the dr just called and left a msg (but it was no caller id so i did not answer it) she says that my bloodwork has gotten worse!?? i have been taking my medication as instructed...50 mcg. she is getting me too worried. i have no idea what is going on now? am i going to die because that is how she is making me feel. i have went months without taking my meds and i was able to survive. i fucking dont know!??! maybe i need another blood transfusion!?? how much bloodwork am i going to get? my veins are not giving up blood anymore!!??! maybe because.......i have no idea!?? i just dont!??! i had bloodwork done yesterday, right? yeah!!??! monday!!?? maybe because i drank and got fucked up on saturday!?? i cant see clearly tho. i think my contact lenses are too strong!! i need a good pair of glasses.
i also am getting sick of being around people, but i am in panic mode.
i have no idea what to do anymore! i need a job, but i want a job where it is just a simple job. i dont want to work somewhere where i am going to feel paranoid!
what should i do!???????????????
i dont know anymore!!?? i think im going to get a string of panic attacks or something!! that is how i feel!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant SEE CLEARLY!
its like i see crossed when i look farther than the laptops.
so i need to go back to the hospital now
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