So, if you do not doll yourself up for your guy, or a date...or a guy, yeah, well, pay attention to it! Means that you are not putting in the effort, means you are not attracted to them so you are not trying. Be with a guy that you do your makeup for, your hair, wear a cute outfit for. and not trying to sound anti-feminist, but if are doing whatever it is you do that makes you feel 100, then you know the guy (or girl) is the one who thrills you. you want to feel sexy, sensual, awesome! confident! beautiful! etc etc etc!!! ya know what i mean?

reason why i am saying this, well, alot of reasons. for a while...i cant really explain it all now. im going out with jay tonight. while he is a great guy and we talk about alot, im not doing my makeup or doing myself up. im wearing my glasses. this tells me i am not...well, im not attracted to him! im not attracted to mike anymore either.

so jimmy was here, he came up for a beer, but he ended up taking 4 of my beers!?? and he was never leaving!??!? he kept talking about talking and i was getting more and more irritated.

i just want a nap. i should of saved that beer for myself, hang out BY MYSELF TONIGHT. i dont know what jay and i are gonna do, go out to eat. but then...i dont want my neighbors seeing all these guys, like jimmy was here, now jay. its weird!? oh and last night i went to riverside with 3 guys. um, jimmy later was telling me those two guys were talking unsavory about me. i knew they were. they were the kind of guys who talk about what they want to do to girls. you know? jimmy told them to stop that tho. he said 'loris my friend. dont talk like that about her' .but he also went along with me being his girlfriend, because someone asked him if i was his girl, and he played along with it!? im not his girl!??

what happens when i go to the riverside party with mike now? imma look like a big HOE BAG! nawww it aint like that!?? i dont give a shit, but at the same time, i do. i worry.

its a normal thing. blahhh