poison cigarette

ok so....other day listened to podcast talking much about cake mention poison cake later i kept hearing cake on a family guy episode i think i got triggered to act like a nuthead...cuz i am.

also, got my paperwork my summons....1st offense PA so...........:/ hopefully the lawyer can help me perhaps i may be able to do the ARD program??? however my bac was pretty high....im so nervous.

i just want to get a job and work...save up my money..get my own place. thats all i wanted now i have to worry about fines and all this shit. i dont know....i feel like crap.

i can never win huh? what am i supposed to do? give up!?? i guess i have to do what i got to do right? shrug. i will get over it...i mean, its gonna delay a lot tho...which makes me feel depressed. i need a job, that is for sure. i just am not meaning to wake up TOO early!

i dont mind customer service or cashier job. i am just worried about applying now that i am amidst this mess. why!?? WHY!??

so....i started fifth season breaking bad. there is an episode where jesse was SET UP, but by whom? (wont spoil it) elaborate mind control plans for a specific moment, he was missing his POISON cigarette, so the cigarette was a set up (set up like in my life too POISON)....they kept saying poison! it made me think of when the one actor who plays gayle in the show, i saw him at the party so i heard them mention his character being killed off, so i had told him, i haven't gotten to that part yet, to which he replied, 'the question is, when do we get to YOUR part?" at the time i didn't really think anything of it, i was just like, 'ok...??' well, now in retrospect, he was referring to the poison in the cigarette, where jesse was SET UP!!! after i had that revolution, (he held up a bag with a cigarette in it), causing me to think set up....and then i realized the breaking bad party was at a masonic lodge! of course! next scene was when walt smashed the door to get into the lawyers office, and the overhead camera revealed the checkerboard MASONIC floor.

so i am like, WOW how do they do this!?? you know? other synchronicites occur as well not to mention songs communicating with me. its hard to explain, well, not really...i will just leave it at that.

well, i also think the universe is telling me i'm awesome. but it involves meticulous planning, just like the episode to play mind games with jesse so that they can use him...he even said, 'the brain comes up with these thoughts' or something like that??? 

im tired!!! im gonna go get some food.