i feel like an idiot. well, i woke up at 630 this morning, with mike. mike was all happy i was going to work, but i just had this bad feeling. berks and beyond is a temp job after all. sure it felt good to think i would actually start a job, so i warmed up the car and took off...(its far you know? well, like a half hour but kind of far for an 8.50 hr job)...so, while on my way up, i get a call and its them. its the guy who set me up yesterday. he said they don't need me. um...wow..ok!? he said to come in anyways to finish the direct deposit forms in case they get other assignments. i felt so stupid tho. well mike had to post, on my behalf, to facebook about me getting a job, and everyone liked and said congrats. uh, no...they just called me and told me they don't need me. so i look like a fool. especially in front of lincoln tech ppl, you know? why did i go to pharm tech school? anyways...so, i headed up there to do the direct deposit stuff, (dude i need to get my phone fixed it says no called ID anytime i get a phone call but i need a seperate phone to take care of this...and not my other cell phone bcuz that only has a few minute on it)....so yes, the guy told me that they called them last night to tell them they dont need another associate (why didn't he call and leave a msg for me then? weird..and surely it couldn't of been that late, if they called them during work hours. doesnt make sense. he called ay 7:25 am this morning, i was on the road...but he told me they called last week? im wondering if im on some sort of black list. it seems that way.) whatever....i just don't know anymore. mike was happy and told me he was going to get the tattoo (the one he was supposed to get me for valentines day since he didn't even get me anything. he said he was going to get me a gold-dipped rose but he didn't because we got in a fight because im not trying to get a job) well i AM trying to get a job! why hasn't chick fila (filet?) fila sneakers? remember those??? tsk i dont know...maybe they all read my blog. this is fucking ridiculous. oh but i do have to say, im glad i didnt work today because it would of ruined my UC benefits, once again. its just such a hassle going through all that...getting a job and then going through the trouble of waiting for them to get a letter from the job stating i dont work there anymore yadda yadda yadda. i just wish mike would leave me alone about getting a job. of course i want one!
i want a job. i like working. i like getting a steady income. so...i am going to donate plasma today i think. its 40.00. why not? im going to have breakfast tho. then perhaps apply at family thrift store since they are hiring too. oh God help me now! i call out for you. i need to do something with my life. this is utterly depressing! i can't...just live like this! doing nothing, having no balance, having no platform. being nobody. not being a contributing idiot to idiotic society. oh they cut the song off...EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM it was helping me feel upset...(where did i go wrong, how to save a life, by the fray...) ha! i put on vh1 since they play videos in the morning so this song is helping me feel sorry for myself.
yeah so...i am awake now...i need to eat then go do stuff today. i really wish mike did not post that. i understand he is happy for me and he does want me to work so that i can get myself nice things too. alright...enough bullshitting around on the internet. i need to get up and at em (lol) since i am awakes now.
what should i have for breakfast? french toast sticks?? i really ought to start eating healthy and working out tho. i want to be as skinny as anne hathaway in les miseables. (just kidding that commercial was just on. yes, its a COMMERCIAL! les miserables is a commerical commercial! a comical commercial!!!)
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