stuff

so...this is strange. i signed on to blogger, and i had a notification, telling me I had images up that need to be deleted. i guess someone complained about a conan blog i had up, although i was not quite sure which or what image/s were the one in question, so i just deleted them all. it was the 666/synchronicity/coincendental blog, that, to be honest, a year or so later, it doesnt even really mattter anymore, so so what? i just deleted all the photos. the link is here, sans images, but whatever!?? (unless they never put the blog back up??) https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1824396795755563480#editor/target=post;postID=4956123333238750037

oh well whatever, right!??! hmm..neck hurts!!! my mom made homemade mac n cheese, thats it, for dinner. ughh...that is not nutrition...just mac n cheese. no protein or vegetables. well, i can't complain, but i notice that when i eat well, i feel happy. when i eat bad, i feel bad. i am going to make a blog about how to lose weight and to be happy, but........i understand it is hard, especially when you dont have your own living room (for workout videos), and kitchen, (to cook in without looking for space or items).

damn, just been feeling a loss of life. i don't know if i will ever feel like living again? i feel like a blob, like a croissant, just sitting around. i feel like, ehh...

now that i am back home, my blogs will turn very boring, and i will just blog about stupid things.

i do have an interview tomorrow. it's a job...shrug. i just need to keep busy and work, save up some money. i need to get my bloodwork done too. i am so tired! i woke up at 1130 today, and got up, but my energy level is so low. i had taken a nap around 5 and i still feel so tired!

i think i am going to try to go to that adult swim cruise this friday??? i'm just not sure how i am going to get there. i am so cold all the time too!??! 

oh! oh blood moon!!! so, i just went outside, to look at the moon. its not cold! the brisk air woke me up, the smell of old leaves reminded me of a time, when i used to walk around outside in the fall. what have i BECOME!!??! i can still feel alive!! I JUST FELT IT! NOW! WHEN I WENT OUTSIDE TO TAKE A WALK TO LOOK AT THE MOON!

it was not the blood moon, but its the moon after. oh life! i can obtain my energy back again, i know i can! oh and driving! oh the driving! i love to drive!!! i love to burn cds and just drive! i love to work out! i love when i know i am eating healthy. i think i am going to just eat salads and fruits, and veggies. maybe some tuna here and there. some cold salmon. (i dont want to cook dinners here), well because, i like to prepare marinades, oh my mom doesnt have tupperware. oh quit excuses!!!

and i will figure out this friday. im too worried about it! i used to go to new york all the time! i just dont want my parents to be like, 'no! dont go!'

im not sure if i should take a bus up, or what tho!??

yeah, when i eat crappy foods, it makes me feel upset. depressed. last night we had chicken, veggies, and sweet potato. the potassium from the sweet potato amped my mood immediatly, but then today, just a starchy mac n cheese...i cant just eat that!

i did have a pumpkin spiced bagel earlier, and a cold chicken sandwich. i need veggies!!! i am going to write another nutrition blog soon.

i cant really do workouts here, but i can join the gym to use the treadmills, do  crunches, equipment. plus walks. its still nice enough to take walks!

oh so, a while back, i asked jay if he wanted to see the tim and eric show, which is this wknd, but then i asked him if he wants to go up to the adult swim cruise. he said yes to tim and eric, but now all of a sudden gabby his daughter is coming up this weekend. so, if we bought tickets to the tim and eric show, but then gabby is coming up (why is she still always around? i thought she went to temple. she did but she is still coming up. i need more ppl to pal around with...really) i dont have anyone else to head up to ny with!?? mike cant go, he works the next day...so he says.

i dont know who else to ask either? i dont hang out with lisa. everyone else is pregnant or has kids. thats alot to ask, taking a bus to nyc...im supposed to meet this girl up there tho, who lives in the city. 

see, mike doesnt care about me. dario told me he says he has  or wants nothing to do with me. why try to be with someone who thinks so low of you? i mean, he feels like i abandon him, by always going to california, and he thinks i dont want to do anything with my life.

i do tho. i want my life to be busy! i want to be active! i want to have friends! i want a flourishing, exciting, interesting life! not a life where i am always tired, where i feel like i have been crying for hours, where i continuously think of how lank i look, how much weight i gain, how sluggish i feel...

i can still convince myself to be happy!??! i suppose. i want someone in my life who makes my life feel exciting! i mean, i think everyone deserves that! whatever

i have a headache. i was thinking of taking the codeine pills, for my sore neck...an this headache. i just want carrots! my body is craving beta carotene. im too lazy to chop up carrots. they should have carrot sticks prepackaged. and im not talking about baby carrots! those things are just a bunch of old carrots molded into a baby carrot shape. plus food coloring? who knows!??!

oh ok........so i guess i will write about the uh, airport. i need to go to the drs tho!!! i dont want to use any more of my parents money. they gave me enough. they have been paying for my surcharges, my phone bill......oh i cant! i need a freaking job!! my phone bill is coming up soon, and my insurance. im not even sure i can afford to go to new york this friday!? :(

whatever. fuck life.

i have a headache...i wish i lived in las vegas. i feel like going out and drinking and gambling. i wake up at night anyways. it was so boring with moss. ugh why did i pop my tourist las vegas cherry with him? (EDIT: meaning, going to las vegas as just a tourist, instead of going to awards shows, conventions, events..but that sounds gross now, in essence. its a joke shudder) i wish i went to las vegas as a tourist with mike, well not even mike...he would be annoying. someone fun tho! someone that i am super attracted to too! i forget how its like!


i forget how it feels to feel beautiful!! for reals tho!??! i need a new hairstyle i am so sick of my hair!!! i need to start working out too. i can be sexy! HAAAAAAAAAAAA im a loser!! :P 

this bright light of the laptop is just waking me up and making me want to go out or something!??! hopefully this friday works out! will be lots of fun i think!!

i hope i find something fun to do this halloween. i want to do a horror fest thing, ooh! horror movie marathon!!! of course! masonic witches ball too! i have to go this year! 

so. as i was saying......hmm i cant think now :(

something about facebook...hmm....

hmm....dog scared of julia roberts ad? i guess!??! theres a video clip, where the guy shows a pic to the dog, an ad, and its a julia roberts ad, for lancome. her big brown eyes are smoldering with the smoky eye makeup, so her eyes are really standing out. the dog sees the eyes, staring back at the dog, and im sure the dog makes the connection that its eyes looking back at him, but its on a flat surface, (in a magazine) so that freaks dog out..sending him running away...

right? well, ppl are commenting that the dogs can sense evil spirits, and they can see the demons in julia roberts. or the dog can sense the evil within julia roberts. i just think, the eyes are super mesmerizing, confusing and therefore scaring the dog!??!

lol!!

i have an interview tomorrow at 1030 am...white castle! HA!! whatever! i mean, hopefully i get it. 

its just something, for the time being..to help me get back on my feet and established. yes i have two degrees, graphic and web design and pharmacy technician. plus i want to write!!! but whatever i also need money! so i can pay my bills and get some more tattoos and such. eventually i want to get my OWN PLACE BOO!

oh kim....nevermind i just want to write about the airport already!!! 

i wanted to write something that i missed tho...thats what!?? i just forget...what now!?? maybe about moss wanting to go to the palm for lunch. i guess he found out that it was the last day at the palm, so we went for lunch. its a famous place with a bunch of caricatures everywhere.

my perfect hours to work...10-6, or 10-4..part time..i will tell them tomorrow...

id rather not work with high school kids tho, ya know? i did that shit in high school! working at burger king and wendys. thats why i like working at warehouses. its 7-330 hours...

i was going to call penn foam back, but lets see how interview tomorrow goes! i just want to get back into working!! then i will celebrate!!!

for some reason i feel like going out tonight. i miss girl friends!!! i need to chill with my girl seamarina! 

hmm so yeah as i was saying, at the palm i spotted charlie sheen lookalikes, even a philip seymour hoffman!??! and a craig ferguson lookalike. there was also the first guy to have his pic up. also another guy...i have to remember his name now!??! he came to our table because his picture was above ours. the charlie sheen lookalike was his son! 

then we found out some info about the first guy to have his drawing put up there. im gonna have to ask moss.

ok i be back!