i cant go to canada now

I am upset. I was really looking forward to going to Montreal this weekend. I have been SO depressed lately, and a nice, relaxing trip to Canada would of been nice! Plus, I love poutine!!! I haven't been to Canada in years!??! Last time, was about...over 10 years ago. We all went, Sage, all of us (she was just a wee lil' tot then). I went with my cousin April too. And, I went bungee jumping! 

So, I commented on one of Schenley's posts, about cool, outdoor places to go to in Montreal. I am sure Lisa saw me comment about it, and decided she wants to go to Canada, so now, doofy Matt and Lisa have decided to go Canada, but they texted my parents to tell them that I will probably not be able to go. so now i am not going, but matt and lisa are going....real nice....why do they have to go? cant they just let it be? its not fair! are they gonna go and drink a bunch of beer with sabastien and shenley now? being all cool and fake and blehh im mad >:( i really am! i just wanted cobblestone and poutine!!! i miss canada too! and i want to see their baby as well!!! :D

I am pissed! Thanks to this FUCKING UPCOMING DUI...THAT DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN!!???! i dont even go to bethlehem!!! why the FUCK would i go all the way up there?? and i wanted to LEAVE AFTER FUCKING MCGRADYS! it was LAME!! im pissed....

 that didnt have to happen, i was really trying to do better for myself now i cant even go to canada! yes i am fucking PISSED! OK!??! WTF!!! why did someone get into a car accident before the exit to get back on 22?? why didnt i call mike up and have him meet up with me since he was in bethlehem that night? right, since sara does not like him, but sara thinks its fair for me to go all the way out there and do shots then drive all the way back? i was driving to mikes. i would of been fine, i mean, it is illegal to drive, but i got stuck in that mess and they ran up to my car...i am fucking PISSED!!

i really wanted to go to canada...now i cant! i will have problems at the border. but now lisa and matt are going to go, and this is one more problem to make ME look like a fuck up! before i got the dui, lisa was like ' what are you doing with your life?" well, i WAS working and saving up money!!! i was planning on saving money so that this summer i would of been able to get MY OWN FUCKING PLACE!!


now what!? NOW WHAT THE FUCK WHAT???? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!??! WHAT!?!??!? i have no fucking clue!!???! i have no fucking idea!!! i just....i have no idea! should i become a big drunk like deryk whibley, only to come out in need of fucking REHAB!??!? come on!!! right?? i want to MOVE FORWARD! I WANT A JOB! I WANT TO MOVE OUT! I WANT SUPPORT! 

im fucking PISSED!!! OK!??! IAM! now i am going to go to jail..(well, at least now i can get a spiderweb tattoo on my elbow..phuket!! ha!! who cares.............)

fines, loss of license, alchohol classes...AA (bleh)....community service...i am just getting over the last ones. plus i still have surcharges. 

i dont know...i need a JOB! how am i supposed to pay all this shit now!??? 

for me to get into canada, will be problems due to my record, HOWEVER!!!! if i get my tribal card back (that i lost when my wallet got stolen when i was on the bus back from the army), then....then i will be able to get into canada because it will show that my reservation IS in canada and they cannot deny me access to canada, so my parents contacted lac simon so that we can get my card and hopefully i can go when my mom goes back in july. 

i need to go. i just...need some peace. and poutine!!