sigh

sigh....its a rainy dreary day. it gets warm out, but its always cloudy. its never just a nice, clear sunny day. last night was the blood moon, but i did not get to see it. saturday i was invited to a pig roast, which would of been nice to of went, but i did not go. well, it was far and i had no one to drive me, (i would not drive my car that has a nail in the tire) that far, to go to a pig roast that would be over at 5 anyways....there will be more tho, at riverside, where i can just walk too! i need a job too. sucks sitting around not doing anything. oh, no, i didnt go to that job i was supposed too. waking up at 5 every morning is too hard for me. i hate waking up that early! i dont mind waking up at 7, but after the last job, i just dont want to work that early. i would be so tired after work i would always take naps. i mean, when i have my own place its fine, because i would come home, take a quick nap, make a healthy dinner, then go to the gym. its tough to do anything while i am at my parents, which is why i want to move out so bad. see, i dont do much on the weekends. in fact, i don't mind staying in on a friday night. i do not need to drive all the way to bethlehehm to go out! geez....i feel so stuck. i have no clue anymore!?? im stuck! and i want to start eating healthy. well, i need to go grocery shopping. i need to make a list of what to buy. and i can start walking every day (except for that dog that runs out of nowhere on river road!!) i was saying, i need a job, but hours i can handle, not early in the morning! and i do want to do more photoshoots, but i need to lose weight! i enjoy working out, i really do! but i am not motivated at all!! i need a JOB!!!! but then, when is my damn court date!?? i still haven't received the papers for my court date!???! I should of waited to pay the lawyer...perhaps i would feel more secure with more money in my bank account. what else? i do want to get more tattoos, and do something with my hair. i need to keep updating my tattoo wish list!

i want to cut more inches off my hair and get a perm or something, for volume. i wish i could use good shampoo and conditioner but the shower here SUCKS! i have to take a really quick shower. if i wash my hair it has to be a 2-in-1 otherwise it gets cold and i end up not washing out the residue which makes it greasy, or dandruff, or staticky, because i am not using good conditioner. i cant even shave really because the water stream is very weak and doesn't rinse anything away. ughh!! i just want my own damn place!!!!! FACK!!! 

what did i do...

- take care of taxes
- filled out medical paperwork and submitted it (also for housing assistance...)  
what i need to do
- get my tire fixed (nail in the tire)
- go grocery shopping
- start walking

TATTOOS:
(holiday tattoos)

shamrock, candy corn, valentines day hearts

small pizza slice rectangle, sushi roll, swedish fish, retro gumball machine

pinup girl/anime girl/my own drawing girl (??) left arm

ivy, bumbleebee, ladybugs, dragonfly (collarbone)

japanese cherry blossom (back)

so...yeah...........:/