hi. im going to blog. i should try to sleep, but i just......gonna blog. so once again at the last minute, i was like, i dont know...i decided maybe it will be fun if i go to LA/las vegas before i am vindicted........or whatever. so moss kept bugging me to call him. he kept telling me to call him but i haven't had a chance to just relax and have a day to think about what is best. see, i had things to DO i dont think he UNDERSTANDS THIS! monday we went to the mall and i think we went to see night at the museum. tuesday i went to pburg mall and got the eiffel tower!! YAY oh did you see it on my youtube? i feel like i changed my future somehow, i altered it by actually cleaning my room. i feel like i gained a sense of being a person if that makes sense. i had that interview yesterday and they wanted me to start on monday!!! they wanted me to go to the orientation but of course moss bought the ticket for me LORI.
i really was going to wait until AFTER that interview to see the outcome and tell moss my final decision but he was so insistent on me CALLING HIM i was at the mall and doing things he is like call me lori! i was thinking, contemplating going to las vegas, but was not quite sure then i told my mom about it. she said well, make sure you are back for court.
then i just was like, i might as well go to the shooter jennings concert. why tho? ehhhhhhhh i....dont know!?? SHRUG oops shrug. his dad.........i was thinking i could ask him about the day the music died but to be honest its just gonna be like ok and im gonna go to sleep due to being so dang tired! i worked today, woke up early........came home and took nap.
hey so........flight leaves at 1pm which means it is best to get to newark airport an hour and a half before flight leaves (ugh hate fucking airports).........damnet! but yeah.......so it takes lets say, an hour and half to drive to the airport. sooo......lets see.......i want to get to the airport at 1130 right? 1130 to 1230 is one hour, yeah and extra half hour 1...so 1030 am...1030-1130 yawn
so, i should what, wake up..........erghhhhhhhhhhhhhh wake up when!? i should give myself an hour to get ready and get other stuff packed.
i hate this shit. i dont even feel like it. i have nothing! no money! no nice clothes. im just.......why the fuck do i even need to be there. its silly really.
i have a good job lined up for me, where i will be getting payed weekly, good checks i mean, for me it is. save up money. to me, going out to LA/vegas is not really important. why do i keep going there?
im dumb. i know i am.
:( if i wake up at 915 i guess...i can go downstairs eat, get my stuff together we leave at 1030. so that will be ok i suppose. sigh. LAMERS!!!!!!!
oh moss he wants to be the most dependable person in my life. he told me this.
why moss it is not a competition. i mean, i am not asking for dependable people, only myself. and my parents are. but yeah i mean, why does he feel this need to be 'most anything' i know, he wants to be so important and feel so important, i just wish he would realize that to me, LA and concerts, comedy shows.......it just.....its not me. it is not who i am.
i am just a simple, you know, very understated low key person. i do not get impressed. i mean, i appreciate things but.......that LA moss scene is not me! Moss is way too city LA scene. im not!
heh! i just, i want to work and stuff thats all. i dont care about being caught up in a crazy world with "wild and crazy' people! ha!
oh today was my last day at bon ton. it wasnt that bad, strangely enough i opened up a bonton account for a customer.....applause was blasted over the intercom. people were nice to me, i suppose. see, its not all bad and mean huh? is that the lesson i need to learn? first their sour then theyre sweet
mike is mad that i am going. of course. i would be pissed if he kept doing this to me. imagine, i mean, come on. i know we are not dating anymore. sigh. i miss being close to someone. i hugged him the other night and it felt so good. i love his body. he has the perfect body to hug. i like tall, meaty, nice arms, whatever. you know how you can hug someone and they just feel so nice and good? that is what i like.
oh gosh. i dont know!??! but yeah i love to just squeeze arms, and necks. i like meaty necks lol! but its sweet. and then i like to run my fingers through my babys hair! babys hair! i dont know. i want a job, a boyfriend. someone who really does love and care about me.
i dont care about being scene HA! i mean, i dont care about ........whatever! so, i wonder.........how this trip is gonna be . please, i am so not in the mood for any of those weird people. i just am not. i am a total pburg/easton new jersey girl. im totally pburg, i aint no hollywood hustla! im not a las vegas beezid. im not a hollywood city guy like moss is!
im not coooool like moss!
what do i need
shampoo.conditioner (cuz moss has all kinds of weird samples he steals from vegas hotels but no.....)
toothpase
um.....makeup.....hair straightener...perfume......brush....
I HAVE NO CLUE!!
im gonna be so ug this time around. fucking deal with it....
make sure to throw mud pies when you spot me, cuz yeah......
um........i need to start this job. i have court and then, i really dont know.
jiminy cricket.
i better go to sleep its almost 1 am now.
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