sober

sober. so you know how i said moss said he can get me on the rehab show? yeah....he did. lately i have been considering it, so i asked moss to call dr drew. now he says to me, "

You just mail that check Wed. Fawn.

Drew wants people who want to get PERMANENTLY sober !!

ie...NEVER drink again. Never, ever

 

 (BTW - I still love you)

 

moss annoys me! the way he words things, pisses me off. he doesnt have to say , never drink again. NEVER EVER! shut up!

 

he also tells me about that taylor swift song, with me and mike. we are never ever ever getting back together WE

so i have felt very depressed. thinking back on my life, no good has ever, ever, ever came out of drinking. i like to tell myself i can be cool, chill whatever, but how can i be cool, chill, whatever, if im stuck drinking by myself? i used to hear that george thorogood song and i would be like, 'ugh why would you want to drink alone" i drink alone due to circumstance. like this saturday. mike made it seem like we were going to hang out so we bought beer. i hate when i end up drinking by myself because i do things i dont want to do, like drunk posting (who knows what cringe-worthy things i wrote, nor do i want to know!), or, i text and call ppl. pissed! then mike yells at me holds me down i get banned permenently i feel so depressed lost and alone, i even asked a question to that podcast thing, only to feel like a bigger loser because they say something about the strangers and creeps, (i have asked lots of questions about wanting to hear about the creeps but then to feel like one?) to feel like the sort of lonely, stupid, loser, alchohlic woman on the internet!??? ugh i do hate myself!!!!

anyways!???!!!, i saw on google sometihng about little nemo...(i also saw that plymptoon guy and his crew remade one of the movies)

hmm but i have been thinking, (ugh i even see myself on this family video my dad made of lisas shower, its nice but i CRINGE seeing myself!!!! this isnt helping me! plus i feel gross but i hate taking showers here. the water stream is so light. i just hate myself! i dont like myself!!! )

 

anyways i woke up and was watching garfield and one episode they needed to take a bath, (garfield, nermal ??, and odie because they fell in mud). so while in the bathtub they went underwater to an imaginary land of bubbles, loofahflies, wind up sharks, and mermaids. it just made ...

 

oh actually, im kind of interested in seeing myself on camera. you know? im not on this video much but its kind of neat to see myself. 

 

so yes i can focus and write more stories ...haha! my hair looks so shiny tho (my real hair)...HAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i want to write childrens stories! i can do it! trust me! i used to write childrens books back when i was a kid!!! GOOD KINDS TOO!!

 

a few years ago i made a story for sage when she was little. i illustrated it too. it was called mermaids and fairies. the fairies were jealous of the mermaids, because they could swim, so the fairies thought if they cut their wings then they can turn into mermaids. but they didnt. they were just small creatures without wings. so they had to turn into workers, or something...

WHO KNOWS!?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im derpressed!!! :(