hi

thats right, i put these in notes....because i wanted too um...i thought the tracy morgan walmart trucker quotes were kind of odd:

The trucker who caused the fatal car crash that left Tracy Morgan in critical condition says he was not high on drugs or drunk when he slammed into the SUV ... and believes he's being skewered because a celeb was hurt in the accident.

A twitter account which appears to be Walmart trucker Kevin Roper was very active early Tuesday morning ... with a remorseful Roper saying, "I wish it was me and I can't express how horrible I feel."

Roper also denies reports he hadn't slept for 24 hours, claiming the bad press is all about finding a scapegoat, as he says, "because a famous person was involved." He wrote, "I was never charged at the scene of the accident because once again i was not guilty of any crime. Not until all the TV cameras came."

Roper seems to say he was not negligent and therefore not responsible for the crash, suggesting he was not at fault.

Roper concluded his tweets, writing, "So yes i am now most likely f****d because i had an unfortunate ACCIDENT with the wrong car that night."

(ME AGAIN!)

just seems strange...like, idk

moving on...

mom is back....i made her a meal. some sauteed up onions, squash, and red peppers with garlic and olive, and some cut up chicken with pepper, and i also made some white rice...she said it was good my dad had some too (w/out onions) said it was good...

anyways..........i dont know what i want to blog about anymore!??! i cant think!??! i need to start working! i need money you know? i also just need to keep occupied!!

i can say how, i feel like my life ended when i decided to go head up to bethlehem that one night. i posted on fb about wanting to go to red lobster, and no one responded...ahh...what can i do you know?

its not like i was trying to be a loser!!?? i was trying! i was working, saving up money. i did my own taxes ala turbo taxes, i was so...so....SOOOOOOOOO diligent about spending my money! and then...250 to get my car back from the fucking tow place, then 1500 to a lawyer........i dont know? and now i havent been working and everything else going on in my life. i just dont feel like it now. i just dont feel like doing anything, and i havent been. i just......i let myself go. i dont feel alive, i dont feel anything. this summer doesnt even feel like a summer. it feels like nothing!?? its june 12th and today was cold and rainy and drizzly. i haven even wore shorts yet!! or a sleeveless shirt!??! i still wear gross clothes. i feel nothing. i dont even feel.......idk? sometimes when i drive, i feel a bit of excitement. i like to drive and listen to music. i do want to flirt. i want to work, get paychecks, but i dont know!?? if i get a job, what do i tell them? oh yeah, i may be going to jail!??! or rehab!??!

my mom is getting some money for her settlement. not a lot, mind you. yeah, she is getting 20,000.00. that is good for my parents. they could use that money. take care of bills, finish paying the mortgage, fix the house, etc etc.

im not expecting any money from them tho. 20,000.00 really is not a lot. its ok tho.

sigh. what else?

POISON LIVE! yeah! i intend too! no matter how terrible my life is, living is THE ONLY option!!

oh america dad was on, stan tried to kill himself, he tried to hang himself!? wtf why would they play that episode on adult swim? and then, thats the one where francine enters the PIE contest...PIE PI???

i want to watch that movie pi...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo18VIoR2xU

i hope things start looking up tho...

i am so ready to start feeling normal again, and love. i want to feel that, i mean, i dont want THIS SHIT!!!!!!

I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I AM FUCKING LOVE LOVE WHATEVER I CANT SAY WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL BITCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I WANT TO JUST

BE!???????????????!

yo! and staff!!!!??

no im not tired! i always just.......do the same thing every freaking day!??????????

i like cooking tho, makes me feel happy!

i also like drinking! yeah so? i want to freaking some beers with a hot sexy PERSON!???! and just like, be dumb and annoying......

hmm..............not a buddy ol pal ol buddy ol pal!???! blah

whatever