

brandon explained that moss wanted her to autograph some glossies, and he handed her a RED sharpie, in which her handler said no red sharpies. it might symbolize love of signing in blood, thats what brandon said. moss said in a fast way, "they dont want to sign in red because it means love, and a fan might think that they love them'

im like, 'so is that what were you hoping for? so she could sign in red, then you can think she loves you?" LOL!! its a little.......creepy!??! stalker-like, and even brandon was making jokes like that. later i heard his girlfriend say that, 'they meet a lot of crazy people'. im sure moss heard it, or not. he knows he is not very observant. he likes to talk but he can be clueless.. i have been trying to help him understand to be more observant, and to broaden his horizens. he is difficult and lost in his ways. i gotten into a big argument last night with him. i'll explain later. let me just finish this night for goodness sake!!!

oh so i was sitting around listening to the stories but i also kinda wanted to go to the party, i heard music and what not...so i left and went back in. the one guy gave me his wristband to get in. 

i saw andy gould and his assistant and i actually did a shot with him from the ice shooter...it was a honey flavored..something. i said bye he gave me a kiss on the cheek, or the side of the cheek, you know how ppl do. i also had another gin and tonic and walked around saw hannibal talked to him but the gin made me feel loopy so i wasnt really making sense, plus i was tired. i think hannibal thinks im loopy i dont know!? i was talking to one of the girls who swallow swords she had dreadlocks, cool outfit. she made a joke, she seemed cool i was like, that is so cool what you do!!! i also talked to this other dude who was hanging around. reese came around since party was ending and hannibal made some comment..they joked about fighting or getting into it....eek!!! i kept wondering about hannibal since his stage persona is actually quite aggressive!??! when we were leaving tho he gave me a hug and side kiss.

ahh if he thinks im cray so what!? i just miss talking with ppl other than moss...with whom i have spent 3 days on end with NON STOP so any chance to talk to new people is good with me!! aight!??!

so brandon was hinting at his signed bottle of ron rum...of course moss can talk everyones heads off! we spoke with the flame-eater, who works in vegas. i asked if he heard of someone named 'diablo'. he didnt. there was a drunk girl there. 

finally we left. tiredness mixed with the effects of a strong drink...i told moss what moss always says about ron..."they dont laugh WITH HIM, they are laughing AT HIM!"

i said bye to brandon and his girlfriend, but i filed away that comment about 'running into crazies' and what not....

moss is another crazy, 'the cable guy' type. well cuz moss told me a joke i guess, he said, "he wanted to meet some girls (before he met his gf) but instead he met me!" he said in a high pitched voice..

see, i want to help moss become more self aware. i understand he wants to stand out, but at the same time..you know, be a bit more...self aware. yeah...

because tbh, its kind of embarrassing for me. and ppl always mistake me for his date, his girlfriend...and well, im not! im his FRIEND! and as his friend, i want to help him! 


well that was that day! ill write about the other days later. im hungry! oh btw, that pendant moss kept flashing at chris , was a keychain!!!! from when chris was on a radio station, with dj Cox

synch, when we were talking about that in the car today (cuz moss had ANOTHER keychain, U2 Pop!???! i have no idea!?? i asked about the radio station, just then a truck was in front of us, that said COX on it!))