btw, the reason why i DID NOT DANCE on stage at the freaking avns, was because i knew and felt like trash! i did not have money prior to this trip, and moss knew this. he knows how insecure and weird i feel when strange people approach me and act all targeter...and why they hell would i want to go to the avns when i did not have a hot outfit? even vivian went shopping for a new nice dress day of, but did i have the chance to!? NO! i wore a sloppy, ill-fitted dress!

i never wanted to go back UNLESS i look prime, and i even told him NO i do not want to go on the red carpet!!

i looked so ugly and plain and boring!

and when that girl grabbed me and made me go on stage, um, i did not feel confident and the shirt underneath me rolled up, and gave me a weird shape.

i did not not dance because i felt shy, it was because i felt EMBARRASSED!

but i guess that was the purpose huh?? because i always seem to talk bad about pornstars and strippers? not really!

i just fucking blog who cares! i dont hate anyone, im not a hater! girls who say they like hanging with the guys more should be investigated themselves. true chicas chum around with other chicas...right??

anyways