wednesday

hi! its only wednesday!!???! i really do not have much to do on my days off, and moss just stays on the computer all day. hes not a good host. jk he gets concerts together, but when it comes to things like, showing you around, he doesnt do that, but i really dont care anyways. i do not know what is going to happen to mike and i. i betrayed him. i lied to him and he thinks i came out here to have fun and party, (yeah right), my mind is miles away from here. i hate to complain but its the truth. i just, all i wanted this summer was some good company, good wine, good music, good memories! i decided to come here at the last minute, but now i am just like, what am i even doing here? i wake up every morning on this beat up 'couchy couch'....where i have to step over mounds and mounds of magazines to get anywhere. i have to lift up the 90's boombox sitting on top of the toilet to flush it, for some reason the flush thing is on top of the toilet??? what else? moss drives me crazy! kidding i am just being mean LOL! moss just wants me to be happy and he wants to help get me a job in entertainment. well, LETS DO IT THAN! YA HEAR ME!!???!!! im just depressed because this is not my home, and i am very picky and particular about things. moss says we can go grocery shopping and i can cook here, but i told him, i really don't want too. the kitchen is a mess, (i snapped some pictures)...listen to me, so ungrateful, ungracious, selfish, etc...(you know, i dont know what is going to happen to mike and i. no matter how much i tell him im sorry, that i miss him, that i want us to be happy together, he just msgs me back calling me disgusting, filthy disrespectful names, forget it than. i dont deserve to be called such horrible names. maybe i should just move back home with my parents and save up my money. its not worth it!!!! i just want to live there tho...because i want to eat healthy, work out. i dont know if i want to live out here in LA, tbh. ron has a place for me to stay here in beverly hills, a girl he knows needs a roommate. she has a kid so i would have to babysit, but thats cool i would get payed. if i can get some sort of 'job in entertainment' than fine! who knows tho? i just feel really depressed. why cant i just have some good friends to chill with? ok well, today not sure what the day holds. maybe walk around griffith park...