Yo!

So...today was my day off. I wanted to clean, I really did...do. still do. I started too, I mean, I did wash the dishes and my bathroom rugs and added bleach to piping hot water to mop the bathroom floor, but Mike came over to use the printer, then we went to walmart. THERE IS NO MORE HYPHEN in walmart btw, and its not a mandela effect. They just updated the logo a bit. it happens. anywez...so, i kind of wanted to chill outside my house and chat. shannan now goes to night church with her kids. she owes me money tho!!!! so what else...hmm....i wanted to relax at home, because every day on my day off ive been doing things with my family. my parents and sage, which i dont mind. i want to do stuff with sage, and lila...but today i didnt really feel like doing anything. idk...i wanted to have outdoor wine mehhh...but shannans not around anymore!?? oh and joe was knocking on my door all day ughh. he wanted a ride to easton for cigarette tubes. so i gave him a ride begrudgingly. i want to sit outside and enjoy the outdoors but its so annoying to always answer questions about this stupid job or talk. sometimes i dont want to talk. i used to like going outside in the summer morning and having a cigarette and just reflecting. i dont want to talk! ok? just because i live across from them doesnt mean i want to talk all the time!!! so yeah finally my parents came over with sage, adria and caleb. eventually we all went bowling. then my dad brought joe home. yeah joe had free bowling tickets so he gave us them but he had to go bowling, so my dad dropped us off then picked him up.

he must of been bored all day but i know he had been drinking all day too. ahh what a life huh??? stuck in the projects, nothing to do really. cept drink all day i guess...??? and go bowling with us ha

walking back reminded me of being young, like a teenager. we used to walk everywhere. we'd just wander around at night. especially when in canada. we'd wander, go to the park, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes...idk. we did stuff tho. outdoorsy stuff. 4 wheeling, blueberry picking...walking to the stores whatever.

now tho...man...adria was on her phone the whole time! sage too but not as bad. kids now! on the phone all the time! i mean, as a kid, we enjoyed the summers. oh yeah, earlier i watched 'moonlight' on amazon prime for free. the movie was boring tho, and the main character had no personality, just sad. i found it hard to relate. i mean...i was invested in the movie, i just found it boring. and his friend, that kissed him and all that, that was his best friend? weird!???!?!?

so yeah, bowling was fun. retro!!! sage and caleb enjoyed it! my dad bowled too.

i want kids! i want to bring my kids places. my dad does everything for the kids. he always brought us kids around, and now his grandchildren.


i miss being young. i do like filming and i so wish i had filmed more of my life. i have home videos of being a kid and a teenager, but i wish i had videos of my 20s. when i hung out with peers. like..idk. now i dont really have much friends. i wish i took more videos in LA too...and all that. sigh. and my early 20s. you know...life.

its a good thing kids have technology, but also a bad thing. because...on one end, its fun to film and capture memories, (i wish i had that ability! id of captured footage of being in the army...or just hanging out and going to parties...doing things. places ive been. whatever. idk...) i mean, im still young in the grand scheme of things. id like to start filming and doing eventful things, but i need interesting people to hang out with. when i do have kids (??) im going to make sure to capture all their precious moments and memories. it feels good to reminisce it does, (wow i spelled that word right!??) we are human after all and to look back on good times helps the soul, i think. like looking through old photos.)

i have pictures tho. of course!!! but i wish i had more video because hey lets face it, im interested in seeing how i moved and looked and acted. selfish ego!