eekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

ugh so for breakfast i had a greasy meal...(sausage, fried egg (((i dont like fried eggs. i like scrambled or egg white omelette))), sliced hashed browns, two mini bagels with butter, also hot sauce and ketchup) i sighed as i ate it. now it smells like red meat and olive oil. sigh sigh SIGH!!! i just...i cant eat this way! which is why the ultimate goal is..I JUST WANT MY OWN FUCKING PLACE!!! im sorry! im sick of eating unhealthy! i gained 25 pounds since last year! im almost 160 lbs now!! i dont want red meat! i dont want carbs...i only have an hour to make a blog...

another thing. ORGANIZATION! it is so unorganized. everything is!

this is what i would do! (this smell of meat is making me dizzy! im going to open the door)

i just took a shower, so i smell clean. but the smell of meat seems to be clogging my pores. smelling meat after you take a shower is kind of like, weird. at least for me it is...:/ that or im just a complaining ungrateful bitch. whatever!

to start...the shower. i need a shower with a heavy-ish water pressure. i like to use a good scented shampoo, then i cleanse my face with facial cleanser. then i rinse out shampoo and use conditioner. then i use a body pouf for a yummy scented body wash. then rinse out conditioner and put unscented soap on a washcloth and scrub nether regions, (armpits, crotchal area front then back HAAAAAAAAA) whatever...

then i will shave...then use wash cloth to get rid of extra hairs or whatever...

THENNNN i make sure i am all rinsed out and i get out of shower. i would prefer to walk with a towel to my room but since i dont have my own place now i usually change in bathroom. 

i dry off my body, pat down with towel, then i dry and put towel around my hair. I then put on deodarant, and I like to use baby powder for my legs, (to make it silkier) and some powder in underwear sometimes idk..i like baby powder...i don't really use lotion but i guess i should. skin guess dry in winter.

then i take out towel and brush out my hair. comb or something, not brush. (sorry but a peeve is to smell food after i get out of the shower. i just really hate it...)...

MAKEUP AND WHAT NOT

this is what i need to do! i have alot of makeup. i need to label and sort of file my makeup and stuff...

i need a seperate bag...i have a cosmetic bag...i should use it just for facial cream, lotion. also something for concealer, (when i want to go full face, which usually i dont. i dont even really wear makeup but for work i usually like to do my eyes up very light make up. i always need to moisturize tho). for full face, seperate bag for concealers, foundations, sponges (or have sponges and poufs/puffs with my makeup brushes)...oh wait hang on!! 

"its ready!" oh food is ready...ok ok..lets see what DEENER is!??! hmm

i am so bloated. my mom made my plate and she gave me big portions. it was meat and gravy, egg noodles, green beans and pecans, applesauce and green tea. i ate it all but the presentation was sloppy, some of the gravy was falling off the side of the plate so i had to avoid it so it wouldnt get on my clothes. my preference of eating dinner, sitting upright at the table, well i would prefer to chop up veggies, season the chicken, you know, prepare my meals, then give myself a small portion and enjoy the meal. pray and thank God for the food. 

OW my teeth!!! i really have bad toothaches...:( I would also just have some water with lemon or mint...or a brewed then chilled iced tea, some nights i would have a glass of red wine! before dinner i would make sure to take a shot of apple cider vinegar or have some apple cider vinegar diluted with water. after dinner i would have a few peices of pineapple for digestion. 

i told my mom it was good and asked her how she made the gravy. but yeah i sat on the couch and ate all of it. it was a big plate and i feel the bloat, but ehhh...whatchya gonna do!??!

i dont do post dinner dessert or coffee (just pineapple)...

i would be very precise with my life, you see? but since i do not have that priveledge i am very sloppy and disorganized. 

where was i now!??!

yes, so....FULL FACE would consist of...moisturizer, face primer, concealer, foundation, (if i decide to do contouring and highlighting i would go that route...) but all this stuff would be filed under one compartment...then powder to set it all. 

NEXT i fill in my eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil OR i like to use stencils and an angled brush, which i pat in a dark brown or black shadow then fill. i can also use an eyebrow liner to fill in spots and to make eyebrows look more neat. course my eyebrows would be tweezed and brushed and i have a little comb for eyebrows and a small eyebrow scissors that i trim my eyebrows with. ((i dont even groom my eyebrows now!!))

NEXT cheeks. i can see my cheekbones, so what i would do would be....take a good brush and focus on the bone, then some bronzer and blend, then maybe (if full face) a highlighter on top of cheekbone...usually tho its just a quick brush of blush nothing special! 

EYES! (all would have its own file...box/compartment) may even have shadows assorted into their own boxes...such as regular every day/work, and fancy..

ugh smells like a cigarette in here. my dad just walked in living room. soggy cigarette. and im bloated. tooth aches. food residue taste. 

i have to leave now. dad telling me to leave now. its 615 i have work at 7 pm. 

guess im not finishing THIS blog!!????!

im going to brush my teeth again