Monday, April 23, 2012
Just a question:
Is it normal that I have some jealousy issues here? While I know creating DID and identity disorder, via project monarch or whatever is wrong, i just....i see that minnie mortimer, her style is SO dull, and dual..duality stripes, but thats all she does!? its all just, striped dresses...just very plain and boring. she was 'programmed' to be a designer tho, so she naturally makes it. i mean, all of them, programmed to be someone important, ie...Fashion Designer. Actress. Philanthropist. Doctor. Psychologist. Singer. Country Singer. Lawyer. ok? these people are all programmed to be successes, according to whatever....its like...before i knew about this, i thought it would make a good sci-fi book, where one can program themselves to be whatever they like/choose. Ok? Like I said, I always wanted to be a fashion designer! Ok? I always wanted to be an author, ok? Its just not fair really, like the weezer song states, its something that your BORN into, and i dont stand a chance...(but for real, i am against the torture techiques) i was just wondering is it normal to think that way sometimes? and then you see all the beta sex kitten imagery? what makes them so hot that a normal girl cant be? ughh although...you know, i want to really investigate more. i want to see alter switches in front of my eyes....i need to really take a shower tho...
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yes i agree i often think so and some of them are not hot im sorry they are not look at Ke$ha for example!!!! im sorry i had to.....no i dont get it why some are pushed forward like they are and some seem to get famous for doing nothing these days except be on reality tv..yes when i was a kid i used to want to be a singer or in a girl band or model, actress, and its true i never could have made it....even if we are monitored somehow and i think we are a little what is the reason some can make it and some dont?....no i dont be saying that the programming and torture thing is good...but i dont even know if i believe the extent sometimes i have heard about it doesnt seem possible to me really it dont....yes i mean you get to meet up with celebs sometimes yes it would be great if you could witness this for yourself really it would....do you think its possible?....i dunno like for example my cousin that had the disney playroom and is a designer now i shown you and shes dead pretty too..but obv it was determined she would make it cos from she was first at college still studying they did magazine articles on her being the 'next big thing' and had paul wellar daughter model her clothes...now she got that butterfly and doll stuff and it was sponsor by the awards show...i mean why her?....and tbh i rarely seen her as a kid but few times i did or stayed at her house i loved to be there it was much nicer there than at my house...i hated my life from as little as i can remember....my cousin seem normal tbh when i met her again (we never saw each other from i was 8 to age 26 she is 4 years younger...at my other cousins bar mitzvah she seem normal...i dunno i think my personality is more fucked than her and if anyones got split personalities its me...tbh from all i can see is she had very nice stable bringing up...had everything on a silver plate...wealthy family...went uni...family helped her..shit i was on the street at 14 and on the game at 16 then in prison at 19 with 2 kids....and all the fucked up man drama...shes just had one steady boyf for years now......??????i dunno wot to think tbh...no i know what you mean..like how come we couldnt make it as models or actresses or singers or something...shit all i dreamed when i was little was being on stage i used to dance from age 2 and loved the shows it was not nice really when i got to 13 and just sort of 'knew' it was never gonna happen for me i wouldnt get nowhere with any of it singing dancing acting modelling....i was 13 on some agency all i got was the 'promotional work' basically other girls got photo shoots i got to do waitressing at events and hand out leaflets outside shops trying to get people to get mobile fones cos they were 'new' back then....they always said my hips was too big...i dunno i know i dont photo good anyway most times...i think now i have to write really motivate myself to write cos its all i have left of anything to dream for but i have no motivation to really do so....i just feel uninspired...and tierd oh so tierd...
ReplyDeleteyes and those modeling agencies that say they can get your kid all kinds of jobs, but never do. all they do is take your money. they know people want to be in commercials, acting, modeling, so they know how to con people to get their money. you know, agencies like barbizon? my sister and i went to some modeling and finishing school, she went for acting, nothing came out of it of course. this was when we were younger, i was 15. what else? yes they push who they want to be succesful, they push the ones who can serve their agenda. personally, i find it hard to believe all of them, (like snooki and kesha) are mk'd...yet, people try to say they are why because snooki is an orphan? its just hard for me to believe that snooki is none other than someone who has a 'louder than life' persona and she plays well for trash reality shows. i doubt she has been mkd' i dont think most of them are...i mean, even you and i have had strange experiences and i can show pics where one could say it is symbolic, but it doesnt mean i have been mk'd....lots of celebs have peculiarites...i dont know tho? thats why i want to research and investigate!?? and like you said about your cousin, you would of noticed things, and you didnt. they were a good family...you would of picked up on anything odd or mk'ish...:/ your story is interesting tho...life is...and just because you didnt have the life your cousin had doesnt mean you should feel upset. i know its easy to get upset and feel like things arent working out, but life is a constant journey and we learn more every day. live in the moment, and understand, this is us, now. living, breathing, growing...!!!
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