superbowl.........a few things noticed. although this years katy perry performance was pretty lame and tame, it still had a bunch of occult themes to it, the harlot perry riding in on the dark beast, (shes a beast, we call her karma) we already know katy perry is all about the dark magick...the checkerboard and chess set, pawns......cosmic ley lines rituals..stargates.........missy elliot always pops out like she did with the bride and groom britney and madonna doing her thing, singing in reverse aleister crowley backwards....switch it and reverse it.........

child sacrifice moloch commercial nationwide dead kid pierce brosnan owl.......

also last quarter right before the patriots blocked that last play, stopping the seahawks touchdown, the camera angle had two of the patriots players standing side by side so that their numbers 6 were in view as 666, i also heard the announcer mumble something about a six year old, and he definately said the number six three times...(666)

i wish i can find this but im too lazy to look for images.

anyways, drinking makes me depressed. i always feel so lost and depressed the next day if i drink. i am sick of feeling this way. i had so much trouble getting sleep last night.

in fact, i did wake up on time, but my dad said the plow trucks did not plow so i called and said i would be late but he said to come in tomorrow  so i went back to sleep. i could of went to work late tho. 

i said second shift because i know how hard it is for me to go to sleep! plus it pays more 2nd shift.......

i need to start getting used to going to bed early tho. time to get into the swing of things again. serve my jail time JAIL can you believe it? well DRINKING is bad! mmkay??? i need to STOP IT! 

i just want to be happy. i want to get married and have a family and feel safe. i want to give my parents grandkids. 

something is not good. i have not had my PERIOD in over a month! i did take 4 pregnancy tests and all negative, still tho!???!

my nose just started bleeding out of nowhere this morning. i need to get my bloodwork again. 

anyways....i def need to work tomorrow!