i have insurance to pay now, my nj surcharge...phone bill. after i left housing i walked to shannans since i left my beats speaker there.
shannan was at uncle jerrys and ethyls. Ethel. idk. she was drinking there. so she was like, come over later. i went home and i ate, took a shower, i also took a nap. then i was just going to walk down there and tell her if she wanted to drink some wine to walk up. but i was not going to hang out at her house. id rather be home. but on the way i thought i saw genesis, and she recognized me. she was pointing and saying hi. i saw shannan was drinking a pony rolling rock beer at kevins. she said that uncle jerry tried to strangle her. he was wasted drunk and tried to strangle her because he wanted her to get him pot or something. who knows? so shannan made her way to kevins. she kept talking about jeffery, and i was confused. i guess jeffery is jake, the guy that is now living with her. she calls people two differnt names. uncle jeff is actual leroy (or some name), moses is mike, jeffrey is jake, keith/kevin...so weird!??! so..he offered me a beer so i had one. some crackhead type woman from here in the projects came up, trying to sell oxy's and what not. i was holding back my laughter. im like, 'wtf is this for real?" she had oxys, blues...idk..shannan was examining them and knew what they all were. and this was out in daylight. and this woman was moving around like a meth head too, you know how they have that movement? oh you know that video on youtube, the one where the lady is moving all crazy like in the grocery store and some guy was filming her. someone came into walmart like that, a while back. she was with some old guy and they were buying lingerie. but she was moving like in that video, ill find it and post it
oh that video is actually at a walmart! WOW!!!
but this lady didnt move that bad, but she still zipped in and out to show the drugs to the guy, this in front of people out on the street right? shannan started saying to her, 'you used to be so pretty. now youre an addict. you can see your skin from where you are picking at it."
i have seen this woman before. she is a drug addict. smh. he didnt buy anything but i heard shannan rambling on about something. thats all it is, listening to her ramble. i dont feel comfortable hanging out with them. even tho he is really cool. i guess hes back with his ex, but shannan and him like to talk about how they have this great bond. so his beer ran out. she did a shot of vodka and gave us pizza, (i didnt do any shots. PUKE!). so then he rolled a little joint and we smoked up. we sat outside and smoked and i brought down my wine. we had some wine and chilled outside. some guy needed to use a phone so he could call a homeless shelter, his mom kicked him out. also, the guy who is living with shannan, jake, came over he said he needed a phone to call a homeless shelter. i thought he was upset and wanted to get out of shannans to find a homeless shelter. somehow this kid is staying at shannans now. kevin kept trying to tell shannan its messed up that she has so many guys around her kids. moses/mike was living there too for a while remember? she calls this kid her son. she was all drunk and kept talking about how he was the son and kevin is the dad and the self alleged bipolar neighbor was the grandmother. aye yi yi! here i am talking about people behind their backs. shannan talks about me behind my back all the time.
i guess jake is helping babysit so that shannan can have her 'me time'. still tho. kevin was telling her its not right for her little daughters to see so many male figures around, LIVING there! and ryan is living there too but still??
then as we were sitting out, kevin brought out his guitar and was jamming, and of course shannan had to sing. not belting out tunes his guitar was quite loud. my neighbor phyliss kept yelling out the window about how it sounds like a concert. after a while tho, i started to get bored and wanted to go home, plus i didnt really want to give shannan all my wine. i dont mind giving kevin any since he always hooks me up with cigarettes, beer, pizza etc. shannan does cook sometimes. well tomorrow our picnic is planned someone better have some food to bring. my neighbors joe and joyce, shannan, her kids, my parents, lil lila, maybe kevin, and mike is coming over. but who is going to buy all the food???!? ya know? shannan is the one with all the food stamps!
but yeah after a while of hearing just guitar and singing, i wanted to go home. i mean, if anything i wanted to talk, and it was loud. it was cool, but yeah...thats enough singing and guitar for me. see, for me, i cant start singing along and be entertained. well shannan was more drunk than any of us. and she has nothing to do at home so shes happy to be around kevin, who she is attracted too. im not sure what the deal is with them but he is back with his ex. whatever!
so i went home. i didnt even drink anymore i just made food and had water and watched the founder on netflix. tomorrow is the picnic so i didnt want to drink too much and get hungover and not able to function or feel normal.
hopefully the picnic will be a success tho! HAHA! i WILL take videos too! LOL! I will post!
project livin, (oh shannan actually was singing green acres is the place to be! FARM living is the life for me!)
also shannan said she could be a lounge singer. she says shed love to work at a speakeasy and be the lounge singer. she mentioned the speakeasy in bethlehem, (which ive been too which is called the library), but she never has. its cool because its first a library, or its called the bookstore. its fashioned to look like a bookstore but then you go through a wall of books to get into the speakeasy type place which is dark. takes a while to get adjusted too. this is not a new concept. theyve been doing this in hollywood for years. i also tried to mention a piano bar. kevin wanted to hear about it. i asked if theyve ever been to a piano bar. mallory and i used to go to the one in hollywood all the time. there is
a guy playing piano on a grand piano and there is a bar around it so people can sit and drink and listen. so synchronicity, when i got home, i put on the founder, (founder of mcdonalds GOOD movie! with michael keaton), one scene, they were at a piano bar!!
but yeah...oh i have more to say real quick.
i see moss'es chat thing blinking..ughh
so, the other day mike said we have nothing in common so why are we still hanging out. that friday, that guy john msgd me on fb out of nowhere. the guy i knew from the airport who was a tsa agent then a cop now a security guard. i mean, ok. so he suggested hanging out. but then he said, 'maybe i;ll kiss ya'. um..no! as soon as you say cheesy kindergarten shit like that, its like...wtf? the other cop i was talking to last year, (remember? hes a cop that lives here we were supposed to go out), said that to me. 'i wanna kiss you.' what the fuck is that childish shit? and you think thats gonna work on me?
oh my god no! i dont care how cute you are or what? thats just so weird to say?!?? i dont think its cute. maybe girls like shannan do, but i dont ha!
i did not hang out with john tho. see the thing is, if i think he actually might like me or be interested, and respect me, then yeah maybe. but if he just wants to hang out with me because hes hoping to hook up, then no. you know? whatever.
an old guy i used to hang out with/hook up with wants to see some concerts with me. hes into like, metal and what not, so its metal concerts. AJ. i actually moved to gettysburg to roommate with him, but it was so weird. but he was always cool. i might go check out a concert.
but as far as dating someone...even someone from my past, that i was comfortable with, i still feel used to mike. i just...its hard to get used to someone else when you have been with one person for so long. ive been with mike almost all through my 30s basically. i was 32 when i met him.
well anyways, thats enough, 'dear diary' for me.
lata!
OH BTW: teen titans had skyfyre with different personalities, she love her memory and went around kissing all kinds of men and boys. BETA PROGRAMMING! and then i heard a cartoon say, "Do what you want! whatever makes you happy!" THEOLOGY CROWLIAN SHIT! church of satan do what thou wilt
also, in the founder movie, theres one point where he is in front of masonic symbols, even going to the shriners and freemasons. so...idk, i mean, mcdonalds.
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