synchronicites and stuff

i know it is getting late, and i have to wake up for this really annoying job tomorrow, but i want to write a blog about the 'set up the synchronicities' and all of that. why? oh...who the FUCK knows!?? i do put too much energy into all of this. lets begin, shall we!?

friday night...(no rehashing tho!!!)...actually....saturday night, i saw the movie 'non stop'. now, before the movie, i didnt think anything awry about my friday night. i was flogging in misery after mollys (flogging mollys!? ) whats flogging mean? 

i cannot rehash or i will feel suffocated. nope not gonna DO IT!!! damnet life! 

(i have my own ulterior plans. i am not as nice as i portray myself. i have a backup fuel tank (idk LOL)...to keep me going. i cannot give up! i just cannot do it! i want to obtain something more then what i keep allowing myself to be stuck in! LIMBO!! i have been stuck 'in the middle' for too long! i need to JUST CLIMB OUT OF THIS LIMBO! i have a dark side. i pretend i am sweet and nice, but i am not. i am emotionless. i am careless, reckless. i pretend i admit to my problems, but do i really!??)

I prayed to God. He answered me last night. It truly made me cry. I felt his love for me as a father does for their child. I want to welcome the Lord into my heart, to guide me, to help me live life the way He wants me too! I want to be an inspiration! I want to share my story!

so during this movie, what made me start questioning Friday night were a few things...

first of all, the character "Marx" (?) is an air marshall. air marshall. he studies us, and he have no clue who he is? he knows who we are, but we do not know who he (or she..) is....((kind of like, big brother?)

the term 'big brother; was used in the movie too. the movie theater reminded me of a plane too, with the seats. i was wondering, 'are there any "air marshalls' here, amongst us, in this crowded theater!?

SPOILERS!!! 

so, as far as subliminal msgs towards me...the one pilot was poisoned. ohkay!???! the air marshall was a 'paranoid schizophrenic alchohlic' (sort of like how i am going to sound or do sound, plus i got a DUI, ranting all over facebook about being an alcohlic! whats up with that!?? am i falling into some sort of trap? am i really that predictable?

when i was driving in the car, i heard the spanish version for the baby bash song, 'is this an illusion, that i have in my heart?" that song, tu amor...illusion eh?

in the movie, julianne moores character says, 'control is an illusion'.

is it? is control an illusion!???

i noticed a few things tied into the malaysian flight, yet i am sure no one else in the theater took note of that! one of the characters said, 'you are the air marshall! you represent the government! you are supposed to protect us!" (like the government tricking us! fooling us) there is also a part where the news twisted everything around, and made him look like a paranoid schizo alchohlic (he lost his daughter to cancer
she gave him a ribbon (ribbon programming?) take note of the cancer thing...ill come back to that later...

the news frenzy, surrounding this missing malaysian flight. even fox news was talking about how all the news media ((cnn)) is talking about the missing plane! a news journalist had quit over the coverage this missing plane is getting! this is a distraction! and russia in the meantime is help ushering in the third world war! armagedon!

they even mentioned how this "missing plane" is keeping us from the CIA SPYING ON US!!! oh yeah! but thats old hat now! we all know this! right? cuz they are blatantly telling us!

the air marshall representing government, who was the hijacker the media portrayed him to be??? get it? hidden in plain site! (SPOILER) even the ((albeit movie bad guys turned out to be a black guy and a white guy DUALITY BLACK/WHITE, YIN YANG, CHECKERBOARD, MASONIC! COME ON NOW!! DONT YOU SEE??? 

up down as above so below!!!

'set up' the one guy said he was 'set up' to approach the air marshall he was offered 100.00 ((targetted individual. ))

he was set up to approach him with some banter. friday night some guy approached me with some banter, about if i saw anyone taking beer from his pitcher??? weird!?? gino said he was trying to hit on me. now im like, i bet he was just SET UP! 

no one sees that this missing plane is part of the plan tho!?? come on! seriously!??!?

 what else....yeah so...a few synchronicities. i was saying how i wanted to stop drinking, and the news reporter goes, "yeah do it" then i was like, sign! then a commercial, which uses the song 'signs signs everywhere signs'

SNL was on. drake was guest did a skit about being black and jewish. repeat. earlier in the week (pre 3rd dui) i posted about maybe being black and jewish (im not tho...).....also, heard a joke about a 'big brother' on SNL...

before that, a show was on...they were actually talking about the illuminati, and the new world order, they were talking about everything i research and study! then they said the armageddon and they used Bible verses, and said how we need to give our lives to Jesus Christ! at that moment, it was exactly what i needed to hear! i prayed for a SIGN or answers, and He did answer me! it helped ok?

so, about the missing malaysian flight, someone had mentioned the wheel of fortune.

i remember i had taken a picture by the wheel of fortune pinball machine.

here is what someone wrote about the wheel of fortune (also, remember the wheel in the sky/fast and furious/paul walker/wheel of fortune, fast and furious CARS DRUNK DRIVING DUI!??!



he Number 10 - "Wheel of Fortune."

Symbolized as the "Wheel of Fortune". It is a number of honor, of faith and self-confidence, of rise and fall; one's name will be known for good or evil, according to one's desires; it is a fortunate number in the sense that one's plans are likely to be car­ried out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi9sLkyhhlE

Spinning Wheel - High Quality Version

The song of Blood, Sweat and Tears named Spinning Wheel. Check out my other music videos!

here are the lyrics to the song:

 What goes up, must come down  ((as above so below?))
Spinnin' wheel, got ta go round
Talkin' 'bout your troubles it's a cryin' sin ((ive been posting up and down facebook like its a crying sin i got pulled over)
Ride a painted pony,
Let the spinnin' wheel spin ((wheel of fortune))

Ya got no money, and ya
Ya got no home
Spinnin' wheel all alone
Talkin' 'bout your troubles and ya
Ya never learn  (true dat)
Ride a painted pony,
Let the spinnin' wheel turn

Did ya find a directing sign  ((yes))
On the straight and narrow highway?  ((yep!))
Would you mind a reflecting sign
Just let it shine, within your mind
And show you the colours that are real.  ((flashing cop car lights))

Someone is waitin' just for you  ((the cops were!))
Spinnin' wheel spinnin' to
Drop all your troubles by the river side  ((jimmy said i should of  just walked to riverside))
Catch a painted pony
On the spinnin' wheel ride...huh

Someone's waitin' just for you
Spinnin' wheel's spinnin' true
Drop all your troubles by the river side
Ride a painted pony,  ((like in a carousel))
Let the spinnin' wheel fly.

when the one cop had to go through my phone to call my parents to get me, he had this weird smirk on his face. cell phone equals invasion of privacy aka big brother. he knew who i was. hence the smirk. 

what if all that was set up? cuz they knew i was out. why was there a bunch of bright lights blocking the way to get back? 

i fell right into it. 

no i am not blaming anyone, but still. now im in hallows way....and in a moment i will feel like i cant breathe. it will happen.



he Number 10 - "Wheel of Fortune."

Symbolized as the "Wheel of Fortune". It is a number of honor, of faith and self-confidence, of rise and fall; one's name will be known for good or evil, according to one's desires; it is a fortunate number in the sense that one's plans are likely to be car­ried out. 

 so anyways...i feel depressed and sort of hopeless now. i have no clue what is going to happen to me. jail? no money? no place of my own. no good job. what!??

i aint blaming anyone tho. i just want to be sober and be an inspiration. i am so sick of this job tho. i dont want to DEAL WITH IT!!! A WHOLE WEEK OR WORK WENT TO GETTING MY CAR BACK FROM THE TOWERS, AND I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE THAT CAR FOR MUCH LONGER ANYWAYS! 

am i missing anything else? yeah probably...i have to go to bed tho...


oh yeah, the cancer. it said on the news how a kid with cancer, even had no hair (his daughter liked ribbons because it represented the hair she wished she had) he had a BIG BROTHER program help him. he had a MOVIE THEATER party for him and a bunch of friends that night.

i mean, it is touching. poor child, no child deserves cancer. they are innocent children. and look at me, driving around after drinking. what if i crashed into that car, with that kid, with cancer? what if i had killed an innocent child, who had a far more difficult life!?? and me, driving around like a reckless, self absorbed, CHILD!?? you know! WAKE UP! 

this ISNT FUNNY!!!!

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MYSELF! CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION! WAKE UP!

i cannot afford to feel sorry for myself! look at that child, sweet and happy, enjoying a party at the movie theater (i just thought it was weird how it was at a movie theater the same night reference was made to his daughter who had cancer)

but i cannot feel sorry for myself! i CHOSE to drive ((ACK THEY KEEP SAYING BIG BROTHER ON THE NEWS WHY!??? they are interviewing basketball team they keep saying big brother tho!??))

yes i chose to drive! i wasnt forced too! i did it! now i must pay the consequences! i cannot feel sorry for myself! i am selfish! i am self absorbed! i am an adult! what if i crashed and killed a CHILD!??! and INNOCENT CHILD!!! AND HERE I AM, ALL WORRIED ABOUT ME! WORRIED ABOUT THE FINES...ACTING LIKE IM A HERO, OVER SOMETHING LIKE CHOOSING TO DRINK AND DRIVE! I AINT NO HERO! I DID IT! I COULD OF HURT SOMEONE! I DONT NEED WORDS OF SUPPORT I NEED TO GROW UP! I NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID! I NEED TO STOP FEELING SO FUCKING SORRY FOR MYSELF!!! GROW UP LORI! SERIOUSLY