Hey!

is me again...hmm...so, i went for my parents for a ride earlier. well, my dad told me that today we were going to tow the car to the garage, (oh do i MISS driving yall!) yeah, well, THAT didn't happen! my dad said the car was not charging so he is charging it now. idk? so i had to get out of the house. so we went for a ride to see the wreckage sandy did up in the mountains towards merrill creek. lots, i am talking LOTS! (almost like a tornado thundered through) trees fell over all in the woods. their power is STILL out in fact!!! we saw workers up their with their trucks etc...crazy! then we drove to washington then headed out towards belvidere. we saw a little cute hot dog truck (i left my cell at home charging), so i couldn't take pictures. my dad took pics off his camera, maybe i will upload later..we had a hot dog and a soda. then we saw a little farmers market stand, which sold pumpkins, gourds, apple butter, sausage, bacon, scrapple, zucchini, jams, salsas, maple syrup, handmade soaps etc. my mom and i had some free samples, (pecan butter, pumpkin butter etc and saltines), we also got some hot spiced mulled cider! YUM!!! oh so my dad always listens to the church music, he plays sundays for the church band, and thursdays he practices, so he is always playing their worship music. i mean, i just miss driving! and listening to my music!!! ya know? so we drove back home so he could go to practice. ok so now, im going to RANT! jimmy is always texting me, to come down and drink with him. i never do tho. i dont mind relaxing on the delaware, next to a fire and having a few beers, but i also need RESPECT! you know? i can be friends with a guy and chill with them. adam and i used to go to the strip club in fact or the casino, it would be cool. he never made me feel uncomfortable..the thing is, jimmy is always texting me to come down, (most of the time he is drunk texting me innapropriatly so i just ignore it but it is very annoying!) so i don't really go to hang out with him. well, he told me tonight they are having a fire, i said, i think im going to stay in tonight. he texts me back, 'thats ok we have girls coming down'...

ok um.....gee, thats nice! nice to see how you think of me? is it wrong that i got offended? i shouldn't, because i don't give him much thought, but that made me feel like, wow! i was like, 'ok well i dont want to feel weird so...' and the times i do hang out with him and there are other girls around, it just feels weird, you know? awkward...

yeah so....thats that! tomorrow is friday. sigh. i miss having a damn life, a job! doing meaningful purposeful things! memories, feelings for life! BEING somebody!!!?? i need my car! i need a job! i need to save up money

i want to be more creative too. i miss being artistic, creating etc. life goes by so quickly. you know? we went to hobby lobby the other day, i want to start painting, doing mosaics, all of that stuff! i colored in a velvet thing....i want to draw, paint, write, and create, and do flash animations BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!