tired

i am tired, but i am also feeling better. im not sure if it has to do with the meds or what, or maybe that i had gotten my paycheck today? i mean, i am happy getting some means of an income. i just wish i didnt have to deal with this dui shit. i just want to do good in life. thats all! i feel like i am losing weight! i want to be healthy and lose weight because i look and feel much sexier! i look fine when i am thinner.......um...but yeah i also need a new hairstyle. i am hungry. i like rye toast..or toast dipped in porridge. i like that word, porridge! i want to start mall walking too that means going to the mall early in the morning and fast walk in the hallways. and eat more healthy! how should i do my hair? i want to like......cut it, and maybe highlights or a perm or something?

oh great. guess what. ughhhh...we have company. again. aunt sally aunt joyce april and mary and caleb...i think. its fine, but they always visit. its like...i just need a break! and do my own thing. i dont want to worry about family anymore! its not fair!

im always around my parents.

tonight i sort of felt like going out...i havent went out and actually enjoyed myself in so long!??!

its like, i want to go out, have fun, dance you know!?! its boring hanging out with mike. he just...i dont like being treated like shit. and he gets tired and goes to sleep and i dont like staying up and drinking by myself and hanging out online by myself,

i sometimes hang out with jay but i dont know, i want to go out! i just want to joke around! flirt! dance have fun!!???! jay is not my type either. hes nice and i do like hanging out with him i just am not attracted to him. 

or not whatever!?? jay is always with gibby gabby. gibby gabby and i are going to watch some movies now.

a lot of guys are just BORING tho!?!? the last guy i hung out with that i was actually ATTRACTED to was john the tsa guy who is now a cop but actually he started acting jerky.....i mean, hes ok, but he was kind of weird if ya know what i mean???

like...hmm...........he wanted me to hook up with his friends and stuff..if they were hot than yeah maybe otherwise im not into it!??! ya know?!?

what the f!?? so i worked tonight and also tomorrow night.

i must sleep soon tho. i is tired. i need to take a shower. i work 515-915 tomorrow night.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!