Hi, so.....I have been doing some thinking. Well, I just would like to say a few things!!! First of all, I went to the mall today. Whenever I go to the mall, it is actually inspiring to me. Why? Well, because, just going into stores and looking at clothes, that makes me feel better. It makes me want more for myself. Yes, material items, but who cares? It feels good to go shopping and have nice things! My parents came over and we went to Palmer Park Mall, so my mom and I stopped in the Victoria's Secret store. I really, really need nice new underwear! Wait, lingerie sounds better! Mostly, new bras, panties, etc LOL!!! I want some new sweats, yoga pants, sweatshirts, etc...new sneakers, work-out clothes, new shoes, new make-up, A NEW HAIRSTYLE!!! Yes, I need to chop a few inches off! It's all dead at the ends, and I want my hair to look and feel fresh and healthy, and light! I want to blow dry it out and make it nice and bouncy and shiny!!! I also need new clothes! I tried on a few dresses, Calvin Klein ones. They look and fit great!!! Especially for that one black dress a gal needs, as well as other elegant dresses. I did take a pic of the L.B.D. (little black dress, if you don't read Cosmo!!) haaaa!!!!! *sips martini*** here it is: https://twitter.com/lulaberri/status/233328620486156288/photo/1 https://twitter.com/lulaberri/status/233328722315452417/photo/1
Ooh, girl! You know, the LBD!!! and a nice set of heels, one needs! SNAP!!! but yes, being at the mall sort of boosted my mood and made me think to myself, "I deserve nice things! I deserve to look good and to feel good about myself! why not!??" my mom was like, 'you shouldn't shop in the JR department anymore!? whaT!???! i dont! i still have style tho! i was looking at the jrs department, (i guess it was jrs,) because they had yoga pants. but so what? i dont like old lady boring style! yes im a woman now! HA! srzly, i thought to myself! i had a weird dream where i was younger, but i knew i was younger. i was still in high school. i was standing with old classmates, and a storm occurred. we all transformed to when we were in high school. i was younger, but it felt so long ago. i felt that innocence i used to have, even in my dream, i felt it. its been long forgotten. i was 14 in my dream. that was the age i started to feel like i was attractive. before that i was awkward! AWKWARD!! i had braces and glasses, but at 14 i started to wear make-up and I started getting attention etc...but in my dream, i felt like i was stuck. like i knew i had to find a way to get back to my real age, now..(34 ok!???!!)....i was in my high school, searching for my locker. my friend said, 'your still a virgin' in front of a high school teacher that wanted me...i dont know why i dreamed that!!???! its things that sculpt you i guess, when you are younger, these feelings etc...whatever!??? but anyways, i can never find my locker, (i have dreams like this alot)...but then i realized, my car is parked in the parking lot, (from my real age) so i went to look for it. well, it was not in the parking lot. my car was simply not there, because i was 14, and i was didnt have a car!? i saw some classmates, (who was with me during the storm) they asked me where i was going, i said, "im going back to the future, im 34 years old)...*i heard them say, "i had that dream too" AHHHHHH AHHHH GUESS WHAT!??? on tv just now, a commercial just said, "Its not a dream" FOR ReAl...
ok so, my car was not in the parking lot....(whoa whoa whoa!! a weird narrative voice just came on...((not a commercial voice, a soothing hypnotic voice)) it said, "you just saw a preview...." then i looked up...it said on the screen WAKE UP in capital letters!!!?????!!!! *it was a commercial for WAKE UP ...in lancaster coutny, jsut seems weird*** trippy right???
hmm....wow! anyways, i saw a guy so i was explaining to him how i dont belong there....during that time...i need to go back home, but there was a carnival, and it immediatly captured my attention. i heard carnival music and saw rides, and i was like, "oh my gosh, look! rides!" like a little kid! and i didnt care at that point to go back to the future. i even saw fireworks in the sky and i was fascinated by them! i felt this completely nostalgic feeling overcome me...but a feeling only a dream can invent. i dont know? and i did not WANT to go back to my real age and place...why? why tho? why would i want too?? i can start over! i can be young again, and start over! i can make decisions to help guide me to a better life!!!!!!
i woke up after that. it was just a dream.......
pt 2 of what i wanted to write about...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!
I WENT TO THE MALL today with my sister we was checking a few shops she wanted to take some shoes back to zara they were liek the ugliest shoes i have seen like grandadd slippers with shiny bits on but whatever floats ure boat yeh well they wouldnt swap em shes daft she had no receipt and had WORN them outside!!
ReplyDeletei felt like that i want to buy nice stuff i want to feel good again i felt soooo awful today i didnt get in the shower til 4 and had to rush i had nothing i felt good in so i threw on a tracksuit and put a bandana scarf round my hair i felt gross i wanted to look nice like the weather cheered up and the girls today was in dresses and sandles and stuff and i looked like a dumb buttas nerd ugh i feel so ugly...
yeh i hear u i remember feeling young and hot and being out and getting attention and now omg its like another life...yes i was horrid til 14 then i fixed up then got run down again but in my early to mid 20's was a decent time for me looks wise now i just feel wash washed up as we say in London i feel terrible i dunno also im loosing my london accent and slang being in country i dont know how i feel about that i just dont know how i feel about that...
i wanna feel hot again i know to go back to the teens those days oh my
ugh damn
we seen Ted today Seth McFarlane does the voice and the main girl character is called Lori!?
yeah when i went to the mall, i was just wearing these old denim capris, and this ugly shirt, no make up. i felt gross today, and i see really nice clothes. i havent went shopping in so long. why dont you get some new clothes?? that always helps you feel better. just getting something nice for yourself helps alot. which is why i want to do something with my hair. have your daughter do your hair and put makeup on you.
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